Summary: “You know,” Taekwoon said, laughing wearily and rubbing a hand through his hair, “Saying that I lost my memory wasn’t exactly true. And before you get all mad at me, it is much more believable than saying that I somehow made it into a world where the timelines diverged sometime when I was a teenager and I never became a part of Vixx.”
As Taekwoon and Jaehwan’s friendship develops into something more, secrets need to come to light. That doesn’t mean that either of them are happy about it. Sequel to take me back and Notes to Befriend Lee Jaehwan. Part 3 of my Leo in a Strange Land series.
Summary: “You know,” Taekwoon said, laughing wearily and rubbing a hand through his hair, “Saying that I lost my memory wasn’t exactly true. And before you get all mad at me, it is much more believable than saying that I somehow made it into a world where the timelines diverged sometime when I was a teenager and I never became a part of Vixx.”
As Taekwoon and Jaehwan's friendship develops into something more, secrets need to come to light. That doesn't mean that either of them are happy about it. Sequel to take me back and Notes to Befriend Lee Jaehwan. Part 3 of my Leo in a Strange Land series.
Rating: T
Word Count: 9.5k
Also on AO3
Note: If you haven’t read the first two parts of the series, I recommend doing that first, as this won’t make much sense. You can read take me back HERE and Notes to Befriend Lee Jaehwan HERE.
“You know, I asked you a month ago if you wanted to meet the Vixx members, but you kind of ignored me,” Jaehwan said, glaring at Taekwoon from where he was sitting across from him in their coffee shop. Their semester had ended several weeks ago and they were enjoying the small break. Of course, Jaehwan was still practicing hard and attending many events and activities with Vixx, and Taekwoon was busy working on his thesis and composing, but they still considered it a break.
“Yeah,” Taekwoon said, trailing off slightly. Jaehwan glared again, this time a little more severe than his usual playful anger.
“Come on, Taekwoon-hyung,” he pouted. “I’ve met your mom, several times in fact. I know you’re a fan and everything, but you can’t avoid meeting them forever.” Taekwoon opened his mouth to reply that he could very well try, but Jaehwan cut him off before he could start. “You’re important to me; you’re my best friend. And they’re my best friends too. I want all of you to get along, and that’s never going to happen if you never meet.”
Jaehwan looked up at Takewoon from under his eyelashes, eyes serious. Taekwoon knew that even if he wanted to, and he did, he wouldn’t be able to say no.
“Fine,” Taekwoon said, rubbing a hand over his forehead, trying to fight the headache he could feel approaching. “When?”
“Thank you so much Hyung!” Jaehwan said, moving around the table to give him a hug, squeezing him extra tight. “I’ll let you know. Soon, though.”
Taekwoon sighed.
--
Taekwoon didn’t know how to feel. When he had gotten home that night, he went straight to his room, skipping dinner. His headache had developed into a migraine, and even placing his head on the pillow caused a pulse of pain, making it impossible to think or sleep. He didn’t often get migraines, but anytime he was under a lot of stress or pressure, his head decided to play games with him, making him even more stressed and unable to rest properly.
Of course he wanted to meet the rest of the Vixx members, that wasn’t even a question, but he was scared: scared that they would be unrecognizable even after knowing their counterparts for 4 years, scared that they wouldn’t like him, and scared of what meeting them meant. He wouldn’t be Vixx’s Leo to them, he would be Jaehwan’s friend Taekwoon. At least that was better than being the random, tall male fan.
He curled onto his side and brought his knees to his chest, hugging them slightly. He tried to go to sleep, but the pounding of his head was too much and even the light coming from the hallway outside his door was preventing him from getting any rest. He found himself drifting in and out, feeling almost high until his medicine kicked in and he finally fell asleep.
--
“You guys have to be nice to him,” Jaehwan said as the five Vixx members walked to the restaurant they had chosen to meet at. “He’s very nice and way too good for all of us. So please, please be on your best behavior.”
“So cute,” Wonshik said as he caressed Jaehwan’s ear. “You’re trying to protect your friend. We’re nice, though?” he said, voice lilting up at the end in a joking question. Jaehwan wasn’t really worried about how they would act, as all of the members were genuinely nice people, but he wanted then to make a good first impression.
“Now everyone,” Hakyeon said, turning around so he faced the members, very narrowly missing running into a pole and was only saved by Hongbin reaching out and pushing him slightly to the right. “Remember, Taekwoon is my age, so he’s your hyung. I know you don’t show me much respect sometimes,” there were several affronted mutters, “but treat him like a hyung.”
“You two are really making us seem like demon children,” Hongbin said. “We’ll honestly be fine? I don’t see the problem.”
“Sorry,” Jaehwan said, running a hand over his hair, just missing elbowing Wonshik in the eye. “Taekwoonie-hyung has just helped me a lot. He’s the only reason I passed theory last semester and he’s a sweet person. He’s also a fan, so he already knows your names and general personalities. He was just hesitant to meet you all, probably because he is a fan, so I just need this to go well.”
“It’ll be fine,” Hakyeon said, smiling gently. “Now, did he say he’d meet us inside? Or what?”
“He… just texted me,” Jaehwan said, grabbing his phone out of his pocket. “He’s apparently waiting outside now.”
They walked a little faster to the restaurant and Jaehwan smiled in relief when he saw Taekwoon leaning against the wall, looking cool in ripped jeans, leather boots, and a flowy shirt, half tucked in. Taekwoon turned his head slightly and spotted Jaehwan, immediately smiling and giving a small wave. Jaehwan waved back and started to walk faster.
“That’s Taekwoon?” he heard Wonshik mutter incredulously to the other members, but he didn’t care what Wonshik meant by that and as soon as he got within grabbing distance, he hugged Taekwoon, smile bright across his face.
“Well, I’m here,” Taekwoon said, still looking at Jaehwan softly, an arm planted around his waist.
“Yes, you are,” Jaehwan agreed, “and you can finally, officially, meet the members.”
Jaehwan was still staring at his face when Taekwoon’s smile dropped slightly, and it took on a more strained look as he turned his head to greet the rest of the Vixx members. “Hello,” he said in his soft voice, “I’m Taekwoon. It’s nice to meet you.”
There was a brief moment of silence before Hakyeon gave a bright smile and came up to give Taekwoon a short, slightly awkward hug. Taekwoon closed his eyes and gripped Hakyeon hard, before releasing him. The other members didn’t hug him, but they greeted him kindly before all six of them made their way into the restaurant.
They ordered 10 orders of marinated crab because Sanghyuk could eat 3 orders by himself and then chatted lightly, waiting for the food. It was a little awkward at first as the members tried to include Taekwoon in their conversations.
“You really don’t have to include me,” Taekwoon said, meeting their eyes after the forth awkward glance his way, “I don’t talk much anyway. Just talk like you usually would.”
“Hyung,” Jaehwan started, staring at him with a worried look on his face.
“No, seriously,” Taekwoon said, making sure they understood. “If I want to add something, I will, but just talk about whatever you would like. I hate that I’m making the atmosphere uncomfortable.”
The younger members hesitantly started talking amongst themselves, about some game or another, but Hakyeon ignored them and turned toward Taekwoon and Jaehwan, who was hanging off of him.
“Well,” Hakyeon said, “That’s okay then, but I still want to talk to you. Now, according to Jaehwan, you’re studying composing, is that right?”
“Ah, yes. I just started my MA, so I’ll be finishing in another year and a half,” Taekwoon said, turning to look at Hakyeon. Jaehwan linked their arms together and scooted his butt closer so he was pressing against Taekwoon’s side even more than before.
“He’s really good,” Jaehwan bragged, leaning over to talk to Hakyeon. Taekwoon got a whiff of his hair as the air displaced and immediately tried to distance himself from his own thoughts, as they were drifting into somewhat dangerous territory. “Did I ever play you the song he wrote for me?”
Hakyeon smiled and shook his head. “No, but I remember you crying about it. That good, huh?” he asked Taekwoon, laying a hand on his upper arm.
The gesture was very familiar. Even when Taekwoon was having a difficult time when they debuted and would push him away, Hakyeon would still try to be close to Taekwoon, would lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, or hug him. He had admitted to Hakyeon years later that he was what had kept him going during the early years, that and his own ambition. Hakyeon had cried silently to himself, burying his face in his palms for several minutes before looking back at him, tears quelled for a moment and a smile on his face. “Thank you, Taekwoon,” was all he had said in response, but it conveyed how much the words truly meant to him and made Taekwoon’s own heart ache at how much Hakyeon must have suffered because of him.
Taekwoon came out of his thoughts to Hakyeon and Jaehwan staring at him intently. “Sorry, I spaced out,” he said. “What were you talking about?”
Jaehwan pouted. “I was just reprimanding Hakyeon-hyung for doubting your skills.” He paused for several moments, staring intently at his face. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.
Taekwoon nodded and squeezed Jaehwan’s waist tight. “Really, I’m fine,” he said and was spared from any other prying questions when the food came, Taekwoon clapping his hands in delight to see so much crab being settled on the table.
“Just letting you know,” Taekwoon announced to the table when they had started to dig in, mouths already filled with crab and rice, “if I start coughing or my voice disappears, I’m fine. I’m just very slightly allergic to crab.”
“Are you joking?” Hongbin asked after a moment of silence.
Taekwoon laughed and shook his head. “I’m really not joking, but it’s not serious. And I like crab, so…” he trailed off.
There was another moment of awkward silence. Taekwoon sighed and disentangled Jaehwan’s arm from his own, making to stand up. “Sorry, I keep bringing the mood down. I’ll leave.”
“No!” the members all shouted with varying degrees of intensity, reaching out to motion for him to stay.
“We’ll just talk about something else,” Hakyeon said, looking a little panicked, his eyes shifting around the table. “You should talk to Wonshik about composing. That’s something you two have in common.”
Wonshik turned to him with a small, awkward smile. “That’s right, you’re a composition major. Do you have a specific style you like? Do you compose classical music, or music with lyrics, or…?” he trailed off. Taekwoon smiled at his attempt at communicating, knowing exactly how difficult Wonshik found this kind of small talk.
“I compose music that’s meant to be sung, but I have composed some pieces for piano as well. I took a class on piano music composition several years ago, which was a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.”
Taekwoon had perked up when they started talking about music, getting a light in his eyes that had been absent for the rest of the dinner. Jaehwan smiled at his side when he saw how passionate he got, sharing a relieved look with Hakyeon.
“I really like composing ballads and medium tempo songs, or things with interesting instrumentation-”
Taekwoon and Wonshik continued talking, Sanghyuk occasionally adding his own opinion, or asking questions as he had recently started taking an interest in composing.
“You know,” Jaehwan butted in, giving a sly look to Taekwoon, “in addition to being a good and passionate composer, Taekwoonie-hyung is also a fantastic singer. He’s better than me!”
As everyone turned to Taekwoon, he rolled his eyes, elbowing Jaehwan in the side lightly. “I’m not better than him, he has a better range and a nice tone on high notes. I’m just a decent singer.”
Jaehwan scoffed. “Don’t let him fool you. Really, he’s a great singer. He sings and plays piano at a live bar sometimes.”
Taekwoon covered his face with his hands as he felt his ears heat up at the praise. He heard Hakyeon chuckle at him and groaned, taking a deep breath before baring his face again.
“Now I’m curious, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said, leaning forward slightly so he could see him around Jaehwan. “You used to work in an office, right?” He waited for Taekwoon to nod before continuing. “You’re clearly very musical, so why didn’t you go into music right out of college? You waited how many years before going back to school?”
Jaehwan turned toward Taekwoon as well, curious as to the answer. Somehow, this was one topic they had never talked about. But now that he thought about it, it was very strange that Taekwoon had never gone into music straight away, even getting a degree in business and working in an office for several years.
Taekwoon’s face had taken on a strange look that Jaehwan couldn’t identify, making his heart sink without him knowing why.
“Oh,” Taekwoon said, his voice somehow softer than normal. “Um, I don’t know. I, um, lost a lot of my memory from when I was a teenager until about 9 months ago. I can’t really tell you what I was thinking at the time.”
There were several intakes of breath from around the table before Jaehwan grabbed his thigh tightly, causing Taekwoon to turn toward him in askance, trying to avoid his stare as much as possible.
“Are you serious?” Jaehwan asked, his voice cracking slightly in the middle. Taekwoon opened his mouth but Jaehwan just continued. “Nevermind, I know you’re serious but… why didn’t you ever tell me?”
He sounded hurt and Taekwoon peaked up through his hair, noticing Jaehwan’s eyes and mouth drooping slightly.
“Sorry, it’s just… not something I like to think about,” Taekwoon told him quietly, “it was a pretty difficult time for me and I was still struggling through it even when I met you.”
Jaehwan said he understood, but the rest of the meal was stilted and strained and Taekwoon apologized what seemed like a hundred times to the Vixx members for bringing down the mood and making the whole meal awkward. They apologized right back to him and as they were leaving, Hakyeon hugged him tightly, murmuring an apology in his ear before letting go and smiling at him, eyes warm and inviting, looking every part the Hakyeon Taekwoon had left behind. Instead of hurting, it made him feel better inside that maybe he hadn’t ruined everything.
“You’re not walking back with them?” Taekwoon asked as they had waved goodbye, Jaehwan staying by his side, a warm hand placed on his shoulder.
“I figured you and I could take the long way back,” Jaehwan said, giving him a restrained smile.
They walked for a few minutes in silence, just listening to the loud laughter and chatter coming from the groups they passed, or from the open doors of restaurants. After several blocks, Jaewan asked, not even turning to look at Taekwoon, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
They walked a few more steps in silence as Taekwoon gathered his thoughts, trying to find the right words. “Jaehwan,” he said softly, “you know I care about you, right?”
Jaehwan stubbornly stayed silent for a few seconds before murmuring his assent.
“I… it was a terrible time for me. One day, I had woken up, very confused because I wasn’t where I thought I would be. I knew nothing about a job I had supposedly had for years, and I wasn’t doing what I thought I should be doing. I never hit my head and I still remembered some things, like the big events that had happened around the world, but I hadn’t known myself, and that was the worst part of it all, not knowing how I became the person I was.”
“I just feel like a terrible friend, that I never knew,” Jaehwan said, hurt clear in his voice. “And I’m angry at myself for being hit so hard by something that affects you and not me, that I’m this selfish to only be thinking about my own hurt when you had experienced this…” Jaehwan trailed off before running a hand through his hair, messing up the coifed hairstyle so a few strands fell in his eyes.
Taekwoon wrapped an arm around Jaehwan’s waist and squeezed him in a side hug before letting go, smiling at Jaehwan when their eyes met. “You know,” he said, “there was one good thing that came out of my memory loss.” Jaehwan tilted his head questioningly. “Well, it brought me to you, didn’t it?” he asked, smiling at him again, eyes soft. “We never would have met.”
Jaehwan’s breath caught at both the statement and the smile directed at him, feeling dizzy for a moment before he could take a deep breath and steady himself, completely thrown by the feelings the moment had brought up.
The rest of the walk to the apartment Jaehwan shared with the Vixx members was lighter, both of them joking around and talking about safer topics, things back to normal. They hugged goodbye, clinging a little longer than normal before they parted ways, Jaehwan making his way upstairs and Taekwoon to the train station.
--
“So, how was your walk?” Hakyeon asked Jaehwan when he made his way inside, putting a strange emphasis on the last word that Jaehwan ignored.
All four members were sitting on the couch, waiting for Jaehwan to make his way home. He should have been expecting this and known that they would want to interrogate him.
“He’s nice,” Hakyeon said as he led Jaehwan over to the couch to sit down with them. “Not what I was expecting, but he’s nice.”
“I’m sorry the dinner was so awkward,” Jaehwan said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Taekwoon’s an awkward person in general, and then I kind of threw him in the middle of things, I swear he’s a nice person.”
“Didn’t I just say that he was nice?” Hakyeon asked, giving Jaehwan a look.
“He’s different from your other friends,” Wonshik said, “calmer and more mature. Not that your other friends aren’t, but… yeah, they aren’t. Taekwoon-hyung is better.”
“I mean,” Hongbin started, “sure it was awkward, but we approve of your friendship, and wasn’t that what the whole dinner was about?”
“I may be a little in love with him,” Jaehwan said, groaning into his hands. Sanghyuk snorted and patted him on the back.
“You are more than a little in love with him,” he said, earning a quick kick from their leader. “You hung onto every word he said and were ridiculously clingy. You are so far gone, it’s hilarious.”
“Ugh, do you think he knows?” Jaehwan asked, covering his eyes with his arm.
“Probably not,” Hakyeon said, shrugging. “But it’s difficult to know.” He paused, judging Jaehwan’s expression before continuing. “It’s alright to be in love with him.”
Jaehwan just shook his head. “No it’s not. He’s going to hate me.”
“I don’t think that man has a bone in his body that could hate you.”
--
During the next month and a half, Jaehwan had started and completed musical rehearsals, and opening night was upon them. Jaehwan had, of course, secured a ticket for Taekwoon without him even having to ask, and was able to give it to him during one of the very few times they were able to meet during that busy time period. School was back in session for the semester and Taekwoon was busy composing, and Jaehwan busy with his own coursework and schedules in addition to rehearsals. They didn’t have any of the same classes this time around, so they made do with seeing each other whenever they were both available, which was rare.
You’re still coming tonight, right? Jaehwan texted while his manager drove him to the theatre. It took a few minutes to get a response.
Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.
Jaehwan smiled. You going to be free afterwards?
The next message came quicker. Yeah, wanna do something?
Yeah, but I have a schedule early in the morning so not for long.
That’s fine. Text me after the show so I know where to meet you.
J J J
--
“You were great!” Taekwoon said as he gave Jaehwan a hug. When they released each other, he handed him the bouquet he was holding and smiled softly as he watched Jaehwan sniff at the flowers.
Jaehwan was still slightly sweaty and his stage makeup was a little worse for wear when the two of them finally met their gazes.
“Do you really think so?” Jaehwan asked, pouting toward Taekwoon. Taekwoon just nodded, a happy smile on his face and he held out his arms again to give him another hug, holding him tight against his chest one more time.
“No but seriously, you were stunning,” Taekwoon said, “I couldn’t concentrate on anyone else. Nobody compared.”
Jaehwan blushed slightly at the compliments and smiled at Taekwoon, his eyes crinkling around the edges.
“So,” Jaehwan said, “what do you want to do? I have a blissful 4 hours before I should head back to the dorm.”
“Well, in that case,” Taekwoon said as he started walking toward the exit, motioning for Jaehwan to follow, “Do you want to go to a noraebang? Just unwind and have some fun?”
Jaehwan looked at him suspiciously. “You don’t really seem the type,” he said. But Taekwoon just smiled back at him.
“No I don’t, do I?” he asked before putting his arm around Jaehwan’s shoulders and setting them off at a brisk pace. “I do have the ulterior motive of wanting to sing with you, though, so…” he trailed off.
Jaehwan inhaled sharply through his nose but pretended the words didn’t affect him.
When they had made their way into the noraebang room and the lights were dimmed, the colored lights flashing, the two of them relaxed and let go, intending to have fun singing their hearts out.
While Taekwoon was singing some ballad made prettier by his voice, Jaehwan stared at him intensely, unable to look away from the way Taekwoon’s lips formed the lyrics, the way his mouth opened and closed with each breath he took. He looked ethereal under the colored lights, his eyes heavy lidded as he sang, not needing the lyrics displayed on the screen.
His thoughts made Jaehwan angry at himself, knowing that Taekwoon would never like him back, that it would always be this thing hanging heavy over his head, something he would never be able to confess, but would have to carry with him for the rest of their friendship. But when Taekwoon finished his song, one last note hanging in the air as he turned to smile at Jaehwan, handing him the microphone for the next song, Jaehwan’s heart couldn’t take it anymore.
He stood up and walked slowly and deliberately toward Taekwoon. Taekwoon was holding his arm out, microphone weighing down his hand, but Jaehwan bypassed it and threw his arms around Taekwoon’s shoulders, hands going to the back of his head to pull him down so their lips met.
He was met with pliant lips and enjoyed the few seconds they were connected until Taekwoon pulled away, his sharp intake of breath clear even over the heavy instrumental of the forgotten song.
Jaehwan watched as Taekwoon took a step back, almost falling over the table before collapsing on the couch and covering his face with his hands, his whole body drooped forward.
“I can’t,” he muttered, voice softer than usual as he spoke through his hands.
Jaehwan tensed up, angry at himself for letting his feelings get that far. “I’m sorry,” he said, causing Taekwoon to raise his head, dark circles already forming around his eyes, made worse by the lights in the room
“No it’s okay,” Taekwoon said, meeting Jaehwan’s eyes. “It’s really not you at all. It’s me. I’m so messed up you don’t even know,” he said, dragging a hand angrily through his hair before dropping back to scratch at his neck.
“No, it’s okay. I understand” Jaehwan said, peering hard at the floor, seeing the slight shine of sticky spilled beer from whoever had occupied the room previously. He understood that Taekwoon wouldn’t want to be with him.
Taekwoon made a frustrated sound, dragging the air through his teeth. “No, it’s really not you,” he insisted, looking into Jaehwan’s eyes, trying to make him understand. “This would be fine, except…” he trailed off.
Jaehwan took a step back, crossing his arms to try and get some kind of comfort. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I understand you don’t want me. Sorr-”
“No!” Taekwoon said, almost at a shout as he stood up, his hands clenched into his shirt. “No, please. I just… I just need to think,” Taekwoon said, unconsciously mirroring Jaehwan’s pose. “Don’t stop being my friend. I just need to think. And then I’ll explain.”
Taekwoon was looking at him with such soulful eyes, pleading with Jaehwan to understand him. Jaehwan finally nodded and Taekwoon sighed in relief.
“Okay, I’m going to go now,” he said, grabbing his phone as he stepped around Jaehwan. Jaehwan just looked on as Taekwoon went out the door and glanced back once before rushing down the hallway.
Jaehwan took several minutes to settle himself and then walked out to the front desk, intent to pay their tab. He choked up a little bit when the woman said that it was already paid, but didn’t let his tears escape him until he left the building. He sat down on some steps, put his face in his hands, and cried.
--
Hakyeon immediately ushered Jaehwan into his arms when he saw him, probably taking note of his weak steps and red-rimmed eyes.
“Not go well?” he asked in a soft voice, not even having to ask what would make him so upset. That was what made Hakyeon such a great leader and friend; he was always aware of the happenings of his life so he could be there to help him pick up the pieces.
Jaehwan sighed. “He said he needed to think, that he still wanted to be friends it wasn’t me, it was him, blah blah blah,” he said, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m so stupid.”
“No,” Hakyeon said, putting an arm around Jaehwan’s shoulders. “You’re not. He said he needed time, right?” he asked, trying to peer at Jaehwan’s face, lips upturned in a soft smile. Jaehwan nodded slowly. “He told us he lost his memory, and clearly he has some issues to work out surrounding that, so give him the space and allow him time to process how his life is going. Sure, he hurt you, and that matters, but he also went through something that none of us can understand,” Jaehwan’s heart clenched at the thought, “and I’m glad he’s deciding to work on his mental health now, rather than 6 months into a relationship.”
“He still hurt me,” Jaehwan mumbled, not intending for it to be heard, and definitely not intending to sound so bitter. Hakyeon just squeezed him harder.
“Yes, he did,” Hakyeon said, reaching a hand toward Jaehwan’s chin to turn it, forcing him to look at Hakyeon’s expression. “You are important too, but you need to protect your feelings just as much as you project them. Your mental health is just as important as Taekwoon’s. Understand?”
Jaehwan blinked a few times slowly, then nodded his head. Hakyeon gave him another smile and squeezed his knee, fingers digging in comfortably before he stood up and made his way out of the room, intent to give Jaehwan some alone time.
Jaehwan just stared at his phone as he clenched it in his fist. He didn’t know how long he sat there as millions of thoughts and scenarios passed through his mind. Finally, with shaking fingers he typed out a message, pressing send before he decided to delete it.
we’re still friends. take all the time you need.
An hour later, after he had gotten out of the bathroom, face freshly clean from any leftover makeup, Jaehwan looked at his phone and saw a return message from Taekwoon. It was simple, but it brought a small smile to Jaehwan’s face.
thanks.
--
Time went on as usual for Jaehwan and soon two weeks had passed. The only difference between these weeks and the past several months was the severe lack of texts from Taekwoon. The frequent ruminations about life, or notes about whatever song he was working on mixed with a healthy dose of pictures and stories from his nephew used to help Jaehwan get through his busy work and school schedule, but the weeks just moved passed him, a little more boring.
The other members noticed something was wrong too. Hakyeon promised he hadn’t told them what happened, but no matter what Jaehwan wanted to think, they were actually smarter than a lot of people gave them credit for. So he put up with their weird version of coddling for exactly twelve days before exploding at them.
“Yes, Taekwoon did say, and I quote ‘give me some time,’ and yes I cried on my way home, but you guys don’t get to treat me like glass because of it!” he ranted, throwing the shirt he had just balled up in his fist to Wonshik when he opened his mouth, looking apologetic.
“Don’t you dare say anything related to my heartbreak at all,” he threatened, pointing at them with his finger, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I will get over it on my own time.”
“Um, sorry,” Wonshik said, rubbing at his neck as he glanced at Hongbin and Sanghyuk, who both looked a little taken aback at the genuine anger coming out of their member. While Jaehwan was never really calm, his anger was always a little more fake or cute and almost never something serious. “I did actually have something to say though,” he continued, giving a strange smile to Jaehwan.
“What?” Jaehwan asked, folding his arms over his chest.
“Well, I glanced over at your phone when it lit up a while ago, and noticed that it was actually Taekwoon-hyung, so…” he trailed off before slowly backing away when Jaehwan took a step forward.
“What?” he asked again, this time a little breathless. He felt around in his pocket before looking around the room when he couldn’t locate his phone. It took a few long seconds to spot it, but he finally did and glared at it from where it lay innocently on a chair.
He walked forward, ignoring his members and grasped it gently in his hand. He unlocked it and his heart clenched tightly when he noticed that Taekwoon had, in fact, texted him. There were actually three messages from him. He sunk down to the floor for some support and it wasn’t until he was seated fully on the ground that he realized there was a chair right in front of him and it probably would have been better to just sit there.
With shaking fingers, Jaehwan opened their messages.
Um, hey, Jaehwan. First, thanks for giving me the space I needed. I really appreciate it.
Whenever you aren’t busy, can we talk?
But only if you still want to.
The last message was sent 10 minutes after the first two and it made Jaehwan feel terrible as he imagined Taekwoon sending him the messages and when Jaehwan hadn’t immediately responded, thinking that Jaehwan didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
It took him several minutes to compose a reply, and when he finally did, he pressed send with shaking hands.
Do you have some time tonight? I can come over after practice.
Taekwoon texted back one minute later and Jaehwan let out a shaky breath as he read.
Of course. See you tonight. I missed you.
--
“Hey,” Taekwoon said as he opened the door. There were a few seconds of awkwardness as they decided if they should hug or not, but finally Jaehwan pushed away the feeling and gave him a tight hug, burying his face into his best friend’s shoulder. They stayed like that for several seconds before they pulled away and smiled at each other.
“Um, thanks,” Taekwoon said, eyes as soft as ever. Jaehwan felt his whole body relax, glad at the sign from Taekwoon that they were still close, that he still meant something to him.
Jaehwan nodded in acknowledgement and motioned with his arm, silently asking if he could step inside. Taekwoon immediately stepped away, allowing Jaehwan to pass and watched on in silence, arms wrapped around his body as Jaehwan took off his shoes.
“”Let’s go to my room,” Taekwoon said in his quiet voice. Jaehwan followed behind him, stopping only briefly to say hello to Taekwoon’s mother before they settled into his room. Jaehwan looked around for any indication on where to sit, but Taekwoon just pulled him to his bed and forced him to sit down and get comfortable. Jaehwan watched as Taekwoon played with the sleeves on his shirt, pulling at a loose thread and worrying it around his finger.
“If you’re still not comfortable,” Jaehwan started but stopped, unsure of how to finish. That he would leave? Because he definitely did not want to leave. Not yet. He was relieved when Taekwoon shook his head.
“Um…” he trailed off, still playing with his sleeves. “This is going to be a very strange story, and I don’t expect you to believe me, and it might change everything, but I swear to you, this is what I believe to be the truth.”
Jaehwan scrunched up his eyebrows, confused, but nodded his assent. “I will always believe you. You’re my best friend,” he said. “That’s what friends do.”
He smiled at Taekwoon, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to believe his assurances, giving him a wary smile in return. He continued to play with his sleeves and started to chew on his lip. Jaehwan wished that he could reach out and touch him, sooth his worries, but that didn’t seem to be what Taekwoon needed at the moment.
“In 2011, I joined Jellyfish Entertainment as a trainee-”
Jaehwan’s eyes widened as he leaned forward, trying to get a closer look at Taekwoon’s face. “But-!”
“Please, don’t interrupt me,” Taekwoon said, rubbing his temples harshly, turning the skin a light pink. “Hakyeon doesn’t recognize me because I am 99% sure that that didn’t happen here.”
Jaehwan tried to puzzle through that statement and opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to formulate a response but remembering that he was asked to stay quiet. But no matter how he thought of that statement, it didn’t make sense.
“You know,” Taekwoon said, laughing wearily and rubbing a hand through his hair, “Saying that I lost my memory wasn’t exactly true. And before you get all mad at me, it is much more believable than saying that I somehow made it into a world where the timelines diverged sometime when I was a teenager and I never became a part of Vixx.”
The last sentence was expelled in a whoosh of air, but Jaehwan could only feel his muscles getting tighter as he clenched a fist into his jeans, rubbing the material roughly against his skin. He wanted to run as far away from the situation as he could, but his body wouldn’t let him, tense and immobile where he sat, his eyes fixed on the shadowed face of someone he (used to?) consider a friend.
“I know it sounds absolutely insane,” Taekwoon started again, clearing his throat several times as he stared at the corner of his bed, steadfastly avoiding Jaehwan’s eyes. “But I was part of Vixx for four years. We shared the title of main vocal. You were always the cute one,” he laughed hollowly. “I went through Mydol with all of you, I was one of the 6 members chosen, and then all of a sudden-”
“-Shut up,” Jaehwan said, fists still clenched as he glared at Taekwoon. His voice was low from anger, not even mustering up enough energy to yell. But there was enough venom in his voice that Taekwoon immediately shut up, still avoiding his gaze. A tear slowly trickled from his eye, not quite making it down half a cheek before it was swept away with a long sleeve.
“How dare you,” Jaehwan seethed. He got closer to Taekwoon and grabbed onto his wrist, twisting it so Taekwoon would look at him. “How dare you do this to me. I thought you were my friend! And yet-”
“And yet what, Jaehwan?” Taekwoon asked, finally raising his head and voice. “How do you think I feel? Do you know who my friends are? You. Just you. I have no friends because I woke up in this stupid body working a job I hated, literally having no idea who I am. Do you think I would jeopardize the friendship I have with the only person, besides my family, who matters to me?”
“I expected you to not be absolutely insane,” Jaehwan said back, voice rising along with Taekwoon’s. “I mean, what the fuck? What kind of idiot do you take me for? An alternate timeline? So what was the final goal, huh? Make me fall in love with you and then expose all my secrets to the media?”
“I wanted to be your friend again!” Taekwoon said, voice cracking on the final word. “You don’t understand how lonely it is to go from being a part of something and having people who care about you to having absolutely nothing, feeling like you’re going crazy, and having your body reject you. So no, Jaehwan, I wasn’t in it for the laughs. I became your friend because I missed you and there was no way I was going to let you go again.”
Silence followed as Jaehwan took in what Taekwoon said and examined his face, noticing the sadness in his eyes, hidden by the present rage.
“I loved you, you know?” Jaehwan said softly, not sure if he wanted Taekwoon to hear him or not. Taekwoon said nothing, just buried his face in his hands and rubbed at his eyes, very obviously covering up tears.
“I… need to leave,” Jaehwan said. He stood up and opened the door, not looking back to glance at Taekwoon, and he ignored the sharp intake of breath followed by a choked sob he heard coming from behind the door once it closed.
He was almost to the door when he heard a voice call to him.
“Oh, Jaehwan,” Taekwoon’s mom said, her voice surprised and happy, clearly not reading the mood that Jaehwan was in at the moment. “I thought you would be here a while longer.”
“Sorry Mrs. Jung, I was just leaving.”
“I feel like a bad host,” she said, “I didn’t even offer you any tea or snacks. You know,” she said, smiling at him, “I just brewed some tea. Would you like some?”
He couldn’t refuse her offer.
They sat in a companionable silence for several minutes as they sipped at their tea. “I’m glad you’re my son’s friend,” Taekwoon’s mom said, breaking the silence.
Jaehwan raised an eyebrow slightly as he looked up from his tea. “May I ask why?”
She gave a small smile before glancing to the side and fiddling with her necklace, an action so much like her son that it made Jaehwan’s heart ache. “A while ago, Taekwoon had an… accident, I guess would be the correct word. He told you, right?” she asked Jaehwan. He nodded slowly, trying to figure out where she was going with the statement. “It was a terrifying time for our whole family. He didn’t know where he was, didn’t know what he went to school to study, completely unaware of the job he had. We all feared that he had had a bad head injury that went unnoticed, but… nothing. The doctors found no sign of any trauma.”
