Could I request a prompt where Faith had lived and been stolen by Raymond as a baby. What if she comes back into Claire and Jaimeâs lives while theyâre in Paris (while Claire is in L'HĂŽpital visiting her grave) and boards the Artemis with them. She ends up with Claire on Porpoise and saves the life of Elisa Pound. He then accompanies her to the Governorâs Ball and helps her family rescue Ian? Thank you so much for writing such amazing imagines! I really liked Mod Marlos In The Depth Of The Sea!
Hi Nonnie!
Thank you so much for your kind words and your request! ITDOTS is still one of the things iâm proudest of, and I hope I get to go back and continue it the way Iâve always planned.
I really love this prompt, and itâs a project I would love to take on in the near future! Unfortunately before I can tackle any creative writing, Iâve got to research and write a 6,000 word uni paper, and start revision for my exams. Itâs also been a long time since Iâve written any fic, so I might be a tad rusty, and need to go back and refresh my memory on some Season 2 and 3 moments.
Given the current state of things, itâs likely that once I get my coursework done, Iâll have lots of free time on my hands, so stay tuned, and hopefully Iâll have something for you within the coming weeks or months (sorry if the wait drags out!)
And please donât be afraid to harass me if Iâm taking too long!
iâve never really done this before, but considering iâve gotten nowhere with this fic for five months and people want more of it (as do i, trust me)
would you guys mind inboxing me (internallydeceased) ideas or things you would like to see in this story? doesnât have to be the next chapter in particular, but that would be appreciated!
iâve never really done this before, but considering iâve gotten nowhere with this fic for five months and people want more of it (as do i, trust me)
would you guys mind inboxing me (internallydeceased) ideas or things you would like to see in this story? doesnât have to be the next chapter in particular, but that would be appreciated!
Are you going to write anymore chapters for Begin Again... if you there please respond
yes i absolutely will be writing more chapters for Begin Again. Itâs far from over, but as iâve said before i canât say when there will be more because of person reasons. thank you for being so patient though, iâm sorry iâm making you wait đ
So this is a new au that Iâve been wanting to do for a while now. The diagnosis that Smokey receives is what my dog Mickey was recently diagnosed with in real life. I wonât say what it is yet since I havenât revealed it in the story, but itâs not good and Iâve been having to deal with the thought of losing him in the next few years or so. Heâs only eight. Another reason why Iâve been MIA is that Iâve been in one of the worst depressive relapses (including a lot of suicidal thoughts) of my life and his diagnosis hasnât helped any. On top of that Iâve had this cold for over two months which doesnât help either. (Iâve been to the doctor, they said I was fine). I was in a vet tech program as well and that was another reason why I wanted to do a vet au, since I was going into the veterinary field (I still might, but at this point in time I canât deal with any of it right now). So this is something thatâs very close to me and I hope you all enjoy :)
What Makes Us Human
She drove through the streets of Inverness as tears streamed down her face, much like the rain pouring outside. She looked over to the passenger seat where all she saw was a pink tongue lolling out of the black shadow beside her. âItâs going to be okay, baby I promise.â She sobbed, feeling her gut twisting and turning, already fearing the worst. .
Smokey gave her hand a reassuring lick, before returning his attention to the speeding world outside.
3 weeks earlier
âHey bud, time for breakfast!â Claire muttered absently to the furry black mass laying beside her on the bed, while she ruefully extricated herself from under the security and warmth of the coverlet.
Normally, he would come running at the sound of his kibble being poured into the metallic bowl. Today though, Smokey only raised from his spot on the queen bed to turn around and plop down again in a decidedly more comfortable position.
âStill not feeling good?â Claire let out a small sigh and placed the bowl on the ground next to his water dish. âWell, itâs here whenever you decide youâre hungry.â
Claire went on to make her own breakfast: A piece of buttered toast and the last of the orange juice. She frowned as she looked into her refrigerator, a few half-empty bottles of various liquids were the only thing besides the off-white shelves.
She picked up one of the bottles, opened it and gave it a quick whiff, scrunching her nose at the smell and promptly throwing it in the trash. âDefinitely time for more groceries.â Claire shook the liquid off her hands and turned her attention back to her breakfast.
She moved over to the small couch in her living room, conveniently just off the kitchenette of her small-ish flat. She settled in and started going through her phone.
Almost as if the object knew it had her attention, she received a text message.
âWhat is it now, Geillis.â Claire groaned and rolled her eyes, but opened the message anyway.
Hey doll, I know itâs your day off and I hate to be the one to ask, but could you come in? There was a pile-up on the parkway and weâre a bit short staffed. Could really use the help! Â
In usual Geillis fashion she ended the message with the kissing emoji.
Claire let out a deep sigh, getting up from the comfy spot on the couch and took a moment to stretch and hear the satisfying little âpopsâ of her bones.
After she had gotten ready and was about to head out the door, she noticed Smokey still hadnât come to eat his breakfast, which wasnât like him. Claire brushed it off to him just having  another off-day, and went out the door.
probably not what people want to hear since i still havenât made any progress on the other two fics i already have in progress but... GET READY FOR A NEW AU TOMORROW
and a bunch of personal shit as to why iâve been gone that also ties into the au
Marlo-will you post more chapters of In the Depths of the Sea?
