Hey so never done bondage but find myself getting turned on by your tumblr. One thing I notice is that the scenes don’t always lead to anal sex. Is anal sex not a goal with bondage or does that part happen after the pictures/vids?
Every guy’s reasons vary, for exploring or indulging in bondage. Each guy involved determines what makes a bondage session “successful.” If the goal is a mutually satisfying session, there’s communication prior and during, to ensure both involved are on the same page.
As for what you’ve seen in vids…. when I’m making a quick video, I’m usually busy stroking the guy with one hand and trying to keep lube off my other hand as I make a few vids. I rarely capture the cum shot because I’m more focused on stroking the guy, rather than fumbling with my phone.
Personally my reasons for indulging in tying men have to do with connection. Working with another guy while he’s vulnerable and aroused (physically or emotionally) by the restraints. He’s given me his trust–that turns me on. He’s unable to stop what’s happening–as his cock stiffens, leaks, and his balls are churning, full–that turns me on.
I don’t have to fuck a guy to “get off” during a session. In fact I’m so focused on taking care of the tied guy; making sure he feels safe and is enjoying himself, that I rarely shoot my load during a session. (after hundreds of sessions, maybe twice I’ve shot my load, while I had a guy bound up). This is not uncommon among bondage tops… of course there are guys that identify as bondage tops, who fuck as often as they can during a session. But the guys I’ve met who tie as often as I do, they rarely stop during the session to jerk themselves off.
I’m more than satisfied helping a guy feel safe enough that he can lower his emotional walls of protection, face a few fears of vulnerability, and guide him safely through the experience. Likely he may feel a sense of accomplishment, working through a challenging bondage session, knowing he faced his fears in the eye and shot a load or two in the process.
There’s a lot of bondage porn out there with editorialized captions attached, where the sub is “garbage”, “worthless”, where the sub is a “fag” the sub owes the dom “everything and more.” I put my subs on a pedestal and admire them, until they are moaning groaning, struggling to cum. I thank them every step of the way, because the tied guy is the bravest guy in the room.
If you run across a dom who is demanding your all, before you’ve met in person, he’s fantasizing at you at best. Or his capacity for empathizing with your concerns is lacking. If a guy can’t appreciate you’re nervous to let a stranger tie you up, just in the abstract, then how might that same guy handle your concerns once your bound, gagged, helpless?
I’ve said it many times, I’ll repeat here: the dom cannot happen until the sub is ready to give his trust to the dom. Without trust the chance that a mutually enjoyable session is greatly reduced. If the dom’s goal is not focused on mutual fulfillment, he’s selfish and insensitive. A sub willing to lend his rust is an extraordinary gift. And that gift of trust deserves to be treated well; and returned to the sub unharmed.
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