There were a few moments of silence before Jaehwan spoke up. “But, he got better, right?”
Taekwoon’s mother sighed. “I don’t think so. He suffered in that job until he got accepted into school. And that was a shock to everyone. No one knew he wanted to study music. But, I think he is slowly becoming happier, and you are definitely helping with that,” she said, laying a hand over Jaehwan’s where it rested on the top of the table.
“I don’t think so,” Jaehwan said quietly, remembering the scene he had left behind in Taekwoon’s bedroom.
“Don’t underestimate yourself. He started smiling more around you, and ever since meeting you, he has slowly become the happy boy that used to be my son.”
Jaehwan stood up quickly, the chair scraping against the floor. “I… give me a minute. Excuse me,” he said, barely noticing her nod of acceptance as she stood up to clear away his tea cup.
Jaehwan’s mind was in turmoil, trying to process the information he just heard. He was so sure he did the right thing, yelling at him and getting as far away as he could, which, apparently, was not very far. He slapped a palm silently to his head and muttered “why?” when he noticed his feet had taken him right back to the door he had closed not even ten minutes ago. He paced back and forth for several minutes before he finally raised a hand and knocked on the door. There was no noise of movement from inside, so Jaehwan reached out a shaky hand and slowly pushed open the door.
“Mom, I’m not feeling well,” Taekwoon said quietly from where he was curled up on the bed, his back facing the door.
Jaehwan cleared his throat several times, finding it difficult to make a noise, his mouth and throat dry, before he finally spoke. “I’m not your mother.”
Taekwoon sat up quickly, whipping his head around to stare at Jaehwan, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. “What…?” he trailed off, not even blinking as he stared at Jaehwan, curling his arms around his body as Jaehwan took a step toward him.
“Now, it’s my turn to talk,” Jaehwan said, taking another step, and another step until he was finally in front of Taekwoon, close enough to reach a hand out and touch him, but he didn’t. “You just get to listen.”
Taekwoon nodded, staring up at Jaehwan’s face.
“I don’t know if I can believe your story, because it’s hard to believe and frankly impossible, but I do know that I care about you, and that you clearly care about me because why else would you even tell me? Don’t answer that,” Jaehwan said as Taekwoon opened his mouth. “I’ve always believed in the magic of people, and maybe you were brought here to make me happier or maybe you’re lying or just have an overactive imagination. But I know that since meeting you, I have become the best version of myself. So no matter what the truth is and no matter what I will believe in time, I know that I care about you and probably always will.”
Jaehwan finally exhaled, releasing all the breath that was gathering in his chest from the anxiety of the situation. He barely even noticed as Taekwoon stood up, but was all too aware as he came closer, chests nearly touching as his hands reached up to cup Jaehwan’s face. He pulled him even closer and Jaehwan just closed his eyes when their lips met, bringing his arms up to circle Taekwoon’s waist. It was a short kiss, and afterwards Taekwoon placed his arms around Jaehwan’s shoulders and tucked his face into his neck.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
--
Hakyeon noticed the strange mood Jaehwan was in the moment he stepped into their apartment.
“What’s wrong?” he asked while Jaehwan took off his shoes, his voice low so no one else would hear.
“God, it’s so messed up Hyung,” Jaehwan said, scrubbing a hand harshly over his face. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“Did he hurt you?” Hakyeon asked, bringing his arms up to touch Jaehwan’s shoulders, as if that would be able to tell him where he hurt. But Jaehwan just shook his head and took a small step backward.
“He kissed me. The me of yesterday would have been happy, but I’m not.”
“Jaehwan,” Hakyeon said voice soft.
“I’m going to bed,” Jaehwan cut him off before walking briskly to his room and slamming the door.
He crawled into bed without even taking off his clothes, knowing that he would regret going to sleep without washing his face, but he was so tired. When he was about to turn off the light, his phone made a soft buzzing noise, signaling an incoming message.
I was going to tell you, but tonight all of that… happened. I wrote us a song. Do you want to record it with me next week?
Jaehwan just stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, trying to formulate a reply, still unsure of himself and where they stood together. He finally typed out a response with shaking fingers.
Sure. I’ll let you know the details later, but we can record at my company. Wonshik can help.
Okay
--
“Why did you volunteer my services again?” Wonshik asked where the stood outside the building, waiting for Taekwoon to come. “You could have just as easily done this at the University.”
Jaehwan shook his head. “Things are kind of… awkward right now. I needed to not be alone with him, and hopefully you will act as a buffer in case anything happens.”
“What happened again?” Wonshik tried to prod, but Jaehwan just rolled his eyes.
“Nothing I am going to tell you. And I see him, so you need to shut your mouth, okay?”
Wonshik just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”
Jaehwan gave Taekwoon a tentative smile as he walked up to the pair by the door. He looked tired, but Jaehwan expected nothing less especially if he compared it to his own sleeping habits currently. They probably both looked a pair with their dark circles and drooping eyes. Taekwoon was wearing ripped jeans and a loose sweater looking the same as when they first met, and it made Jaehwan’s heart clench.
“It’s good to see you,” Taekwoon said softly, returning Jaehwan’s small smile. He turned to Wonshik, “Thank you for volunteering to help us. I have some money and am willing to pay you-”
“No,” both Jaehwan and Wonshik said at the same time. They glanced at each other before Wonshik continued. “No, you’re Jaehwan-hyung’s friend. You don’t need to pay me. I’m happy to help.”
Taekwoon stared at him for a moment before walking to the door. “Well, let’s get started then so we don’t take up too much of your time.”
Taekwoon pushed open the door and then started walking toward the studio before turning back, waiting for the other two to lead him to the studio that he shouldn’t know the location of.
“So, I have my external hard drive, we can just plug that in to your computer and work from there, lay the vocal tracks down,” Taekwoon said. “I already have a guide, it just needs to be recorded. Shouldn’t take too long.”
Wonshik shrugged. “Fine with me. I really am doing nothing except composing today, so I have all the time in the world. Just let me worry about the production aspects.”
Taekwoon gave him a small smile, “Thanks.”
Jaehwan clenched Taekwoon’s elbow as they walked in to the studio and went into the sound booth, Taekwoon snagging an extra pair of headphones to plug in so that he could hear the guide and Ravi’s instructions clearly.
“I hope you’re okay recording first,” Taekwoon said, glancing at Jaehwan as he stood by the microphone, adjusting the height slightly so it fell in the optimal singing position. “I kind of… want the song to be a surprise. I’ll do all the harmonies. I only made the guide for your parts anyway.”
“Why all the secrecy?” Jaehwan asked, eyeing Taekwoon. He just shrugged in response.
“I’m just… I want it to be perfect, you know?” he asked. “It means a lot to me and I don’t want you hearing an unfinished product.”
Jaehwan opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Wonshik’s voice over the headphones. “Just letting you both know, but I can hear you. Any mushy, private conversations will have to wait until I am far gone from this room.”
Jaehwan rolled his eyes and stuck up his middle finger, making sure Wonshik could see it clearly before pulling up a stool for Taekwoon to sit on.
The recording went smoothly, both Taekwoon and Wonshik stopping to give Jaehwan advice on better phrasing and emotions. But through all the technical production aspects, Jaehwan could feel the effect that another song written for him had, the beauty it held even just from hearing the first phrase he was to sing. It wasn’t long before his part was done to the satisfaction of Taekwoon and Wonshik.
“And now, you need to step out for an hour or so,” Taekwoon said, standing up from the stool and stretching his back from where he was hunched over for so long without back support.
“What? Why?” Jaaehwan asked. “You listened to all of my mistakes, I want to listen to yours too!” he pouted. Taekwoon just shook his head.
“This is technically a gift for you,” Taekwoon said, smiling slightly at the look on Jaehwan’s face. “You can hear it when it’s finished. And for that, I need an hour.”
Jaehwan pouted some more before finally relenting, dragging a hand across Taekwoon’s shoulder as he walked across the small room to open the heavy door, delighting in seeing Taekwoon shiver.
“This is some friend you have here,” Wonshik muttered to him as he walked by, grabbing his phone from the table he was sitting at.
“I’m going crazy,” Jaehwan muttered back as he passed him on his way to the door to the hallway.
“Good luck then,” Wonshik said back. Jaehwan just nodded as he closed the door.
“Now, it’s just you and me, hyung,” Wonshik said, pressing the button so Taekwoon could hear him. “What do you want to do first?”
Taekwoon hesitated slightly before answering. “Can we just… do the whole thing through once?”
Wonshik blinked. “Are you sure? That’s kind of…” he trailed off, still unsure on how to talk to Jaehwan’s friend.
“I know it will be more difficult for you when putting everything together,” Taekwoon acknowledged, “but I would be more comfortable just singing it from the beginning with Jaehwan’s vocals.”
Wonshik just sighed, but he complied. “Okay. We’ll try it once and then go from there.”
As the music started, the intro melody floating through the air, Wonshik realized that he had never heard Taekwoon sing before. As soon as Taekwoon opened his mouth to begin, Wonshik found a hand slowly rising to cover his mouth. Somehow, without hearing it even once, Taekwoon was able to perfectly sing and harmonize with Jaehwan, their vocal colors blending seamlessly. Wonshik didn’t even realize when the song came to an end, his brain on autopilot as he stopped the recording.
He pressed the button to talk to Taekwoon, his voice dryer and deeper than ever as he spoke. “Come out here and listen… it was beautiful.” The last part was said softly, almost in an afterthought murmured to himself, but Taekwoon gave a small smile as he heard.
“Was it okay?” Taekwoon asked, his voice soft. Wonshik nodded.
“Yeah, it was fine. You have a nice voice. You two work well together.” Wonshik didn’t know how to interpret the sad smile that came across Taekwoon’s face.
As they listened to the song, both of them made notes on what needed to be changed, and the next half an hour was spent chopping the initial recording and adding in improved sections. By the time Jaehwan had wandered back down to the studio, they had been finished for fifteen minutes.
Both men looked up when Jaehwan entered. He gave them both a small smile, but glared playfully and shook his head at Wonshik’s mouthed “marry him.” He made his way over to the couch to sit next to Taekwoon when his phone buzzed.
no seriously, marry him. i don’t know what you did to deserve him, but he wants you bad
Jaehwan raised an eyebrow at the message and glanced between Taekwoon and Wonshik before finally speaking. “So, can I hear my song now?”
Wonshik rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I see what you really came here for. Not even a thank you for your amazing friend and producer.”
“Just play it,” Jaehwan responded.
The music began and started calm, Jaehwan listening to his own voice and enjoying the song until Taekwoon’s voice joined him, effortlessly harmonizing. The more he listened, the more Jaehwan’s stomach dropped until he felt quite ill by the end of the song.
Taekwoon and Wonshik stared at him, both looking worried, wondering at Jaehwan’s reaction.
“Sorry, Wonshik, you need to go for a few minutes,” he said, not even taking his eyes off of Taekwoon’s face. He doesn’t really register when Wonshik closes the door with a soft click.
Taekwoon just stared at Jaehwan, trying to figure out what he was going to do.
“You know what, Taekwoon?” asked Jaehwan. “Fuck you. Why…” he started, trailing off and dragging a hair through his hair, biting his lip in frustration.
“Sorry,” Taekwoon said quietly, standing up. “I’ll-”
“I think I believe you,” Jaehwan said, cutting him off. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I do believe you.” Taekwoon stared at him with wide eyes, his mouth parted. “Of all the things in the world, the fact that our voices just combined to make that, that we… I don’t even know what I’m saying, but I can’t believe, that in any universe, we weren’t meant to sing together. How…” he looked up at Taekwoon. “We were meant to create music together, and I don’t know why this happened to you, I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything, but… I believe you.”
Taekwoon held a hand up to his mouth, tears shining in his eyes. “Are you serious?”
Jaehwan nodded, taking a step closer and nodding. “Yeah, I’m fucking serious. And if I’m crazy for believing you, then let’s just be crazy together,” he said before taking one last step to meet Taekwoon and reached out to kiss him.
--
“You guys have to be nice to him,” Jaehwan said, glaring at his members. “Taekwoon is sensitive and-”
“This is starting to sound familiar,” Hongbin said, cutting him off. “We’ve all met him before, remember? We had that awkward dinner together like six months ago. We were perfect- ow!” Hongbin complained as he was elbowed by Hakyeon. “Watch where you shove those things.”
It was the perfect moment for a “that’s what she said” joke courtesy of Jaehwan, but he kept silent, biting the skin around his finger nail.
“I… you’re meeting him as my boyfriend now. That’s a little more than just my friends meeting my friends,” said Jaehwan. “This means a lot to him. He feels really bad about how that dinner went.”
“He really loves you, Jaehwan-hyung,” Wonshik said, giving him a smile. Wonshik was the only member who had met Taekwoon more than once. Over the past several months, the two even met without Jaehwan as a buffer to drink coffee and discuss music. It made Jaehwan slightly jealous, but he was quick to fight the emotion down, knowing how important good relationships with the members was for Taekwoon.
“I know,” Jaehwan said. “And he’s almost here. He sent a text saying that he knows we ordered chicken, but he was stressing out so he made us all food. Looks like we’ll be having a feast tonight.”
“Why don’t you go down and meet him?” Hakyeon asked gently, steering the other members to the dining area. “We’ll set up the table.”
Jaehwan nodded and waved goodbye as he slipped on his shoes. As soon as he stepped off the elevator, he noticed his boyfriend walking through the doors of the building. Jaehwan grinned at him, raising an eyebrow at the many packages he was holding.
“You really shouldn’t have cooked this much,” Jaehwan said, taking some of the bags from his boyfriend. “We did order chicken.”
Taekwoon just smiled back. “I know, but I wanted to. I was a little nervous about meeting them again.”
Jaehwan laid the bags down on the floor of the elevator and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Everything will be fine. Wonshik already loves you, and Hakyeon loves you for how much you love me. It’s only the maknaes you need to win over, and that’s easy with food.”
Taekwoon smiled again. “Why do you think I cooked so much?”
They were laughing when Jaehwan opened the door, their shoulders brushing as they made their way inside, taking off their shoes and bringing the food to the kitchen.
“Hi everyone, I’m Taekwoon,” he said when they made their way to the table, giving the brightest, most genuine smile Jaehwan had ever seen on his face. “It’s nice to meet you. Again.”
As the members greeted him, some with more enthusiasm than others, Jaehwan smiled to himself, knowing that somehow, everything would be okay.
Notes: Thank you everyone who supported me on this fic. I may come out with another one, but who knows if it will be in 2 months or two years. This is officially the end of Leo and Ken’s story, though. If you want to chat, please message me here, or you can talk to me on my main vixx blog leothevixxn.
Hello everyone! So, I’ve been super busy recently. I got a new job and moved from Chicago to Guangzhou, so that was a bit of an adjustment. I don’t have as much free time anymore or days off, so writing is a little bit more difficult. I have, however, started the 3rd installment of Leo in a Strange Land series. I stopped working on it about 1.5 months ago, but I just opened it again today and am hoping to get some writing done. Expect me to upload that sometime in the next month.
Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me and to all the readers who enjoyed Heaven’s Helpers. I see notes about it occasionally and that really warms my heart.
Summary: Taekwoon co-owns a sex shop, Wonshik buys a toy, and everyone else loves to meddle.
Rating: Mature
Words: 6.7k
Also on AO3
“Seriously, Wonshik, it’s not the end of the world,” Jaehwan said in a high-pitched voice, making Wonshik cringe and hide his face again. “Besides, he was a complete douchebag. What kind of guy leaves after three years just because you got into grad school?”
“Don’t remind me,” Wonshik groaned, rubbing a hand over his eyes.
He had been dumped yesterday by his asshole boyfriend who decided that since Wonshik was now a grad student and TA, he would no longer have enough time to spend devoting himself completely to his boyfriend. He should have been happy that Wonshik had received a full tuition waiver by becoming a TA, and he could further his musical knowledge in a great university. Instead, he had packed up his things in their shared apartment and called Wonshik to say he was moving in with his brother, or other such nonsense.
“You just need to get over it and move on. Do you even know what you’re teaching tomorrow?” Jaehwan asked, prodding at Wonshik’s leg. When he shook his head, Jaehwan rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the arm, dragging Wonshik until he was completely standing, greasy face shining under the harsh lights of the coffee shop. “Come on, I know this hyung who can help. He owns this store called Heaven’s Helpers, ever heard of it?”
Wonshik shook his head and rolled his eyes at the name. “Are you really going to take me to a church outreach program, or whatever it is? Because I really just need to sleep for a day and cry after class tomorrow,” Wonshik said, moving his hand away from Jaehwan’s grip.
“Well,” Jaehwan said with a laugh, “it’s certainly a religious experience. The hyungs really helped me. Hakyeon is literally an angel in disguise, so he can help cure you of any funk you put yourself in.”
Wonshik just frowned at the way Jaehwan was smirking and turned his head. “You actually think they could help me?” he asked, trying to believe in his friend.
“Trust me, Wonshik. You’ll thank me later.”
--
Wonshik thought nothing of the blacked out windows when he walked up to Heaven’s Helpers. He just wasn’t paying attention where he was going until he got into the store and immediately spotted a wall of dildos.
I’m going to kill Jaehwan, he thought as he stood frozen in shock, the dildos seeming to grow in his vision as he hesitated on whether to continue into the store, or just leave. The decision was taken away from him when a man, slightly older than himself, walked up to him with a bright smile on his face.
“Hi, welcome to Heaven’s Helpers. How can I help you today?”
Wonshik swallowed a few times, trying to find words, before responding. “Um, I’m, sorry. I just broke up with my boyfriend and my friend Jaehwan said to come here-”
“You know Jaehwan?” the man asked, eyes shining brightly as he grabbed Wonshik’s hand and pulled him farther into the store. “I’m so happy to meet you. And wow, that sucks about the boyfriend. Were you together long?”
Normally, Wonshik didn’t like to expose his private life to complete strangers, but something about the vibrant man made him trust him.
“Three years. He moved out and called me to let me know we were done.”
The smiling man wasn’t smiling anymore, and instead patted Wonshik on the shoulder with a sympathetic look and just enough outrage.
“Well, you came to the right place,” he said. “My name is Hakyeon and I am the co-owner of this shop meant to pleasure anyone, especially those that broke up with their significant other and need a little extra boost to help get on with their lives. Now,” Hakyeon said as he grabbed Wonshik’s elbow and lead him closer to the wall of dildos, “what are you looking for? Are you looking to add to a collection, or start one?”
Wonshik still felt out of place, unsure of how to act in the situation. “I guess, start one? My boyfriend really just liked plain sex, nothing added to it.”
Hakyeon’s mouth was open slightly as he shook his head, making a small noise in his throat. “You really do need a toy to brighten up your day,” Hakyeon told him. “And I’ll give you a discount on anything you buy today, so don’t worry about price. You deserve the best.”
Wonshik gave him an awkward smile and turned his eyes back toward the wall of dildos. “It’s a little bit… daunting,” he said when he felt Hakyeon come up from behind him to stare at the wall as well.
“Well,” Hakyeon said, “one of the perks of owning a sex shop is that I can try out the product, so I can guarantee that anything you are looking at buying, I’ve either used myself, or with my boyfriend.”
“That’s… nice,” Wonshik finally decided to say after an awkward pause. Being friends with Jaehwan, he should be used to other people being very open about their sex life, but when it came from a stranger he honestly had no idea what to say.
“So,” Hakyeon said, clapping his hands together once, startling Wonshik, “what can I help you with? I was thinking a nice dildo to start with, have you ever used a vibrating dildo?” Wonshik shook his head, just trailing behind Hakyeon as he moved toward the intimidating wall.
“Well, we have a large variety of vibrators in this section over here,” he said, gesturing toward the wall. “Now the question is, would you like something life-like or colored? Do you want it with balls or without? Also would you like it to be smooth or with ridges? I’ve always found that ridges make it just a little more pleasurable as it drags past-”
“I’ll take this one,” Wonshik interrupted, grabbing the box closest to him on the shelf. Hakyeon stopped talking in surprise and glanced down at what he was holding, Wonshik following his eyes.
It wasn’t… too bad. It was a 7 inch, multi-speed vibrator in purple, not the first choice Wonshik would have made, but it was decent enough. It could have been a lot worse.
“Hmm,” Hakyeon said, taking a step back and glancing from the box, up to Wonshik’s face, and back down again. “It fits you,” he concluded, then proceeded to clap. Wonshik’s face started to burn.
“Hyung, could you… not? Please?” he asked, looking around the store, wildly embarrassed. It was an odd time of the day and the store was empty, but Wonshik expected that it was like that at any point during the day. He couldn’t imagine the store getting too many customers at the same time. There was no rush hour for sex toys, right?
“I’m just really happy to help out other people,” Hakyeon said, hands clasped over his heart. “Come on over to the register so Taekwoon-ie can check you out. Tell him to put in the employee discount code as well, okay? You deserve it.”
Wonshik whipped his head around and found the register, shocked to see someone sitting there, somehow missing him during his search earlier. The man looked bored with his earbuds in, chin resting on the counter in front of him, but he was handsome. His cheeks were smooshed slightly from his position leaning against the counter, and Wonshik wanted nothing more than to go over there and pinch them. In a sexy way, if that was possible.
Slowly, Wonshik made his way over, clutching the box with his vibrator in front of him. His palms started to sweat as he got closer to the counter from the tight grip he had on the box. He released a breath slowly and subtly wiped his hands one at a time on his pants, then put the vibrator on the counter in front of the man.
“Is this it for you today?” the man asked as he straightened up, plucking the earbuds out of his ears. His voice was soft, not at all what Wonshik expected, but he just nodded, not trusting his own voice.
“Oh, um, actually,” Wonshik said when his item was scanned, “Hakyeon-hyung told me to tell you to put the employee discount in?” His voice ended in a question, feeling a little uncomfortable asking, but not wanting to pay full price for a vibrator he wasn’t even planning on buying that day. “Is it too late to do that?”
The man just rolled his eyes, mumbling to himself as he punched something in to the register.
“What are you complaining about now, Taekwoon?” Hakyeon asked as he came over to the counter, slipping behind to nudge Taekwoon slightly. “Are you not happy to be checking out a customer? It’s his first sex toy ever, you know, and a friend of Jaehwan’s is a friend of ours.”
There was more nudging between the two that turned into more of a fight with elbows. “You’re friends with Jaehwan?” Taekwoon asked, breathless from the war going on between the two employees. “Why?”
With that, Hakyeon threw a hand over Taekwoon’s mouth, not even uncovering it when Taekwoon licked it and attempted to bite it.
“Sorry about him,” Hakyeon said, smiling toward Wonshik. “He just has a love-hate relationship with anyone that talks a lot. Everything Jaehwan says seems to hit him the wrong way. Besides,” he said, nuzzling Taekwoon, “he only likes me.”
“Oh,” Wonshik said, staring at the two, “is Taekwoon-hyung your boyfriend?” It kind of made sense that the two workers were together, especially seeing how they were acting. And Hakyeon did say that he tested all the toys with his boyfriend.
“Ew, no,” they said in tandem, leaning away from the other. Taekwoon’s face was disgusted, and Hakyeon mimed throwing up.
“I am happily in a long-term, committed relationship with my boyfriend, who is not Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said. “No, Taekwoon is very single and very willing to date other single men. Do you know anyone who’s interested?” he asked, staring at Wonshik with a smirk that was not appreciated. He was way too perceptive.
“Can I just pay for my vibrator and get out of here?” he asked, pulling out his card and handing it to the silent Taekwoon. His purchase was put into a discreet, black bag and handed over with a small smile, which he returned.
“Enjoy your vibrator!” Hakyeon shouted toward him as he made his way to the exit. In a fit of childishness, Wonshik stuck up his middle finger without even looking back, then walked out the door. For the twenty minutes that he was inside, he hadn’t thought of his ex-boyfriend once.
--
“Was Hakyeon able to help you?” Jaehwan asked the next time he saw Wonshik, a wide smile on his face. Wonshik aimed a kick in his direction and covered his eyes, groaning.
“Your solution for being dumped was for me to buy a dildo. Why are you such a bad friend?”
“Has it helped?” Jaehwan asked, taking a sip out of his drink and tilting his head as innocently as he could, messing around with his friend.
“I haven’t used it,” Wonshik said, “He took all our lube when he left and I haven’t gone to buy more. There’s no point.”
“Wonshik,” Jaehwan said, laying a hand on his friend’s arm. “How are you even going to masturbate properly if you don’t have any lube? Hand lotion?”
Wonshik just groaned again. “I’m too busy with school and teaching to even masturbate. And that woman at the store always gave me nasty looks when I would buy lube and condoms, so I hate buying them at the convenience store. I don’t want to make a special trip out somewhere to get supplies. I’ll just die pent up and frustrated.”
“No, Wonshik you can’t,” Jaehwan whined, pulling on his arm, “That’s exactly what He wants you to do, be alone and miserable forever. You need to fight back and the best way to do that is to fuck yourself using your dildo!”
Wonshik just stared at him. “Where do you even come up with these things?”
But Jaehwan wasn’t listening. “Ooh, I know!” he said excitedly. “You should go back to Heaven’s Helpers and get lube. Hakyeon-hyung told me that you were eyeing Taekwoon-ie, and you can chat-”
“Nope, no thanks,” Wonshik interrupted. “Also, what kind of friend gossips about me with the person I bought a vibrator from? And why are both of you such matchmakers? I don’t even know Taekwoon. For all I know, he could be a serial killer.”
Jaehwan just shook his head and stroked at his chin. “Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think you and Taekwoon would be a good match. He has his MA in piano performance, I think, and also something about organs? I wasn’t really paying attention, but he did study music in graduate school.”
“So what is a talented pianist doing working at a sex shop?” Wonshik asked.
“Look,” Jaehwan said, being serious for once in his life, “I love you and I want you to be happy. For all the joking, all I want is for you to find someone who deserves you, someone who can make you happy and can understand you when you talk about your passions. I don’t care if you find that person today, or ten years from now.”
Wonshik gave him a small smile, touched by his friend’s words.
“But if you do decide to date Taekwoon-ie, think about what he could do with those talented fingers.”
Wonshik punched him hard.
--
Against his better judgement, Wonshik found himself once again in front of Heaven’s Helpers, and what kind of name was that anyway? He shook his head at himself and took a deep breath before pushing open the door, walking in and trying not to be taken in by the wall of dildos. Again.
There were no customers in the store, but there was someone sitting on the counter, shaking a huge, lifelike dildo in the air, smiling to himself as it moved from side to side.
Wonshik cleared his throat slightly as he walked toward the counter and the boy turned to stare at him before waving at him with the dildo and shouting “Babe, you have a customer.”
Hakyeon came strolling out, large smile on his face that only got larger when he spotted Wonshik.
“Hongbin, this was the boy I was telling you about. Jaehwan’s friend?” he said as he leaned against the counter, hands going toward his boyfriend’s waist and pinching, causing him to squirm.
Hongbin nodded and smiled at Wonshik, dimples deep. “Hi, I’m Hongbin, this one’s boyfriend,” he said gesturing toward Hakyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Dildo?” he asked, pushing the huge dildo, and really it must be a full foot long, who could even use it, toward him. Wonshik took a full step back and shook his head.
“No, I… no.” He had no idea how to respond to that.
“Alright Hongbin, if you are going to scare my customers, you need to leave. You’re not good for business.”
Hongbin pouted, looking up coyly from beneath his lashes. “My face isn’t good for business? Am I not handsome?” He fluttered his lashes at his boyfriend, whose face melted at the sight.
“If you two are going to flirt, just leave,” a voice said from behind Wonshik. He startled, having not heard anyone come in after him. He turned and saw Taekwoon standing there, arms folded as he glared at the two by the counter. His cheeks and nose were a little pink from the wind, and it made him look adorable. Wonshik felt his own cheeks grow hot at that thought.
“Thanks hyung, will do,” Hongbin said, jumping up from the counter, grabbing Hakyeon’s hand and pulling him into the back office, not listening to Hakyeon’s protests that he had to work. There was loud chatting from the two for several moments until the door closed and the talking stopped. Wonshik assumed they were kissing, or something, back there.
“How do you like your vibrator?” Taekwoon asked suddenly. Wonshik turned toward him. “It’s nice, right? Whenever I just want a comfortable night, nothing too extreme, that model is usually what I use.”
Wonshik’s mouth opened slightly but no sound came out, so he closed it again and wet his lips, buying himself some time. His eyes caught Taekwoon watching his tongue as it poked out and his stomach tightened, feeling strange with the attention.
“Um, actually, that’s why I’m here,” he was finally able to say. “My ex took all our lube when he left me and, um, I actually don’t know why he did, or how he found all the bottles because we had, like, six different ones around our apartment, or I guess my apartment now, and… sorry,” he said, “I’m rambling.”
“No, it’s okay,” Taekwoon said, shaking his head. “And that sucks about your boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.” There was a beat of silence. “So you want to buy some lube? I can help with that.”
“Yes,” Wonshik said, a little too loudly, “I would appreciate that. Where…” he moved his head around, searching the store for where it could be.
“Follow me,” Taekwoon said as he started to walk away, going past the wall of dildos and to a corner of the room opposite the counter. “They used to be by the register so people would buy it as an after-thought, but Hakyeon ended up stocking up on way too many different kinds of lube, so now it has its own section.”
Wonshik looked at all the different brands on the shelf then turned toward Taekwoon helplessly.
Taekwoon smiled. “Yeah, it could be a bit overwhelming, but I’ve tried a lot of these, and what I haven’t Hakyeon and Hongbin have, so I can give you some good recommendations. With your toy you want to make sure it’s water based, and I always go for paraben free, and glycerin free, because that’s just safer and… here,” he finally said, passing Wonshik a box with flowers on it.
“This looks like a perfume box,” Wonshik said peering at it closely. “Really? Lulu Lube?”
Taekwoon gave a small laugh. “Yeah, really. You’d be surprised. It’s actually really nice. It works extremely well, which is exactly what you need when doing anything anal. It’s a favorite of mine when doing anything solo. When with a partner, I usually go flavored. Do you like watermelon?” Wonshik nodded slowly and Taekwoon handed him a clear bottle with a colored cap. “This is seriously great stuff. I love watermelon Wet Flavored lube. It tastes amazing.”
“You are very enthusiastic,” Wonshik said, still a little dazed at having so much information presented to him at once.
“Sorry,” Taekwoon said, rubbing at his nose a few times. “It’s just that when you own a sex shop, you have to get used to recommending things and being vocal about your favorites in order to make a sale. But I am very enthusiastic about flavored lube.”
Wonshik blinked. “I’m sorry, did you say that you owned this shop?” It was surprising, and somehow not something Jaehwan had mentioned when talking Taekwoon up to him.
“Yeah,” Taekwoon said, blushing. “Actually, I co-own it with Hakyeon. He convinced me to go in with him and we bought out the previous owner last year.”
They were silent for a few moments. Wonshik didn’t know what to say, and it seemed like Taekwoon was all out of words.
“I should probably buy these,” Wonshik finally said, gesturing to the two bottles of lube in his hand. Taekwoon nodded and beckoned him over with a hand.
“Yeah, let me ring you up.”
Taekwoon opened and closed his mouth several times when he was scanning and bagging his items, but chose to stay silent except to tell Wonshik his total.
“Um, thanks,” Wonshik said as he grabbed his bag and started heading out the door. He heard Taekwoon say a soft “bye” in return.
--
“Do you think it’s weird to ask my mom to send me my anal beads?” Jaehwan asked Wonshik one day when they were hanging out at a coffee shop. Wonshik was attempting to grade papers and Jaehwan was making a nuisance of himself, as usual. Wonshik almost spat up his coffee on his students’ papers, but managed to choke it down with a lot of effort.
“Excuse me?” he asked when he finally managed to calm down.
“I left my anal beads at my parents’ house last time I visited. I was looking forward to having a little me time yesterday but couldn’t find them. I’m pretty sure they’re in my bedside table in my old bedroom.”
“First of all,” Wonshik said, “why would you bring your anal beads with you when visiting your parents? And second of all, no, please don’t ask your mom to send you your anal beads.”
Jaehwan pouted and crossed his arms, glaring at Wonshik. “You’re so mean to me. Should I ask one of my brothers to get them instead?”
“Why are you so determined to embarrass yourself irreparably in front of a family member?”
“I’m horny,” Jaehwan whined, “and my dildo is boring. This is why it’s necessary to have at least two different kinds of toys so when you’re bored with one you use the other. Everyone knows that.”
Wonshik certainly did not know that, nor did he want to hear his friend complain for the next several days about it until he actually did ask someone in his family to ship them to him.
“Just go buy another set of beads,” Wonshik said, going back to the papers in front of him. “Get a bigger set than the one you were using for ‘extra fun,’” he said mockingly.
“You’re a genius, Kim Wonshik,” Jaehwan said a little too loudly as he slammed a palm on the table. “I’ll just go to Hakyeon’s store. Do you think he’ll give me a discount?”
“Sure,” Wonshik said, marking something on the paper in front of him. He looked up when he heard movement and saw that Jaehwan had stood up. “Wait, you’re going now?”
“No time like the present,” Jaehwan said, grabbing his mug to bring over to the counter.