I would absolutely love to write more of In the Depth of the Sea. ITDOTS was my baby, and the first piece fo writing I ever did for the Outlander fandom.
Unfortunately, being in my second year of University has really cut down the amount of time I have to write. I really need to take the time to sit down and plan the direction I want ITDOTS to go in before I truly begin tackling it. This story means so much to me, so I want it to be perfect, and I really do hope to get back to it soon, when the time is right!
At that moment her pager went off, announcing that she was needed elsewhere. She looked at it and frowned, returning her attention back to Jamie
âWell, thatâs my cue. If I donât see you before youâre discharged, just know that it was a pleasure to meet you, and I wish you the best of luck.âÂ
Before Jamie even had the chance to respond, she was gone.Â
***
September 22nd, 1977
One year ago today, his life changed drastically. In the year since then, so much had happened and he wasnât even there for four of those monthsânot really. Â
Itâs surprising how fast the human body deteriorates when it isnât able to move or eat or drink. The only sustenance he could get was through a GI tube, and you could hardly call that food.Â
By the time he woke up, he didnât recognize himself, and his family had a hard time coming to terms with his appearance even though theyâd sat by his bedside for months.Â
Heâd been discharged as an inpatient five months ago, but was back at the hospital more times than he could count for his physical therapy sessions.Â
52 weeks, 365 days, 525600 minutes since he had broken practically every part of him, and yet it seemed like no time at all. Yet at the same time, it felt like forever.Â
You know how time seems to go slower when youâre anticipating something? Youâre constantly looking at the clock and it seems like itâs been five minutes since you last looked at it but when you check it again itâs really only been one?Â
For five months Jamieâs life was a lot like that. Working to get back to the man he was, but in the back of his mind there was a little voice saying âwhat for?âÂ
It took only three months for his body to deteriorate to what looked like a skeleton, but it would take a lot more than three months to get it all back.
In five months, he no longer looked like a dead man walking- at least, but he was still thin.Â
Everything had healed rather nicelyâ though there were plenty of scars that would stay with him for the rest of his life, reminding him of that day and every day since. All but his hand.Â
His hand was the reason why he needed the physical therapy. It had been badly damaged in the accident and while the surgeons were able to put the bones back in placeâa rod here and there âand sew the skin back together, he couldnât use it himself for three months, so doctors had to flex it for himâthat set them back a bit.Â
Heâd made a lot of progress since he woke up, but his hand still pained him, but it was his heart that hurt the most.Â
Five months ago Claire said goodbye to him, in case she didnât see him before he got discharged. Heâd been discharged less than an hour after sheâd gone, and he hadnât seen her since.Â
He didnât think anything of it at the time, he would be back at the hospital enough times in the coming year that surely heâd see her again.Â
Except he hadnât, and he never got the chance to say goodbye. Besides, he didnât want to say goodbye, he wanted to say hello.Â
We want to put a *disclaimer* on this category list. We are aware that this a very, very common trope in the fandom. We did our best to put as many fics as we could, but know we missed a few. If there is a story we missed, please feel free to add it!
Scalpel and Needle Arc I and Arc II by @kalendraashtar
Jamie and Claire are surgeons working together but they canât see eye to eye. However, a secret admirer has found a special place in her heart.
Closing Time by @ttwaffles
Claire Beauchamp is a second year medical student. Due to many late nights with her clinicals, and studying for her pharmacology class, sheâs at wits end. One Friday night she decides not to join Joe Abernathy and her other friends out at Church, their local hangout spot, but instead winds up in a dive bar close to her flat with a very nice whisky selection. In fact, one of the best one sheâs ever seen. When the bartender calls her âSassenachâ and pours her a double, Claire gets a feeling in her chest sheâs never felt before.
Iâll be there for you Arc I and Arc IIÂ by @ttwaffles
I knew I was in trouble when he moved in. I had known somewhere deep inside, that sharing an apartment with Jamie Fraser was going to be a problem. But, I had needed the help to pay the rent and he was the only suitable person who met my obscene standards.
He was clean, respectful, and didnât mind my coming and going at odd hours. He was a hard worker, Adso loved him, and all the references on his application had stellar reviews about him. He was also extremely charming and good-looking. I had started to fall for him the moment he came over for a tour of the apartment, though, I hadnât wanted to admit it to anyone- let alone myself.
The problem was, I was with Frank, and he had a girlfriendâBut Jamie Fraser was my best friend, and that was all.
Loss by @missclairebelleâ
Surgeon Claire x Jamie | the free fall of unexpectedly losing a patient for the first time.
Flood My Mornings by @bonnie-wee-swordsmanâ
Two years after Culloden, Jamie accidentally falls through the stones, finding himself in 1950.
Modern Glasgow by @gotham-ruaidh
Imagine Claire and Jamie as a couple in present-day Glasgow
The Midwife by @magnoliasinbloom
Following in her motherâs footsteps, Claireâs skills as a midwife take her to France and Scotland. When her journey leads her to James Fraser, she will have to decide if she will follow her calling or her heart.
