It's Probably Cain's Fault

Totally true things said by the people of Hargreaves estate

[truehargreavesquotes]

Neil: You really messed up this time Cain

Cain: idk what you're talking about but probably

[truehargreavesquotes]

Riff, about Cain: Not even as a joke would I say that my boyfriend’s a bitch and I don’t like him.

Riff: My boyfriend’s a bitch and I like him *so much.*

[truehargreavesquotes]

Cassian: i think dogs should vote

Jizabel: i concur wholeheartedly

[truehargreavesquotes]

Riff: Cain, please tell me you’re not experimenting with those old Russian poisons again.

Cain: I only paralyzed you for a week, you need to let that go.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Riff: I have a job for you.

Cain: Give me a name and I’ll give you a corpse.

Riff: Cain, we talked about this.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Cain: Sometimes I wish we had normal people problems.

Jizabel: That would be nice.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Crehador: You really don’t care who you piss off, do you?

Cain: Not in the slightest, no.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Jizabel: I am the most responsible person here.

Riff: You literally just set our lab on fire.

Jizabel: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Cassian: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas.

Jizabel, drinking blended ramen: Why?

[truehargreavesquotes]

Oscar: Has anyone ever told you that you’re a little dramatic?

Cain: [offended] A little?!

[truehargreavesquotes]

Cain: I prevented a murder today.

Riff: Really? That's amazing! How did you do it?

Cain: Self-control.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Riff, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti latte with, uhh, nine espresso shots.

Oscar, next in line: Jesus Christ just do cocaine.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Oscar: Have you ever looked at yourself and wished that you were different in every single way?

Crehador: No. I’m a winner.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Riff: You know, the last time you were dying you were a little bit more worried about the whole thing.

Cain: I was younger then. Carefree.

Riff: It was two days ago.

[truehargreavesquotes]

Jizabel: I have a plan

Cassian: No murder.

Jizabel: I have no plan

[truehargreavesquotes]

Cain: I have a plan

Riff: No poison.

Cain: I have no plan

[truehargreavesquotes]

I’ve got such effeminate hands; I could never be strong

Cain