“Wait a minute, will you?” Wonshik asked, gathering up the papers a little forcefully, crumpling the edges of a couple in his grip as he shoved them into his bag, throwing his pens in after them.
“You don’t have to come with, you know,” Jaehwan said, raising an eyebrow. “Unless there’s something you want there. Or someone,” he said, dragging out the word and wriggling his eyebrows at his friend. Wonshik just punched him in the shoulder.
“Shut up, I don’t even know Taekwoon.”
“But you want to,” Jaehwan teased, knocking their shoulders together.
“Maybe.”
--
“I’m here!” Jaehwan shouted as he opened the door to Heaven’s Helpers. “Someone come wait on me, I need advice on anal beads!” Wonshik groaned as he came in behind his friend, hiding his eyes behind his hand.
“Hakyeon!” Taekwoon’s voice said loudly from the counter, “your stupid friend is here. Please come get him before I commit homicide.”
“Aww, Taekwoon-ie,” Jaehwan pouted as he made his way to the register. “Why are you so mean to me? We’re friends too.”
Taekwoon slapped Jaehwan’s hand away as it came up to ruffle at his hair, barely avoiding the attack. He then turned to Wonshik and completely ignored the man trying his best to touch him. “Hi, Wonshik. Nice to see you again.”
“Hey, hyung,” Wonshik said shyly, giving him a small smile. He opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by Hakyeon bursting out of the back room looking a little rumpled, a large smile on his face. He attacked Jaehwan with a hug, bringing them both down to the floor.
“Jaehwan,” Hakyeon said dramatically as he sat up so he was straddling Jaehwan’s thighs, “it’s been too long.”
“Hyung, I need your help,” Jaehwan said where he was laying on the ground. “Wonshik was a meanie and wouldn’t let me ask my mom to send me my anal beads and now I don’t have a toy to play with.” He pouted, lips pursing and his eyebrows coming down in the middle, making him look utterly adorable. Hakyeon reached down to pinch his cheeks before getting off his legs, reaching a hand down to help him up.
“Well, follow Auntie Hakyeon and let me help you find something.”
Jaehwan and Hakyeon walked off, chatting and joking lightly as they examined every shelf, leaving Taekwoon and Wonshik by themselves at the counter.
“God, he’s unbelievably cute but just as annoying,” Taekwoon said as they watched them walk around the store. Wonshik turned to look at him.
“He’s single,” he said, gauging Taekwoon’s reaction and was happy when he saw Taekwoon’s nose scrunch up.
“Yeah, uh, no thanks,” Taekwoon said. “He’s, um, not my type.”
Their eyes met and both of them gave small smiles, Wonshik feeling his face heat up slightly and was happy to note a flush of pink across Taekwoon’s nose and cheeks.
“You, um, have something on your face, give me a second?” Wonshik asked, noticing a piece of dirt under Taekwoon’s eye, his hand already reaching out to take care of it. He tried to pick it off but it wasn’t coming off, so unthinkingly Wonshik licked his thumb and rubbed at it, only realizing what he did when he felt Taekwoon tense up.
“Oh, sorry,” Wonshik said, pulling back.
“Yeah, that’s a mole,” Taekwoon said as he reached a hand up to rub at the place Wonshik was just touching. “It won’t come off even with your spit,” he said, smiling slightly to show Wonshik he was just joking.
There was a minute of awkward silence that was filled with the sound of Jaehwan and Hakyeon talking very loudly about what size of anal beads would be best to buy, both going into too much detail about their own experience using them, and when Hakyeon started talking about Hongbin, Taekwoon scrunched up his face and turned to Wonshik.
“So, Wonshik, what do you do?” he asked, catching Wonshik’s attention. “Are you a student?”
“Oh, yeah!” Wonshik said, happy to talk about something else after embarrassing himself. “I’m getting my MA in music theory and composition, but I’m only in my first semester.”
“No way!” Taekwoon said, a smile breaking across his face. “I got my MA in piano performance!”
“I know,” Wonshik said, “Jaehwan told me. I was so excited because none of my friends outside of school know anything about music, well except Jaehwan but what does a musical theater major know about theory?”
“Exactly,” Taekwoon said. “Hakyeon got his BA in dance performance, but on a whim decided to get his MA in fermentation sciences. I still don’t know how he got accepted into the program, but my bet is on sleeping with the selection committee.”
Wonshik’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?” he asked. “Also, I didn’t know anyone could get a degree in fermentation. I thought you just inherited the business or something.”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes and gave a small smile. “I’m joking about sleeping with the committee, Hakyeon wouldn’t do that. And at that point he and Hongbin were already dating, and no matter how promiscuous the both of them may seem to be, they are completely monogamous and completely in love.” Taekwoon rolled his eyes again. “But enough about them. How are you liking school?”
The two of them talked for several more minutes while Jaehwan and Hakyeon were still doing whatever. Wonshik learned about Taekwoon’s love for coffee and piano and animals, and Taekwoon learned about Wonshik’s desire to be a composer for movie soundtracks, and the fact that the only instrument he can play with any talent is the oboe.
“Ew, why?” Taekwoon asked when he heard that piece of information.
Wonshik just shrugged and rubbed at the back of his head. “I liked the colorful string on the reeds.”
Eventually Jaehwan found “the most perfect anal beads in existence” and made his way back to the register. Hakyeon rang him up, chatting the whole time, and after 30 minutes, Wonshik and Jaehwan finally made their way out of the store, shouting a goodbye to Taekwoon and Hakyeon as they exited.
“Have fun talking to Taekwoon?” Jaehwan asked while they were waiting for the bus. Wonshik elbowed him in the side.
“Shut up.”
--
The thing is, Wonshik liked Taekwoon. He liked the way Taekwoon would smile at him when they agreed on something, or the way his cheeks would go slightly pink when their eyes met. He liked Taekwoon’s personality, but he really did not know how to ask him out.
Wonshik found himself going back to the sex shop one day after school, making sure to stop by a coffee shop on the way to get Taekwoon a latte. The look of delight Taekwoon had when Wonshik walked in and gave it to him stayed with him for hours.
“So, what are you doing here?” Taekwoon asked as he sipped at his coffee, his tongue playing with the straw every time he brought it to his mouth.
“Um,” Wonshik said, looking around frantically for some kind of excuse, “I am looking for a… butt plug?” His voice went up high with the end of the sentence.
Taekwoon raised an eyebrow. “A butt plug? You don’t sound too sure about that,” he teased before poking out his tongue again to wrap around the straw, making Wonshik’s face burn up.
“Yes, I am very sure,” Wonshik said, making sure to look Taekwoon in the eye, “I would like a butt plug.”
Taekwoon just shrugged and put down his coffee, gesturing for Wonshik to follow him.
“Now, have you ever used a butt plug before? Because if you haven’t, we’ll make sure to start small. Or you could even buy a set of three sizes in order to work your way up,” Taekwoon explained as his eyes scanned the shelf before reaching for a box and opening it to take out the product inside, holding it up.
“Here,” he said, handing the plug to Wonshik who handled it with trepidation. “This is a good plug to start as with a beginner. You don’t want anything too big, and silicone is always a good material to start with. You do not want your first butt plug to be made of glass, or stainless steel.”
“It… looks good,” Wonshik said, carefully handing the toy back to Taekwoon, who placed it back in the box.
“It is a really good toy,” Taekwoon said as he walked back to the register. “I used this when I was first learning the greatness of butt plugs. I’ve graduated a bit from this size, but it really was a nice size just starting out. Not too uncomfortable when inserted either.”
Wonshik flushed slightly as he tried not to imagine a younger Taekwoon, probably around college age, using the toy. He immediately squashed the thoughts that came up, trying not to flush in front of the man he was just imagining.
“I take it you enjoyed your vibrator?” Taekwoon asked as he rang up Wonshik’s newest purchase, sneakily putting in the employee discount with a few taps of his fingers.
Wonshik swallowed. The thing was, he hadn’t used it yet. He really was busy with school and teaching and composing and had no time to try out something different. But if it meant that he got to see Taekwoon some more, than he was willing to buy whatever he had to.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head, “it’s great.”
Taekwoon gave him a strange look that Wonshik couldn’t decipher, but just smiled and said “I’m glad,” before handing Wonshik his bag, fingers brushing slightly at the exchange, making Wonshik’s heart leap.
--
Wonshik went back two more times to the store and ended up with another butt plug, this one slightly larger, and a dildo with a suction cup on it. He really needed to stop buying toys, though. Every night he would just stare at the bags that sat in the corner of his bedroom near his closet. He hadn’t even opened the toys, but he was thinking about them, thinking about using them while thinking of Taekwoon. But every time he went over to pick something up, he just dropped it again, feeling strange.
He had nothing against sex toys, and nothing against sex in general, but he enjoyed being with people and the idea that he would be using a toy, and possibly thinking of his crush while using it, felt wrong somehow.
“I can’t go back there again,” Wonshik whined to Jaehwan from his place on his friend’s bed. “I now have four toys I don’t use and two bottles of lube that are still sealed, just gathering dust. Besides, I’m not made of money.”
Jaehwan just rolled his eyes from where he sat, spinning around in his chair. “Honestly Wonshik, just go confess to him. You’ve gone over there maybe once a week since I forced you to go the first time.”
Wonshik groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. “I can’t do that. What if he thinks I’m some kind of sex fiend?”
Jaehwan just laughed. “You think Taekwoon-hyung, someone who owns a sex shop, will think you’re a sex fiend? For owning four toys? Give me a break. You’re just making excuses. Besides, he’s best friends with Hakyeon-hyung, and let me tell you, I’ve been over to his and Hongbin’s apartment, and they own maybe 40 sex toys. They don’t hide that either.”
And that was a good point. Wonshik knew that Taekwoon wouldn’t care about the amount of sex toys he owned, or if he used his toys every night (or not). He just didn’t want to be rejected.
“Okay, next time I go there,” Wonshik said, sitting up and making a fist, “I will confess.”
“That’s the spirit,” Jaehwan said, grinning and giving him two thumbs up. “If you need any advice, just ask me.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Wonshik said, thinking of the last time Jaehwan had tried to help him with anything. And besides, Jaehwan was really bad at getting dates. And that was an understatement.
--
“Back again?” Taekwoon asked from his usual place at the register, smiling slightly at Wonshik when he walked up to the counter.
“Uh, yeah, hi,” Wonshik said, scratching at the back of his head. Taekwoon looked nice that day in an oversized cardigan, the sleeves slightly covering his palms. It was cute, which just made Wonshik more nervous.
“So what will it be today?” Taekwoon asked, looking up at Wonshik as a hand drummed on the table. “Need a bigger size of anything?”
“Um, yeah,” Wonshik decided. Taekwoon stared at him a moment before standing up and coming closer.
“You do realize I know you haven’t been using anything you bought, right?” Taekwoon asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Um, what?” Wonshik squeaked, his voice breaking slightly, and really he thought he was done with puberty; he’s too old for his voice to break like that.
“Well, you’re not exactly subtle,” Taekwoon said with a smile, taking a few steps closer before leaning against the counter.
“I’m not?” Wonshik asked, swallowing.
Taekwoon shook his head. “No. And I really hope I’m not getting the wrong idea, but do you want to go out someti-?”
“-Yes,” Wonshik said, a little too quickly, not even having to think about his answer. “I mean, yeah, that sounds great.”
Taekwoon held out his hand and Wonshik stared at it for a few seconds before looking up, confused.
“Your phone,” Taekwoon said, pushing his hand out further. “You’ve been coming here for over a month and have yet to ask me for my phone number, so I’m putting it in for you. That way you have no excuse.”
Wonshik reached into his back pocket and drew out his phone, slowly handing it to Taekwoon while opening it with a swipe of his thumb, then just stared at the man while he inputted his number, tongue sticking out to the side slightly. He was still staring when Taekwoon handed back the phone, accidentally making eye contact.
“Um, so, I’ll call you?” Wonshik asked hesitantly, giving him a shy smile.
Taekwoon nodded, and then shook his head. “Are you busy now?” he asked.
Wonshik blinked. “You’re working.”
Taekwoon shrugged. “Hakyeon owes me a lot, so he can handle taking care of the store by himself. The amount of times he has gone off with Hongbin on one of their weird dates and forced me to work when I had already worked 14 hours…”
“So, coffee?” Wonshik asked raising an eyebrow. Taekwoon grinned and nodded.
“Hakyeon!” Taekwoon shouted toward the back. “I’m going out with Wonshik. You need to cover the shop.”
There was a squeal from the back and then a loud thud, making Taekwoon roll his eyes. Hakyeon came running out, rubbing at his butt with a frown.
“You guys are going out?” he asked, looking between the two. “On a date?”
“No meddling,” Taekwoon said as he grabbed his keys from the counter and started heading toward the door. “And don’t text me at all about anything unless the shop burns down.”
“Got it,” Hakyeon said with a thumbs up.
“So,” Wonshik said as they were walking down the sidewalk, unsure of what to say. Somehow being out of the shop with Taekwoon felt different than when they were in the shop. A little more awkward.
“So,” Taekwoon said back, “we’ll go on this date, see how this whole thing goes,” he said, gesturing between the two, “and then maybe, if it all works out, we can finally use all those toys you bought.” He grinned.
Wonshik blushed bright red.
--
3 months later
“Out, out!” Hakyeon was shouting as Wonshik and Taekwoon walked into the store, holding hands. They glanced at each other and released a simultaneous sigh, both very used to Hakyeon’s eccentricities.
“I told you,” the boy arguing with Hakyeon said, crossing his arms and glaring down at Hakyeon, “I am old enough to buy toys, I have been for years. I’m 22, hyung. I’ve had sex before, even.”
Hakyeon shook his head. “No, you’re still a baby. I can’t sell to you.”
Taekwoon groaned. “Hakyeon, just let Sanghyuk buy something. He’s one of our most loyal customers and he hasn’t even bought anything yet. Because you won’t let him.”
Sanghyuk smiled at Taekwoon and winked at Wonshik, who just rolled his eyes and mimed stabbing himself, very used to their dynamic by this point.
“He should be playing with real toys, not sex toys,” Hakyeon whined, pouting at his friends standing in front of him for defending Sanghyuk.
“Seriously, Hakyeon, give it up,” Hongbin said from where he was sitting in the corner behind the counter, books and papers spread in front of him. “I’m trying to study and your complaining is giving me a headache. You know it’s finals time.”
“Don’t remind me,” Wonshik groaned, bringing a hand up to rub at his temple. Taekwoon gave him a sympathetic look and reached over, rubbing his shoulders for a few seconds. “I have to write my students’ final and still have to study for my own as well as finish this stupid song I’ve been working on. Why am I doing this again?”
Taekwoon squeezed his waist slightly, fingers digging in in a show of support and comfort.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Hakyeon said. “I’m dragging Hongbin out for a couple hours because he has been studying way too much recently and needs a break before he heads back to the lab tonight and abandons me. You know he chose overnight observations just to spite me.”
Hongbin rolled his eyes as he stood up, gathering his papers. “It’s only for two weeks. Come on, babe, let’s have some fun.”
“Bye, you three,” Hakyeon said as he gathered his coat and went out the door, gripping Hongbin’s hand tightly.
Wonshik had been back in his apartment for several hours when he received a text from his boyfriend.
Goodnight. Study hard, but don’t forget to rest. Love you.
Wonshik smiled.
Love you too. Sleep well.
He put down his phone and rubbed at his eyes slightly, tired but rejuvenated by the little act of support from his boyfriend.
“Okay, Wonshik,” he told himself, slapping his face slightly. “You’ve got this.”
He turned back to his computer, slipped his headphones back on, and got to work.
What did you think? I’m eventually going to add a sequel that looks at how Taekwoon and Hakyeon came to own a sex shop, as well as the Chabean relationship.
stay, little valentine: 14 wontaek drabbles for valentines day
14 drabbles under 214 words for cafe wontaek’s 3rd annual Valentine’s Day event. See original post HERE.
see drabbles under cut
1. Alone on Valentine’s Day (214 words)
Taekwoon sat against the wall at the ramen restaurant, huffing as he glared at all the couples giggling around mouthfuls of noodles. Singles deserved better than watching couples be couple-y on Valentine’s Day, and Taekwoon was over it already.
When his ramen came, and let’s face it, if he was alone on Valentine’s Day, he might as well order two bowls, Taekwoon dug in, steam heating his face against the chill of the opening door.
The man who walked in was tall, around Taekwoon’s own height, and the thing that made Taekwoon immediately like him was the fact that he didn’t come in with anyone. He did, however, sit next to Taekwoon, which was a negative.
“Girlfriend ditch you?” the man asked suddenly, staring at the two bowls in front of Taekwoon. Taekwoon just glared at him and pulled both bowls closer, making a show of eating a huge mouthful of noodles before turning his head away.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” the man said. “I’m Wonshik, who are you?”
“Taekwoon,” he mumbled around his noodles.
Wonshik smiled. “I figured, since we’re the only two singles in here, we should band together. Fight the masses.”
Taekwoon stared for a moment longer before passing his second bowl of noodles to Wonshik.
“I like how you think.”
2. A long-awaited return (214 words)
Taekwoon bit at the edges of his nails, tearing bits of skin off while he tapped his foot, concentrating hard on the doors in front of him. Wonshik had been gone for three weeks, working with artists in LA and helping with the recording of an album, and Taekwoon missed his husband. Immensely.
His plane had supposedly landed half an hour ago, but there was still no sign of any of the passengers making their way to baggage claim, and no text from Wonshik saying that he had made it through customs, even though he promised he would.
“Excuse me, sir,” he felt a tap on his shoulder accompanied by a deep voice. Taekwoon whipped around and through his arms around the man, clutching at his back.
“I’ve missed you,” Wonshik whispered in his ear, hugging him even tighter. “I recognized your back from across the airport. As soon as I spotted you, I power-walked over here.” He pulled back from Taekwoon and gave him a large smile. “Seriously, never again.”
Taekwoon nodded and sniffed a little, holding back his feelings at seeing his husband again. “Let’s get you home.”
He grabbed Wonshik’s hand and pulled him toward the exit. It took them two minutes to realize they left his luggage on the carousel.
3. Cupid & his target (213 words)
Wonshik has always believed in true love, and always believed that everyone deserves to find that one person who would make them happy for the rest of their life. Looking back on this now, that might be why he became a cupid upon his death.
“Jung Taekwoon,” Wonshik murmured to himself, squinting at the next name in his Cupid Book. “And he’s currently… in a bar. Good.” He teleported himself to the outside of the bar, making sure not be seen by any mortals, then quickly stepped inside.
Wonshik instantly zeroed in on the piano player playing the live music, his head bent forward to squint at the music in front of him. His immediate thought was that those cheekbones could kill a man, and his second thought was more than just a thought, it was an intense feeling he could almost drown in. Desire.
Without meaning to, Wonshik found his feet taking him to the bar, coming behind the man as he took a break for some water. His hand reached out on its own and gently touched Taekwoon’s shoulder, who jumped slightly as he turned.
“Hello?” he asked, his voice soft.
Wonshik licked his lips. “You-you play beautifully.”
“Thanks,” he received a shy smile in return.
I’m doomed, Wonshik thought. Doomed.
4. Arts and crafts together (212 words)
“Why did we decide this was a good idea again?” Taekwoon asked, his paintbrush in one hand and a glass filled to the top with wine in the other. He squinted at the person at the front of the room demonstrating how to mix the paint for the exact shade required for the leaves. Taekwoon looked back at his painting and sighed. His tree looked nothing like a tree.
“Come on, it’s fun!” Wonshik said, nudging him slightly with his elbow as he added a little more brown paint to the green. “Besides, it was my turn deciding what to do for our date night. I’ve missed art. I used to be quite good, you know?”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes and took up his paintbrush again, mixing the paint with his brush until the bristles were entirely soaked, making Wonshik wince.
“Taekwoon,” he started, grabbing his boyfriend’s wrist. “You’re doing it wrong. You’re only supposed to get the tip wet.” Wonshik stopped talking at the accidental innuendo. “Nevermind,” he mumbled to himself.
“Sorry,” Taekwoon said, taking a big gulp of wine. “I just suck.” He then proceeded to paint the worst leaves imaginable.
At the end of the date, when they were back home, Wonshik proudly hung both paintings on the wall.
5. Put your heart into it! Literally. (214 words)
“Are you ready?” Wonshik asked quietly as they stood, hand-in-hand, in front of the swinging doors of the hospital. Taekwoon nodded once, gaze determined as they strode inside, hands still firmly clasped. They walked up to the desk in the waiting room and stood, frozen, waiting for the nurse to notice them.
“How can I help you?” she asked, peering over her glasses at the two of them. They glanced at each other.
“Um…” Taekwoon started before gathering up his courage. “We are here for our appointment with Dr. Hwang for our half-heart transfer.”
The nurse nodded and called someone on the phone. It wasn’t long before a doctor came to see them. They both put on hospital gowns and sat quietly, still gripping hands, until the doctor came back in, carrying two clipboards.
“Now,” he said, “I know you have already signed a bunch of paperwork, but this is one last thing you have to go through before we can get on with the surgery.”
The doctor didn’t need to tell them twice before they read and signed the papers, hearts beating faster with thoughts of what was to come.
“I can’t wait for part of me to be with you forever,” Wonshik whispered to Taekwoon as they were fixed with IVs.
“Same.”
6. Accidental Valentines (211 words)
Somehow, every year since debut, they found themselves spending February 14th alone, together. Usually it was in the company building, where Wonshik would find Taekwoon in his own workroom, practicing the piano or composing, headphones secure around his head. One year it was in the dorm, when a bad snowstorm encouraged the two to stay inside while the other four had a schedule. They watched a movie together then went back to doing their own thing.
“Here,” Taekwoon said, thrusting a box toward Wonshik, who just looked at him over his laptop with a raised eyebrow. “This is for you.”
“You know it’s not my birthday until tomorrow, right Taekwoon-hyung?” he asked. “I mean, you’re not that old yet.”
Taekwoon’s cheeks just pinked and he put his hands in his pockets once Wonshik had grabbed the box. “Just open it.”
Wonshik did, pulling on the ribbon that was tied artfully, unlike anything Taekwoon could do normally. He opened the box and glanced up, confused.
“We’ve spent the past 5 Valentine’s Days accidentally spending time together without anyone else,” Taekwoon said toward the floor. “I figured I might as well…” he trailed off.
Wonshik just smiled and plopped a chocolate into his mouth.
“Sure, hyung,” Wonshik said, teasingly. “I’ll be your Valentine.”
7. A Valentine’s Day confession/proposal (214 words)
“Do you know what day it is today?” Wonshik asked Taekwoon as they were eating dinner. Whenever they had time, around their busy work schedules, they would try and cook and eat together.
“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Taekwoon deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“Yes,” Wonshik said, slapping at Taekwoon’s hand as he reached over for some of the food on his plate, “but it’s also our 2000th day together. Coincidentally.”
“Yes, I know,” Taekwoon said, raising an eyebrow. “And what’s your point? It’s just another day. We didn’t do anything for our 100th day, or our 500th day, or 1000th, or any other big milestones.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it, we suck. But come on, 2000 days is huge.”
“So what do you want to do?” Taekwoon asked. “We have, oh let’s see, 4 hours left in the day and we are both homebodies. We don’t like to do anything.”
“Let’s get married,” Wonshik said quickly.
Taekwoon just raised an eyebrow. “I think all the government buildings are closed by this point of the day.”
Wonshik blinked in surprise. “You aren’t going to say anything else?” he asked.
“No, let’s get married,” Taekwoon replied. “Obviously not today, but soon. Definitely soon.”
Wonshik leaned over and planted a kiss on Taekwoon’s lips.
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
8. Serenade Me, my Valentine (212 words)
“You know,” Wonshik said, linking his arm through Taekwoon’s as they walked through the door of their apartment building, “There are only, let’s see, 25 minutes left of Valentine’s Day, and I still have yet to hear you sing for me.”
Taekwoon brought up a hand and patted his cheek several times, the last one a little closer to a slap. “I never promised you anything like that.” He gripped the skin on his boyfriend’s cheek and tugged slightly. Wonshik retaliated by licking his hand.
“You said last night that you hadn’t bought me a gift for Valentine’s and that you would do whatever I wanted, and I want you to sing for me.”
Taekwoon groaned and unlinked their arms. “Can’t I just do that tomorrow?”
“Stop,” Wonshik said, slapping him lightly in the stomach. “Besides, tomorrow is my birthday and I expect a different present then. Come on, Taekwoon,” he said, staring at him in a jokingly sensual way as he licked his lips. “Serenade me.”
“Row, row, row your boat gently down the-” he was cut off by Wonshik’s lips and a strong tap to the side of his hip.
“Anything else,” he said, laughing. Taekwoon leaned in for one more kiss before starting again, this time getting it right.
9. A ruined Valentine’s day (214 words)
“What… is this?” Taekwoon asked, standing in their destroyed kitchen. There were pots and pans everywhere, and not an inch of the counter or table was clear. There was also an undefinable splat of some kind of food on the wall that used to be white, but now looked brown with how much it had smeared when it had attempted to have been wiped away.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” Wonshik replied from where he was, laying on the floor. “I really tried to clean this up before you got home, but then I got distracted and I couldn’t clean the stain off the walls and this is our new apartment and we won’t get our deposit back and then I started panicking and-” he cut himself off when Taekwoon sat on his stomach leaning forward for a kiss.
“It’s okay, Wonshik,” he said when he pulled back. “I’ll clean.”
“No, Taekwoon, it’s okay. I’ll clean it up. It’s Valentine’s Day and I was trying to make you dinner, and chocolate, because you always do all the cooking around here and you love chocolate, but I… suck,” Wonshik said, pouting. “Sorry.”
Taekwoon just leaned down for another kiss. “Come on,” he said. “Get up and I’ll order take-out. We can clean this all up later.”
10. A forbidden love (213 words)
The first time Kim Wonshik, high warlock of Jamsil-dong, laid eyes on Jung Taekwoon, he didn’t even notice the marks on his skin signifying he was a shadowhunter; he noticed his intense eyes and the strength in his body as he moved across the room, bow trained on a demon. Now that he thinks back on it, that probably should have given it away. And oh yeah, he found him ridiculously attractive.
Shadowhunters and warlocks, historically, didn’t get along. The shadowhunter community never approved of any downworlder, even if they worked with the clave without complaint. But Taekwoon, and his parabatai Hakyeon, and the other young adults in the Seoul institute didn’t seem to have the same prejudices as the older generation.
“Would you like to come over for drinks sometime?” Wonshik asked, having worked up the courage for weeks just to ask one simple question.
Taekwoon gave a small smile before glancing back at the other shadowhunters who were still cleaning the street of evidence of any battle that had just occurred.
“Yes… I would like that. But…”
“I understand,” Wonshik said. “For now, it’s a secret.”
Taekwoon gave him another smile, a little wider this time, and turned back to his duties. Wonshik grinned to himself as he portaled back home.
11. Secret love letters (214 words)
Taekwoon sighed when he looked in his locker, finding the 8th note that month stuffed between his notebook and his shoes. He grabbed it tight in his hand while he slipped on his shoes, making sure to toss it in the garbage on his way out of the school.
It’s not that he didn’t like Valentine’s Day, he just didn’t like secret admirers, thinking that people should just confess their love. Not that he ever would, as he was gay as anything and didn’t want to ask someone out and find out that they were straight and a douchebag who would then proceed to out him to the entire school. Besides, he just wanted to focus on playing soccer.
When Valentine’s Day actually came around, Taekwoon was very happy to find that there was nothing in his locker, even if he was a little upset there wasn’t any free chocolate from his admirer.
“Hey, Taekwoon-hyung,” a voice called from behind.
“Yeah?” he asked while turning, Wonshik coming up to him from behind.
“Here,” Wonshik said, thrusting out a small box. “I figured I should give these to you myself instead of just putting it in your locker. You like chocolate, right?”
Taekwoon nodded as he took the chocolates.
“So, are you free this Saturday?”
12. A very scary Valentine’s Day (213 words)
Wonshik knew he shouldn’t have let his friends convince him to do this. A night alone in an abandoned house was enough to make even the bravest of people wet their pants, and Wonshik was a coward. But, a promise was a promise and he couldn’t back out now.
The first four hours went by quickly. Wonshik played on his phone and ignored the creaking of the house, and the loud wind. However on the fifth hour mark, things started to go wrong.
It started with his phone suddenly going blank and restarting, which was accompanied by a soft voice singing. At first, Wonshik assumed it was coming from his phone, that he accidentally pressed play when fumbling his phone, but that thought quickly left his head when he remembered his phone was in the process of rebooting. That’s when he started to panic.
“Hello?” he asked warily, voice barely above a whisper. “Is anyone there?”
The singing stopped abruptly and after a few moments the soft voice spoke back. “Can you… can you hear me?”
“Yeah, where are you?”
Suddenly a form appeared in front of him, and Wonshik screamed, startling the man who just appeared.
“No, no, it’s okay, my name is Taekwoon. Who are you?”
“I’m Wonshik.”
The man smiled.
13. “Dance with me?” (214 words)
Wonshik held his hand out, a smirk set across his face.
“Dance with me?” he asked Taekwoon, who just rolled his eyes back into his head, snorting not so elegantly. But he stood up anyway, grabbing the hand.
“Just letting you know that if it wasn’t required by basically everyone here tonight,” Taekwoon started, grabbing onto Wonshik’s waist, “I would just stay seated here, sulking.”
Wonshik laughed before kissing him deeply, smirking at the slightly dazed look in Taekwoon’s eyes when he pulled back.
“Come on,” he said, leaning toward Taekwoon’s ear. “It is our wedding, after all. Our moms would kill us if we didn’t dance at least once.”
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Taekwoon asked before he leaned his head on the shoulder in front of him, both arms circling around his husband’s waist.
They stood there for a while, softly moving in time to the music. Eventually, other people joined them on the dance floor, their moves a little more excited than the newly married couple’s. After a few songs, they made their way off the dance floor and walked around the room, hand-in-hand, trying to thank all their guests for coming.
“One last dance?” Wonshik asked when their guests started leaving, the hour late.
Taekwoon smiled. “Of course.”
14. February 15th: The Aftermath (212 words)
“Who… are you?” Wonshik asked the man in his bed blankly. The last thing he remembered was his (ex-) girlfriend slapping him when he said he wasn’t planning on proposing to her, and she left him alone at the bar. At no point does he remember meeting this man.
The man gave him a soft smile. “My name’s Taekwoon. I figured you’d be a bit confused this morning, but I couldn’t just leave you alone when you were so drunk…” he trailed off and mumbled a bit.
“Did we… sleep together?” Wonshik asked, voice going a little high at the end. The man – Taekwoon – rubbed at his nose a little and grimaced.
“Yeah, sorry, I was pretty drunk too and I don’t think we made great decisions, but hopefully I can make this up to you?” he asked. “I made you food.”
“Thanks, I guess,” Wonshik said before he got his first good look of the man. He was handsome, and honestly exactly Wonshik’s type. He could tell why he decided to go home with him.
“You can stay, Taekwoon,” he spoke up suddenly. “We can get to know each other.”
Taekwoon left three days later with a new number programmed in his phone and a new boyfriend to call his own.
Loved writing these, hope you all enjoy them. Happy wontaek valentines.
“What are you going to do with the doorway to the other universe? Once it’s open what happens next?” Hakyeon asked, staring at the members as they sat around the table. It had been a few days since Hyuk announced he was going to do what no one had thought possible before, and there were still doubts going through everyone’s heads. “I mean, I’m in no way saying you shouldn’t do it, but what happens when it does open?”
Hyuk glanced at the other members who were looking anywhere but at him. Except Jaehwan who was bouncing up and down on his seat, a grin on his face as he stared at Hyuk.
“Look, hyung,” Hyuk started, running a hand through his hair. “This could take months to accomplish, maybe even years. My end goal is creating a rift so that we can tear into another universe. Whatever happens next is up to fate. Once all the science is done, isn’t that the only thing that’s left? Fate needs to intervene at some point.”
Hakyeon nodded slowly and was about to open his mouth when Jaehwan cut in. “Let’s go through.”
Hongbin let out a sharp laugh before cutting himself off, peering at Jaehwan’s face and realizing he was serious.
“Pardon?” Hakyeon asked. “I think I just heard you say that you want to go through to the other universe.”
All eyes were on Jaehwan now, just as he liked it. He shrugged.
“Look, guys, I’m bored and tired and want some excitement in my life. This whole process, figuring out what has been going on, sharing our deepest secrets, it’s been unimaginably fun. Maybe not for Binnie, but… what’s next? Do we just go back to our old lives and pretend none of this happened? Pretend we don’t have powers, or that we didn’t open up a gate to another universe?
“I’ve been thinking about it these past few days, and none of it makes sense. How did all six of us just happen to come together like this, having never met someone with powers before?” Jaehwan looked around the table, catching their eyes, making them focus on his words. “All of a sudden, the six of us are working together to travel to another universe. What possible purpose could all of this have had if we don’t follow through with what began so many months ago?”
“So it is fate,” Hakyeon said lowly, clenching his hands together on the table top. A shiver went down all six of their spines at the words, Hakyeon projecting more than he would like to admit. “We were meant to do this, meant to travel to another world.”
