𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄

𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒇.

[tsartsa]

𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃; 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐄. / 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃𝐒; / 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃, 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐘, / 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃.

#tsartsa, a private solo blog for fate/ grand order's anastasia, domesticated by e (they/them, 21+). © rules under the cut.

⸺ ❝ standard dni rules apply. if you're a creep, stay away from me. and of course, i will block at my own comfort and discretion. i do not owe you an explanation, we are strangers on the internet.

⸺ ❝ this blog is mutuals-only, please refrain from interacting if i'm not following you.

⸺ ❝ i trust mutuals to maintain basic rp etiquette. keep things clean, use your tags, trim your posts, etc.

⸺ ❝ if i mess up with tagging something, broach a topic i'm uneducated in, or otherwise do something unsavory, feel free to contact me privately so i can correct the issue.

⸺ ❝ shipping will be tricky; i am exclusives with asteroid's kadoc, and nastya has a hard time developing romantic feelings for others. not to say it's impossible, just that it'll take discussion and chemistry.

[tsartsa]

im alive i prommy i was just assassinated by work

[tsartsa]

i’m not really anything like a person.

he says such nonsense so assertively. she huffs audibly, lifts her chin just so, and stares down her nose at him.

and she is well within her rights to disparage him for it, but. it's a sentiment she shares, one that lingers not far from her periphery. what's left of her hardly qualifies as a person, steel and ice wrapped in furs and finery, eyes hollow and useless, given over to the shadow cast over her grave. and,

"and what of it?" it is less a question and more a demand, directed at a mirror. because while he may claim such horrid things about himself, that is never what she will see. perhaps he knows that. probably not.

kadoc and dense are close synonyms.

"we don't have to be people." her hands at his jaw draw him closer, to eye level, despite their inefficacy. and what goes left unsaid, well. she can't always voice the obvious.

[tsartsa]

i dream of you. sometimes in my dreams you are singing. sometimes you’re raging at me.

her responding silence is measured, breaths long and quiet, fingers curled in her lap. she dares to wonder if he's talking about her, or who she used to be — but that's cruel of her, isn't it?

"what a useless venture." is what eventually marches out of her mouth, spine rigid even as she leans towards him, nails drawing patterns across his knuckles. "i am right here." if even death could not keep them apart, then surely she can stay here, by his side?

and perhaps she is a contrarian, critic of her own bearing, her own dignity, because she sings; softly at first, she is less bold and more stubborn, but she's always had a weak soft spot for nursery rhymes.

it's as much for him as it is for her, and that's as selfish, as openly jealous as she can allow herself to be.

[rosources]

—   ask meme   :   MABEL,   a podcast by becca de la rosa and mabel martin.   episodes 23 (bull in the maze) & 24 (coalescence).

i’ve been cultivating unkindness. i’ve been cultivating a lot of things — i’m a fertile field, it turns out — but unkindness is the most interesting.

it is unkind of me to try and play a trick on you.

i can hear everything, warped and distorted but broadcast somehow.

i can’t dig you out; i can’t reach my fingers deep enough inside my own brain, inside my own ribcage.

without you, divorced from even the idea of you, i have no substance, no form.

you are the antithesis that gives me definition.

another tragic love story, who needs that?

tragedy is the point.

do you think you have a monopoly on anger?

i’m not really anything like a person.

i love you and love you and love you, just as i am gone and gone and gone.

i can’t imagine a version of myself that would not love you.

i dream of you. sometimes in my dreams you are singing. sometimes you’re raging at me.

don’t leave me.

i killed someone. i killed someone.

i’ll set myself on fire to give you light.

i don’t want you to be lost. i don’t want you to be stuck. i just want you to be free, and joyous, and buoyant.

i woke up needing you, you artery ripped loose from me, all bloody and twining.

time rattles on its hinges.

i’ve come to barter.

do you think i’m as fickle as a human?

are those matches? what do you think you’re doing?

i do not have time for this. you can be angry at me later, you can scream and rage at me when you’re not in danger anymore.

am i the martyr or are you?

there are other ways to get me to shut up, you know.

i believe you. i always believe you.

you’re always so right. it must be such a burden.

i must hate you, is that it? that’s why i did all this, because i want you gone.

i am with you because i want to be. that’s all.

i will love you like a fire loves a forest.

time has made liars and cheats of us all.

i will make a bullet of my mouth. i will make a knife of my heart.

you think you are the monster at the end of this book?

[tsartsa]

quick n dirty verse basics bc i have no patience

F/GO. kadoc's anastasia; summoned during his tenure with novum chaldea. turns out the events of the first lostbelt were significant enough to be engraved on her saint graph. as such, she retains her yaga blood and other neat quirks.

GENERAL VERSE. a young woman who perished along with her family in a terrible tragedy, only... what exactly do you do when you wake up after dying? she's still trying to figure that out, especially so given the fact that she did not wake up the same. and now she's being haunted by a freaky little doll.

POKÉMON. a girl resurrected by her family's ???-old banette, viy. a little cold, a little creepy, a lot confused. has an affinity for ghost and ice types, predictably.

GENPACT. a native snezhnayan who died in a feeble attempt to usurp the tsaritsa. well, she's awake now, with a cryo vision no less.

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI. heiress to a long line of respected devil summoners, a brush with death bonded her with a demon doll by the name of viy. lawful-neutral. may or may not be a nahobino.

[tsartsa]

quick n dirty bio for the masses

NAME. anastasia ██████████ ████████ ALIAS(ES). schwipsig, nastya, tsaritsa AGE. approx 23 GENDER. girlshaped PRONOUNS. she/her ORIENTATION. bisexual with a strong preference for women HEIGHT. 158 cm BUILD. dainty HAIR. long, straight, silvery EYES. cloudy blue DISTINGUISHING FEATURES. unnervingly pale, cold to the touch

TRAITS. aloof, distrustful, unflappable, determined, spiteful LIKES. viy, dogs, fairytales, pranks, sweets DISLIKES. guns, hot weather, people, expectations MENTAL. depression, ptsd, the opposite of survivor's guilt PHYSICAL. completely blind in her right eye

[tsartsa]

okay i'll make more detailed things and stuff like bios and verses eventually but firstly. in every verse outside of fgo just know girliepop was raised from the dead by her family's emotional support creepy definitely haunted doll and she not only came back Wrong she also came back Dog

[tsartsa]

to all the homies brought here by beloved friend asteroid. i am Sorry

[tsartsa]

augh