Redeem Me by @claryclark
Jamie is a new police officer living in London when he meets Claire Beauchamp, a NICU nurse, in a coffee shop. They form a close friendship, with Jamie hesitant to let it become something more, troubled by demons from his past.Â
Clair(e)Voyance 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 by @notevenjokingfic
Detective Sergeant James Fraser gets help on a case from Dr. Claire Randall, the new Medical Examiner. The real mystery, however, is what secret the Doctor herself is hiding.Â
All I want for Christmas is You by @ttwaffles
Claire Beauchamp has a crush on the marketing departmentâs heartthrob and accidentally spills her feelings for him drunkenly at the holiday staff party. Little does she know, Jamie Fraser is trying to score the hospitalâs most eligible resident.
Colder Weather @ttwaffles
3 years he had been gone - and oh, had things changed
I donât even know your name by @kkruml
A series of near meetings for Jamie and Claire leads to an unexpected relationship, set in modern day Scotland. Claire is a medical student and Jamie owns a whisky distillery.
Atonement by @smashing-teacups
Jamie Fraser suffers a horrific car accident and wakes up in the hospital to find his life forever changed. His sole comfort comes in the companionship he finds with Claire Beauchamp, a nurse who understands his suffering more than he knows.
The Rivers Between Us by @jmoonrise
They were once two strangers passing each other, but maybe all love needs is a second chance.
Dr. B, Medicine Woman by @crossinginstyle
Claire Beauchamp is trying to make her way as a woman doctor in the 19th century. After the death of her uncle and only supporter, she decides to risk everything to travel to a small frontier town in Colorado in need of a doctor. There, she meets Mac, a mysterious, quiet man who lives among the Cheyenne, and becomes a sudden mother to three orphaned children.Â
Deep As the Road is Long by @desperationandgin
James Fraser, a single father in Scotland, takes his ill daughter to the United States in the hopes that Claire Randall (an expert in her field of medicine) can save her life.
Back to You by @balfeheughlywedâ
Claire, a college senior, transfers to Scotland at the last minute to finish out her undergraduate degree after she breaks up with Frank. She meets Jamie on campus and sparks fly - and then she discovers he is the boyfriend of her new roommate, Laoghaire.
Vietnam AUÂ by @gotham-ruaidhâ
Imagine if Jamie was a wounded soldier and Claire a combat nurse who met in a field hospital during the Vietnam War.
Escape by @notevenjokingficâÂ
Love can come from the places you least expect it to, even from the fire escape. Claire and Jamie modern AU. A story of love, marriage, and the blessings that come from building a life together.
Let our Joys so Multiply by fallofrain
Jamie and Claire, raising a family in Edinburgh. Itâs all going great, until Claire gets sick.
A Medical Emergency by @marlosbooknook for @turtlesoupstoriesâ
It was just a regular busy day in the A&E for Dr. Claire Beauchamp, until a certain red-headed Scot came in.
Doctor? by suspiciousteapot for @imagineclaireandjamie
Prompt: Imagine Jamie survived Culloden and went through the stones and wind up in the hospital where Claire is now a Doctor. Frank is not in the picture.Â
Dr. C. Randall, Chief of Surgical Staff by suspiciousteapot for @imagineclaireandjamieâ
Prompt: Imagine that Jamie somehow travels to Claireâs time when Bree is still a baby and drops in on Claire randomly like she does in voyager / Prompt: Imagine Claire, Frank, and Briannaâs reaction if Jamie showed up in the 20th century.
Eight Seconds by @diversemediums & @takemeawaytocamelotâ
James Fraser is a tough-guy, riding bulls in rodeos across America. Claire Randall is a widow and surgeon, attending a rodeo on a rare night off.
Spend Your Time by simply_sassenach
Claire is a doctor in residence at a hospital in Inverness, Scotland. One night, a large, red headed patient comes in with a bruised rib after being in a bar fight. His name is Jamie Fraser. Something about Jamie draws Claire to him. She wants to be around him. However, she must decide whether she wants to be around him only as friends or something more.
Trading Wine for Whiskey (Bookshop AU) by FtLoShakespeare & @takemeawaytocamelot
Dr. Claire Beauchamp is in her first year of residency at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital when she walks into a beautiful second-hand bookshop. There she meets the charming, kind shop owner Jamie Fraser and they become fast friends. Jamie falls fast and hard for her, and theyâre perfect for each other. Theâs only one problem: Claire is engaged to Dr. Frank Randall.
Where You Lead by soinspiredbyyou
Canon Divergence AU: Faith survived and stayed at Lallybroch when Claire returned through the stones before Culloden. An accidental trip to Craigh Na Dun turns life upside down for the Frasers once again.
Fraser Memorial by @curlsgetdemgurls
Claire is a resident at a hospital in Edinburgh and one night when a red-headed scot comes in with a dislocated shoulder, it changes the path of both their lives.
The Sands of Time by @holdhertightandsayhernameâ
âIn timeâs desert I feel your presence.
In the rockâs silence I hear your footstep.â
As Lamb starts losing his battle to dementia, Claire unearth stories from his past and embarks on a journey that will lead her to Jamie Fraser.
Fluffy Frasers by @thatsoccercoach
Jamie and Claire build a life together and have a family- giving us all the fluffy feels!
Itâs far from over. I have many plans for it, however I donât have a lot of spare time on my hands, and when I do I canât seem to ever find the right words. There will be updates, that I can promise you. I just canât say when.