Jaehwan nodded enthusiastically, gesticulating wildly with his hands. “I have yet to contribute in any way using my powers during this whole endeavor, but I think my time is coming.”
“You’re adaptable,” Hyuk said, narrowing his eyes at his hyung. “You can scope out the universe and change your body to accommodate it, tell us if it’s okay to go through.”
There was a long silence as everyone thought that piece of information over.
Hakyeon took a deep breath, before letting it out. “And you are all… okay with this? Okay with leaving our world behind? Leaving behind this life we built and our friends and family? Our fans?”
Surprisingly, Wonshik was the first to speak.
“The music is changing, hyung. It has been for a while. I love my real family, and my friends, but a job is just a job and the most important thing to me in this world right now is us six. When we’re together, everything seems right.”
The words would have sounded cheesy coming from anyone else, but Wonshik was sincere in his gaze. Hakyeon glanced around the table and everyone else was nodding at Wonshik’s words, determination flooding their bodies as their eyes narrowed, imagining the next step in their lives.
“Alright,” Hyuk said, noting the change in atmosphere. “Let’s do this.”
--
Weeks had passed, promotions were finished, and no one was picking up new projects, gently turning down the company when any offers were put in front of them, stating that they needed a small break and time to focus on their next promotions, together as a group of six. The company was slightly unhappy, but allowed them that freedom; they had Gugudan to focus on now.
The energy within their dorm had changed, the air seemingly electric. Hyuk had taken up permanent residence at their dining table, with each day passing, his spine bending more and more. He wrote calculations at a frenzied rate, and had papers all over the table, making no sense to anyone but him. The only time he rested was when Hakyeon would put a literal calming hand on his shoulder, causing his shoulders to relax and spine to straighten, or when Taekwoon would bring out a plate of food and set it on top of the table firmly, disrupting his train of thought.
One day, when Wonshik was sitting at the table silently watching Hyuk, he interrupted his thought process, speaking softly.
“It’s almost time, Hyuk.”
Hyuk lifted his head, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “It’s only 9:50, and I don’t remember having any schedules today. I thought we were off this week.”
Wonshik just shook his head slightly. “No. It’s almost time,” he said, putting an emphasis on the word. “The music is changing of everything around us. The apartment looks different, and all of us are already shifting into something… more. It’s going to happen soon. You’re going to figure it out soon.”
Hyuk sucked in a sharp breath and then let it out, nodding his head. “Okay. You tell the others. Try to get them to visit their families and friends, say goodbye. I felt like I was getting close on all of this calculation work anyway and was going to start messing around with the technology and Hongbin’s brain to actually open the doorway in a couple of days.”
“You’re going to need to talk to your family as well, Hyuk,” Wonshik pointed out, placing a soft hand on his head as he walked around Hyuk’s chair. “I don’t think you’ve contacted them often at all these past few months.”
And he hadn’t. The last time he talked to his dad was when he was trying to get soldering tools, and he talked to his mom right after they came back with the song. He was so focused on trying to fix everyone, and then trying to open the portal that he ignored his family and friends.
Hyuk gave him a small, sad smile. “I’ll video call them tomorrow. I don’t have time to go to Daejeon, not now.”
Wonshik nodded. “Alright. Don’t work too hard. Please,” he added as he walked out of the room to go inform the members.
Hyuk just sighed and returned to the papers in front of him, searching for his pen.
--
Hakyeon went to Changwon to visit his family and spend some time with them, as it might be his last chance. When he returned to the dorm three days later, he locked himself in his room and didn’t emerge until the next night, his face slightly greasy and his eyes red and puffy. They had all heard him crying in there but knew he wouldn’t want to be interrupted; sometimes it was better to cry alone.
The other members, barring Hyuk, also visited their families, but only stayed for a night or two. Jaehwan wasn’t affected at all by the prospect of leaving, having already known that he would outlive his family and friends. It was something he had decided and come to terms with years ago, and even if he was leaving a little earlier than expected, nothing much was changing.
Hongbin was about the same as Jaehwan. He wasn’t too close to his parents and sisters, but after his visit to his grandmother, he came back with a hitch in his voice and a red nose, looking the same as Wonshik and Taekwoon after they made their way back to the dorm. No one was as bad as Hakyeon though, who seemed to be worrying about more than just leaving his family.
Hyuk still hadn’t called his family. His mom had texted him, asking how he was, and he just texted her back some kind of vague answer. He was too busy working to be distracted. Deep down, he knew that he would regret not talking to his family, not contacting them when everyone else had, but his work on opening the doorway came first.
“Now Hongbin-hyung, you’re going to need to put this on your head again while you sleep. I’m going to take some more accurate calculations of what’s actually happening in your brain, and then use that to see how much power you’re generating, then fix this thing I’ve been working on to harness that power. Understand?” Hyuk asked, holding up the EEG headpiece that was attached to a computer. Hongbin just rolled his eyes at him.
“Yes, of course I understand. I’m not an idiot.”
“Good,” Hyuk said playfully before fitting Hongbin with the EEG and turning off the lights of the room to help him get to sleep.
“Once you do this, once you get your calculations,” Hongbin said slowly once the lights were off and he should have been trying to fall asleep, “that’s it, right? You’re almost there.”
Hyuk nodded, knowing Hongbin couldn’t see him in the dark. “We’re almost there, hyung.”
It was silent for a few more minutes before Hongbin spoke up again. “I hope we end up in a universe where powers don’t exist.” His voice was tense as he spoke, and Hyuk gave a small, sad smile, understanding Hongbin perfectly.
“I don’t think it works that way, since you had powers to begin with and they wouldn’t disappear when we go somewhere else, but for your sake, I hope it does,” Hyuk said, silently wondering what would happen to him, if all of his knowledge and ability to retain it was left behind when they changed worlds. “We all love you and want you to be happy, hyung. I don’t think you’ve been happy for a long time.”
Hongbin snorted, but didn’t say anything for several minutes. Hyuk just stared at the computer screen running the data on Hongbin’s brain waves, waiting for them to change and indicate he was asleep.
“Thanks, Sanghyuk,” broke the silence, and Hyuk turned from the screen, squinting to see Hongbin’s face on the bed. His eyes were closed, but he was smiling slightly. “I don’t know how this all will turn out, but thank you for doing it.”
Hyuk didn’t reply, but he didn’t think Hongbin was expecting one either. The room was silent until Hongbin finally fell asleep, and Hyuk spent his night logging data and shaking his head in astonishment at the amount of energy Hongbin’s tiny body could produce.
--
“It’s done, I think,” Hyuk said two nights later at dinner time, when all of them were sitting at the table, Hyuk’s papers no longer crowding the surface, instead in neat piles in his own room.
The light chatter that was happening stopped, and everyone turned to Hyuk, eyes burning with determination.
“When do you want to do this?” Hakyeon asked, reaching a hand out to squeeze at Hyuk’s thigh in encouragement.
“Tomorrow afternoon will give us time to prepare whatever we need,” Taekwoon said, glancing around the table. “We could try then.”
There were nods as everyone agreed, but no one continued eating after the announcement.
They spent the night packing whatever they thought they would need into a backpack, deciding that traveling light was better than lugging around a suitcase if you had no idea what to expect. There was no real guarantee that they would even survive going to the other world, but their backpacks were a sign of hope they all held on to.
When the moment actually came and the device Hyuk had built was attached to wires which were attached to Hongbin’s head, similar to the EEG Hongbin had grown used to.
Jaehwan was ready with a rope wrapped around his waist. He was the first one to go through, as he would best be able to adapt to any situation he found himself in.
“Now remember,” Hakyeon said as he finished tying the rope securely, “when you tug once that means it’s safe and we’ll all follow you. If you shake the rope, we’ll start pulling you back in. And don’t go in too far as I really don’t want to lose you.”
Jaehwan rolled his eyes as he patted Hakyeon on the shoulder. “I know, hyung,” he said. “You told me a thousand times.”
Hakyeon just smoothed down the fabric gathered on Jaehwan’s shoulders and sighed, turning to give Hyuk a nod.
They all winced as they heard the squeaking noise coming from the machine as it was powered on. They turned to Hongbin who was grimacing, but clearly not too uncomfortable yet. He was laying down on the bed and had just taken a sleep aide, knowing he would never fall asleep on his own accord with all the thoughts floating through his brain.
“Once Hongbin falls asleep, it usually takes about 20 minutes for the energy to start building up,” Hyuk explained to the others as they waited around nervously. “Then a doorway should open up, and before you ask, I have no idea what it’ll look like, if we’d even be able to see it.”
Jaehwan tried to tell some jokes to lighten the mood, but everyone was too tense. Hongbin had eventually fallen asleep, and now it was only a waiting game.
The whirring of the machine Hyuk built got louder as the minutes went by, and Wonshik shied back from it, holding a hand over his eyes to shield them from the light.
“It’s here,” he said when they rushed to ask what was wrong. Hakyeon and Taekwoon grabbed a hold of his hands and supported his waist, trying to ground him as his head began to throb.
“Where is it?” Hyuk asked urgently, head moving around the room, trying to sense a change in the atmosphere, anything that would signify the doorway was there, but not seeing anything.
“It’s against the wall, to your right,” Wonshik replied, wincing as he opened his eyes. “I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to just walk right through the wall. It’s like it’s not there anymore.”
Jaehwan took a deep breath. “Right,” he said, picking up the rope that was hanging around his waist and passing it to Hakyeon. “You take this and don’t let go.”
Hakyeon nodded, wrapping the end of the rope around his hand several times before looking up and narrowing his eyes at Jaehwan.
“Go.”
Jaehwan turned around and strode up to the wall, casually putting his hand against it, a smile coming across his lips when it went straight through the wall. He looked back only once to flash everyone a grin before stepping through the wall fully and disappearing, the rope slowly unrolling and disappearing as Jaehwan walked further in, coming to a stop when the rope was taught, Hakyeon the only thing keeping him connected to this universe.
Everyone held their breath as they waited for the movement of the rope, waiting to see if it would be safe to enter. It was a tense minute of silence until Hakyeon felt a sharp tug on his wrist, pulling him forward unsteadily.
“Okay,” Hyuk said after a few seconds, exhaling sharply. “Okay.”
Hakyeon gave a small tug to the end of the rope, singling to Jaehwan that they would come through.
“Hyuk, you and Taekwoon should grab Hongbin, but make sure we’re all connected before going through. Got it?” He received to nods and then turned to Wonshik. “Grab my arm. I’ll help support you.”
Slowly, the walked toward the wall, passing the machine as it whirred on the floor, making Wonshik cringe again. Taekwoon came up behind them, supporting Hongbin unsteadily on his back. Hyuk was at the rear, holding onto Hongbin’s top lightly as he bent down and picked up the machine with one hand.
Hakyeon took one last look behind him, checking that everyone was safe and laughed slightly when he felt another tug at the rope. “Someone’s impatient,” he said, giving them a smile before dropping it as he turned back around, slowly stepping through the wall. One by one the followed, making sure to keep a hand on each other, gripping tight to make sure they don’t get lost along the way.
Hyuk was the last one through. He turned his head slightly, taking one last look at their apartment before he stepped through the wall, his hand holding the machine the last thing to pass through the wall.
The doorway closed.
--
KPOP Boyband still Missing!
Three weeks ago, 6 member Kpop boyband VIXX disappeared suddenly from their apartment in Seoul, South Korea. Authorities claim that they were not seen exiting their apartment, and it is still unknown whether they left willingly or not. Their passports have not been pinged at the airport, but after an exhausting three week search by both police and civilians, it seems like they are no longer in South Korea. Both fans of the group and the general public are reeling at this tragic turn of events, unsure of how to proceed with the grieving process. Their company released the following statement one week ago:
“We are devastated by this tragic event and are unsure with how to continue. All 6 boys were kind, honest, and hard-working, and we believe that they would never have left willingly. On behalf of the company, we are deeply sorry to all Starlights and the families of the boys and hope that we will see all six of them home safe soon.”
So far the parents of the boys have not released any statements.
article by: Carolyn Block
New York Times
So, that’s it! No plans to write more on this, but I really enjoyed researching it and writing it. Special thanks goes to Dr. Michio Kaku, whose informational youtube videos and articles on these topics helped me formulate the plot and all the science behind these theories. And yes, a lot of this science is accurate. If you would like to learn more about it, two great informational videos can be found HERE and HERE. Thanks for the support everyone!
Summary: Hongbin woke in his bed, choking on sea water. That was the moment that everything changed.
Rating: T
Words: 2.2k (this chapter)
Other chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Also on AO3
Chapter 5 - Planck Energy
The next few weeks were filled with the straining performances that came with a comeback, trying to divert attention away from Hongbin and Wonshik, and the soft timbre of Hyuk’s voice as he talked for hours on end in English on the phone to people he was keeping a secret from the rest of the members. They tried not to let it bother them too much, but seeing the way Hyuk flitted between agitation and elation while talking was difficult with no context.
“I need to leave for a few hours, hyung,” Hyuk whispered to Hakyeon when they returned to their apartment after an interview. It was already 9pm and unless it was Wonshik on his way to the studio, Hakyeon kept a tight leash on the members when it started to get late, especially with an early morning wake up time the next day.
Hakyeon sighed, rubbing at his temple, the stress of not only the day but the weeks since the revelation of his members’ troubles came out wearing down on him. “Can this not wait, Hyukie?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He nodded slowly to himself when Hyuk shook his head, giving a quiet “no.”
“May I ask where you’re going?” Hakyeon asked, crossing his arms slightly, trying to look stern but not quite pulling it off.
Hyuk gave a small laugh as he reached a hand back to scratch slightly at his neck. “Um… I need to pick something up from the Brain Science Institute at KIST.”
Hakyeon paused for a second, trying to process the words. “What could you possibly be getting from the Korean Institute of Science and Technology? And for that matter, someone is letting you take something from their research lab?”
“Hyung,” Hyuk said, laying a hand on his arm, “it’s to help Hongbin-hyung. I talked to a contact there and it took me a week, but I finally convinced her to let me borrow an EEG to test the electrical activity of Hongbin-hyung’s brain while he is dreaming. Hopefully, looking at the results can help me determine how to help him.”
Hakyeon was silent for a moment, searching Hyuk’s eyes for something. “Are you sure you can help him?” he asked, trying not to get his hopes up, but starting to see that there was a possibility of him getting better.
Hyuk nodded, eyes strong and determined, shining with a passion he only seemed to get when working on something to do with science these days. “I can do it. I think… I really think we’ve stumbled onto something big here, hyung. It’s what scientists have only been theorizing about for one hundred years, with no way to test their theories. It’s… simultaneously exhilarating and mentally exhausting.”
Hakyeon gave him a sad smile and nodded, reaching out his hands to rub down Hyuk’s upper arms in a soothing matter.
“Let me get my coat,” Hakyeon said, glaring slightly when Hyuk started to open his mouth in protest. “I’ll help you carry.”
--
“This feels weird,” Hongbin said when the final electrodes were pressed to his scalp, the multiple wires coming from his head making him look like some kind of cyborg, as Jaehwan had gleefully pointed out.
“I kind of wish we had used this look during Error. It’s hot!”
Jaehwan earned himself several slaps with that remark, but he only gave them a large pout before grinning, pleased with himself.
“I really don’t like all of you just staring at me,” Hongbin remarked, looking uncomfortable. “Can everyone but Hyukie please leave? I’m not here for your entertainment.”
“Hongbin, please,” Hakyeon said, reaching over to hold his hand, only to be shook off with a glare. He sighed.
“No, he’s right,” Hyuk said, glancing at the hyungs surrounding Hongbin’s bed. “I need you out of here, especially Hakyeon, as manipulating emotions when I’m trying to read the electrical happenings of a brain is not going to give me accurate results.”
Hakyeon pouted but nodded, grabbing Jaehwan by the wrist and pulling him away. Wonshik got up from the desk chair he had been perched on and went over to Hongbin, giving him a hug, careful to avoid the wires and electrodes hooked up to the computer.
“Taekwoonie-hyung, you should stay,” Hyuk said before he could escape. “Having someone who can read emotions will actually be very helpful to go along with my readings. And you won’t be able to interfere, as long as you have no contact with Hongbin-hyung.”
Both Hongbin and Taekwoon were silent as they finished watching Hyuk set up the EEG until there was a scraggly line moving across the screen of the computer, measuring Hongbin’s brain activity.
“I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be able to sleep with you two in the room and this thing on my head,” Hongbin said, laying down on his bed, stretching out his legs, scratching at his stomach slightly. “I have enough trouble falling asleep as it is.”
“It’ll be fine,” Hyuk said, sharing a look with Taekwoon and rolling his eyes. There were too many drama queens among the members, and everyone but Wonshik had no trouble falling asleep at night. Hyuk was proved right when not even 5 minutes later, Hongbin’s EEG showed that he was no longer awake.
“He’s probably only in stage two of sleep right now,” Hyuk whispered to Taekwoon, who was just staring at Hongbin, trying to read his emotions. “The brain waves haven’t slowed down enough yet. You’ll definitely notice a difference when he reaches stage 3 and 4; the waves start to get big and slow. When he starts dreaming, it will go back to looking like he’s awake.”
They waited a while longer, neither one speaking as Hyuk just stared at the screen, looking for the moment the graph changed, and Taekwoon stared at Hongbin, trying to feel the same thing.
“Hey hyung, look at this,” Hyuk called softly, breaking the staring contest Taekwoon was having with Hongbin’s body. “The waves have finally… hold on, this shouldn’t be happening,” he interrupted himself, looking at the waves change after just a few seconds of slow, delta waves. “What is going on?”
Taekwoon glanced at the screen and saw the waves happening at a higher frequency, but also having a high amplitude. “What does that mean?”
Hyuk just stared for a minute, reading the line as it went by him, the amplitude increasing by the second.
“It’s… not something that should happen. See how the peaks keep getting higher and… well, disappearing now, I guess. It means that somehow, Hongbin-hyung is using a lot, and I mean a lot of energy, so much so that the EEG is not capable of reading how much. And it keeps climbing. I’m assuming he’s astrally projecting himself somewhere right now, and the energy required is astronomical.”
They both turned to look at Hongbin as he lay on the bed, not giving anything away.
“His mind feel tense, almost afraid,” Taekwoon said after a minute, catching Hyuk’s attention, who looked away from the chart.
“The EEG stopped working, it can’t read the energy in Hongbin-hyung’s brain right now.” There was a moment of silence as they observed Hongbin again, unsure of what would happen if they tried to wake him.
“Taekwoonie-hyung,” Hyuk started slowly, turning in his chair to try and catch his eye. “I have an absolutely crazy theory, and I can’t believe I’m even going to say this.” He waited for Taekwoon’s complete attention before continuing. “Among physicists and other scientists who study the theory of parallel universes, there is a thought that when enough planck energy is used, and when I say enough, I mean 10^19billion electron volts of planck energy, which is an extremely, extremely high number, then that is the moment when gravity itself starts to break down. And not even gravity, but space/time begins to fail and become unstable. With this amount of energy and the breakdown of space/time, it is possible that gateways to parallel universes can open.”
Hyuk said all of that in one breath, voice getting hysteric toward the end as he became excited about the idea. “Like hyung, I think Hongbin-hyung is actually utilizing planck energy, which is the energy of the big bang by the way, and is using it to travel through time and space. He was talking about floating in space and seeing stars go out, and with a breakdown of gravity and time/space, that is actually a possibility.”
Taekwoon nodded, feeling the hysteria in Hyuk being held back by excitement. He observed the younger boy for a few seconds before leaning over and hugging him, dragging a hand through his hair.
“You did good, Hyukie,” he said, hugging him just a bit tighter before letting go, noticing the slight tears in his eyes.
“It’s just, hyung,” Hyuk said, swallowing a few times to get rid of the lump in his throat. “I can figure these things out, know what is happening to Wonshik-hyung and Hongbin-hyung, but that’s where it stops. I can’t fix their problem. The only thing I have done is advance my own knowledge of the world and parallel universe theories.”
“But still,” Taekwoon said, “You’ve done so much to help them already. You’ve been working harder than anyone to find a solution to Hongbin and Wonshik’s problem, and they really are greatful.”
Hyuk nodded, his chin drooping to his chest as he stared down at the floor. He always worked hard to improve on everything he did, even if he was able to pick something up naturally. He felt a big responsibility in the team to get things right and work harder than the others, which put a lot of pressure on his shoulders. He tried to do too much, and when something didn’t work out, he blamed himself.
“You should get some sleep, Hyuk,” Taekwoon said, reaching for his shoulders to push him out of the room. “You’ve worked hard today. You can tell everyone what you found out in the morning.”
Taekwoon’s eyes followed Hyuk until he was in his room and the door had closed between them.
--
“What are you planning on doing?” Hongbin asked Hyuk as he sat at a table in their dorm, books and papers spread over the entire surface. They were done with promotions for their most recent comeback, which meant some of them were less busy than others. Hyuk took advantage of his “time off” by digging deeper into the theories of alternate universes. He also asked the company if he could take four days off in order to travel to the US, and while there he met with Dr. Kaku, one of the foremost experts in the field.
“I don’t honestly know,” Hyuk said, rubbing at his temple, brow furrowed in pain. “I just want to understand everything I can. I’ve read and re-read everything on the subject, and I still don’t know what to do with the information.”
Hongbin sat on the other side of the table, across from Hyuk and just observed him as the maknae tortured himself trying to find a solution to Hongbin and Wonshik’s problem. He had been stressed for weeks, and the dark circles under his eyes were starting to look like Hongbin’s.
“Are you trying to actually open a door to another universe?” Hongbin asked curiously. “What are you planning on doing with all of this research?”
Hyuk stopped rubbing at his head and looked up, eyes wide.
“I… didn’t even consider that a possibility,” he said, hand coming up to rub at his nose slightly. “But now that you say it…” he trailed off, then began mumbling to himself.
After a few minutes, during which Hongbin had started playing around on his phone, Hyuk started to speak again. “Hongbin-hyung… we might be able to pull this off. We literally have all the pieces of the puzzle, we just need to put them together. Through Wonshik-hyung we have the ability to measure and see cosmic music, see how the bubble of this universe vibrates through interactions with other universes. Through you, we have planck energy that can break through time/space. If we could combine these two, we might actually be able to open a gateway to another universe!”
Hongbin just looked at Hyuk who had stood up at some point during his speech, his mouth open in wonder. He looked so passionate, the fire in his eyes more intense than any performance on stage.
“Can you do it?” Taekwoon asked from the doorway, startling the two at the table as the whipped around to stare at him. He had been drawn by the intense emotions coming from the two, and went to discover what was happening, catching most of Hyuk’s speech. “Can you do it, Hyukie?” he asked again, starting to walk toward the table.
“I-” Hyuk said, cutting himself off. He crossed his arms over his chest, almost hugging himself. He looked lost, face almost reverting back to when Taekwoon had first met him, as a kid of 17. He just looked so young.
“He can,” Hongbin said, coming around the table to put an arm around his shoulders. “There’s no one smarter than our Hyukie. If anyone can do it, he can.”
Hyuk didn’t smile at the compliment, but he nodded to himself, determination rising.
“I can do it,” he said, staring Taekwoon, and then Hongbin in the eyes. “I’m going to open a gateway to another universe.”
Summary: Hongbin woke in his bed, choking on seawater. That was the moment that everything changed.
Rating: T
Word Count: 2.2k (this chapter)
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Also on AO3
Chapter 4 - The Mind of God
They were making a comeback soon, so the six of them spent a lot of time in the practice room, trying to perfect their dancing, or work on their individual singing parts. The atmosphere between them was still tense, but in a different way. Everyone was worried about Hongbin and Wonshik, keeping an eye out for them to make sure they didn’t collapse in the middle of practice as both of them had been getting little to no sleep. Hongbin kept waking up choking on water, covered in blood, or unable to breathe due to lack of oxygen. Each astral projection left him more and more tired, his once vibrant eyes dimming down to nothing.
Wonshik was the same, barely there when dancing, seeming to focus only when the members were talking to him, otherwise he was focused on music no one else could see. Hakyeon told the members to stick close to him, give him something familiar to focus on, something that made him comfortable. Wonshik hadn’t noticed, but he was always with someone except when he was in the shower.
“Hyung,” Hongbin said quietly as he pulled Hakyeon aside, latching onto his forearm. “I don’t think I can do this.”
Hakyeon nodded a little, looking into Hongbin’s eyes to try and read his mental state. “I know, Hongbin, but you need to. I can’t just tell the company to give you a break without a reason, and I don’t think they’ll believe the real reason.”
“Hyung, you don’t understand,” Hongbin said, his voice breaking. “I don’t know if I’m even travelling on earth anymore. Hyuk was talking about black holes yesterday during break, and I’m pretty sure I was in space last night, being pulled into the nothingness of a black hole. I couldn’t breathe.” His breath was coming quicker as he started to panic, one of his constant states as of late. He often had to seek out Hakyeon to artificially calm him down, as he couldn’t control his own emotions.
“It’s going to be okay, Hongbin,” Hakyeon said, taking his hands into his own, linking their fingers together. “We’ll start trying different things tonight to get you a good night’s sleep. I think your lack of real sleep at night is starting to affect your waking mindset. You’re exhausted. You and Wonshik both. And the stress of our comeback isn’t helping.”
Hongbin just leaned his head onto Hakyeon’s shoulder and closed his eyes, putting an arm around his waist to stabilize himself.
“I just want this to be over,” Hongbin said. “I don’t care if I lose this power forever, I just want to sleep, to feel like myself again.”
Hakyeon didn’t respond and just reached a hand up to card his fingers through Hongbin’s hair, his eyes coming up to meet the worried eyes of his members. He gave them a tight smile and a nod, his eyes telling them to get back to work.
--
A few days later, one of the managers came into the practice room with a large box, which he dropped on the floor by the door. The box clanged a little when it hit the ground, making the members look over from where they were monitoring their dance.
“Hyuk, this is for you. I’m pretty sure it’s from your dad,” the manager said before walking out the door again. The members glanced at Hyuk as he stood up, a wide grin on his face as he went over to the box and opened it.
“Alright!” Hyuk exclaimed as he took out several of the items from the box, examining each one carefully as he laid them on the floor.
“What, exactly, is this?” Jaehwan asked, wandering over and picking up something that looked like a metal pen with a plastic handle. He turned it in his hand and tried to figure it out before Hyuk grabbed it and put it back in the box.
“It’s a soldering iron,” Hyuk said, pushing the box back toward the door. “I asked my dad to send me one. He has, like, fifteen of them, so it was just easier than buying a new one.”
The members exchanged glances. “But why would you need one?” Jaehwan asked, a puzzled look on his face.
“Clearly, I want to solder something. My dad sent some wires and small sheets of metal as well, so I won’t have to go and buy any of it in the store. The benefits of having a dad who makes furniture.”
“You’re really not answering my question,” Jaehwan said, raising an eyebrow at Hyuk who just smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, I have an idea that might help Wonshik-hyung with his problem. I don’t know if it will work yet, but I’m going to try out making something with the soldering materials, and if that works, making a larger model at some welding factory, if they will let me. But for now,” Hyuk said, gesturing to the box by the door, “this is all I have to work with.”
Wonshik looked up at Hyuk and licked his lips a few times to try and bring moisture back into his mouth. “What will you make?” he asked, his eyes trying to focus on Hyuk, but they slid back to the box quickly, as if he could see right through it.
“I’m going to try and make a machine that can sense what you can see, can play the music out loud for everyone to hear instead of for just you.”
The members exchanged glances over Hyuk’s head as he dug his hand through the box, looking at what his dad sent him.
“Can you… I mean is it actually possible to do that?” Hakyeon asked, looking at Hyuk like he had never seen him before.
“Do you not trust me?” Hyuk asked with a smirk, daring Hakyeon to answer, but knowing that Hakyeon loved him too much to say anything about his doubts. He was, after all, a child that Hakyeon had practically raised himself, even if Hyuk would disagree on that point.
Hakyeon shook his head. “No, I trust you. Just… make sure it doesn’t cut into practice time, okay? And be careful.”
Hyuk nodded his head and stood up, pushing the box to the side of the room, intent to bring it back to their dorm on his way out.
--
“Okay, everyone,” Hyuk said two weeks later as they sat down to eat, exhausted from their comeback and constant schedules. He had told everyone that they were eating together that night, as they needed to talk. No one was in a pleasant mood, all cranky and tired. “I think I figured out what Wonshik-hyung was seeing. As you know, I’ve been tinkering with-”
“I’m sorry, what?” Jaehwan asked, putting up a hand to stop Hyuk from speaking more. “You did what?”
Hyuk just looked around the table and rolled his eyes at the slack jaws of his hyungs. “I’m pretty sure I figured out what was going on with Wonshik-hyung. Have you ever heard of cosmic music?” Seeing them shake their heads, Hyuk sighed and said under his breath “this is going to be a long explanation.”
“Do you remember when we were talking about string theory weeks ago?” He waited for the nods of acknowledgement. “Well, there is a theory that the universe is like a bubble. There are an infinite number of universes out there, each one different from the next, and they all float around in an 11 dimension hyperspace. Our universe was formed when two bubbles collided or split apart, commonly thought of as the big bang.”
He looked around the room and most of them had stopped eating and were nodding along, perhaps not understanding his explanation so far, but following well enough.
“So this multiverse theory also says that these bubbles, or p-branes, vibrate, creating the music of the universe, which resonates through 11 dimensional hyperspace.”
Hongbin had narrowed his eyes, glancing at Hyuk. “And you think Wonshik can sense this music? See it?”
Hyuk nodded and glanced at Wonshik. “It would make sense that he’s seeing music that others can’t, and it goes beyond our three dimensions, and possible even the fourth dimension, he’s literally seeing subatomic particles. Plus,” he glanced at Wonshik again, “we were doing some experiments and...”
“He created instruments that echoed what I saw, in music form,” Wonshik cut in, glancing around the table, his eyes alert.
“I don’t think you guys understand how big this is,” Hyuk said, voice going high and squeaky, starting to freak out. “I’ve been vibrating with energy all day. Wonshik-hyung is literally seeing the Mind of God.”
“Sanghyuk,” Taekwoon said, laying a hand on the youngest’s arm. “You need to calm yourself. You’re hyperventilating.”
Hyuk turned his head. “I really can’t. You guys don’t understand. The Mind of God is the theory of everything, and cosmic music proves that there is something to this theory, that these vibrations and music provide an explanation for everything existing, just like what Einstein was searching for.”
Hakyeon scratched at his chest slightly before glancing around the table and seeing the slightly glazed looks of the other members. “Can you explain what you mean, Hyukie?”
Hyuk sighed, but continued. “Einstein spent a lot of his life searching for the Mind of God, a theory that would connect all physical laws, and he failed. But with string theory and with cosmic music of subatomic particles, we are so close to unlocking the mysteries of not only this universe, but every other universe that exists and we cannot reach. And with Wonshik-hyung being able to see them, we’re so close to the Mind of God.”
There was a gleam in his eyes as he looked around the table, catching gazes and staring at his members, trying to make them see how important what he discovered was.
“The most important part,” Wonshik piped up in support of Hyuk, “is that Hyuk now has the capability to sense these vibrations and cosmic music, something that no other scientist has been able to do.”
Hyuk just smirked at them and shrugged his shoulders, leaning back in his chair.
“I’m a genius.”
--
“Do you think you’ll be able to help me too?” Hongbin asked Hyuk when they were alone later that night, both taking a break from playing a game. The light of the computers reflected off the bags under Hongbin’s eyes, more prominent than ever. He was exhausted from lack of sleep and travelling and schedules.
Hyuk looked at him, staring him in the eyes, looking at his haunted gaze from multiple events that could never be unseen. “I’ll try, but Hyung, you need to help me. I know you are keeping things from us, trying to shield how bad this is for you, but a scientist needs all the data, not just assumed facts and half-truths. I need to know exactly where you have been travelling.”
Hongbin nodded his head and sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I’ve seen the ocean, drifted through the deep sea and woke up choking on water. I’ve seen war, had my face and clothes splattered with blood as someone was shot from a distance. I’ve floated through space, seen several stars go out and woken up with a large pressure in my brain, unable to breathe. I’ve-”
“Hold on,” Hyuk said, raising a hand to motion Hongbin to stop talking. “You saw several stars go out. Was it in the same dream, or travel or whatever?”
Hongbin nodded his head.
“And were you racing through space, or were you stationary when you saw this happen?” Hyuk asked, voice going high as he got excited.
“Nothing looked to be moving,” Hongbin said, “I’m pretty sure I was in one place. But things seemed to change around me slightly.”
Hyuk laughed and rubbed his nose slightly, mouth open and eyes crinkling.
“Hongbin-hyung,” Hyuk said, smiling at him, “The possibility of seeing two stars go out within a short time while staying in one spot is impossible. Well, not exactly impossible, but extremely improbable. Hyung, I’m pretty sure you travelled through space and time.”
Hongbin just sat there and raised an eyebrow, not as excited as Hyuk was for the revelation.
“And what does that mean for me?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Well,” Hyuk said, “nothing. But maybe by understanding the science behind this, you could control it and stop travelling during the night. I need to do some research and brush up on my English; I might need to make a trip to New York to talk to an expert, but we’ll see what I can find out from papers.”
Hyuk continued mumbling to himself, listing names of articles and books he would need, completely ignoring Hongbin until he spoke up.
