tw knox

call me knox 5’5” sw - 140, lw - 130, cw -125, gw - 115 bmi - ?? basically my diary so pls don’t report, 19!

[ttylknox]

hi, call me knox. looking for friends and a safe space to discuss my mental health. i like almost everything and can talk to almost everyone, so don’t be afraid to chat :) thanks, <3

[ttylknox]

why can’t i stay clean

[ttylknox]

body check - 120something

[ttylknox]

kind of putting all of my hope into college rn. i’m hoping that when i leave, i can take the steps i need to help manage my fucking disorder and hopefully just stop sh myself bc i’m kind of over being depressed you know. like, i don’t want to do this anymore it’s not fun and if i really have to go through this any longer i’m offing myself depressed you know. anyways, let’s hope austin is where it’s at.

[ttylknox]

should i weigh myself? i’m nervy

update: i didn’t they took the scale out of my bathroom lol

[ttylknox]

the adrenaline i get sometimes 😩😩😩 ugh it be the highlight of my day

[ttylknox]

idk what i weigh. hormones + meds got me feeling weird. i started to binge and fast again lmao i really only know how to do one thing.

[ttylknox]

lost 5 lbs :)

[ttylknox]

I BINGED!!!!! fucking weed 🙄

[ttylknox]

wasn’t even upset today but i still sh and now i’m upset and i want to do it more AHHHHH WHERES THE CONTROL,????

[ttylknox]

thought getting some new piercings would take away the desire to sh but it really didn’t and i think i’m just going to cave already i give up

on the bright side: restricted today and i didn’t even think about food i really did have a good day

also: i’m pretty sure i lost weight but i don’t feel like being disappointed so im going to wait out on weighing myself. although my dad has a super accurate scale so if i spend the night tomorrow i might weigh myself just so i have a general idea.

[ttylknox]

anyways i wish i had weed it would make me feel less HRKSVSJSBAAK about everything u know

[ttylknox]

i guess i did something wrong but i’m not sure if i did something wrong and i’m too scared to ask bc what if i’m being selfish and that person is going through something but if that person is going through something and i talked to them about it maybe i could help them OR maybe i’m overthinking hahah idk.

[ttylknox]

went over my calorie limit blah blah blah i don’t even want to think about it :/

[ttylknox]

what the fuck did i do?

[ttylknox]

ate pretty average but i still feel really bad about it so i’m going to do some sit ups later tonight before bed

[ttylknox]

i fucking hate when people comment on my facial expressions i’m not bored i’m autistic fuck off.