Disclaimer: Iâm not a doctor and have very little medical knowledge, so I apologize for any mistakes
PreviouslyâŠ
The Beginning
Oxford, England
He felt like he was floating, just beneath the surface of a lake, the buoyancy of his body bringing him closer and closer to the surface.
It was very similar to when youâre half asleep and it suddenly feels like youâre falling, but just before you hit the ground your body jerks you awake.
He didnât remember much of the accident, but he did remember the weeks where he lived somewhere outside his bodyâthe in betweenâ and he remembered it vividly.
It was a sort of comfort, to wake up and be somewhat familiar with your surroundings. Not just waking up somewhere and having no idea how you got there in the first place.
Time had not been kind to him. He was once in peak condition, the perfect balance between muscle and fat. Now, he had been reduced to almost nothing. The only source of nutrition he had was a GI tube that snaked its way down from his nose into his stomach.
Lying in a hospital bed for months without leaving it for even a moment allowed his muscles to atrophy to nothing. He looked almost skeletal: the framework of his bones so clear and visible beneath the skin that he looked as though he would shatter if a fly landed on him.
His skin was once sun-kissed, though still pale. But now there was absolutely no color to him at all. He practically blended in with the stark-white of the hospital sheets.
His cheeks were gaunt, every socket and hollow in his skull pronounced as his skin clung to bone. His eyes were sunken into his skull, with deep dark bags just underneath.
He looked nothing like himself, he was quite literally a ghost.
Jenny was reduced to sobs when she saw him. The feeling bittersweetâbecause while he was finally awake after weeks of hoping and praying; they hardly recognized him.
It was different, seeing the man who she knew to be her brother inside this body. It wasnât the same as looking at his inert form that never spoke or moved.
The only identifiable features that were pure Jamie was the short copper hair on his head that had been shaved when he arrived, and crystal blue eyes. And even then he looked an impostor.
Wee Jamie was terrified of his uncle, he refused to hug or even look at him. It pained all of them to see him react that way, because his uncle was once his favorite person in the world. But he was too young to comprehend the tragedy that had befallen him, and what time takes from a person who is completely helpless.
They all looked at him differently now. His father, Jenny, and Ian. They were grateful that God had returned him to them, but they would never look at him without thinking about the accident and the aftermath. It would plague them for the rest of their lives.
It made Jamie feel guilty. Not that anything that happened was his fault, but he couldnât help but think that they would never be the same family they were.
But at least there was Claire.
âYouâre awake!â She exclaimed with her eyes wide and a grin so big it was almost comical.
Sheâd heard the news a few hours earlier, but gave Jamie some time to get reacquainted with himself and his surroundings.
Jamie looked up from the book he was readingâthough he had no idea what it was about, he just enjoyed the feeling of it in his hands.
He returned the smile in kind, âSo I am.â
Claire made her way over to his bedside, quickly checking him over with her pen-light and stethoscope, making sure his vitals were somewhat normal before planting herself in the chair next to him.
âWell, how do you feel?â
Jamie exhaled with a small chuckle and placed the book on the bedside table. âLike Iâve been hit by a bus.â
She laughed and nervously attempted to smooth the creases in her scrubs before returning her gaze back to him. âWell, youâre not far off.â She paused for a moment, and took a breath.
âDo you remember anything? About the accident, I mean.â
Jamie sighed and closed his eyes, trying to think back. âNo, not really. The last thing I remember was singing along to the radio on my way to work. Next thing I know iâm lying in a hospital bed attached to every machine on the planet.â He lifted an arm that was connected to an IVâalong with a heartbeat monitor clipped to his fingerâin example.
It wasnât the full truth, but he wasnât about to tell her that his âastral projectionâ âor whatever the hell it might beâobserved nearly everything that happened in between. The last thing he needed was to be committed to a psych ward.
Claire frowned and then shrugged, getting up and moving away from the chair. âWell, perhaps itâs better that way.â She gave him a friendly smile and took another step towards the door.
She hesitated, turning back to look at him.
Jamie cocked his head to the side in confusion after she didnât say anything. âIs there something on my face?â He brought up a hand to wipe at his mouth before looking at it and finding nothing.
âNo, itâs just⊠Now that youâre awake, thereâs going to be a lot of physical therapy and all sorts of tests. The road back to recovery wonât be easy, and there will be times when you just want to give up. Just⊠try to remember that youâve come back from the brink of death, and the worst is already behind you.â
At least I hope. She added, only to herself
Sheâd been right, it wasnât easy. It was almost as if heâd been reborn and had to learn everything for the first time again.
It felt good to finally leave that bed, but he could hardly walk. His legs werenât used to supporting his weight, thin as he was.
The first time heâd seen his reflection, he thought someone else was staring back at him, only to realize the wraith in the mirror was indeed him.
Everything took time, and Jamie was impatient. Heâd already wasted three months of his life withering away to nothing, and now he had to work to get it all back.
But he was determined. Even if his body wouldnât do what he was telling it to, he never gave up. He learned to appreciate all the little things in his life, because he knew it could all be gone in a second. Heâd been lucky. Lucky that he hadnât lost his life, or the ability to walk or think or talk. Because he knew that there were people who werenât so lucky, and people who would never have a second chance.