“And in the meantime, what about me?”
Hyuk glanced at Hongbin, realizing he was still there and shrugged. “Just keep doing what you are doing. But isn’t it cool? You might have actually travelled through time and space.”
Hongbin shook his head and wrapped his arms around his middle, giving himself comfort.
“I don’t care about any of that,” he said. “I just want my life back.”
Summary: Hongbin woke in his bed, choking on seawater. That was the moment that everything changed.
Rating: T
Words: 2.8k (this chapter)
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Also on AO3
Hakyeon awoke to Taekwoon shaking his shoulder, hand gentle as he knelt down to be at his level.
“I hung up the sheets and clothes,” Taekwoon said, looking at Hakyeon closely. “I tried to wake you up earlier, because no one should sleep sitting like you were, but you wouldn’t wake.”
Hakyeon just nodded and grabbed Taekwoon’s hand to pull himself up, stumbling slightly at the change in altitude, his vision going black for a moment.
“Are you okay?” Taekwoon asked, gripping Hakyeon’s arms tightly. Hakyeon nodded, running a hand through his disheveled hair to try and put it back in order.
“Hongbin had another dream, or whatever they are, last night. I don’t know exactly what happened, but he woke up with blood all over him. He assured me it wasn’t his,” Hakyeon said quickly when he noticed the look in Taekwoon’s eyes, “but something bad must have happened. I… don’t think he’s okay.”
Taekwoon stared at Hakyeon’s eyes for a while longer, feeling the worry coming off of Hakyeon’s body, but just nodded.
“Okay. That’s… fine. We’ll figure this out.” They were silent for a few moments, just looking at each other, each with heavy bags under their eyes and quivering lips. “When will we tell everyone?”
Hakyeon let out a deep sigh and shrugged his shoulders. “We all need to make an appearance at the company today. I have a schedule I need to leave for in a few hours, but I should be done around 5 or 6. I’ll send out a message when I finish and tell everyone to finish up and be home soon for dinner. We can have chicken, or something.”
“So, in 12 hours, or so.”
Hakyeon groaned and looked around for his phone. “Is it really that early?” he asked when he couldn’t find it. At Taekwoon’s nod he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Okay. I’m going to go shower. Just… Thank you, Taekwoon.” He walked quickly from the room, leaving Taekwoon to stare at his retreating back.
--
They sat silently around the table, eating the chicken Hakyeon had picked up for them on the way back from his schedule. Hyuk ate the most, not worried about the conversation to come, while Hongbin and Hakyeon barely picked at their food. The tension at the table was palpable, and it was making everyone uncomfortable.
“Hey, I…” Hakyeon trailed off, unsure of how to begin, but he successfully garnered the attention of everyone at the table, so he just swallowed his fear and continued on. “You have probably noticed that there has been some… tension the past week or so. I think we all need to have a chat. About what’s been bothering us. Now, this is mainly about what Taekwoon, Hongbin, and I have to say, but I’ve noticed all 6 of us have been off, so just… we’re trusting you with our secrets, so you should trust us. Understand?”
There were nods around the table, so Hakyeon just glanced toward Hongbin and nodded slowly. Hongbin took a deep breath and began to speak.
“Almost two weeks ago, I woke up from a dream. I was floating in the water, and it was peaceful, not a bad dream, but I woke up coughing up the ocean. Don’t interrupt. Please,” he said, holding up a hand when he noticed Jaehwan open his mouth. “Somehow, part of what I was dreaming, whatever it was, traveled back with me. I’ve been travelling over the astral plain for almost my entire life, but this was different. It was real. And last night I… woke up, covered in blood. It wasn’t mine.”
Hongbin didn’t look up, not wanting to see the faces of his friends staring at him in revulsion, or that they thought he was crazy. But he looked up when Wonshik spoke.
“What can I do to help?”
Wonshik’s eyes were focused, locked on to Hongbin, without a single doubt clouding him that Hongbin could sense. He slowly glanced toward Taekwoon, who gave him a nod, silently telling Hongbin that Wonshik was alright.
“I…” Hongbin trailed off, not sure how to answer the question. “You believe me?”
Wonshik nodded, his palms flat on the table as he stared at Hongbin intently. Hongbin broke his gaze, not used to the intensity, and glanced at Jaehwan and Hyuk. Jaehwan was shrugging and his lips had started to form into a smile as he leaned forward. Hyuk was staring at the table, muttering to himself while tapping his fingers. Neither of them looked as if they thought he was crazy.
“Why?” Hongbin asked. If someone had told him they had magic, or whatever this was, he would have never believed them.
“I trust you,” Wonshik said, “besides, it’s not as if you are the only one.”
Hakyeon whipped his head around to stare at Wonshik. “You know about me and Taekwoon?” he asked, surprised.
Wonshik nodded slowly. “Well, I knew about you, but that wasn’t who I was talking about.”
Jaehwan laughed slightly, his smile wider than ever as he looked at Wonshik. “You too, huh?” he asked. When Wonshik nodded Jaehwan reached over for a high-five. “Same.”
“Do you know how unreal this is?” Hyuk asked, causing everyone to look over at him in apprehension. “In all my life, I don’t think I’ve come across another person with superpowers, or magic, or whatever this is, but here we are, 6 of us all gathered together. The probability is infinitesimal.”
“You…” Hongbin said, trailing off. “What the hell is going on? How could this even happen?” He was starting to panic. Throughout this entire day, from when he woke up with blood on him, through practice, through working out, he was worried about what would become of the team and their relationships when they heard the truth. Never in his life did he imagine they would all be the same. He started to hyperventilate before he felt himself fall to an unnatural level of calm.
“Stop manipulating my emotions!” Hongbin said, whipping around to glare at Hakyeon, who just smiled and held up his hands.
“Manipulating is such a strong word,” he said before trying to continue, but he was cut off by Hongbin.
“And yet, that’s exactly what you do. All the time.”
The two of them stared at each other for several moments, neither wanting to give up, before Hyuk cut in.
“So, Hongbin-hyung travels astrally, and actually, and Hakyeon-hyung is an empath of sorts. What about the rest of you? I’m assuming Taekwoon-hyung is an empath as well, because of his aversion to public space.”
Taekwoon nodded once everyone looked at him. “Yeah,” he said, “I feel emotions of the people around me. Hyuk, you…” he trailed off questioningly, looking at the youngest who was just shifting in his seat.
“Yeah, it’s kind of difficult to explain,” Hyuk said, looking around to make sure everyone was paying attention. The hyungs always paid attention to what he said, though, so just looking was unnecessary. “It didn’t even register to me that what I was doing was something supernatural, and I’m still not convinced that it is. But, I remember things. Everything I read, I understand it completely. When learning something, it doesn’t take me any time at all to ingrain it in my mind and be able to put it into practice. It happened with all my schoolwork, and dancing as well. I just… know things. Somehow.”
Something clicked for Taekwoon with that. “That’s why you know so much about science and the theories behind alternate realities, isn’t it?”
Hyuk nodded. “Science is fascinating and a field that is constantly expanding with many new discoveries. It’s wild how much is still unknown. I think what attracts me to it is that so much of science is untestable, or people have theories but we don’t yet have the technology to see if what they are saying is accurate or not. Physics, engineering, and astronomy are my favorites.” He got a wistful look on his face, staring slightly above everyone’s heads.
“So why are you an idol then?” Hongbin asked, his arms crossed at his chest. “If you like science so much, why aren’t you studying that instead of working full time as a singer?”
Hyuk just shrugged. “Science is interesting, but it will always be there. I’m too young for anyone in the science community to take me seriously anyway. I became an idol to bide my time, make some money on my own before spending other people’s money to make discoveries about space, or whatever I decide to do.
“So this is all a joke for you then?” Hongbin asked, furious at what Hyuk said. Hongbin had longed for years to have a beautiful singing voice; he worked hard and fought to get where he was, doubting if he could even make it as an idol. But Hyuk was doing all of this for fun, as something to bide his time with before he got to a good enough age to get a start in the science community.
“No,” Hyuk said firmly, voice trying to show the members his sincerity. “It might have started off as just something to do, that I wanted but wasn’t serious about, but it has become something I strive to do my best in, and strive to succeed in. There is no turning back now. I don’t know where we’ll be in 10 years, but if we are all doing our own thing, occasionally putting out group stuff, or… I just don’t know. When this has all ended, that’s when I’ll become a scientist. I’ve grown uselessly attached to all 5 of you.”
“That’s a good plan, Hyuk-ie,” Hakyeon said, giving him a small smile. Hyuk just smiled back before glancing toward the two who had yet to reveal their powers.
“Alright,” Jaehwan said. “I guess I’m next.”
“You know,” Hyuk said, squinting his eyes at Jaehwan. “Everyone else had given hints, or we could tell something was wrong with them. I wasn’t surprised at all to hear that Wonshik-hyung had powers, or Hongbin-hyung. But you haven’t given anything away. You’ve been the same as always.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m in total control of my own abilities?” Jaehwan asked, raising an eyebrow at the others. Hongbin stuck out his tongue in response, to which Jaehwan only laughed. “Kidding. I mimic animals.”
There were a few moments of silence before Hakyeon slowly nodded. “We know you do. We’ve heard you. And?”
Jaehwan just looked around at their puzzled faces before shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath. “You don’t get it. Sorry. I can actually mimic the abilities of animals. When I was younger, I liked panthers, and I used to jump like them, like, all the time. I didn’t know that people couldn’t do that. And then I could do other things too. I once had a test the next day and I hadn’t studied at all, so I wished myself a brain like an octopus and quickly learned what I needed to for the test. I aced it, by the way,” he said, looking at their faces.
“When people think of animals, they always think of the warm bloods, common animals like dogs and cats, or things you see at the zoo. No one ever remembers the cold blooded animals, or animals who live under the sea. And that’s kind of disappointing, because that’s where all the interesting abilities show up. I can blend in to my surroundings like a chameleon, or reproduce asexually through parthenogenesis. I can even take on the characteristics of a sea turtle or clam, and live much longer than a human can. And I will. I’ve done all my research and am constantly looking for ways to improve my body, or animals that can help me achieve a certain goal.”
While Jaehwan was talking, the members were just staring at him. Their mouths had parted slightly as they took in what he was saying, trying to understand his ability.
“How long have you been planning out your life?” Hakyeon asked, curious. From what Jaehwan was saying, it sounded like he had figured out how his life was going to go without having lived it yet.
“Once I figured out the extent of my abilities,” Jaehwan said, catching Hakyeon’s eyes, “or rather, lack of limits, I did as much research on animals as I could. And the more I read, the more convinced I was that I could use their abilities to improve my life long-term, rather than for short-term benefits. All I need to do is a little research on how something works within the animal’s body, and then wish to mimic it with my own.” His eyes were shining, palms flat on the table, bracing against his excitement. “I’m going to live a long time, guys. And I cannot wait.”
Jaehwan was smiling broadly at the end of his speech, eyes glittering with ambition. Taekwoon could feel the overpowering sense of achievement and pride coming from his body as he sat, watching the other members’ reaction to what he said.
“Won’t you get lonely?” Hakyeon asked hesitantly, looking at Jaehwan with sad eyes. “Living a long time, seeing your friends die, won’t you be lonely at the end?”
Jaehwan just shrugged, looking Hakyeon in the eye. “Who knows. Besides, some animals are solitary creatures, I could just take that characteristic. Or just make new friends. Sure, I’ll be sad when the people I love are gone, but why limit myself to living a normal, mortal lifespan when I can do, and be so much more?”
No one had anything to say to that except Wonshik, who just mumbled to himself.
“Jealous,” he said, staring at his hands.
“So your power isn’t being immortal?” Jaehwan asked, looking at Wonshik. “I guess I assumed because you talk about it so often, living forever and creating a beautiful world with the people you love.”
Wonshik just shook his head, still staring at his hands. “I see music.”
There was a pause.
“What, exactly, does that entail?” Hyuk asked slowly, trying to wrap his mind around that statement.
“It means,” Wonshik said, staring at something above their heads, “that I see people’s music floating around them, and in them. The song that makes them who they are. With changes of moods, songs change. Everyone has something different, something just inherently them.”
Something clicked for Hongbin. “Is that why you are always staring off into space, not looking directly at people? You are trying to avoid understanding their music?”
It made sense, that Wonshik was avoiding people when the music got too overwhelming, but he just shook his head slightly at Hongbin’s question.
“Not… exactly,” Wonshik said, scratching at his arm and still not looking at anyone. “I used to write down everyone’s music, make lines of music that represent different people, but the more I work, the stronger I become.” He stopped talking for a few seconds and twitched as he tried to gather his thoughts. “It used to be just humans and animals that had music, but… I don’t know. Now I see music all around me. Literally everything has music. Trees, cars, rocks. The air. I’m, I don’t know. I can’t focus on anything, or I focus on everything. I know your music so intimately, so you five are comfortable, but everything else is a struggle. I’m going insane more and more each day.”
Hongbin reached a hand over and gripped Wonshik’s knee, trying to give him comfort. Everyone else’s powers had settled and they were comfortable with how to use them, but the two of them were struggling, slowly going out of their mind at the changes that were happening to them.
“Everyone, it’s going to be alright,” Hakyeon said, putting will into his words, trying to make everyone believe that everything would be fine. “We’re going to stick together as a group, no matter what. When two of our members are hurting, we need to do what we can to help them.”
Hongbin saw Hyuk and Jaehwan nod, determined to help. Hyuk already seemed to be calculating something as his eyes darted back and forth for something only he could see. It looked like he was trying to figure something out that he didn’t quite understand yet.
“I’m not sure what you can do,” Wonshik said, “as even I don’t understand what’s happening to me. What can you do that I can’t?” he asked. His words were spat out a little forcefully, but Hakyeon knew he didn’t mean it in that way.
“First of all,” Hakyeon said, “I’m going to give everyone a hug.” He stood from the table and walked to Wonshik first, giving him a long hug, breathing in the scent of his hair. He moved onto Hongbin next, pulling him tightly against his chest, heart breaking when he heard him sniffle into his shoulder. Hyuk and Jaehwan got similar hugs, but Hakyeon stopped in front of Taekwoon and waited for him to give permission before hugging him as well. The two eldest clung to each other for a short time, trying to regulate their feelings of helplessness before turning back to the group.
“I’m going to help all of you,” Hakyeon said, staring at their eyes, his own blazing. “I promise.”
Summary: Hongbin woke in his bed, choking on sea water. That was the moment that everything changed.
Rating: T
Words: 2.4k (this chapter)
Previous chapters: Chapter 1
Also on AO3
Chapter 2: Tension
“What happened?” Wonshik murmured to Hongbin several days later, when everyone else had gone to bed. Hongbin was up late, sitting on the couch and trying to do anything to not fall asleep. Wonshik had just come in, his eyes carrying a gaze that didn’t seem to quite focus on anything in the room, until it zoomed in on Hongbin. But that was normal for him. Hongbin had long suspected that there was something wrong with Wonshik’s eyes, but he didn’t dare bring it up with him. Wonshik could avoid that topic quite easily.
“What do you mean?” Hongbin asked back, just as quiet as Wonshik’s question had been. Wonshik’s eyes were wide as they stared into Hongbin’s, his facial expressions concealed, but he exuded a calming presence.
“Something’s changed, between you and the oldest hyungs. But it’s effecting you more,” Hongbin started chewing on his lip at the observation, “and I want to know what it is.”
Hongbin was silent. He and Wonshik had been friends since before debut. Ever since Wonshik joined Jellyfish, they were never separated. They told each other things and talked about things that they didn’t dare bring up with the older members, and wouldn’t even dream of bringing up to Hyuk. They had a bond, and the only secret Hongbin kept from him, was the one Wonshik was asking for.
“I-” Hongbin started after several more moments of silence before cutting himself off. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Wonshik.”
Wonshik’s eyes had glazed over slightly as he seemed to stare at something that wasn’t there. Hongbin had seen this look too many times to count, so he just kept silent, waiting for Wonshik to focus again. When he did, and the far-away look in his eyes returned to normal, he just nodded once and reached over to pat Hongbin on the arm.
“Okay,” he said before standing up, making sure his gaze didn’t leave Hongbin’s face. “But just so you know, something did change between you three, and I might be the only one who noticed, but they’re worried about you. And extremely tense. And you’re frightened of something, and I think they know that. So, just, please talk to them. To ease my mind as well as your own.”
Wonshik was still staring at him, but Hongbin wasn’t staring back, his fists had curled up on his legs, and they didn’t seem to want to unfurl.
“When did you get so perceptive?” Hongbin asked, murmuring toward his fists.
“I’m not,” Wonshik said, his tone firm, and it sounded strange to Hongbin’s ears. He looked up from his hands and saw Wonshik still staring at his face, but his eyes were vacant again, staring at something that wasn’t there. “It’s just… you’re different. And I don’t think you realize that, but the winds have shifted and your tune is changing. I don’t care that you’re keeping secrets, but just… don’t let what you’re keeping inside effect you. You’re stronger than that.”
Wonshik’s speech seemed off to Hongbin, like he was supposed to catch something, focus on a certain phrase or word that would give a hint about what Wonshik knew, or what he could sense, but he just didn’t know what it was. He talked as flowery as ever, working with his words to both explain and calm, as he usually did, and Hongbin couldn’t find any fault in that, anything that was different from the norm.
“I’m sorry,” Hongbin whispered, staring at Wonshik’s still unfocused eyes. But Wonshik just smiled at him and shook his head.
“Don’t be sorry. Some secrets are better kept close, where they can’t hurt anyone.” Hongbin sucked in a quick breath at that, slightly startled by Wonshik’s words. “Besides, I trust you.”
And Hongbin didn’t know what to say to that.
--
There were two more days of tense smiles and trying to convey emotions with eyes, and by then even Jaehwan and Hyuk had noticed something was off. Jaehwan became a comforting presence to them all, something about just being beside him, sitting with him and playing with his hair, or just playing with him, watching him bounce around was calming, releasing the tension that Hongbin had felt in his shoulders for a week.
Where Jaehwan was comforting in his almost silence, Hyuk was comforting in the way he spoke about anything, bringing up obscure scientific theories and forcing the members to debate on the existence of alternate realities, or the way the stars affect who someone is as a person. It made the members actually talk to each other in a controlled way, avoiding the topic of actual tension.
“I mean, people have always debated the multiverse, whether alternate realities exist or not, and it’s almost impossible to test right now because we can only see 4 dimensions, well, three plus time, and for it to work out we’d need at least 11, which is impossible right now. But, because the universe is constantly expanding, universes expand into other universes which expand into other universes, and these universes could have very different rules and expectations than ours-”
“What are you even talking about?” Hongbin asked, looking at the faces of the others in the room. Everyone was staring at Hyuk with their mouths slightly open, not entirely comprehending what he was saying. Hyuk just glanced at their faces and sighed.
“Do none of you understand the basics behind alternate realities, universes, and string theory?” he asked. They just shrugged. Hakyeon held up his finger and thumb, showing that he understood a little.
“I mean, I read a lot of sci-fi,” Hakyeon said, wiping his palms lightly on his jeans as he looked at everyone. “String theory, as a basic explanation, is that every particle in the world is like a one dimensional string that forms a circle by connecting the ends. They vibrate, and this accounts for gravity. Through movement, the string also has its own dimension within the circle. Something like that, right?”
Taekwoon and Wonshik were shaking their heads, not quite understanding, but Jaehwan seemed to get what Hakyeon was saying and was nodding while he scratched the side of his nose.
“It’s kind of like that,” Hyuk said. “But it’s easier to think of it like bubbles. Each universe is on the skin of a bubble, and many bubbles exist in this thing called hyperspace. When bubbles collide, and then split and reform, this is what’s called a big bang. That’s how our universe was created.”
“Where do you even learn this stuff?” Hongbin asked, looking at Hyuk with wide eyes. “I mean, you’re studying kpop at university. And you’re rarely on the computer except to play games.”
“You’re one to talk about playing games,” Hyuk snarked back before shrugging. “I read a lot about science. I’ve learned some things over the years.”
Taekwoon felt the guilt rolling off of Hyuk as strongly, as if he was slapped in the face. He took a deep breath to calm himself, to get in touch with his own emotions and not be overwhelmed with what Hyuk was feeling. Besides, what Hyuk was feeling didn’t make any sense. He shouldn’t have to feel guilty for knowing a lot about science, for being interested in something.
Wonshik was also looking at Hyuk, but his eyes were once again unfocused, not quite seeing him, instead seeing through something that didn’t seem to be there. “You’ll tell us one day,” Wonshik said as he stood up, dragging a hand slowly through Hyuk’s hair. “Now, I’m going to go lie down. Excuse me.”
Everyone watched Wonshik go. It wasn’t unusual for him to leave when he had something to work on, or when Hakyeon forced him to get some sleep, but his eyes were unfocused and he stumbled slightly as he bumped into a wall on his way out of the room. They sat in silence until the door to his and Hyuk’s room closed.
“Is anyone going to talk to him about what’s wrong?” Jaehwan asked, looking around at everyone, “Because all of you have been strange recently, and I’m not sure if I should trust you to confront him, or if I should do it myself.”
“His blankness has been getting worse,” Hongbin said quietly, half-hoping that no one would hear him, but Jaehwan nodded, scratching slightly at his arm.
“He used to only be like this occasionally, but more often than not nowadays, he’s staring at nothing,” Jaehwan said, making sure to catch everyone’s eyes so that they knew he was serious. “I would think it’s a drug problem, but we are with him constantly and he wouldn’t jeopardize the group like that. What I want to know,” he said, pointing a finger at Hakyeon, “is why you haven’t done anything yet.”
Hakyeon winced slightly, but he sent out a calm wave to those sitting in the room still. Taekwoon felt the change of atmosphere while he watched the tension leak out of Jaehwan’s shoulders. Hongbin glared at Hakyeon when he noticed the change.
“I’ve just been… busy with my own problems recently,” Hakyeon said. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
“No,” Jaehwan said, quieter than it would have been without Hakyeon’s calming effect, but still a little louder than a normal speaking voice. “What you need to do is hash out whatever the fuck is happening between you, Taekwoon-hyung, and Hongbin. Because it’s gone on for way too long and I’m tired of it. Get your shit together, then talk to Wonshik, then hold a group meeting, because we don’t keep secrets. Especially when I can tell it’s something big.”
“Jaehwan-ah,” Hakyeon said softly, giving him a sad smile, “I don’t think I can do that.”
“You can. It’s easy. Now, I’m going to bed, Hyuk is going to make sure Wonshik’s alright, and then this will all be worked out tomorrow. Okay? Come on, Hyukie,” Jaehwan said, holding out a hand. Hyuk glanced at the three still sitting as they walked out of the room, giving them a tight smile.
As soon as they were out of the room, Hakyeon turned to Hongbin and Taekwoon before quickly saying “We can’t tell them.”
Taekwoon flinched slightly at the words, bringing a knee up to his chest and hugging it tightly.
“We have to,” Hongbin said with finality, cutting Hakyeon off as he opened his mouth to speak again. “As Jaehwan-hyung said, we don’t keep secrets.”
“Hongbin, what the hell do we say? Oh, hi you three, yeah, we’ve been hiding the fact that we have powers from you for a while and sorry, but we can’t show you because none of them manifest themselves physically? They would never believe us!” Hakyeon was getting slightly hysterical, which was taking a toll on Taekwoon.
Taekwoon reached out and grabbed Hakyeon’s ankle, silencing him. “You need to calm down, Hakyeon. I can’t think when your emotions are this loud.”
“We need to tell them,” Hongbin said. “I’ve been slowly losing my mind this past week. I literally feel like I’m about to explode, that something is going to happen soon. I just,” he choked back tears, “I can’t hide this… this fear. You guys know, but it isn’t enough. I almost drowned the other night. I almost died, and I can’t just… if something happens, they should at least know the truth,” Hongbin pleaded. “Please.”
Taekwoon took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before making a decision.
“I agree with Hongbin,” he said softly, turning to Hakyeon. “Besides, everyone’s been acting strange recently. If we tell our secrets, hopefully they’ll tell theirs. Hyuk-ie is… hiding something. He felt guilty when he said he likes science. He was overwhelmed with guilt, so much it hurt.”
“Wonshik too,” Hongbin said, meeting Hakyeon’s eyes. “Wonshik’s been acting strange, but I think it’s something important. I had a conversation with him a couple days ago and something he was saying seemed… pivotal. Like he knew too much.”
“You actually think we should do this?” Hakyeon asked them, meeting their eyes, seeing the conviction in them. “You think this is a good idea?”
“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon whispered. “We have to. I’m sick of secrets. Telling you two was like releasing a burden. Think about if we all knew. Don’t you want to be free?” he asked, looking up with pleading eyes.
“Freedom,” Hakyeon said, sliding his eyes to look at the ceiling. “That would be nice.” He took a deep breath through his nose before releasing it, once again staring at the other two. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
--
Later that night, Hakyeon was woken up by someone shaking his shoulder and panicked breathing. He groaned slightly as he opened his eyes, blearily taking in Hongbin’s shaken form.
“Hyung, please, I need help.”
“What’s wrong?” Hakyeon asked as he sat up, squinting through the darkness and trying to see Hongbin clearer. When he finally noticed, he gasped. “Hongbin,” he said as he stood up, gripping his arms tightly as he peered at the blotches on his pajamas. “Hongbin-”
“It’s not my blood,” Hongbin whispered, panicked as he tried to take deep breaths, but kept failing. “It’s not my blood. It’s not my blood.”
“Okay. Okay. Shh,” Hakyeon said as he hugged Hongbin, reaching a hand to his head to comb through his hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.”
“Hyung, I can’t… I can’t-”
“It’s okay, Hongbin. It’s okay. Hyung will fix this.”
They stood hugging for several minutes while Hakyeon sent Hongbin calming waves through his body to help him breathe. When Hongbin was finally able to breathe by himself and wasn’t shaking as much, he let go.
“Why don’t you get in the shower?” Hakyeon asked, rubbing a hand on Hongbin’s back in small circles. “I’m going to wash your clothes. Can you do that for me?”
Hongbin nodded and they walked to the bathroom, Hakyeon waiting until Hongbin passed him his pajamas through the door, then walked back to Hongbin’s bed. Noticing dark stains on the blankets he took those off the bed and brought them, as well as the pajamas, over to the washing machine.
Once he had pre-treated the blood and the laundry was in the washer, he sank down to the floor, his face burrowing into his knees and he cried himself to sleep, lulled by the rumbling of the washing machine against his trembling back.
Summary: Hongbin woke in his bed, choking on seawater. That was the moment that everything changed.
Rating: T
Words: ~2.8k this chapter, 15.6k total
Also on AO3
Hongbin found himself floating through the water, no resistance blocking him as he moved, faster than he could even swim, his body taking him wherever it wanted to go. It was dark, and as Hongbin tilted his face up to find the sun reflecting off the surface of the water, he spotted nothing, only more dark water.
He spent what felt like several hours just passing through the water, seeing very few plants as he passed by, and even fewer fish. Logically, Hongbin knew that if he was in the deep sea, he shouldn’t be able to see anything, but somehow he could. He felt his body pause in front of these long, reed-like creatures, with red tops opening up like a lily, slowly swaying in the still ocean. They were nestled between black rocks, dotted with something white, sticking to the surface. He reached a hand out, trying to touch whatever it was, but his hand passed through.
Hongbin felt his body as it turned around, neck straining slightly as he was propelled forward again. He drifted for a while longer, seeing more of the curious red creatures, or plants, or whatever they were, settled between the rocks. He reached out to touch another one, hand moving without a thought, but this time, his fingers didn’t pass through and he grasped the tube. In his surprise, Hongbin inhaled sharply through his nose, and immediately opened his mouth when he inhaled water, it burning down into his lungs. He backed up slowly from the tubes, coughing and inhaling more water, before he felt the hair at the back of his neck stand up. Slowly, he turned around and saw what looked to be a giant squid coming closer to him. He opened his mouth to scream and…
…sat up in bed, choking on salt water as he coughed, the water pouring out of his mouth and onto the blanket covering his lap. It burned his throat as it came back up, but Hongbin kept punching his stomach and coughing, trying everything he could to get the water out of his lungs and stomach. When he was done, and the shaky breaths he was trying to take didn’t hurt anymore, he stood up, taking his soaked blanket with him, intent to do some laundry before anyone would notice.
“Hongbin,” he heard someone say, and he turned around to see Hakyeon and Taekwoon awake, staring at him from their beds. He inhaled through his nose sharply, glad that he wasn’t inhaling salt water this time, and set his blanket back on his bed before taking small, halting steps toward Hakyeon, the sound of his bare feet scuffing the floor.
“Hongbin,” Hakyeon said again, patting his bed to force him to sit down. “What just happened? Are you okay. You sounded like you were…” He trailed off.
“Dying,” Taekwoon said, picking up Hakyeon’s sentence. “You sounded like you were dying, panicking. You were afraid when you woke up.”
“I wasn’t” Hongbin snarled back before he glanced at where Jaehwan was still sleeping and lowered his voice. “I wasn’t scared,” he sneered on the last word. “It was just a bad dream, now can I please go back to bed?”
Both Taekwoon and Hakyeon stared at him for several moments longer before Taekwoon hesitantly spoke up.
“You don’t believe that,” he said confidently, despite his soft voice. Hongbin turned toward him with a raised eyebrow, begging him to continue. “You don’t believe that was just a dream.”
“Shut up, hyung,” Hongbin said back to him, but his heart was speeding up and he could feel it pounding in his chest, trying to escape. His breathing got worse as he started to panic. “It was just a dream. Just a dream,” he said, reassuring himself, but his thoughts kept turning to what had happened, touching the red tube in the water, coughing up ocean water on his sheets, and he started to panic more.
And as quickly as he had started to panic, it all stopped, and he felt a calm start to bleed into his brain, edging out any panic that once existed. When he no longer felt like he was in the midst of a panic attack, he looked up at the other two, expecting to see them looking at him with pity in their eyes, as they usually did whenever he had an attack. Instead, he saw Taekwoon staring at Hakyeon, his eyes narrowed as he grabbed onto his wrist.
“Hakyeon, what did you do?” Taekwoon asked, long fingers grabbing Hakyeon’s wrist tightly, his tone of voice demanding. Hongbin was confused with what could have happened between when he started to panic and when he looked up again, but Hakyeon’s eyes were open in fright and his mouth parted slightly as he licked his lips, staring back at Taekwoon.
“What do you mean, Taekwoon-ie?” Hakyeon asked trying to smile, but his voice wavered as he tried to pull his hand away.
“You changed Hongbin’s emotions. Somehow, you made him calm down.”
Hongbin stared at Hakyeon, silently wondering if that was true. He had never met anyone with powers before and had silently suffered through his own discovery many years ago alone, relying on fiction stories to understand what his wandering when he slept meant. It had crossed his mind several times that others must have powers like him, but it wasn’t something you could ask someone without being locked up.
“I didn’t do anything, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon had replied, glaring at Taekwoon. “Besides, how would you know?”
That… was a good question, Hongbin thought, staring at the two eldest as they fought. He was not okay with Hakyeon manipulating his emotions, if what Taekwoon said was true, but how would Taekwoon know anyway?
“I-” Taekwoon said before licking his lips, staring at his hands. “I just… feel things. People’s emotions. Hongbin was panicking and all of a sudden, you and him were feeling like the exact same person. As if you took your emotions and made them his.”
Both Hakyeon and Hongbin stared at Taekwoon, who wasn’t looking at either of them. But he didn’t need to, because he could judge what they were feeling quite easily.
“You’re right,” Hakyeon finally said, making Hongbin turn to face him. “I could see that Hongbin was panicking, and I wanted to stop it. So I made him calm.”
“I don’t like it,” Hongbin said quietly, and the two looked at him. “I don’t want you to change my emotions.” He curled his hands into the blanket beneath him and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.
“But Hongbin,” Hakyeon started, reaching a hand out toward where Hongbin had placed his own on the bed.
“No, hyung,” Hongbin said, snatching his hand back. “I was panicking because I woke up with my lungs full of sea water. I almost drowned in my sleep and if I don’t panic now, then I’ll be anxious for days. So please-” his voice broke and he couldn’t continue, so he just brought his hands up to cover his face, trying to force the tears back into his eyes.
“Can we be honest with each other?” Hakyeon asked after Hongbin had calmed down. Both boys nodded, their eyes cast down. “We need to understand what the others can do. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never met someone else who could do something like this. I’d like to know… I’d like to know what you can do. We can support each other through this. Okay?”
Hongbin couldn’t find a way out of Hakyeon’s logic, so he nodded, reluctant to part with the secret that he’d been holding for so many years. Taekwoon looked just as reluctant, but he had already shared a bit about his powers. He too nodded, making Hakyeon smile.
“Good,” Hakyeon said. “As I said, I can manipulate emotions. It’s… useful. I think I was in middle school when I first discovered I had the ability, but I’ve had it for longer than that.”
He took a deep breath before starting again.
“I’ve always been a pretty positive person and everyone around me was happy too. They doted on me, and I’m pretty sure I was manipulating how people felt about me for a long time. When I was in middle school, everyone started to change, grow into their own people, and I didn’t like that. One of my friends befriended a new kid in the school, and they got close. I was excluded from things, so I got mad and made him hate his new friend, and like me. Everything I wanted him to feel, he did. I started to practice until it became second-nature. And now, I manipulate everyone I meet.”
“Why?” Taekwoon asked quietly, staring at his friend. Hongbin also looked over, trying to judge what Hakyeon was thinking.
“Why?” Hakyeon repeated, “Because I want everyone to like me. All the mean people in the entertainment industry, the self-absorbed people, ready to hate idols, they all love me. And they like Vixx. I want them to, so they do. I do it to help our careers.”
This was a Hakyeon that Hongbin had never seen before. Hakyeon was always smiling, and it made others want to smile too, to be around him; he drew people to him like a moth to flame. And they all played right into his hands.
“So it’s all…” Hongbin didn’t know how to continue, but Hakyeon gave him a small smile, shaking his head.
“It’s not all faked, if that’s what you think. I’m just a very charismatic young man, and people are attracted to that.” Hongbin rolled his eyes at that. “No but really, when I see someone who I can tell is not enjoying me, or Vixx, or has doubts about something, I change it. That’s all.”
“Right,” Hongbin said, his ideas about their leader starting to crumble the more he learned. “Right. Do you use it on us?”
Hakyeon’s guilty look made Hongbin cringe away slightly. Taekwoon also got a nervous look on his face.
“It’s not what you think,” Hakyeon said softly. “When you guys are down, or morale needs to be boosted and Jaehwan and Sanghyuk aren’t helping, then I help everyone a little. Not enough to make a one-eighty, but to help you guys see that maybe things aren’t that bad.” Hakyeon’s voice got even softer. “You all deserve to be happy.”
“It’s fine,” Taekwoon said softly, surprising Hongbin and Hakyeon. “You feel… regretful. And in pain.”
“Can you feel all our emotions?” Hakyeon asked, pushing the focus onto Taekwoon. He nodded.
“It’s… difficult. I’ve known since I was a child. I never understood that everyone else couldn’t feel the emotions. Everything was fine as a kid. All anyone cared about was making friends, or playing soccer. Emotions are simpler at that age. At home it was… difficult. I could feel my sisters’ emotions as they went through puberty, my mom’s worries when my dad was away too long, my dad’s frustration with his job.”
Hakyeon and Hongbin were both transfixed with Taekwoon’s story. He’d started to open up to them more when they debuted, and was continuing to do so for the several years they’ve been a group, but he never talked for this long without stopping. He preferred simpler sentences, things that could be said in one word instead of ten.
“Middle school was difficult. Everyone was changing, and their emotions changed with them. Soccer used to be about having fun, but my teammate’s lives started seeping in to practices, their hate, betrayal, lust, happiness. And I just couldn’t understand it. I didn’t know what drove them. Everyone started to be something more than happy kids, and I didn’t know how to be anything but. I was constantly bombarded with emotion upon emotion, and that’s…” he took a deep breath to still his shaking voice, “impossible to deal with. So I kept quiet, watched and learned, and the more I watched, the more I understood. But by then it was too late.”
Hakyeon gave him a small smile. “Kids are cruel to those that don’t fit in. And they don’t forget.” He reached out to touch Taekwoon’s knee, but was stopped by a glare. Hongbin understood.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” he asked, staring at Taekwoon as he did so. Taekwoon nodded, glancing back at Hongbin before turning to stare at Hakyeon.
“It got a lot worse in high school and after graduation. I started to feel my friends’ and family’s thoughts upon my skin. With a single touch, I could understand exactly what was bothering someone. So far, it only happens with people I’m close with, but I am constantly worried that I’ll wake up one day and be able to hear everyone’s thoughts, and slowly go crazy.”
It was silent after that, Hakyeon staring at Taekwoon with tears in his eyes and itching fingers that didn’t dare touch his skin now. Hongbin was staring at his own fingers folded in his lap, eyes itching for some unknown reason.
“Astral projection,” Hongbin said after a couple minutes, finally looking up from his lap. Hakyeon had a look of understanding in his eyes, probably knowing exactly what Hongbin was saying because of the numerous sci-fi and fantasy books he read. Taekwoon looked confused.
“I have no control over it,” Hongbin said, his voice in a monotone. “Every time I go to sleep, my astral body travels. I thought they were dreams when I was younger. But then I started seeing images of things that happened while I was sleeping, and I would wake up to those being a reality. I float into a club and watch a woman assaulted and stabbed, then wake up to hear it actually happened. Do you know what that’s like?” Hongbin asked, staring at Hakyeon and Taekwoon, his voice getting a little louder than he would like. “Do you know what it’s like to see something happen, but are powerless to stop it?”
Hakyeon and Taekwoon shook their heads, still staring at Hongbin.
“Tonight was different,” Hongbin said, bringing his arms up to hug himself. “I was traveling through the ocean. It’s just my astral body, you know?” he asked them, pleading for them to understand, “it’s not supposed to affect any part of my physical body. But I touched something in the ocean and inhaled water and woke up with the water in my lungs and I couldn’t breathe and it effected my physical body and I don’t understand. This has never happened. It’s not supposed to happen,” Hongbin said, getting hysterical again. “What is happening to me?”
Taekwoon moved slowly over to Hakyeon’s bed and sat next to Hongbin, putting an arm around his shoulder as Hongbin started to sob. Hakyeon looked over with tears in his eyes, but made no move to manipulate the emotions Hongbin was feeling at that moment. Just as slowly, Hakyeon crawled over to put his arm around Hongbin’s waist and pushed his head down so he was half laying on Hakyeon. Both of them stroked his hair as he cried.
“It’s okay,” Taekwoon whispered to him, pushing his hand through Hongbin’s hair, trying to calm him down.
“It’s not okay, do you know what I see?” Hongbin asked him. “I see death, and murder, and rape. The deep ocean was a vacation for me, and I almost drowned. Can you imagine something happening to my physical body when I’m in the middle of a warzone during one of my projections? I could actually die.”
His breath sped up even more and both Taekwoon and Hakyeon tried to get Hongbin to breathe normally, taking deep calming breaths and counting together, trying to get Hongbin to follow along. They were somewhat successful.
When Hongbin was finally asleep on Hakyeon’s bed, under the covers and still shaking slightly, Taekwoon and Hakyeon looked at each other and gave a small smile, trying to lend support.
“Is Hongbin okay?” Jaehwan asked sleepily from the corner, head lifted slightly as he stared at where Hakyeon and Taekwoon were standing.
“He’s okay, Jaehwan-ie,” Hakyeon said in as calm a voice as possible. “He just had a small panic attack. Go back to sleep.”
After several more minutes had passed, Taekwoon and Hakyeon had finally relaxed, releasing breaths they didn’t even realize they were holding.
“Can I hug you?” Hakyeon asked in a small voice, already stepping closer to where Taekwoon was standing. Taekwoon hesitated for a moment, judging Hakyeon’s emotional state, before he nodded.
“Yeah.”
The two friends hugged for several minutes, crying silent tears into the other’s shoulder, both in worry of Hongbin and the relief that came from finally telling someone their long-kept secret.
Hi everyone. Just letting you know that take me back has been translated into Vietnamese HERE. Please check it out! The translators worked super hard and I am honored that they chose my story to translate.
In other news, I’ve been having problems with my tendons and tissue in my hands and arms, so I haven’t really been writing much, as it’s pretty painful, but I am close to finishing one fic that I’m very excited about. I’m at 10k, and it will probably be around 15k when all finished. It’s pretty different from other things I’ve done, but I love the story so far, so hopefully you will as well.
I have another fic that is just starting that will be a wontaek oneshot, and I am excited to share that with you as well. Hopefully one of these two things will be out by early next month! Thanks for supporting me everyone!
Summary: Taekwoon enjoys watching sad dramas. Somehow, it becomes a group activity.
Rating: G
Words: 2.7k
Also on AO3
Taekwoon didn’t have a crush on him. He really didn’t, but something about the way Haruma Miura acted, the way his body and emotions were portrayed over the screen really affected him. He first saw him acting in some movie he saw with his friends before he debuted, and was quite taken with him. Taekwoon really did not have a crush on him, but when they started really studying Japanese, he was the first person Taekwoon thought of. Taekwoon quickly devoured the movies he starred in, and moved on to the dramas.
Taekwoon also might have a problem with Japanese dramas. He convinced himself that watching them was to improve his Japanese, to learn how it sounds when native speakers interact, but whenever he had free time and wasn’t in his studio, he was at home watching dramas. And not just any dramas, but depressing love stories that made you cry.
Because Taekwoon definitely did not have a crush on Haruma Miura, and he did not have a problem with depressing Japanese dramas, it only made sense to watch The Hours of My Life, which was a good combination of both. The series was only 11 episodes, but with how busy Vixx was and how much Taekwoon needed his sleep when they did have time, it took him three weeks to finish. He finished the final episode at 1:30 in the morning and was sobbing, his nose stuffed up, making it difficult to breathe. It took several minutes for him to calm down, and he wiped at his eyes roughly with the cuff of his sleeve, trying to dry his cheeks enough to not look like his life had just ended.
Taking a deep breath, Taekwoon stepped out of his room, blinking slightly at the light that was on in the hallway, meaning someone was still up. He walked over to the bathroom, passing several rooms and was almost to the bathroom when Hakyeon stepped out of it, shaking out his slightly damp hands. Hakyeon stopped abruptly, the slight smile that was on his face dropping when he noticed the state of Taekwoon’s face, slightly blotchy and puffy, evidence that he was crying very prominent.
“Taekwoon, are you alright?” Hakyeon asked as he stepped quickly over to Taekwoon, putting an arm around his waist in an attempt to comfort him. Taekwoon knew what Hakyeon must be thinking, that he was having a crisis or something bad had happened in his family.
“It’s fine, Hakyeon,” Taekwoon said, stepping out of the half hug and walking to the bathroom, but he was stopped when Hakyeon grabbed his wrist, pulling him into the living room. Taekwoon sighed, wishing that he could get out of the situation, but not telling Hakyeon would only make the leader worry even more, and Taekwoon couldn’t do that to him; Hakyeon already had enough to worry about.
As they sat down on the couch, Taekwoon noted the worried lines on Hakyeon’s face, the way his forehead crinkled slightly and his eyebrows lowered in the corner, his lips turned down. He didn’t mean to do this to him.
“I’m really okay, Hakyeon, I just watched something sad. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Hakyeon rolled his eyes, still frowning. “You know I can’t do that, Taekwoon. I worry about all of you all the time.”
Taekwoon sighed. He knew all about Hakyeon’s worries, always feeling like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, or at least felt like he was piggy-backing Hyuk, only showing the strain of his responsibilities when he was back in the dorm. Taekwoon hated to see Hakyeon like this, and hated it even more that he was the one to put him in this state.
“Hakyeon, seriously, I was just watching a sad drama,” Taekwoon said, reaching a hand out and dragging his fingers down Hakyeon’s bicep in an attempt to comfort him. “It was about someone with ALS and the last episode was really sad. I’m fine.”
Hakyeon blinked a few times as he registered what Taekwoon was saying, before raising an eyebrow at him. “Why were you watching something like that this late? Your eyes will be puffy tomorrow morning.”
Taekwoon just shrugged. “I like those kinds of stories. They’re nice to watch when we’re resting. I don’t like watching people live out their dramatic lives on screen because the kind of lives they are living just… isn’t me.”
Hakyeon gave him a small smile. He knew what Taekwoon thought of pointless relationship drama and people arguing for no reason; he was about as non-confrontational as possible.
“Still, you shouldn’t be watching these things on your own,” Hakyeon said. “Depressing shows always need to be watched with friends, otherwise it messes with your head.”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes. “That’s really not true. I watch those things all the time.”
“And look how you turned out,” Hakyeon muttered under his breath. “Kidding,” he said immediately after, regretting his half-joke. “But seriously, watching these things alone at night cannot be healthy. Next time, tell me and I’ll watch with you.”
Taekwoon blinked several times before nodding slowly.
“Okay.”
--
Taekwoon decided to watch Never Let Me Go next. His reasoning had nothing to do with the fact Haruma Miura was in it and more to do with the fact that it was a new drama that he heard was good, and would be good language practice. At least, that’s what he told himself.
As he was settling onto his bed, laptop resting on his legs and his headphones plugged in, Hakyeon walked into the room without even bothering to knock, somehow sensing that Taekwoon was about to go back on their promise they had made a week earlier.
“So, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said as he sat down on the bed, pushing at Taekwoon’s hip until he scooted over, making room for his friend. “What are you watching?”
Taekwoon sighed and took out an earbud, banging his head against the wall slightly. “I haven’t even started anything yet.”
“That’s because you were about to call me, right?” Hakyeon asked, taking the earbud Taekwoon had dropped and putting it in his own ear. Taekwoon sighed again, but didn’t do anything to make Hakyeon go away. Instead he just pressed play.
Within the first thirty seconds of the episode, someone was cut open and their organs shown. Both Hakyeon and Taekwoon winced, Hakyeon averting his gaze and staring at the wall instead. Taekwoon squeezed his arm when all of the gross imagery had gone away.
“Why are we watching this anyway, Taekwoon?” Hakyeon asked. “You know I hate this kind of medical stuff.”
Taekwoon just shrugged, avoiding Hakyeon’s eyes as he pointed to the screen where a man lay on a hospital bed, an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. Hakyeon had no idea how to respond to that, so he just turned back to the tiny screen and watched the episode.
“You know,” Hakyeon said halfway through the episode, reaching a hand up to card his fingers through the hair at the base of Taekwoon’s skull, “you remind me of Tomo. You’re good at soccer, bad at drawing, and tend to rage when things aren’t going well. When Tomo stomps his feet and yells out in anger, it’s really cute and all I can see is a little Taekwoon.”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes and turned toward Hakyeon slightly, pressing his head back against Hakyeon’s fingers. “He reminds me of when I was a kid. I wasn’t bullied or anything like that, but I didn’t really know how to vent my anger, and I was a little obsessed with soccer.”
They were quiet for a little longer, soaking in the episode, trying to understand as much Japanese as possible without reading the subtitles. Hakyeon was doing a lot better than Taekwoon on that account.
“You’re Kyoko,” Taekwoon said quietly, several minutes after Hakyeon’s interruption. Hakyeon hummed lowly, not registering what Taekwoon said for a couple of seconds before he elbowed him in the side.
“Ow,” Taekwoon said, glaring at him.
“Why am I the girl?” Hakyeon asked, pouting slightly. “Is it because I’m so cute?”
Taekwoon rolled his eyes, ignoring Hakyeon’s statement. “It’s because you stick up for what’s right and make friends with the people no one else approaches. Plus, she’s kind, but now I’m starting to re-think that part of your character.”
“Nope, I’ll take it,” Hakyeon said softly.
When the episode had finished the two sat quietly for a few minutes, just enjoying the quiet presence of the other after a stressful day.
“I’ve read the book, you know,” Hakyeon said suddenly, surprising Taekwoon out of his stupor. “Never Let Me Go. I’ve read it. It’s been awhile, but I remember enough of the story to know I’ll be crying at some point during this drama. Was that your intention?”
Taekwoon shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, but having known each other for so long, Hakyeon could interpret what Taekwoon was trying to convey.
“A different reason?” Hakyeon asked, mostly to his self, not even looking at Taekwoon as he thought. “The actor? The one you have a crush on?”
“I don’t have a crush on him,” Taekwoon said loudly, pushing his shoulder against Hakyeon’s. “I just admire him. He’s a very good actor and always brings something special to the dramas he’s in. I really don’t have a crush on him,” he repeated when he noticed Hakyeon trying to hide a smile by hiding his lips and opening his eyes wider.
“Okay,” Hakyeon said simply, agreeing with him in words even though Taekwoon could tell he didn’t actually believe him. “Well this was fun, but we should sleep, Taekwoon-ie,” Hakyeon said as he stood up from the bed. “Don’t watch without me, okay?”
Taekwoon nodded and watched Hakyeon walk out his door with a wave before he sighed and started to get ready for bed.
--
By the time they had gotten to the last episode, they had grown tired of watching the drama on a small screen and had migrated their party to the living room with the big TV. Somehow, in the transition from one room to the other and a span of three weeks, there were now six people watching the drama. Or, pretending to do anything but watch the drama. Yet somehow, every time Taekwoon and Hakyeon decided to watch an episode, that was the time the other members wanted to hang out and chat in the living room.
“Be quiet,” Taekwoon said for the third time in ten minutes, scowling at the members who were chatting lightly, but just enough to disrupt the drama. He was used to it by now, as Jaehwan constantly talked during movies or TV shows, but it was more difficult than normal to concentrate on what was happening on screen because it was in a different language.
“But Taekwoonie-hyung, we just want to spend some quality time chatting together, and we can’t do that when you and Hakyeon-hyung are watching this show. Don’t you love us?” Jaehwan asked, pouting out his lips in an attempt to appeal himself more to the elder boys. But Taekwoon just frowned at him, putting a finger to his lips to make him be quiet. In a surprising turn of events, Sanghyuk did the same.
There was a blissful eight minutes of silence except for what was playing on the screen, but the quiet was once again interrupted, this time by a quiet sniffling.
“Are you crying?” Hongbin asked, half laughing as he stared at Wonshik whose entire face was screwed up in an attempt to keep the tears inside his eyes and the noise of his crying to a minimum.
“Shut up,” Wonshik just murmured, elbowing Hongbin in the side, which earned him a pinch as payback. “It’s just really sad. Why did Tomo have to die? Why is the world so cruel to him and the others? Who decided who gets to live and die in this world?”
“I didn’t know you were so invested,” Hakyeon finally spoke up, turning to face Wonshik. “But you are the crybaby of the team, so…” he shrugged.
“I don’t think you have any room to talk,” Hyuk interjected, but he quickly backed down when Hakyeon turned a glare onto him.
“It’s just… as kids they were put into such bad situations, you know? They had the world on their shoulders and they didn’t even know it yet. And Kyoko has had to watch her friends and classmates die, one by one, and just has to keep moving on and be strong,” Wonshik said, voice cracking slightly. “I would never be able to do that.”
At some point during his speech, the tears that had already gathered in Taekwoon’s eyes from Tomo’s death became almost overwhelming, and he quickly wiped them away, trying to hide the fact that he was crying from the other members. This was one of the reasons he always watched dramas in his own room, because he would inevitable cry, and he was such an ugly crier.
“Can we just… finish this now?” Taekwoon asked quietly, catching the attention of the other members.
“Were you crying too, hyung?” Hongbin asked, looking at Taekwoon’s eyes. The other members peered closer as well, trying to look for a clue that he had been crying.
“Shut up,” Taekwoon said, groaning. “How did it come to this anyway? I was perfectly happy watching depressing dramas in my room by myself, then all of a sudden I gained five tagalongs. We see enough of each other already.”
Hakyeon hit him after the last sentence. “I told you, no one should watch these things alone. These kinds of shows change you.”
“And for all that we joke,” Hongbin said, “I kind of grew emotionally attached to these characters. It started off as a way to bother you, but the show is kind of fascinating. I love dystopian fiction.”
Taekwoon glanced around the room and noticed everyone nodding and Hakyeon giving him a gentle smile, eyes shining with something he couldn’t quite understand.
They finished the episode, and at the end, more eyes than just Wonshik’s and Taekwoon’s were wet, but they all tried to hide it from each other.
Taekwoon thought that that was the last of it, once everyone went their separate ways at the end of the drama. Several days later, when he had time after a schedule, he set himself up in his room again, intent to settle in and watch a few episodes of 1 Litre of Tears before going to sleep. For some reason, there were a plethora of Japanese dramas that involved someone with a terminal illness, and Taekwoon was keen to watch them all.
The moment he pressed play, Jaehwan wandered into his room without knocking and took a quick glance at Taekwoon, noticed the earbuds in his ears and the slightly wide eyes and screwed up his face slightly.
“You’re not watching porn right now, are you?” he asked, body relaxing when Taekwoon shook his head and turned his laptop around, showing him the screen. “Hey, are you watching another sad drama by yourself?” Jaehwan asked, peering closer at the screen. “Everybody! Come here!” Jaehwan shouted before sitting himself on the bed next to Taekwoon, earning himself a half-hearted shoulder push.
Somehow, the six of them ended up squished together on Taekwoon’s bed, straining themselves to read the subtitles on the screen and listen to the voices coming from the computer speakers, which were just shy of loud enough.
“You seriously have a problem, hyung,” Hyuk said, side-eyeing him when they were half-way through the first episode. “I can already tell even I’m going to cry at the end of this.”
Two weeks later, he was proved right when all 6 of them were openly crying, hugging pillows to their chest as they watched the last episode on the TV in the living room. And again three weeks later after they finished watching Summer Snow.
“I blame Taekwoon-hyung,” Hongbin said when he finished patting at his eyes. “Why do I get so invested in these shows? I never cry.”
“I didn’t cry,” Jaehwan said with a loud voice, making the others glance at him in disbelief.
“That’s because you’re heartless,” Hongbin remarked, earning him a slap on the arm, to which he only grinned.
“So,” Hakyeon said in a loud voice, clapping his hands together once to get their attention. “What’s next?”
Everyone turned to look at Taekwoon with a questioning glint in their eyes. He just sighed and pushed his hair out of his eyes, running through dramas in his head.
Hey, would anyone be interested in a vixx fic exchange or mini-bang? I want to participate in one but no one is putting them together, so I kind of want to organize and set one up. Will anyone be interested?
Let me know by responding or messaging me. If there is enough interest in either a fic exchange or mini-bang, I’ll see about putting one together.
FYI - A fic exchange is when a you give a prompt and receive a prompt to write. A mini-bang is when artists and writers collab together and is usually around a 5k commitment.
Summary: When Hongbin and Yoongi saw each other for the first time in 8 years at a broadcasting station, they had to look away and pretend not to know each other. After all, who would want to reveal their dark past as duelists in Duel Monster tournaments? Not a crack!fic
Rating: M
Words: 15.7k
Also on AO3
Part 1
The two of them texted back and forth for several weeks, perfecting their cover story, and just to get to know each other better. The members of both groups were way too interested in their love life, and always gave them knowing smirks when they were texting for a little too long. But, being idols, they really didn’t have many chances to meet.
When three weeks had passed since the reveal of their fake relationship, Hongbin and Yoongi finally had a chance to hang out with each other outside of a text conversation. They decided to bring their cameras and go to a park.
“Let me see your camera,” Hongbin said as soon as he saw Yoongi walking up to him. Hongbin was sitting on a bench, looking through his pictures on his own camera, occasionally scowling and deleting the blurry, or just bad pictures as he waited for Yoongi.
“Here,” Yoongi said, after he had taken out his camera. Hongbin admired the camera and the special lenses Yoongi had before handing it back.
“You ready to go?” Hongbin asked, standing up from the bench and holding out a hand to help Yoongi stand. The hand was unnecessary, but Yoongi took it anyway, letting Hongbin pull him into a standing position.
They walked slowly, stopping whenever something caught their eye. Hongbin enjoyed the flowers, and would squat in front of a group of flowers for several minutes, trying to get a perfect shot. Yoongi would watch Hongbin as he took pictures of flowers, occasionally sneaking a pic of Hongbin when he wasn’t paying attention. When there were people nearby, they would both take pictures, Hongbin focusing on the longboarders as they practiced in the wide open space, Yoongi taking pictures of the couples holding hands, zooming in on a random focal point. The both quickly brought up their cameras when they spotted a group of boys playing basketball and stood there, watching and taking pictures of them, for around thirty minutes.
“You wanna get some coffee?” Yoongi asked after they had been walking for several hours, bodies shivering slightly in the chilly weather.
Hongbin shrugged. “I don’t drink coffee, but I’ll get juice or tea or something.”
Once they had their drinks, the two of them found a quiet spot in the coffee shop and took a seat, taking out their cameras once more to look through the hundreds of pictures they both took.
“Yoongi, look at this,” Hongbin said, holding out his camera. Yoongi gently took the camera from his hand and stared at the screen, a laugh coming out unbidden as he saw the picture. Somehow, Hongbin had captured a longboarder mid-fall, their eyes wide and their mouth open, board already being pushed away to the side of the screen.
“It’s pretty funny,” Yoongi acknowledged, looking through the other pictures. He saw several more pictures of people longboarding, but those eventually transitioned into flowers, and people playing basketball, and… him.
Yoongi stared at his picture for a long time, looking at the way the light hit his hat, casting a shadow over half of his face. There were crinkles in the corner of his eyes from where he was scrunching his face, smiling brightly for a joke he no longer remembers. He’s staring at the basketball players, their forms blurred. It was very clear that he was the focus of the picture, and that Hongbin had spent time getting the exact effect he did.
“I didn’t even notice you take this,” Yoongi said, turning the camera so Hongbin could look at what he was talking about.
“Oh,” Hongbin said, looking a little lost. “That.” He reached out for the camera, and Yoongi handed it to him. “You looked pretty just standing there, enjoying watching people play basketball. You… really enjoy it, don’t you?”
Yoongi met Hongbin’s eyes and gave a small smile. “Yeah, I really do. Being in idol, writing music, it’s fulfilling, but basketball was my first love, or, er, second, and that’s not something that goes away. You keep loving it forever. I think I’ll play basketball until I’m old and my knees no longer work.”
Hongbin stared at him a little longer before smiling back, dimples deepening. “Well, I don’t really have your passion for it, but basketball is fun. I don’t get to play it very often because of our schedules, that and Vixx collectively sucks at it. It’s exhausting playing with them.”
Yoongi laughed, agreeing. “Yeah, my members try, but they’re not very good. Maybe Jimin and Jungkook, but they’re good at everything that has to do with sports. Kind of.”
“Taekwoonie-hyung thinks he’s good at everything, but he’s really not. He sucks at basketball. You just can’t tell him that because he’ll sulk for days.”
There was silence for a few moments before Yoongi decided to break it.
“I’m sorry, Hongbin.”
Hongbin looked up and raised an eyebrow, mouth curled up on one side. “What for?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “You know what for. For telling everyone we’re dating. It wasn’t fair to you. I probably caused trouble for you, so I’m sorry.”
Hongbin just waved him off. “They know I like guys,” Yoongi’s eyebrows raised at that, “and it just gives me a reason to get out of the practice room occasionally, to play basketball, or whatever. Besides,” he smirked, “now you have to pay for everything we do together. It’s a pretty nice deal.”
“If you’re sure,” Yoongi said, his eyes narrowed as he took his coffee and sipped it, wincing at the now lukewarm temperature.
“I’m sure,” Hongbin replied. “But, if you really want to apologize for something, you can apologize for abandoning me ten years ago and never telling me where you went.”
Hongbin was still smiling, but Yoongi frowned, heart aching.
“I’m joking,” Hongbin said, giving a small laugh and waving away his own statement.
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi said quietly, meeting Hongbin’s eyes to show his sincerity. Hongbin’s smile dropped as he stared at his friend.
“Yeah?” Hongbin asked, his voice soft and deep, eyes still meeting Yoongi’s.
“Yeah,” Yoongi said, giving a sad smile.
--
Very soon, it was September and it had been seven months since Hongbin and Yoongi had been fake dating. They met up several more times, texted a ridiculous amount, but with their schedules, both individual and group, it was nearly impossible to spend a lot of time together. But both of their teams did anything possible to ensure that they could hang out when they had free time. They were all way too invested in their love life.
Both Hongbin and Yoongi were participating in basketball during the 2015 ISAC. There was a lot of down time between matches or when they had to set up something, so they sat together, occasionally chatting. But they were on different teams, so it was less time together than they would have liked.
“What are you doing after this today?” Yoongi asked Hongbin while they waited for the next match. Hongbin just shrugged.
“We probably won’t finish until super late, so probably nothing but going to sleep. I’m pretty sure we’re leaving for China tomorrow afternoon. Why, did you want to hang out?” Hongbin asked, looking at Yoongi. He nodded.
“Yeah, but if you’re going on a plane tomorrow, you probably want to rest. We’ll just figure out some other time.”
Hongbin frowned, contemplating his schedule. “No, it should be okay,” he said. “If we don’t finish too late, we should do something. I haven’t seen you in a month.”
Yoongi nodded, all too aware of that fact.
“We don’t really need to do anything big. You can just come to my studio and hang out. I was planning on going there anyway.”
Hongbin nodded slowly, still thinking. It was Taekwoon who took the decision out of his hands when he walked up to join Hongbin on the bench.
“You should go, Bin-ah,” he said, glancing once at Yoongi before turning back to Hongbin. “Our plane doesn’t leave until three. You can come back late and get some sleep then.” He put a hand on Hongbin’s knee and squeezed before standing up again. “I’m going to tell our manager.” He left without saying anything else, quickly scanning the crowded stands for their manager before using his long legs to get away before Hongbin could say anything.
Hongbin and Yoongi stared after him for a few moments before turning back to each other. Hongbin sighed. “I guess I’m hanging out with you no matter what.”
The basketball tournament ended late, as they both predicted, their teams playing against each other in the finals. It was fun, but they were both exhausted at the end. Hongbin joined Yoongi and his manager as they went back to Big Hit.
“It’s… cozy,” Hongbin said as he looked around Yoongi’s studio. Yoongi’s interests and personality could be seen everywhere, from the jersey on his wall, to the candle resting on one of the speakers. Yoongi dragged in another chair from somewhere in the building, and the two of them sat down, staring at the computer.
“Sorry,” Yoongi said, turning to face Hongbin. “It’s usually just me in here.”
“Oh, I can tell,” Hongbin said, sniffing the air slightly. “It smells like your body odor.”
Yoongi sniffed the air slightly then punched Hongbin in the arm when he didn’t smell anything bad. “It smells like a candle,” he retorted, punching Hongbin’s arm again for good measure.
“Sorry, just kidding. It’s nice. It’s different from Wonshik’s studio, or Taekwoon-hyung’s. You can tell a lot about a person by their studio.”
“So, it’s like showing you my soul?” Yoongi asked, immediately shivering at the cheesy words that came out of his mouth. Hongbin fake gagged as well, hands curling up in front of his face. “Pretend I never said that,” Yoongi said, glancing at Hongbin who just shook his head.
“Yeah, I don’t think I can just forget that. It’s scarred into my brain forever. I’m going to be remembering it in my nightmares.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes at Hongbin’s dramatics and just turned on his computer.
“So, what are you going to show me?” Hongbin asked, gesturing at the now lit screen.
“Hm?” Yoongi asked, before realizing what Hongbin was asking. “Oh, nothing really. I just have all my work stuff on here. And things that I am in the middle of, projects I’ll never finish.” He turned to Hongbin. “Do you want to hear some?”
Hongbin shrugged. “Sure. I’m occasionally Wonshik’s guinea pig, I can be yours too.” There was some silence while Yoongi pulled up the files he was looking for. “So, how many boys do you invite into your studio and show your unfinished work?” Hongbin asked, tone joking.
“Very few,” Yoongi replied, not really paying attention to what Hongbin was saying as he focused on what was on his screen. “Here, listen to this. It’s something I started, like, a year ago and never finished. I didn’t know what to do with it.”
Hongbin listened quietly, looking at Yoongi as he stared at the screen, watching the different parts of the track go by.
“Huh,” Hongbin said after the fragment of a song was over. “You’re good.”
Yoongi turned to look at him. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. Hongbin waved a hand at him.
“You know what I mean. You know you’re good. Even the stuff you never finished is good.” Yoongi still stared at him. “It’s a compliment,” Hongbin insisted.
“Okay,” Yoongi said, turning back around in his chair to play another song, still not sure if what Hongbin said was a compliment or not. “This is something I’ve actually been working on recently. I wanted to do something that combined some of our earlier stuff with our newer sound and bring-” he was cut off when Hongbin grabbed his chair and turned it before pressing his lips to Yoongi’s.
Yoongi stayed still in his chair, not doing much of anything while the surprised of Hongbin’s action took over his body. After a few seconds, Hongbin drew away and leaned back in his chair, eyes never leaving Yoongi’s as he crossed his hands over his chest.
Yoongi stared at his friend, surprised. “Why did you kiss me?” he asked after a long moment of silence. Hongbin just shrugged, mouth curving up slightly in an attempt to smile.
“Because I wanted to,” he replied, still staring deep into Yoongi’s eyes.
“So this is…” Yoongi trialed off, unsure of what to ask. He had no idea what Hongbin wanted.
“This is a move, me asking if you want to actually date for real,” Hongbin replied. He was still slightly smiling, but Yoongi could see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear that what Yoongi might say will be the end of their friendship. He looked wild, like he had when he was younger, when he would risk everything to get what he wanted. Yoongi would recognize that look anywhere, even after ten years.
“Okay,” he said finally, seeing an unnoticed tension leak out of Hongbin’s body as he relaxed his entire body, shoulders sinking back into his chair. “What made you think I would agree?” he asked, giving Hongbin a small smile as he did so, receiving an eye roll in return.
“Oh please,” Hongbin said. “It’s me. No one could resist me.” Yoongi opened his mouth to refute that statement, but Hongbin just smiled at him brightly and moved his hand in front of his neck, cutting off what Yoongi was about to say. “Besides,” he continued, “why the hell would the first thing you think of when asked why we were hanging out be because we were dating? I mean, come on, that had to have been what was on your mind.”
“Hm,” Yoongi said, as he slowly moved his chair a little closer to where Hongbin was sitting. He grabbed his hand and pulled Hongbin so they were close, lips brushing over each other slightly. “Maybe.”