Not once did he take it for granted. He would return to the man he had been, it all just took time.
Therapy was thorough and rigorous, but it needed to be. Although surgeons were able to set the bones in his hand, he had no use for it while he was comatose. Doctors would need to move and flex his hand for him, so it wouldnât become stiff and immobileâso he would still have use of it in the hopes that he would wake up.
It was painful, working to try and get back to who he was before. His hand would never regain complete range of motion, but at least he could have some.
He would need to come to terms with the fact that it wasnât possible to be who he was before. The accident happened, and he couldnât just go back in time and undo it; as much as he might like to. His body bore plenty of scars that would be a constant reminder, it was a part of him now.
Claire visited him oftenâwhenever she had the chance. She was no longer assigned to his case, and either way he would be discharged soon.
She always had some excuse to see him, but the real reason she kept to herself.
Jamie scrunched his nose and spit out the bland bread that heâd been chewing. âIâve been here nigh on four months, and I still havenât gotten used to the food.â He chuckled and wiped his mouth with a napkin.
âTechnically seven,â She corrected. âAnd I donât think itâs possible for anyone to get used to it.â Claire flashed him a smile, whiskey eyes sparkling.
He could stare into her eyes for hours and never tire of it. He wanted to drown in them.
âAye, well. I think the first thing iâm doing once iâm out is getting a big, greasy hamburger with large fries. And a shake.â He had tried to wink, but it turned out to be more of a slow, owlish blink than anything.
She closed her eyes and smiled, her mouth watering at the thought.
At that moment her pager went off, announcing that she was needed elsewhere. She looked at it and frowned, returning her attention back to Jamie
âWell, thatâs my cue. If I donât see you before youâre discharged, just know that it was a pleasure to meet you, and I wish you the best of luck.â
Before Jamie even had the chance to respond, she was gone.
am i back? idk bc every time I say I am i end up going AWOL for months at a time. I thought Iâd given up on this fic tbh, and iâve been trying so hard to write other things that I just didnât have the inspiration for. I went back and reread this one and here we are a day later. I know itâs short, but itâs something!
previouslyâŠ
Shadows
Sussex, Virginia
1st April 1858
I laid next to Jamie, secure in his arms with my head resting on his chest; listening to the steady, predictable beat of his heart.
We laid there for what must have been hours, no words spoken between us, just brief glances and touches to confirm that we were there and that we were safe.
The revelations of the past few days weighed heavy on us, but at the same time a great weight had been lifted. Keeping something like that to yourself is an unbearable burden that no one can, nor should bear alone.
There was a kinship in it as well. Knowing that we both went through something terrible at the hands of the same man brought us closer than ever.
I often wondered what would have happened if my parents hadnât died when I was still so young. Would I have been happier? Would everything have turned out differently? Or would it all have resulted the same anyway?
And now I wondered if maybe those terrible things were meant to happen to us. Because if it hadnât, I probably would have never met Jamie.
And perhaps it was still too early to tell what my life might be like in a few years. If all the hell and pain I went through would make me a better person, or fulfill some purpose greater than myself.
I wondered if Jamie felt the same.
Heâd revealed the extent of what Randall had done to him only a few hours earlier, and I knew that it was still fresh on his mind.
His body was rigid beneath me, he laid there, frozen. One arm was wrapped around me while his eyes were pinned to the wooden beams that supported the ceiling.
âI already knew what happened before you told me. Not all of it, but some.â I whispered to him, disturbing the stillness of the room.
I moved my head so that my chin rested on his chest, so I could see his face.
He looked down at me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. âDid ye now?â
âMhm.â I returned the smile, my left hand drawing patterns over his heart that only I knew the meaning of.
âWell, are you going to tell me exactly how you knew?â He nudged me, after I neglected to continue.
âI had a dream. Remember when you woke me up, asking if I was alright?â
He nodded, thinking back only a few hours.
âI saw it happen, I was there. You getting flogged the second time, while I watched helplessly from the audience. Except every time the lash tore at your back, I could feel it tearing at me.â
I swallowed, my throat feeling suddenly dry.
âI begged and cried not only for the pain to stop, but for you as well. Only I was invisible. It was like I wasnât even there.â
I was so absorbed in the memory of the dream I almost didnât notice when Jamie took me back into his arms.
âHush, say no more mo ghraidh.â He whispered into my hair, so softly I just barely heard it.
ââMo GhraidhââŠyouâve called me that before, what does it mean?
Jamie had been rubbing small circles on my back with his thumb, but he hesitated for a moment when he heard my question.
âAh⊠it means âmy loveââ He put simply, continuing to draw patterns on my back.
I pulled away and looked up at him, watching the dim light from the fire dance on his faceâcutting his features into perfect geometric planes.
Even though it was dark, I could see the sparkle in his baby blue eyes.
âI love you.â I breathed, and felt tears beginning to form just beneath the surface.
How many days had it been? Threeâfour? A few days ago he was a stranger that walked into my tavern, and even then I knew there was something about him.
It may have only been a few days, but to me, it felt like a lifetime. And I knew he felt the same.