They kissed again, this time Yoongi taking the lead, one of his hands reaching to cup the back of Hongbin’s neck. Hongbin was half out of his chair, bracing one hand on the arm of Yoongi’s chair, the other hand pressed firmly against Yoongi’s thigh, holding his weight. They kissed for a minute before pulling back, eyes connecting as Hongbin sat back in his chair.
“There is really no room in here,” Hongbin said, laughing. His dimples were deep on his cheeks, and Yoongi wished that he had his camera to capture this moment of pure enjoyment on Hongbin’s face. He was too often plagued with hidden pressures and his own fear of failure, that this open look was rare. He reached out with a hand to touch one of Hongbin’s dimples, thumb dipping into the crevice until Hongbin was no longer smiling, his skin once again smooth.
“I won’t be able to hang out a lot from now on,” Hongbin said softly. Yoongi’s hand dropped from his face and rested on Hongbin’s leg. He squeezed his knee and hummed low in his throat.
“I understand,” Yoongi said. “That’s the kind of life we live.”
“I’m starting to film a drama soon, and then Vixx is making a comeback in November. I’ll have no time at all between those two things.”
“Oh?” Yoongi asked his tone curious. “We’re making a comeback November as well. Maybe we’ll see each other then?”
Hongbin shrugged. “It’s possible. We’ll come back mid-November, probably promote until early December. The concept is… something. You might enjoy it.” He smirked at Yoongi with his last sentence.
“What is it?” Yoongi asked, now curious, but Hongbin just shook his head, his eyes mischievous, and leaved forward again for another kiss.
Hongbin left not long after, catching a taxi outside of the Big Hit building, and went home to get some sleep before their flight. Yoongi went back to his studio after seeing Hongbin out, and began to work on a new song, completely inspired.
--
To Yoongioh: I finally finished filming! I’m home free!
To Narcissistic Monarch: Thank goodness. If I had to read your complaints any longer, I would break up with you.
To Yoongioh: Oh come on, I wasn’t that bad.
To Narcissistic Monarch: Well, I’m just glad that now I get you all to myself. No more sharing with the long nights you spend filming.
To Yoongioh: Hah. Now you just have to share me with Vixx, and our Japanese comeback, and our fans, and practice time.
To Narcissistic Monarch: I think I can handle that.
To Yoongioh: Good. What is your schedule like next week?
To Narcissistic Monarch: Way too busy. I even have to schedule in sleep. How about the next week?
To Yoongioh: Multiple planning sessions with our promotional team discussing what needs to happen for our new concept, and I’m in Japan from Tuesday through Thursday. Sometime after that?
To Narcissistic Monarch: Yeah. Want to do something Friday? You could always come over and hang out. Seokjin-hyung wouldn’t mind if I kick him out for a while.
To Yoongioh: In that case, come to our place. We can watch a movie or something. Besides, I don’t share a room.
To Narcissistic Monarch: Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.
--
“So, this is it,” Hongbin said as he lead Yoongi into their dorm, stepping over the shoes in the entryway, then quickly bending down to put them in an organized fashion. They all had space to put their own shoes so it wouldn’t clutter up the entryway, but sometimes, when a member was in a hurry, he’d kick them off without a thought.
“It’s nice,” Yoongi said, looking around the apartment.
“Yeah, I’m still not used to it, yet,” Hongbin said, leading Yoongi to the couch. “We just moved in, like, a month ago. And I’ve so far spent more time outside of the dorm than in it.”
“Hm,” Yoongi hummed, then leaned over to give Hongbin a quick kiss, which quickly turned into a make-out session, the two of them enjoying the open space of the living room. They hadn’t been able to physically see each other more than twice in the past four months, Hongbin busy with filming for his drama, and Yoongi busy with writing songs and working on their Japanese singles.
“I like your hair color,” Hongbin said, running his fingers through the strands before settling his hand against Yoongi’s neck. “It suits you.”
“You haven’t seen me in a while, then,” Yoongi said, kissing Hongbin again. “I’ve had this color for a long time. I’m about to change it again.”
They exchanged a strange glance, mouths pursed and eyes wide, before laughing. They kissed for several more minutes, Yoongi’s hand barely slipping up Hongbin’s shirt and caressing his abs before they stopped, leaving both of them feeling disappointed.
“We probably shouldn’t be doing this here,” Hongbin said softly, staring at Yoongi’s lips as he spoke. “Some of the members are home. As soon as one of them gets hungry, they’ll come by here to go to the kitchen.”
“And what are you planning to do about that?” Yoongi asked, leaning in slightly to press another kiss to Hongbin’s lips.
“Well,” Hongbin said, face still close to Yoongi’s. “We have two options. One, we could stay here and watch a movie. Or two, we can go to my room and continue what we started.”
“Number two,” Yoongi said as he sat back, grabbing at Hongbin’s hand. “But then, I actually want to watch a movie, so number one after.”
The two of them made out in Hongbin’s room for an hour or so, chatting about anything and laughing about whatever happened recently. When they could feel the other’s stomach rumbling, with hands pressed against taut skin and muscle, they decided it was time to emerge and find something to eat.
“You’re here? I thought you went out,” Hakyeon said when Hongbin rounded the corner. Yoongi followed behind him and saw when Hakyeon’s eyes opened wider, finally seeing him. “And the boyfriend is with you. Hi, I’m Hakyeon. What are you two doing?”
“Do you really want to know?” Hongbin asked, an eyebrow raised. He reached behind him to grab Yoongi’s hand and pulled him so that they were standing next to each other. “We got hungry.”
Hakyeon stood up from where he was sitting on the couch and pulled out his phone, walking up to them.
“I was just about to order some chicken. You two want some?”
Hongbin exchanged glances with Yoongi, who just shrugged, not caring either way.
“Sure,” he finally said, before turning back to Hakyeon, who was staring at them with a wide smile on his face. “And can you stop staring at us like that and go back to whatever you were doing?”
“Fine, fine,” Hakyeon said, already dialing a number he memorized a long time ago. “Just, who knew how cute my Hongbin would be when he’s in love.”
“Ugh, hyung, can you shut up?” Hongbin asked. But Hakyeon just smiled again and ruffled his hair, not dropping his smile even when Hongbin batted away his hand.
“Now, Min Yoongi-ssi, is there a kind of chicken you want?” Hakyeon asked. Yoongi was surprised out of his thoughts by suddenly being addressed, and shook his head.
“No, hyung,” Yoongi said. “Anything is fine.” He didn’t want to impose, and was still taken aback by the formal form of address from Hongbin’s leader.
Hongbin started berating Hakyeon about teasing Yoongi, but Hakyeon held up a hand and motioned for him to be quiet, holding up the phone to his ear and speaking to the people on the other side.
The three of them made awkward small talk, which was more of Hakyeon asking increasingly difficult questions for Yoongi to answer, and always ended in Hongbin and Hakyeon fighting, something the other said setting each other off. When the chicken came, it was a relief for Yoongi, who didn’t feel comfortable being in the same room as Vixx’s leader without food in front of him to keep him occupied. He was a force to be reckoned with, and something completely different than dealing with any of the BTS members. At least he knew how to respond to them.
When Hakyeon had paid for the chicken, he was yelling before the door even closed.
“Food is here! Han Sanghyuk, stop whatever you are doing and come eat with me.” Hakyeon put the chicken on the table and was already stomping off to find Hyuk, not waiting for a response that was likely to not come. This left Hongbin and Yoongi alone in the kitchen.
“He’s… different,” Yoongi offered up, feeling the force of the eye roll Hongbin gave him rather than seeing it.
“Yeah, he’s a whirlwind. You should be glad you don’t live with him. It’s exhausting.”
The two of them stepped closer to each other, Yoongi wrapping an arm around Hongbin’s waist, head falling against his shoulder as he groaned.
“You tired?” Hongbin asked, wrapping his arms around Yoongi as well. Yoongi nodded into his shoulder.
“I could probably fall asleep standing up if I wasn’t so hungry,” he said. “This chicken smells so good though.”
“Yeah, well, you’re too skinny,” Hongbin commented, squeezing Yoongi’s sides a little as he said it, causing him to squirm. “You’ve always been too skinny, even as a kid.”
“Look who’s talking,” Yoongi grumbled back. “I think you’ve lost weight since you were twelve.”
Hongbin pulled back from the hug slightly, causing Yoongi to groan again at the loss of his pillow. He frowned up at Hongbin, who just rolled his eyes and walked to the table, grabbing the chicken, turning back to raise an eyebrow, waiting for Yoongi to follow.
They settled on the couch, turning on the TV to watch something while they ate. Hakyeon and Sanghyuk eventually showed up to grab some chicken before retreating to the kitchen, leaving Yoongi and Hongbin to have some time alone.
When Yoongi fell asleep halfway through the movie, his head against a pillow and an arm and a leg hanging off the couch, Hongbin paused the movie and started to clean up the mess they made, putting the leftover chicken in the fridge with a note on it for Jaehwan, Wonshik, and Taekwoon, saying that they were welcome to eat some. Jaehwan and Taekwoon probably would have anyway, as food never stayed un-eaten in their dorm for long, but it was better to leave a note than not.
Because he had nothing better to do, Hongbin cleaned the kitchen, picking up after Hakyeon and Hyuk, and washed the dishes that someone forgot to do that morning. When everything was up to his standards, he wandered back into the living room and sat next to Yoongi on the couch, taking out his phone for lack of anything better to do.
Jaehwan came back an hour later, making more noise than humanly possible as he took off his shoes and walked past the living room, stopping and staring at Hongbin.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” he asked, a little too loudly. Hongbin quickly shushed him, gesturing to the body next to him on the couch. Jaehwan walked closer, squinting to try and see who was laying there. “Is that your boyfriend?”
Hongbin nodded, gesturing for Jaehwan to lower his voice again. “He fell asleep, like, two hours ago. I’ve already cleaned the kitchen. I have nothing to do.”
Jaehwan laughed quietly, stifling the sound with him hand, but Yoongi still made a mumbling sound and stretched his body, nearly falling off the couch. He sat up, eyes blearily as he stared at Hongbin.
“What time is it?” he asked, voice hoarse, barely acknowledging Jaehwan standing a few feet away. Hongbin glanced at his phone quickly before replying.
“It’s 11:15.”
Yoongi groaned, rubbing at his eyes. “I should probably go home. I need to text Seokjin-hyung and my manager.”
“You can stay here,” Jaehwan spoke up, causing Yoongi to look over in his direction, noticing him for the first time. “If you don’t have anything to do tomorrow morning, it might be easiest to crash here with us. We have individual practice tomorrow, so Hongbin can leave whenever.”
Hongbin and Yoongi exchanged glances, asking each other silently if that was okay. After a few seconds, Yoongi nodded, resulting in a smile from Hongbin.
“Alright,” Yoongi said, “but I still need to text Seokjin-hyung and my manager so they don’t worry about where I am.”
While Yoongi took out his phone, Jaehwan grinned widely and gave Hongbin two thumbs up, winking at him. Hongbin flicked him off and rolled his eyes, making a shooing motion with his hand in hopes that Jaehwan would leave. He did, making kissing motions as he left.
To Seokjin: I’m staying over with Hongbin tonight. Fell asleep half way through a movie. They offered to house me.
To Yoongi: Why do I feel like you’re lying to me? Anyway, have fun. I’ll enjoy having the room all to myself.
To Seokjin: I’m really not lying, but I will have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.
To Yoongi: Whatever. Get some actual sleep while you’re there. I don’t want to put up with your cranky self tomorrow.
Yoongi didn’t reply back, just setting his phone next to him on the couch and turning to Hongbin.
“Sorry I fell asleep during the movie.”
Hongbin just shrugged, not really caring. “It was getting boring anyway. If you want to, we can keep watching it. Or we could just go to bed.”
“Do you mind?” Yoongi asked, yawning widely. It was a little early, Yoongi couldn’t remember the last time he went to sleep for the night before midnight, but at this point, he was exhausted.
Hongbin shook his head before standing up, holding out a hand to pull Yoongi up. He took the hand, stumbling as he got up before grabbing his phone, following Hongbin into his room.
“Here, you can use these,” Hongbin said as he tossed Yoongi a pair of shorts and a shirt, grabbing an extra toothbrush from a drawer and passing it to him as well. “If you want to wash up, you can use the shower. I’m pretty sure Hakyeon-hyung is already in bed, and Taekwoon-hyung isn’t back yet. I think he and Wonshik might be sleeping in their studios tonight. So, no one will bother you.”
Yoongi gave a small smile in thanks and left the room, heading to the bathroom. While he was showering, he started thinking about how his life had changed the past year, since he and Hongbin had started talking regularly and became fake boyfriends. It was strange to have a friend who he knew in childhood in the same business he was in, someone who he could talk with who wasn’t in BTS.
As he sat down on Hongbin’s bed to apply moisturizer, waiting for Hongbin to finish in the shower, he continued his thoughts, bringing up long-forgotten memories of their youth.
“You know,” Yoongi said when he and Hongbin were laying down, facing each other on the bed, “I went looking for you once, back then.”
“Hm?” Hongbin asked, placing a hand lightly on Yoongi’s hip, rubbing circles with his thumb.
“After my parents made me quit playing, I planned for several weeks to go to a tournament by myself, but I couldn’t find you. I went all the way to Seoul on the bus, even slept in the station like you had told me.”
“I quit not long after you did,” Hongbin said. “It wasn’t fun anymore.”
Yoongi could barely see Hongbin’s face, eyes not quite used to the dark yet, but he leaned forward anyway, placing a kiss on his lips. Hongbin brought a hand up to Yoongi’s head, pulling him in a little more to deepen the kiss.
When they pulled back, Yoongi could see less than he did before. “You know, I was really worried about you. You didn’t do safe things when you were a kid, and when I couldn’t find you at the tournament, I was worried that something had happened to you. I didn’t have your phone number, had no idea who your parents were, or where in Seoul you lived, even though my mom tried to find out. I thought about you for so long, but eventually, with no news, I just stopped. Didn’t think about you until I saw you in the broadcasting station. Then I never stopped.”
Hongbin nodded his head against the pillow, Yoongi seeing the movement through the dark.
“I really didn’t make healthy decisions when I was younger, I have to admit. Half the time my parents weren’t aware of where I was, I was sleeping in parks or in train stations, working part-time jobs to save up for tournament fees, or other things. It was really… not great. It’s something I look back on now and question how I was able to survive until now.” Hongbin shifted slightly before continuing. “I enjoyed it back then, but I was a lonely kid, you know? You were one of my only friends. I had acquaintances at school, but none of them were able to get close enough to me, and I didn’t let them. Everyone now assumes I must have been popular in school, but I really wasn’t. I just stayed by myself.”
Hongbin’s eyes were showing something Yoongi had never seen before in them, a kind of deep sadness. Somehow, Hongbin was a pretty positive person, even after all he went through as a kid, and the idol life. But Yoongi could do nothing for him but pull his body closer so they were sharing the same pillow. It was uncomfortable, and Yoongi liked having space while he slept, but it was nice to be this close to Hongbin.
Apparently Hongbin got over his sad thoughts quickly, because he raised his body up slightly and shifted, pushing at Yoongi’s side simultaneously so Yoongi was on his back, Hongbin hovering over him.
“Mmm,” Hongbin hummed as they kissed, slipping a hand under Yoongi’s shirt to caress his stomach, holding himself up with just an elbow, their lower halves pressed together.
“Is this okay?” Hongbin asked as he slipped his hand lower so it was resting on his lower stomach, fingers toying with the band of his pants.
“Yeah,” Yoongi said, then immediately groaned when Hongbin’s hand drifted even lower, pressing up against his crotch.
It was a quick handjob from the both of them, Yoongi returning the favor once he finished, Hongbin laying at his side when his arm wouldn’t support his weight any more.
“I got your shorts all dirty,” Yoongi said between kisses, feeling sticky.
“Don’t care,” Hongbin said, “I’ll just wash them. But I do care about the fact that I’m wet and sticky and just took a shower.”
Yoongi groaned. “Same. Do you at least have a tissue so we can clean up, then take a shower tomorrow morning? I’m exhausted and really don’t want to get up.”
They cleaned up as well as they could before finding a better position to fall asleep in, Hongbin setting an alarm for the morning. They fell asleep easily after that.
--
“Yoongi,” his mom said when he tried to stand up from the dinner table. He sat back down at the tone of her voice, staring at his dad who was also looking at him. It seemed like it would be a long discussion, judging by their faces.
“What?” he asked. “I was going to go finish my homework.”
His parents exchanged glances before his mom spoke up again. “We wanted to talk to you about something. That game you play, Duel Monsters,” her voice trailed off. Yoongi looked on with a blank face, wondering what she was talking about. “Your father and I don’t think it’s very healthy, is all. We want you to stop.”
Yoongi felt his breath hitch as he stared at his mom, who was staring anywhere but at him.
“Why?” Yoongi asked, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. “You’ve been to so many tournaments. It’s nothing bad at all.”
“Oh, I know, sweetie, but it’s expensive to sign up for the tournaments, and you can’t do it forever. We need to think about your future.”
“Anything but your card game,” his dad said. “There’s really not future in it. Besides, you’re 12 now. You need to start focusing on school, or finding something you enjoy doing.”
Yoongi frowned. “But I only know Duel Monsters. Or rap. Or basketball, but I’m too short for that. Those are the only things that I’m good at.”
His parents exchanged a look again. “As we said,” his mom repeated, turning her head to face him, “anything but Duel Monsters.”
Yoongi felt the tears drip down his face, but he quickly wiped them away, trying to pull himself back together. It didn’t work well, so he just sat on his chair, staring at the table while he wiped at his eyes, trying to stop his tears. He stayed like that for a few minutes, then looked up at his parents who were looking at him sadly.
“But mom,” Yoongi said, turning to her. “What about Hongbin? I don’t know how to contact him. How can I say goodbye?” He had already accepted that he would no longer be able to play, knowing that he couldn’t put a financial burden on his parents.
“Oh, sweetie,” she said. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with Hongbin. You really don’t know how to contact him? He’s never mentioned it before?”
Yoongi shook his head, thinking back on all the conversations he’s had with Hongbin, trying to look for a clue as to how to contact him.
“No, Mom,” he finally said. “I only know that he lives in Seoul. I’m pretty sure his parents don’t know he plays, though,” he said, looking at his mother. She was nodding her head, agreeing.
“He’s such a nice boy,” she said, looking off to the side of the kitchen. Yoongi followed her gaze, but found nothing but the sink. His mother was quiet for a few more seconds before speaking again. “Look, Yoongi, I know you like Hongbin, and I do as well, but you have to admit he might not be the best influence in the world. He’s a little… out of control.”
Yoongi felt tears start to fall again as he nodded, agreeing with what his mother was saying. He knew that.
“Okay,” Yoongi said, looking up at his parents and giving them a small nod. There was nothing he could do in this situation. He had to agree.
“Yeah?” his mom asked as she stood up to come over and give him a hug, his dad following soon after.
“Yeah,” Yoongi said, nodding into her shoulder as he waited for his tears to stop falling.
--
To Narcissistic Monarch: When’s the next time you have a couple of days off?
To Yoongioh: Ugh, probably not until around Chuseok. We’re preparing for a comeback and a concert in August, and a whole bunch of other things. Why?
To Narcissistic Monarch: My mom wants to see you. She cried when I told her about you. I was hoping to go see her soon.
To Yoongioh: Damn. I really don’t think I can take any time out, at least not long enough to spend more than a couple of hours in Daegu.
To Narcissistic Monarch: I understand. Would you be willing to see her if I can convince her to come to Seoul instead?
To Yoongioh: Of course! Can’t disappoint Mama Min. I’ve missed her.
To Narcissistic Monarch: Okay, well let me see if it’s even possible before we start making plans. We could have dinner together or something.
To Yoongioh: Yeah, just let me know.
--
“Hey everyone,” Yoongi called out while they were taking a short break from practice. The members were scattered across the floor, talking or just resting before Hoseok would force them to continue dancing. “Can Hongbin sleep over tomorrow night?”
Seokjin laughed from where he was laying on the floor, face flushed from dancing. “You mean ‘Hey Seokjin-hyung, can Hongbin sleep over tomorrow night in our room,’ right? I’m the only one this would really effect.”
“Don’t you usually sleep over at their dorm, though?” Namjoon asked, curious. “I mean, I don’t have a problem with it, but I’m wondering why it changed.”
As always, Namjoon was too perceptive.
“It’s really no reason,” Yoongi said, shrugging. “My mom is coming up to Seoul in two days and we were going to have an early lunch with her. It would just be easier to be in the same place rather than him traveling here, or going to pick him up that morning.”
“Ooh, I see,” Jimin said, nodding his head. “He’s meeting the parents for the first time, and you’re nervous and want him close. Why? You think your mom won’t like him?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “That’s really not the reason. I’m not nervous, and my mom already likes him. It’s just convenient. Besides, you guys have never officially met him, which is weird. I’ve met the Vixx members way too many times. I’ve been exposed to Hakyeon-hyung, so now he needs to be exposed to you. It’s payback.” Yoongi’s eyes became scary at the end as he thought of his numerous meetings with Vixx’s leader. For a man who seems nice when they greet each other during events, or on camera, when meeting him in person, he was honestly scary.
“It’s fine with me,” Seokjin said, shrugging his shoulders. “As long as you two don’t do anything too nasty while I’m in the room.”
“We save that for the privacy of his room,” Yoongi said, waving off the comment, smirking when he noticed several of the members scrunch up their faces. Taehyung grinned like a madman, though, so Yoongi made a mental note to keep Hongbin very far away from him.
“It’s fine,” Namjoon said, after assessing the members’ faces. Everyone nodded, then groaned when Hoseok forced them to stand up and resume practice.
--
“So this is your place, huh?” Hongbin asked as they stepped through the door. The entryway was a mess of shoes, but Hongbin just slipped his off neatly and placed them by the others, a calm in a mess of chaos.
“Yeah,” Yoongi said. “Sorry, it’s a little crowded compared to your dorm.”
Hongbin just waved a hand at him, walking farther in. “I’m very used to crowded. I used to share a room with, like, six other boys during our trainee days. And then there were four of us in one room until we moved. You don’t need to justify anything to me.”
“There he is,” Seokjin interrupted when he walked by, stopping in front of Hongbin and Yoongi with a grin. “I know we’ve kind of met, but I’m Seokjin. I’ll be one of your roommates for tonight.”
Hongbin grinned back and gave a small nod in greeting. “Well, I’ll happily share a room with you for tonight. I’m Hongbin, this one’s boyfriend,” he said as he swatted at Yoongi’s stomach with a hand. Yoongi scowled and swatted him back. Hongbin just gave him a superior look before turning back to Seokjin.
“Okay, well I’m going to be a good host and cook dinner. Somehow, you coming is a special occasion so I was strong-armed into cooking by the brats. If you see them, you really don’t have to be nice to them, okay?” Seokjin asked, raising an eyebrow. Hongbin nodded and waved slightly as Seokjin wandered off to the kitchen.
“What should we do now?” Hongbin asked, turning slightly to Yoongi. Yoongi just shrugged, unsure.
“We could go to my room. It’ll be empty until dinner, then we’ll actually have to socialize.”
“Ew, people,” Hongbin said jokingly, a smile lighting up his face. Yoongi rolled his eyes and silently picked up Hongbin’s hand, dragging him into his room. They passed by Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook hanging out in front of the TV, playing a game of some sort, but they were too absorbed to notice the two walking by.
“I wonder what we should do with all of this free time,” Hongbin said sarcastically, before sitting on Yoongi’s bed, pulling him down with him.
An hour later, when Seokjin came to get them, they were laying on their stomachs, watching something on Yoongi’s phone.
“Thank goodness you two weren’t doing anything,” Seokjin said as they were walking toward the kitchen, “I completely forgot to knock.”
“You should have come twenty minutes earlier,” Hongbin said, grunting when Yoongi elbowed his side.
“Hey, kids,” Seokjin said as he passed the couch. When no one answered him, he walked up to Taehyung and slapped the back of his head, finally earning his attention. “It’s time to eat. Come on.”
Hoseok and Namjoon were already waiting for them, engaged in some kind of staring contest with the food.
Everyone started to eat, the noise extremely loud, something that Hongbin was definitely not used to, especially when eating at home. He interacted with everyone, his smile consistent on his face. Halfway through dinner, Yoongi turned to him slightly and said in a low voice, “you’re being strangely kind. It’s weird.”
“Don’t you know?” Hongbin asked. “I’m always kind. People love me.”
Yoongi couldn’t help but scoff, rolling his eyes. “Then they really don’t know you. You’ve never been a nice person.”
Hongbin gave a too wide smile, his dimples deep before he pinched Yoongi’s thigh under the table, causing him to yelp and retaliate by hitting Hongbin in the stomach with the side of his hand. They both smirked nastily at each other before noticing that the conversation had stopped and everyone was staring at them. Hongbin put on his most peaceful smile, pretending he did nothing.
“Now I can see it,” Jimin said, glancing between the two of them. “There is no way Yoongi-hyung would date anyone that kind and nice. You had to have been hiding something.”
Hongbin gasped, putting a hand to his chest. Yoongi rolled his eyes at the faked sound. “What? No, Yoongi punched me in my stomach out of nowhere. You guys need to talk to him about his aggression, honestly.”
The members exchanged glances, but Yoongi just put an arm around Hongbin’s waist and pinched his hip. He was rewarded with a middle finger for his troubles.
“Yeah, it fits,” Hoseok said, rolling his eyes at their antics.
“So, you’re meeting Yoongi’s mom for the first time, right? Are you nervous?” Seokjin asked, looking at Hongbin. Hongbin just waved him off.
“No, I’ve met her, like, a thousand times already. She loves me. It’ll be the first time as his boyfriend, though, so who knows.”
Yoongi froze, and he noticed Namjoon doing the same thing, thinking over Hongbin’s statement. Yoongi grabbed Hongbin’s knee under the table and squeezed gently, knowing what was coming. Looking at Hongbin’s face, he realized Hongbin had no idea what he just said.
“You’ve met her a lot?” Namjoon asked, leaning forward slightly. “When did you first meet, then? You guys rarely have time to spend time with each other, nonetheless Yoongi’s mom.”
It was then Hongbin froze, turning to Yoongi in a slight panic. Yoongi just shielded his eyes with a hand and waved at him to continue.
“Well, we were friends when we were kids. I met Mama Min a lot when I was younger, but before meeting Yoongi again in 2013, we hadn’t seen each other in 8 years.”
“Didn’t you grow up in Seoul, though?” Taehyung asked, for once using his brain the way it was intended to be used. “How did you two know each other?”
The two stared at each other for a few long seconds, eyes communicating silently. Finally, it seemed like they came to a consensus, and Yoongi groaned, motioning for Hongbin to continue.
“Well, um,” he paused, straightening his back. “When we were younger, um, we both played a game competitively, and met often at tournaments. We became friends that way.”
Seokjin started tapping at his chin. “What game was popular around ten years ago? Call of Duty? But Yoongi sucks at that.”
“Hey,” Yoongi protested, but it was weak because he knew, no matter what, he would have to expose himself.
“It wasn’t a video or PC game,” Hongbin said slowly, exchanging glances again with Yoongi. “It was a card game.”
The members were muttering to each other, trying to figure it out.
“Duel Monsters,” Jungkook finally said, eyes widening slightly when everyone turned to him. “It was Duel Monsters, right?”
“Are you serious?” Jimin and Hoseok asked together, laughing lightly before turning to Hongbin and Yoongi, noticing their wide eyes.
“Oh my god,” Namjoon said, before starting to laugh.
“There is no way,” Jimin said, laughing. “You’re telling me that Yoongi-hyung, Yoongi-hyung played Duel Monsters? I had no idea he even knew what games were.”
“Blue eyes white drag him,” Seokjin said under his breath. But the entire table heard him, and Hongbin started to laugh loudly, snorting slightly as he did so. Everyone turned toward him, but he kept laughing, his dimples set deep in his face.
“I’m sorry, but that was really funny,” Hongbin said. “Blue eyes white drag him.”
Yoongi finally laughed as well, but it was bordering on hysterical.
“How good were you guys?” Taehyung asked. “I mean, I used to play with my friends, but we never went to tournaments.”
“God, this is embarrassing,” Yoongi muttered, covering his face again. “We were top ten in Korea. I was 6th and Hongbin was 8th.”
All the laughter stopped.
“Damn,” Seokjin and Taehyung said simultaneously. Hoseok whistled lowly.
Namjoon started laughing again, unable to contain himself. “I’m really sorry you guys. But this is so funny. What are the chances that two of the top ten duelists in Korea became idols? There is no connection between the two, yet if we look at the probability, it’s outrageously high.”
“Can we please stop talking about this and pretend you guys never found out?” Yoongi asked. “I never told anyone for a reason.”
“Shut up, it’s cute,” Hongbin said, nudging his side, smiling at him. But Yoongi just groaned.
“You never told Vixx either. Don’t act superior about this. If they knew you as a kid, they’d be surprised.”
“Well, they know now,” Seokjin said, waving his phone at them. “I just texted Jaehwan.”
Hongbin just shrugged. “It’s okay, only Hyuk and Jaehwan-hyung would tease me about it. But I have enough dirt on both of them for them to keep quiet.”
“Well this has been fun,” Yoongi said while standing up, “but I’m going back to my room and avoiding you guys for the next couple of days.” He started walking away, and Hongbin just shrugged before standing up and following him, making sure to thank Seokjin for the meal. He jogged slightly to catch up with Yoongi, then slapped his butt a couple of times before wrapping an arm around his waist. Yoongi made sure he saw his middle finger before wrapping an arm around Hongbin’s waist as well. Right before closing the door, they heard loud laughter coming from the other room.
“They’ll never let me live this down,” Yoongi groaned once he and Hongbin were on his bed. “The maknaes are going to be making sly jokes all the time too.”
“It had to come out sooner or later,” Hongbin said, throwing a leg over Yoongi’s. The sat like that for a while, playing on their phones until they were nodding off. When Seokjin came in two hours later, they were curled up together, asleep.
--
Yoongi made a face as he picked another card out of his draw pile, adding it into his hand. Hongbin laughed at him.
“Don’t remember the effects of the card?” he asked. Yoongi nodded and groaned.
“Why did we think it was a good idea to play each other again after not having even picked up our decks in over ten years? I’ve forgotten the special effects of some of these monsters. And I don’t even remember having Skull Invitation. What the hell?”
“Oh? You just picked up Skull Invitation? You should play that,” Hongbin said, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
“Fine,” Yoongi said, slapping the card down. “I’m activating the trap card Skull Invitation. This means that for every card you send to the graveyard, it inflicts 300 points of damage to your life points. And mine.”
“Are you done?” Hongbin asked.
“Yeah,” Yoongi responded.
“Fine, then I activate the spell card Dimensional Fissure. This means that any card sent to the graveyard is instead banished, rendering your trap useless.”
Yoongi groaned, throwing his cards face down on the floor. “I give up. This game sucks.”
“Hey,” Hongbin said, leaning over the cards on the middle of the floor to slap Yoongi’s head. “I’m not done with my turn. Are you just giving up because I’m winning?”
Yoongi just groaned again. “How did this happen? You’re never beaten me before.”
“And I still haven’t. The game isn’t over until it’s over. Now let me finish my turn,” Hongbin glared. Yoongi sighed before picking up his hand again. “I now tribute Granmarg the Rock Monarch to summon Granmarg the Mega Monarch. His effect means I get to destroy two cards on the field, and I choose your two facedown cards. Then, I attack your Volcanic Slicer directly, which means you are now out of life points.” Hongbin said. “Now I win.”
“Why did you even use Dimensional Fissure if you were going to win this turn? There was no point. And you could have used Granmarg’s special effect to destroy it anyway,” Yoongi complained, as he started to clean up the cards.
“I just wanted to make sure you really feel your defeat,” Hongbin said, leaning over the cards to kiss Yoongi’s pouting lips.
“Let’s never do this again,” Yoongi declared, leaning his back against the wall. “I think Duel Monsters is supposed to stay in our past.”
“Aw,” Hongbin said. “But I just got used to winning.”
“And it will never happen again, because we are never playing again.”
“That’s okay, I’ll just play with Taehyung. He’s been talking about it recently. Something about reliving his youth now that he’s so old,” Hongbin shot back, smirking when Yoongi groaned, banging the back of his head against the wall.
“No, please don’t do that. He’ll start bothering me about it too,” Yoongi said. “I’ll just play with you, as long as you put up with my complaining the entire time.”
“Well,” Hongbin said, pushing his feet out so they rested in Yoongi’s lap, “I do that every day anyway, so that’s not a problem.”
Yoongi ran a finger down the arch of Hongbin’s foot, making him kick out in surprise, coming close to Yoongi’s crotch. Yoongi slapped his shin and Hongbin just grinned, not sorry.
“You know, I never imagined that this would be my life when I met you,” Yoongi said, causing Hongbin to drop his smile into something a little softer, his eyes warm. “I never imagined that our friendship would last. We became very different people, but somehow, even through very different paths, we ended up in the same place, together.”
“Why are you all sappy?” Hongbin asked, but his voice was soft.
“Who knows,” Yoongi said, shrugging. “Somehow I came to love you, even if you’ve always been a brat.”