I said that I wouldnât make you guys wait too long until the next chapter was posted, and here it is! thank you to everyone who commented and gave such positive feedback, it honestly makes my entire week. so, letâs get on with it, shall we?
previously⊠prologue, chapter I, chapter II
At First Sound
Oxford, England
6th December, 1976
We never think the last time is going to be the last. We do things seemingly everyday until one day we just stop, without a second thought. Itâs only when we look back that we realize we no longer do something that was once a part of our daily routine; or that we no longer speak to someone who we used to tell everything to. Yet when we look back, we canât seem to remember that last timeâcannot pinpoint the exact moment that marked the end.
But life goes on, whether we want it to or not. The minutesâhoursâdaysâ go on without hesitation, waiting for nothing and no one. Each day we are given a choice: the choice to go forward and adapt to the ever-changing world, or get left behind; stuck in a place that no longer exists, and never will exist again. We can dwell on the past, conjure those moments and memories in our dreams in an attempt to relive that one moment. Yet now, they are only shadows; hollow shells of what once was that will continue to decay until it turns to dust. We can try and hold on, keep the memory locked away somewhere safe in our hearts; but each day the memory becomes less and less clear.
So, what do we choose? Do we stay in the past where itâs familiar and safe, or do we move on?
Do we choose to live, or do we choose to die?
Life. He chose life. At the last possible second, when he was about to let go of everything he was and  everything he hoped to beâ he chose life.
It wasnât Jenny or Ian, his father or even wee Jamie. It was the voice of a woman who he didnât know; a complete and total stranger.
It seemed like an eternity to Jamie, and to everyone else in the room, but in reality it was only a minute.
A minute where his heart stopped beating and his brain was deprived of oxygen, but in that minute, there was a voice.
âDonât you dare give up now, you bloody bastard!â
And then, a heartbeat.
The human mind is a strange and beautiful thing. Our brainâconsciousnessâ is unique to each and every person. Folds of tissue that hold millions upon billions of neurons and synapses of electricity that allow us to have thoughts and memories, senses and emotions, among millions of other things. Our brain is the part that makes us who we are.
Between the time someone falls asleep and the time they wake up, it seems as if no time has passed at all. You simply close your eyes one second, and by the time you open them, a new day has dawned.
But when our consciousness is not bound to the physical body, it is suddenly very different.
Perhaps itâs our soul; the part that makes you yourself and no one else.
The part that some religions believe goes on to live a life after death somewhere beyond this universe.
When we die, our consciousnessâor whatever else it may beâno longer resides in the body of flesh and bone in which we have lived our entire lives. When the heart stops beating and the brain is deprived of blood and oxygenâ no longer do we belong to the world of the living.
We go on to live a life free from physical harm, while our body is left to rot and decay until it is indistinguishable from the earth itself.
But what about when you are not dead. When our hearts are still beating, when air still fills our lungs, when our blood ebbs and flows throughout. What about when we are alive, but we are no longer inside our body.
For months Jamie was stuck in this state of being, a soul outside of the body but still connected in some way. It was like some sort of tether that bound him to his body, and once that tether was severed, death would follow.
Ever since that brush with death, it was as if that tether had suddenly snapped and pulled him back into his body. He was no longer having some out of body experience, but, he could still hear everything around himâ vividly. He could faintly feel the needles entering and leaving his body. But he could not see. He was alive and he was aware of his surroundings, but he was still comatose. He was blind, but he was there.
It was hell on earth. Being alive and conscious in some small way, but outwardly he might as well have been dead.
He could hear everything. Every time Jenny sobbed and begged for her brotherâs return, he would scream that he was there and that he was trying, but she could not hear him. Nor could his father or anyone else for that matter.
Jamie was being held prisoner in his own bodyâhis own mind. And it was exhausting.
But, there was one tiny ray of hope in the never ending abyss of black; Claire.
From what he could put together, she was a new resident that had been assigned to his case. The first time he ever heard her voice was when he was dying, and it was like that one missing piece in a puzzle that suddenly fell into place, completing the picture.
She came by every day after that, apparently she was a new resident that had been assigned to his case.
And every day he looked forward to when she would come into that room and check his vitals while speaking to him as if he were awake, and not some vegetable lying in a hospital bed.
Once Claire entered Jamieâs life, he wanted nothing more than to wake up and see the woman who possessed that beautiful voice. It was then that Jamie was determined to fight, and win.
âGood morning, Jamie!â Claire chirped as she came into  his room. During the past few weeks, Jamie had made huge strides towards his recovery. He had improved so much within such little time that the rest of Claireâs colleagues had taken to calling her a miracle worker.
âI donât know if you can hear me but, could you do me a favor and wake up? Because for as many strides as youâre making, none of it will really matter until you wake up, and thatâs when the real work begins.â She had righted the blankets on his bed, pulling the blanket up towards his chest and tucking him in like a small child.
âAnd, it really would make a lot of people happyâŠâ She placed her stethoscope back around her neck and began to head into the hall again, but paused in the doorway. âAnd iâm not just talking about your family.â Right before she left the room, she couldâve sworn she saw him smile.
Hello everyone! After quite a long time, here is the next chapter of To Build a Home! Iâve been dealing with quite a bit of family troubles lately and apologize for my disappearance. Without making you wait any longer, here is part seven!Â
If you need to catch up, you can find part six here.Â
Castle Leoch, Summer 1745
Jamieâs knees seemed to buckle as he approached the bench near the hearth, his expression slack but lips pressed tight together. His great shoulders sagged, but there was a line of tension that ran through him and made his spine rigid. Claire noticed, almost as an afterthought, that his hands were shaking where they rested between his knees.
From her place by the table, Claire could see the bold heading at the top of the paper, the watery sunlight coming through the window making the page almost translucent. For a long moment, neither said a word and then Jamie turned his head to her, the shadows cast on his face making him seem suddenly much older. His eyes were dim and empty, the light gone out of them. âJesus Claire,â he whispered, and his voice seemed to hang between them like fog. She met his eyes, wishing there was something she could say to comfort him, but then he dropped his face into his hands, fingers knotting into his curls. âWhat am I to do?â His voice cracked and she saw his shoulders shake, whether with fear or anguish she didnât know.
âOh, Jamie,â she said softly and crossed the room to wrap her arms around his shoulders. He leaned his head against her belly and his arms came up to snake around her waist, his hands curling into the fabric of her skirts. She felt a tremor run through him and placed a hand on his head, smoothing her hand over his hair. âItâs alright, love. Itâll be alright. You do what needs to be done - we do what needs to be done.â
His hands tightened on her waist and he sighed, his breath hot against her stomach. âI just wanted to keep us safe.â His voice was half muffled by the fabric of her dress and Claire dragged her fingernails across his scalp, her heart heavy in her chest. âI just wanted us to have a home.â
I was supposed to have the last Chapter of A Medical Emergency done today but Iâm not super thrilled with it and I want to make sure I give your guys the best ending possible!
Hi everyone! I had a whole introduction prepared about how unbelievably sorry I was for taking so long to post, but I honestly have no excuse! i wanted to thank everyone who has continued to read Medical Emergency, along with all the other fic here on TSS while us admins have been busy working, graduating high school, and dealing with our immensely complicated personal lives! Iâm so excited to bring you the next chapter of A Medical Emergency, though unfortunately none of he angst from the last part gets resolved here (sorry!) After this, I plan on writing one more chapter, and then an epilogue to finish up this story, so I can dive headfirst back into my Pirate!AU. As always, a million thanks to other wee bairns for being constant betas and friends, and an enormous thank you to all of you guys! Also a big shout out to @thelallybrochlibrary because if they hadnât featured this on their list of medical AUâs I donât think I ever would have gotten around to writing it! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Lots of Love
Wee Bairn Marlo ( @marlosbooknook )
Read the previous parts HEREÂ (or message me for the tumblr links!)
Claire sat in the hospital parking lot, her fingers drumming a staccato melody on the leather of her steering wheel. The crisp air inside the car was a cocoon, shielding the world from the typhoon of emotions raging inside her. She glanced at her own warped reflection in the overhead mirror, the inky mascara trails shattering her porcelain skin; her face seemed like a fitting manifestation of her own brokenness, a dull ache that had seemed to disappear almost entirely over the past couple months she had spent with Jamie.
Jamie.
The thought of him nearly broke Claire open again. She could still see the look on his face, the unfiltered pain in his eyes as she slammed the door behind her. She contemplated her options. Go back and apologize, tell him she was broken beyond repair? That any hope he had of starting a life with her, having a family with her was simply impossibleâŠ
No. Claire thought. That would only hurt him more. She could see the scene playing out in front of her the same way it did before with Frank. Her anguish would be soothed with gentle reassurances, that everything would be okay, that maybe this was how it was supposed to be. But despite their best efforts, slowly but surely, everything would crumble; his eyes would stray to the next pretty young thing, the animalistic urge of man to procreate driving him away from Claire and the emptiness of her womb. For Frank it was an intern, Claire wondered who it would be for JamieâŠ
âFuck. Fuck. Fuck!â Claire's screams echoes across the empty parking deck, the pounding of her fists causing her car horn to beep in tune to her anguish.
It would be far easier to say nothing; it would cause them both less pain. Claire wondered what Jamie thought of her now, that she must be unhinged. Her leaving would be no great loss to him anyways, it would only serve to save him from the eventual heartbreak. It would be better to lose him this way, within her control. Like ripping a plaster off, quick and painless. Claireâs heart ached to imagine life without Jamie in it. The emptiness she felt before and now, the notion that it could all come crashing down again, leaving her stranded on that bloody island of loneliness, of dissatisfaction, seemed too much to bear. But for Jamie she would do it. She could give him the opportunity to move on and find someone who could fulfill his dream of a family large enough to mimic his own upbringing.
Resigned, Claire gathered her things, swept her hair back into a messy bun, and made her best effort to look like her life hadnât come crashing down around her. All the while she figured out her next move.
Make it through today, book a hotel, shop for new flat, and pray that Jamie wouldn't be around when she went by to collect her things the next morning.
She braced her hand against the cool metal door, taking a deep breath before pushing it open and becoming enveloped in the chaos of the hospital. The swirl of voices around, the cluster of people shoving past her, interns making their rounds, residents rushing to the OR, grounded Claire, and she felt her mind begin to ease, the urge to save lives overtaking any thoughts of that morning. But deep down, she could still feel it gnawing on her insides, making her gasp for air and struggle to stand as pangs of grief rocked through her.