“Well, love works in strange ways,” Hongbin said. “But loving me isn’t surprising. Everyone loves me. Now, me loving you…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yoongi asked, pinching at Hongbin’s feet.
“Just, you know. I somehow came to… love you and… yeah,” Hongbin trailed off awkwardly.
“Good,” Yoongi said. He gripped Hongbin’s ankle in his hand before letting go. “Now let’s move on from this conversation. How’s preparation for your concert coming?” Hongbin rolled his eyes at the change, but humored Yoongi anyway, telling him about his day.
--
For some reason, Hongbin’s parents decided that they needed to take a day trip to Daegu. Hongbin hated long car rides and sulked the entire time, mad that he had to go along with them and his sisters. His sisters were close to each other, but being so much older than him, he felt like he didn’t fit in with his family.
Hongbin was tired and cranky, playing up his emotions even more so that his parents would know how displeased he was with this mini-vacation.
“Fine, Hongbin,” his mom finally said. “Would you promise to stop complaining for the rest of the day if we get you a new toy? There’s a shop right there and you can pick out something you like.”
Hongbin thought about it, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, before finally agreeing. His mom grabbed his hand and dragged him into the store.
“I’ll be standing near the registers here. Find a toy and come back quickly, okay?” she asked. Hongbin promised then raced off, trying to find something he would like.
He wandered from aisle to aisle, looking for anything new and exciting, but everything looked the same as it did in Seoul. After five aisles of disappointment, he walked down another aisle and saw a boy around his age standing alone, contemplating a shelf carefully.
“What are you looking at?” Hongbin asked curiously. The boy pointed to a set of legos with a picture of a ship on the box. But it wasn’t the box that caught Hongbin’s eye, it was what was next to it.
“Wait, no, you really don’t want that,” Hongbin said, pushing the boy’s arm down. “Legos are boring. Have you ever heard of Yugioh?”
The boy shook his head before letting out a quiet “no.”
“Do you not watch TV or have friends? Everyone knows Yugioh.” The boy opened his mouth to say something, but Hongbin put a hand over his mouth, giving him a stern look. “Please don’t make excuses. I’m about to save your life.”
Hongbin jumped up, trying to grab the pack of cards that were next to the legos. It took him two tries, but he finally managed it, the cards falling to the floor. He quickly bent down to pick them up before handing them to the other kid.
“These are Duel Monsters cards. It’s a super fun game and you can play with all your friends. I just started a month ago, but I’m getting really good. I even beat stupid Bumsoo the other day. This game is huge right now. If you don’t play, you’ll never have any friends.”
The other boy nodded slowly, looking at Hongbin with wide eyes. Hongbin just patted him on the head before grabbing the box of legos he was looking at. As he was walking away, he shouted back to the boy who was still standing, just staring at Hongbin.
“When you get good, come find me! Let’s play together someday!”
And they did.
Notes: What did you think? Please let me know! I had a blast writing this.
Summary: When Hongbin and Yoongi saw each other for the first time in 8 years at a broadcasting station, they had to look away and pretend not to know each other. After all, who would want to reveal their dark past as duelists in Duel Monster tournaments? Not a crack!fic
Rating: M
Words: 15.7k
Also on AO3
Yoongi and Hongbin met eyes for the first time in eight years backstage at Show Champion when BTS decided they were going to perform a rap for Vixx. It took a few seconds of staring before they realized who the other was; they had both changed some looks-wise, and it had been eight years, but they would recognize the other’s face anywhere. As soon as Hongbin saw Yoongi’s eyes widen and figured out that he recognized him, he turned his head to look at anyone but him. Everyone in BTS was excitable, happy to perform something for their seniors, so Hongbin easily found other people to smile at, anything to not look at Yoongi.
The thing was, they were good friends for several years. They didn’t fight, or have a falling out, they just lost contact after their careers as duelists in Duel Monsters tournaments ended, and no one wants to bring up that dark past again.
--
“Hey, Yoongi! Yoongi!” Hongbin shouted, waving his hands and trying to catch Yoongi’s eyes through the crowded room. It took a minute of shouting and jumping up and down for Yoongi to see him, but he smiled indulgently and walked over, giving Hongbin a hug.
“Guess who just got some new Monarchs to add to his deck?” Hongbin asked, smiling widely.
Yoongi pretended to think, tapping a knuckle on his chin and humming. “I don’t know, is it Kiseok?”
Hongbin barked out a laugh and slapped him on the upper arm.
“As if. Everyone knows that Kiseok attempts to use a Ritual Monsters deck. Why he doesn’t just give up, I don’t know. He sucks at it. Maybe that’s the reason he’s only ranked 12th in Korea?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Someday, Kiseok is going to beat you and you’re going to drop in rank and then realize he’s actually an okay duelist.”
Hongbin just scoffed, not believing that Kiseok could ever beat him. “His higher powered monsters are no match for my monarchs. And now that I reorganized my deck to make room for my new cards, he has an even lower chance on beating me.”
“What did you add?” Yoongi asked, curious. He was only really close to Hongbin, though all the duelists in Korea knew each other to some extent. Whenever they saw each other at tournaments, they would hang out and eat together during their downtime. But ultimately, Yoongi lived in Daegu, and Hongbin in Seoul, so they didn’t meet up as much as friends should.
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Hongbin said, not giving any advantage away.
“Well, I added some new cards too, so you’ll just have to wait until we duel to find out which ones. And when I beat you, you better not sulk for two months like you did last time,” Yoongi responded.
It was true. Most of the times they dueled, Yoongi won with his Burn deck, cutting through Hongbin’s life points effectively. But the last time they dueled, Hongbin had added several cards to his deck in an attempt to counter Yoongi’s constant drain of life points. In the end, Yoongi still won, making Hongbin go through an existential crisis about whether he was actually a good duelist or not. It lasted two months and effected his standing in Korea negatively when he failed to get in the top 10 for two tournaments in a row.
“You know, we might not even face each other,” Hongbin pointed out. They were on opposite sides of the tournament bracket, so they would either not meet at all, meet for the 3rd/4th place match, or the championship.
Yoongi just rolled his eyes and waved off Hongbin’s statement. “Yeah right. Have some faith in my abilities. I’m going to get a medal in this tournament, especially since Changwoon is off competing in Japan and Dongwon is taking entrance exams. We both have a good chance at coming first.”
“Why, Min Yoongi,” Hongbin gasped, “was that actually a compliment? For my dueling abilities?”
Yoongi blushed slightly and shook his head. “No, just, have a little more faith, Hongbin. We’re friends, we need to stick together.”
They both cringed at his words and avoided looking at each other. When the announcement came over the intercom, asking duelists to find their seats for the first round, they exchanged glances and nodded at each other in silent support.
The two of them did end up facing each other for the 3rd place. To no one’s surprise, Yoongi took the bronze medal and Hongbin came in 4th.
--
With BTS’s debut with No More Dream, and Vixx’s comeback with Hyde, the two groups saw each other occasionally as they walked down the hallways of the broadcasting station. Hongbin found himself watching the TV in the waiting room whenever he heard the opening notes of No More Dream, trying to catch a glimpse of his once friend.
Yoongi was the same. He never paid much attention to Vixx before debut, having no need to; he wasn’t into idol groups and wasn’t into pop music. But since discovering that his childhood friend was in the group, he watched their performances while waiting.
“You’re paying close attention to them now, Yoongi,” Seokjin noted one day, watching Yoongi out of the corner of his eye as he watched Hyde. “You know, Ravi is your age. I know your rap styles are different, but you two could become friends. Maybe get yourself out of the studio for a while and actually socialize like a normal person.”
Yoongi frowned. “Since when are you paying attention enough to actually know their ages?”
Seokjin just rolled his eyes. “Wow, such disrespect for your hyung. Jaehwan, er, Ken is my age. He approached me the other day and said hi. We’ve been talking.”
“I don’t need you to help me make friends. And I’m not interested. I’m just bored of doing nothing while waiting for us to go on. Who knew that idols did more waiting than performing in their life time?”
Seokjin just nodded with a smile, humoring him. “Okay, fine. I’ll leave you alone to your boring life.”
Yoongi turned back to the TV, noting that Vixx was no longer performing, and just put his earbuds in, turning on some rap to calm him down.
Ten minutes later, he went to the bathroom, announcing it quietly to his manager when asked where he was going. He kept his earbuds in as he walked, bowing politely to the people he passed on the way.
When he zipped up and was washing his hands, he looked in the mirror and saw familiar eyes, lined with black, staring back at him.
“Long time no see,” Hongbin said quietly as he, too, washed his hands.
“Yeah,” Yoongi replied, “long time no see.”
They stood awkwardly at the sinks, staring at each other through the mirror as they washed their hands for a lot longer than necessary.
“Are you going to keep ignoring me?” Hongbin asked him, a strange tone to his voice as he finally turned off the sink and turned to look at Yoongi. “I was waiting for you to approach me sometime while our promotions overlapped, but you didn’t. I had to come find you instead.”
“You got more handsome,” Yoongi finally said, causing Hongbin to scrunch his nose in distaste, looking how he did when he was younger and found something unbearable.
“I know. So did you,” Hongbin replied. “All idols are handsome, even if they aren’t. It’s the makeup and the hair.”
“That’s not a compliment, is it?” Yoongi asked, frowning at the words. Apparently Hongbin was just as sarcastic now as he was when they were younger too.
Hongbin just shrugged. “It’s whatever you want it to mean. Besides, it’s true. You are more handsome now than you were, especially with the permed hair. It’s better than the fauxhawk you used to attempt to do with way more hair gel than necessary.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Look who’s talking. You always did the exact same thing. And your hair is permed now too.”
The two just stared at each other, unsure how to continue. The bickering that used to define their friendship 8 years ago was still present, but there was an extra layer of awkwardness from too much time spent apart. When they finally broke the stare, Yoongi just left the bathroom without glancing back. As he walked down the hallway, he could hear the slight clack of Hongbin’s footsteps following him. It was a relief when he heard them stop and a door open and close. Only then could he breathe properly again.
--
They met when they were both 10 at a tournament. It was Yoongi’s third tournament, and first away from Daegu. His mom drove him to Seoul at 5 in the morning, and when they walked to the building the tournament was being held at, they saw a small boy, around Yoongi’s age, standing outside, staring at the doors with trepidation.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi’s mom asked the boy. He turned around to look at her and smiled a bright smile, dimples set deep in his cheeks.
“Hello, ma’am. I’m fine just… waiting. To enter,” he responded as he turned back to look at the doors.
“Where is your mom?” she asked, looking up and down the street as if the woman would pop up at any moment and claim her son. The boy just waved her off.
“I’m here by myself. I just took the subway from my house.” He turned to Yoongi and gave him a smile too. “Are you competing in the tournament?” he asked. Yoongi blinked.
“Yeah. It’s my third one, but my first in Seoul. Do you compete a lot?” he asked. The boy shook his head.
“Nah, this is my first tournament. I’m so excited though. I stayed up all night preparing my deck. I’m Hongbin, what’s your name?”
“I’m Yoongi,” he responded, then gestured to his mom. “This is my mom.”
“It’s very nice to meet you Hongbin. Do you want to come in with us?” she asked, gesturing to the doors.
“Yeah, do you mind?” Hongbin asked. “I kind of need an adult to sign me in, but my parents are working so I’ve been waiting to find someone who looked nice. Could you please help me?” He gave her another smile, showcasing his dimples.
“Of course, Hongbin. Come with us. I’ll sign you two up.”
Hongbin followed them into the building, chatting lightly with Yoongi while they walked.
“So, how old are you?” Yoongi asked Hongbin, turning his head to talk to him.
“I’m 10, born in 1993,” Hongbin said, noticing Yoongi’s eyes widen when he responded. “I’m guessing you are as well?” he asked. Yoongi nodded.
“How lucky,” Yoongi’s mom said, listening to their conversation. “Hopefully you two can be good friends.”
“Sorry, ma’am, but I’m planning on being his rival,” Hongbin retorted, giving her a thumbs up before turning to Yoongi. “What kind of deck to you duel with?”
“A Burn deck,” Yoongi said, then frowned when he noticed Hongbin roll his eyes. “What? I can’t have a burn deck?”
“It fits you,” Hongbin said. “You know, you can tell a lot about a person based on their deck. Have you always used a Burn deck, or did you switch now that they’re getting popular?”
Yoongi huffed and rolled his eyes at the other boy. “I’ve always had this deck. Let me guess, you’re a Big City deck.”
Hongbin shook his head. “Just because I live in Seoul? Also, does it look like I like heroes?” he asked, sounding disappointed. “Come on, you can do better than that.”
Yoongi thought for another minute, running through lists of cards in his head, trying to connect them with the boy he just started to know.
“You have a Monarch deck,” Yoongi said, confident with his answer.
“What gave it away?” Hongbin asked with a grin. “My stunning good looks?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Your narcissism.”
“Boys,” Yoongi’s mom said, warning them in case they started fighting. But Hongbin just grinned at her.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Min,” he said, “I think we’ll get along great.”
--
Hongbin and Yoongi would occasionally see each other at an event, but other than a quick glance, they didn’t interact in any way. It took a full year and both Hongbin and Yoongi getting phones before they talked to each other again after their meeting in the bathroom.
They ran into each other onstage during the ending of one of the year-end award shows. It was a mess of people, idols constantly bowing to each other and waving to their fans, trying to stay with their members, but somehow being separated anyway. During the confusion, somehow Hongbin and Yoongi found themselves standing next to each other.
“Error’s a good song,” Yoongi said to him, staring straight into the crowd, avoiding Hongbin’s eyes.
“So is War of Hormone, but I think we’re better than small talk, aren’t we?” Hongbin asked, not looking at Yoongi either.
“Wow, I didn’t know that you could get meaner with age,” Yoongi responded. “You were a pretty awful kid.”
“So were you.” They turned and grinned at each other.
“Look, Hongbin,” Yoongi said, “Can we exchange numbers? It’s kind of silly that somehow both of us went from being… what we were and ending up here, and yet we don’t talk. We used to be pretty good friends.”
“Can’t even say how we know each other in public, can you?” Hongbin asked. “It’s too…”
“Embarrassing,” they both said at the same time.
“Does Vixx even know what you used to do?” Yoongi asked, tilting his head slightly to ask. “You’ve cultivated this pretty boy image to the masses, but they really don’t know you, do they?”
“I bet you haven’t said it either,” Hongbin replied. “You’ve created a mysterious, smart, hardworking rapper image that has no space for being a major geek. No one would believe me even if I showed them pictures of you with your deck.”
“If those pictures somehow make their way to the fans, I will murder you,” Yoongi said, still giving a small smile. “And I will take you down with me.”
They both spotted Wonshik and Hakyeon walking up to where they were standing at the same time and quickly took a step apart.
“Meet me in the bathroom once you’re done, okay?” Yoongi asked, already backing away. “Let’s exchange phone numbers.”
Hongbin gave a quick nod, showing that he understood, before walking to meet his members. Yoongi looked around, trying to spot his members in the crowd, but could barely see the top of Namjoon’s head. What looked like Seokjin’s head was also close by, so Yoongi weaved himself through the masses to join them.
Twenty-five minutes later, Yoongi finally made it to the bathroom. There were a couple other idols in there, some still in their stage outfits, and they quickly exchanged nods in greeting. Yoongi went to a urinal to relieve himself, and while he was washing his hands, the bathroom emptied.
It took several more minutes before Hongbin entered, already out of his stage outfit and half his makeup taken off.
“You sure took your time,” Yoongi said to him from where he was leaning against the wall, fiddling with his phone.
“Yeah, well Hakyeon-hyung was bothering me about some stuff and I had to tell him that I was about to shit my pants so he would let me go.”
“Let’s hurry up then. My members probably think I have diarrhea or something. I’ve been in here for like 5 minutes,” Yoongi said, putting out a hand so Hongbin would pass his phone over.
“I’m saving you as Yoongioh, just so you know,” Hongbin said once he had his phone back. Yoongi coughed once in distaste, rolling his eyes.
“Can I never escape that nickname? The first time you called me that, I almost punched you. If my mom wasn’t there, I would have.”
“It was like you were born to play Duel Monsters,” Hongbin said, for what was probably the hundredth time. Whenever Hongbin wanted to annoy Yoongi, or thought he was getting too cocky, he would always bring him back down to earth with that nickname.
“If any of your members see that, you’re dead,” Yoongi threatened. “I’m saving you as Narcissistic Monarch. At least there’s no chance of people connecting that name to you.”
“So, we’re not telling anyone that we’re friends or that we’re talking? Is that what’s happening?” Hongbin asked, raising an eyebrow.
Yoongi shrugged.
“Honestly, we have very different personalities. There’s no reason for us to be friends and I don’t want to explain that we’ve known each other for a while. We’re not even from the same hometown. It’s too much of a hassle.”
Hongbin shrugged back at him. “Fine, Lazy. But this will backfire. Everyone’s eventually gonna find out. I spend way too much time with my members to keep this a secret for long.”
“We’ll figure something out when that happens,” Yoongi said. “I should go now, before Seokjin comes looking for me. Text me, okay?”
Hongbin nodded and waved him away, going over to the urinal himself to pee before heading back to his members.
--
After exchanging numbers, they started texting pretty regularly. Neither of them were the people they used to be, 8 years would change anyone, so finding out about their old friend’s new hobbies was an interesting activity.
To Yoongioh: Let’s play basketball together. When are you free?
To Narcissistic Monarch: Who knows. Also, who told you I play basketball?
To Yoongioh: Your fans on the internet. I happen to be pretty good myself. 1 on 1?
To Narcissistic Monarch: You know a secluded court? I’ll look at my schedule.
To Yoongioh: Yeah, I got one.
The only free time the two had together was a week later. Yoongi usually spent his free days in the studio, working on whatever he could and ignoring the outside world. Hongbin usually spent any free time he had playing with his members or practicing singing. Both of them hadn’t played basketball in a long time.
“Why is it so cold out?” Yoongi asked. “It’s the middle of the day.” He was dressed in basketball shorts and a long sleeve shirt, shivering while he stood on the court. Hongbin had dressed a little smarter in long pants, but even he looked cold.
“It’s February,” Hongbin said, deadpan. He grabbed the basketball from where he dropped it on the ground earlier and started dribbling in place, the ball marking an even sound on the pavement.
“What are the rules?” Yoongi asked as he swung his arms across his body, warming them up.
“Half court. First one to 30 wins?” Hongbin asked. Yoongi nodded and Hongbin passed him the ball, immediately following it with his body as he tried to steal the ball back. But Yoongi expertly got out of the way and ran up to the basket to do a layup.
“Looks like that’s two for me,” Yoongi said, laughing at Hongbin’s narrowed eyes.
They played two games together. Yoongi won the first game by a small margin, inciting the competitive spirit in Hongbin, who then won the second game.
“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever won against me,” Yoongi said when Hongbin had turned a proud smile toward him after his win. “You always come close, but fall just short.”
“Stop. Duel Monsters is different. We’ve never played basketball together before, and right now our score is tied. Besides, who here actually falls short?” Hongbin asked, looking down on Yoongi.
“Ugh,” Yoongi groaned. “We used to be the same height too. Who knew that skinny, sarcastic kid would turn into a skinny, sarcastic, tall adult.”
“Yeah,” Hongbin said, smiling a little sadly. It was disconcerting to see that look on his face, as Hongbin always put up a happy front, no matter what he was feeling.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked softly.
“Of course,” Hongbin said. “Just, a lot happened back then. I wasn’t very safe as a kid and was constantly doing reckless things. I’m actually surprised I became an adult at all, never mind a, what did you call me? A skinny, sarcastic, tall one.”
There were a few moments of silence as they sat on the court, staring at nothing.
“My mom was always worried,” Yoongi said suddenly, breaking the silence. “She always wondered what happened to you. If you weren’t at a tournament we were at, she would wonder if you had gotten sick, or in trouble with the cops, or died. She kept an eye on the papers for a few years after I had stopped dueling. She always said she wanted to keep up with the news in Seoul, but I know she was checking to see if you were alright. No news was better than not knowing.”
They were quiet for a few more minutes, sweat from the games chilling their skin, but they still sat quietly.
“She’d probably be surprised that you’re an idol, actually,” Yoongi said, finally speaking up again. “I should probably tell her.”
“If you want,” Hongbin said, shrugging. “I, on the other hand, always knew you’d be a rapper. I was expecting you to pop up any day.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Hongbin nodded. “I kept an eye out for any Yoongi’s in the underground rap community, but you never showed up. I guess you had a stage name.” Yoongi nodded. “I am surprised you became an idol, though.”
“You were really keeping an eye out for me?” Yoongi asked, tone skeptical. “Why?”
“Because I knew you’d be a rapper.”
--
“Yoongi! Mama Min, thank goodness I found you,” said a voice, coming from behind Yoongi. He turned around and found Hongbin running up to them. They had become good friends in the past half a year, seeing each other in Seoul whenever there was a tournament, but it was strange hearing his voice in Daegu.
“Hongbin!” Yoongi’s mom said, giving him a smile. “So nice to see you again. You’re competing in the Daegu Cup today?”
“Yup! It’s my first tournament outside of Seoul. I’m so excited,” Hongbin replied, grinning brightly at her. He then turned to Yoongi and held out a hand, giving Yoongi a high-five when he did the same.
“Did you run ahead of your parents?” Yoongi’s mom asked, staring in the direction Hongbin ran from but not really seeing people old enough to be his parents walking their way.
“No, they’re in Seoul. I took the train, and then the bus to get here. Can you sign me in again?” Hongbin asked politely, staring at her with wide eyes. She sighed.
“Sure, Hongbin-ah,” she said. “Come on you two, let’s go.”
While they walked over to the sign-in table, Yoongi whispered to Hongbin. “Do your parents even know you’re here?” he asked, keeping quiet in case his mom would overhear.
“Oh course they don’t,” Hongbin said. “I told them I was going to a friend’s house for a sleepover and that I’d be back in the morning. I’m probably just going to sleep in the train station when I get back to Seoul and then hop on an early morning bus back home. They’ll never find out.”
“Are you an idiot?” Yoongi asked, a little louder than he intended. His mom turned back and gave him a look. He lowered his voice. “You’ll be thrown out of the station. And kids get kidnapped all the time, especially when their parents don’t know where they are.”
Hongbin just waved a hand. “It’s not going to happen. I’ve done it before. The guards don’t really care, as long as I’m not making trouble.”
Yoongi glared at him then jogged a little so that he caught up with his mom. “Hey Mom?” he asked. “Can Hongbin sleep over tonight?”
“Sorry, Mama Min,” Hongbin said as he lined up with them. “Yoongi just wants to hang out with me some more. We never see each other outside of tournaments, but I already told him my parents are expecting me at home.”
“Nonsense,” Yoongi’s mom said. “Especially if it’s late, I don’t want you taking the train back all by yourself. I’ll call your parents and explain what’s happening later. I’m sure they won’t mind.” She muttered that last sentence to herself.
Hongbin elbowed Yoongi in the ribs, causing him to buckle over in pain.
“Ow, your elbows are bony,” he said, rubbing at his side.
“Why did you tell her that?” Hongbin hissed at him, voice low so his mother couldn’t hear. “Now she’s actually going to call my mom.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Just tell her you called them during a break from matches and they already agreed. As you said, your parents will never find out.”
After the tournament ended, Yoongi’s mom drove them back to their home, leaving them to their own devices while she went to go make dinner.
“And this is my room,” Yoongi said, gesturing around him. It was kind of small, but Hongbin liked it, immediately going to the bed and flopping down on it, tired after a long day.
“Are those all your dueling awards?” Hongbin asked, pointing at a shelf across from the bed. He turned his head to Yoongi, who nodded.
“Yeah. Not quite as full as I want yet, but I’m getting there. I want to start getting into top 3 in about 6 months.”
“Well,” Hongbin replied, “You can’t leave your rival behind. I’ll have to keep you company at the top. I just need to save up some more money and buy some better trap cards. I want Escalation of the Monarchs and Pot of Duality, but I haven’t found them in any of the packs I’ve bought yet. I need to find a job to buy them off of someone.”
“You’re not even 11 yet. Who would hire you?” Yoongi asked.
“You’d be surprised how many jobs there are in Seoul for someone who’s 10. You just work for very cheap and they pay you under the table. I’ve done it before,” Hongbin said, waving off Yoongi’s worries. It only made him worry more.
“Just be careful, Hongbin. You should be worrying about school and Duel Monsters, not making money.”
Hongbin just nodded and stood up from the bed, heading over to the bookcase to stare at Yoongi’s awards. Eventually his eyes made their way to the CDs, focusing on the titles.
“What are these?” Hongbin asked, grabbing several of them and waving them around. “They’re all in English.”
“Stop waving them,” Yoongi said, reaching for them and taking them back from Hongbin. “It’s just some American hip hop.”
“Let me see again,” Hongbin demanded, holding out his hand. Yoongi handed them back to him, watching as Hongbin squinted at the artists.
“I’ve never heard of any of these people. Who is 50cent? And Lil’ Kim? Or… Outkast? Why do they have such strange names?”
“Shut up,” Yoongi muttered, grabbing the CDs again and putting them back on the shelf, carefully reorganizing them so that they returned to their original place. “I just really like it. America is doing some great hip hop and rap. It’s really cool.”
“Huh,” Hongbin said, staring at Yoongi, his eyes wide. “Can you rap?” he asked, head tilted to the side.
“Um, I suck at rapping in English,” Yoongi said as he looked back to his CD shelf, eyes roaming the titles. “But I can rap some in Korean.”
“Show me,” Hongbin said.
After Yoongi’s rap, Hongbin just clapped, his eyes still wide. “That was so good,” he said. “Who originally sang it?”
Yoongi scratched at the back of his head, feeling a little overwhelmed at the appreciation coming from his friend. “Um, I did.”
“You should become a professional,” Hongbin said, his tone serious, but Yoongi just waved it off.
“Yeah right. No one in Korea is really producing this kind of music right now.”
“But they will,” Hongbin insisted, his hands waving around his body. “I mean, it’s growing popular in America, and will eventually become more popular here. Besides, you’re 11 years old, there’s plenty of time. You haven’t even finished elementary school yet!”
“Maybe,” Yoongi said, not really believing what Hongbin was saying. “Come on, let’s go eat dinner.”
--
“So,” Seokjin said loudly, startling Yoongi out of his thoughts. He turned his head and glared slightly at his hyung, wondering why he was bothering him.
“What?” he asked, a little rudely. Seokjin just raised his hands in front of him and smiled.
“So,” Seokjin repeated, “Who have you been texting recently?”
Yoongi opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Seokjin.
“And don’t say nobody, because I went into your studio one time to ask you a question and you weren’t working, just smiling at your phone and texting and completely missed me standing in the doorway for 3 minutes. So I’m going to ask again,” he said, “who have you been texting?”
“It’s just a friend, hyung,” Yoongi replied, sighing. “Nothing you need to worry about. I don’t see why you all of a sudden need to know who I’m texting.”
“Who’s Yoongi-hyung texting?” Jimin suddenly asked, a lot closer to Yoongi than he was a minute ago and drawing the attention of the other members. “Does he suddenly have friends outside of the group?”
“Shut up, brat,” Yoongi complained, pushing at Jimin, but he wasn’t bothered and just used his ridiculous strength to stay put. “I have plenty of friends outside of BTS.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok said, “that you knew from before debut.” Yoongi froze at that. “You are constantly working and never actually go out and socialize unless someone drags you.”
“Is that suddenly a bad thing?” Yoongi asked. “Should I stop working on songs for us?”
“No no,” Seokjin hurried to reassure him. “Just, you know. You have a friend?”
“Yeah,” he said, eyes trying to find an escape. Finding none, and with six people staring at him, he gave up. “You know Hongbin?” he asked them.
There was several moments of silence, eyes blinking to try and remember the name.
“From Vixx?” Seokjin and Taehyung shouted at the same time, brains working hard to connect what they knew about Hongbin to his own character, and coming up short.
“How did that happen?” Seokjin asked, his tone confused.
Yoongi tried to come up with a good backstory, but his brain wasn’t thinking fast enough. He thought Vixx would be the one to confront Hongbin first and he would come up with a story that Yoongi could later use. He was always good at coming up with stories.
“Oh, you know,” Yoongi started. “He just approached me one day and…” he silently apologized to Hongbin, “asked me out.”
There was a moment of complete silence.
“We’re dating.”
There was an uproar.
--
“What? Hongbin?” Jaehwan suddenly yelled in the van, causing the members to hit him and tell him to keep his voice down. Taekwoon woke up and slapped him before putting his earbuds back in and trying to fall asleep.
“Hongbin,” Jaehwan said again, turning around and poking his leg. “What’s this I hear about you dating someone?”
There was a beat of silence.
“I’m sorry?” Hongbin asked, confused with the question. Hakyeon had turned around, curious about the drama happening behind him.
“Hongbin’s dating someone?” Hakyeon asked, pulling out his phone to search for rumors. “Who did they pair him with?”
“BTS Jin texted me. You know how we’re 92 line besties together, right?” Jaehwan asked. They all nodded, hearing something like that at some point. “Well apparently, he heard from Yoongi, erh, Suga from BTS that Hongbin and him are dating.”
Hongbin closed his eyes and rubbed at his head, already feeling a headache approaching. All of the members, except Taekwoon who was still pretending to be asleep, were staring at him, eyes questioning.
“Ha ha,” Hongbin laughed sarcastically, already ready to kill Yoongi. “Yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you all. Yoongi and I are dating.”
“Really?” Jaehwan asked, staring at Hongbin’s face. “Why, though? You could do so much better. He’s short. And not that handsome. You deserve at least Wonbin.”
“Wow, rude much?” Wonshik asked, speaking for the first time since the news, glaring at Jaehwan for probably the first time in his life.
“Yoongi is cute,” Hongbin said, already regretting corroborating Yoongi’s story. “He has a nice smile. And he’s super smart. We’re also pretty similar.”
I’m also going to kill him, Hongbin thought, as he rubbed his head.
--
To Yoongioh: So, I heard we’re dating now
To Narcissistic Monarch: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.
To Yoongioh: You owe me big time. Like, actually paying for me if we go out, like a boyfriend would.
To Narcissistic Monarch: Yeah, shit, fine. I messed up. I’ll be a good fake boyfriend to you.
To Yoongioh: That’s really all I wanted.
--
“Where are they?” Hongbin muttered to himself as he paced back and forth in the entrance of the building, rubbing his head. He was in Changwon for a tournament, but was waiting for Yoongi and his mom before going in. Finally, giving up on them, he made his way to the sign-in table.
“Has Min Yoongi signed in yet?” Hongbin asked the woman at the table, trying to take a peek at the names on the list in front of her. He shifted from side to side while she looked down the list.
“Sorry, it looks like that person is not on the list,” she said. “Can I help you with something?”
Hongbin blinked, then leaned forward over the table. “That can’t be right. He told me he was coming to this tournament. Can you check again?”
The woman sighed but checked again, running her eyes over the list of names.
“I’m really sorry, but I don’t see him. Are you competing?”
“Yeah,” Hongbin said, thinking hard. “I’m just waiting for my guardian. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He didn’t wait for any acknowledgement before he walked away and headed back near the entrance. When he saw a nice, elderly woman walk in, he quickly made his way over to her.
“Hi, excuse me, grandmother,” Hongbin said, smiling at the woman as she turned her head. “I have a question, do you mind if I bother you for a moment?”
“Of course not, go ahead, young man,” the older woman said.
“You see, my mother isn’t feeling well and is in the bathroom, but I need someone to sign me in because I’m participating in a tournament with other kids around my age. Would you mind helping me to sign in?”
The woman smiled at his dimples and reached a hand out to pat his head. “Of course not. Take me to where you need to be.”
Once Hongbin was safely inside the room where the tournament was being held, he looked around, trying to see if he could find Yoongi, but he didn’t. When he came in second and turned to his side to show off his award to Yoongi and Yoongi’s mom, he frowned when he remembered they weren’t there.
The small trophy didn’t fit in his bag, so Hongbin held the trophy on his lap for the bus ride back home. He glared at his hands as he held his trophy, lamenting the fact that he wasn’t able to see his friend, even though Yoongi promised that he would be at the tournament in Changwon.
As usual when the tournament was far away, Hongbin had told his parents that he was staying at a friend’s house overnight. When he arrived back in Seoul, he found a chair in the waiting room of the bus station and curled up on it, close enough to a family to avoid suspicion, at least for a little while. However, several hours later he was woken up by a police officer shaking his shoulder and telling him to go home.
Hongbin took a late bus home and just stared at the doorway to their apartment for a few minutes before finally working up the courage to enter. When he did, he was relieved to see that his parents were either already in bed, or out. As he walked through the seemingly empty apartment, he felt a sense of deep loneliness which was only cured when he got into his room, shut the door, and placed his new trophy on his desk. Hongbin stared at it for a few minutes before getting ready for bed, excited that whenever he would see Yoongi again, he could tell him that he came in second place.
But Yoongi didn’t make it to the next tournament either. Nor the one after that. Nor the one after that.
After that, Hongbin stopped attending too. He pushed his deck into the back of one of his drawers and stopped playing Duel Monsters. Somehow, it wasn’t fun anymore.