The morning went by without incident. Claire strived to make as little conversation as possible, even the pleasant words of Joe Abernathy failed to pique her interests. Her focus was solely on whomever lay on the table in front of her. She performed two appendectomies without hesitation, and she tuned out the words of fellow surgeons, wondering what had turned Dr. Beauchamp into a surgical robot.
It wasnât until noon, when she sat weary in the attendingâs lounge, that the weight of the world once again fell on her shoulders. Sighing, Claire placed her head in her hands, willing the urge to sob to sease, knowing well that if they did, she wouldnât be able to stop them. She felt the cushion shift beside her. She didnât have to look up to know that Joe was sitting beside her, laying a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.
âAre you feeling alright, Lady Jane?â he asked, unable to mask the concern seeping into his voice.
Claire said nothing. What was there to say?
âClaire,â Joe tried again, âYou can talk to me, you know that right?â
It was rare for Joe to refer to Claire by her given name, and the sound of it, laced with compassion and understanding, was enough to compel her to speak.
Claireâs throat wobbled and her words came out stilted.
âI- I⊠I canât have children.â
Joe sat back with a long exhale. He opened his mouth to speak but he thought better of it, letting Claire continue.
âI know that I should have said something to him. It was so bloody selfish of me. I should have given him the chance to leave. And now Iâve ruined it, Joe. Iâve ruined it.â Claireâs last sentence came out in a hush, the pressure building up inside her making it nearly impossible to speak.
âDoes this have something to do with Jamie? Because if it does, I am happy to find him and give him a piece of my mindâŠâ
âNo. Itâs not Jamie. Itâs me. I feel like Iâve been lying to him. I know he wants a family and everytime he looks at me Iâm just reminded of all that I canât give him.â
Claire stopped as she braced herself to discuss that morning.
âAnd today- I woke up ill. Itâs happened a few times. And I know what heâs thinking. I can see the hope in his eyes, but I canât tell him. If I did I know it would hurt himâŠâ
âHe thinks your pregnant?â Joe asked.
Claire nodded forlornly. âHe hasn't said it outright, but I can tell. He tells me that Iâm the one with the glass face, but sometimes he is just as easy to read.â
âBut are you sure that youâre not? Pregnant, I mean.â
âI canât be. At least, I donât think soâŠâ
âAre you late?â Joe looked at her knowingly, willing Claire to answer. In the years that they had been working together, their conversations had crossed the usual boundaries between coworkers. This was no different.
Claire hesitated to respond. âIâm sure itâs nothing. I havenât been eating much recently, and my sleep schedule is off, andâŠâ
âCome with me.â Joe took Claire by the hand and lifted her off of he bench they had been seated on. He led her down the hall, purposely shielding Claireâs red rimmed eyes from the prying gazes of the nurses.
âJoe, please,â Claire protested. âThis is ridiculous!â
Joe ignored her, coming to a stop in front of a supply closet. Claire looked around, exasperated and embarrassed as Joe fished a set of keys from his scrub pocket and set about unlocking the door.
He vanished inside, Claire standing in the doorframe, knowing that if she did she would be admitting that she had hope. And hope would only serve to cause more heartbreak.
Joe reappeared, pressing a small box into Claireâs hands, while never taking his eyes off of hers. She squeezed the cardboard packaging until the edged began to cave under the pressure of her fingers, knuckles white.
âTake the test, LJ. You might be surprised.â
Claire could only nod; if she opened her mouth, she wasn't sure what would come out. She put the package into her own pocket, cringing as she felt the corners sticking out through the thin fabric of her scrubs. With a final glance at Joe, she turned and made her way for the staff restroom, breathing a sigh of relief that it was empty. She didnât need anyone else to witness her embarrassment. Closing her eyes, she took the test out of her pocket and gingerly opened the box, cradling the plastic wand between her fingers like it was a sacred relic, one of the archeological treasures she dug up in the desert with her Uncle Lamb. She threw the instructions into the bin. Sheâd seen enough people take the test, sheâd taken plenty of them herself, when she was still desperately trying to convince herself that there was a chance.
Claire pushed into a stall, making sure the door was firmly locked behind her. She sat down on the toilet as a wave of panic crept up inside of her, all of the ifs and the buts crashing over her head like lightning. Her hands were shaking, surgeonâs dexterity vanished in a moment of panic. She closed her eyes, counted to ten and did it.
The minutes seemed to creep by at a snailâs pace. Claire sat with her head trained to the door in front of her, mind racing with the possibilities, both good and bad. Occasionally, her eye would drift downwards towards her lap, where the test sat gingerly placed on her thighs, but she would quickly averyt her eyes. She knew what the result would be. The silence pounded in her ears, and all Claire could think about was Jamie. The pure unfettered love she felt for him, the aching desire to never leave his side, and the grief at knowing she would never be enough for him.
Claire wretched her eyes downwards, blinking away the memories and the pain.
No. It canât be. Itâs impossible.
The fog suddenly seemed to clear from Claireâs  mind, as her attention was focused on the pregnancy test in her lapâand the two little vertical lines that were slowly fading into view. She knew what it meant, despite every brain cell screaming at her that it couldn't be true.
