DNI (i will block) if you're: a genAI supporter or "neutral" about it (chatGPT, c.ai, glimmerfics, etc.), racist, zionist, sexist, homophobic, a terf/transphobic, an ICE/trump supporter
masterlist âą request guidelines
ao3 (log in to view) âą fic recs âą my reblog blog
please do not repost/translate my works and do not put any part of my works into ChatGPT or c.ai. i do not use AI to write, and i equally do not want my writing to be used for AI.
on the other hand, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated and cherished!! asks are also open and i LOVE getting ramblings and questions and whatnot :)
i just realized youre the anti acceptance jade fic person! wow! not sure if you remembee me commenting but i cried reading that fic LMAO. love your work, look forward to crying to more of your fics àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽżă»áŽă»)â§
THATâS ME!!! to be completely honest, my memory is actual asscheeks so iâm not gonna pretend i fully memorised your comment :( but iâm 100% positive that it brought me tons of joy in the moment, so thank you so incredibly much!! i do hope it was a nice cry! <333
you ask kalim for a âlittle bit of alcoholâ, which translates to âgive me alcohol poisoningâ in kalimese. terrible experience, but excellent opportunity to get back at jamil >:0
tags/warnings: jamil viper x reader, gn!reader, reader is yuu, alcohol and emetophobia tw (vomiting mentioned but not in detail), NRC is actual college age (18-22), takes place after scarabia arc
a/n: wrote (most of) this when i was drunk, didn't proofread at all, and itâs ass but iâll leave it mostly unedited to stay true to my drunk self. please have mercy. also, please drink smarter and more safely than i did, or not at all if youâre underage :o
DO NOT FEED ANY PART OF THIS TO AI. thanks!
word count: 1111
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
Given four traumatic overblots in your first four months in Twisted Wonderland, thereâs only one correct answer to Kalimâs generous question, âPrefect, do you want alcohol in your drink?â
And that is: âYes, please!â
But to keep it reasonable, you add, âJust a little bit, though. I donât wanna go too overboard.â
âGot it! Iâll pour just a little bit for you!â
Â
Bullshit.
Luckily, youâd sensed your queasiness early on and ran to the toilet before any damage could be done to Scarabiaâs priceless rugs or furniture. But this is still hellish.
âKalim,â you wheeze into the toilet bowl, âwhat in Sevenâs names did you put in that last drink?â
âJust a little!â he insists. âIâm so sorry! I didnât think youâd be such a lightweight!â
Another wave of nausea washes over youâand out of you. Kalim pats uselessly at your back; you appreciate the sentiment regardless.
âA âlittleâ of what? Isopropyl?â you cough. You shouldâve asked this before drinking it, but hindsight is 20/20. And the desire for inebriation is blinding.
âUh, Iâm not sure! I just grabbed a bottle. Everything we have is good, though!â
You scoff and instantly regret it as it burns behind your nose. âYeah, I got that impression.â
âAre you feeling okay now?â
âWell, I think itâs all out of my system,â you chuckle weakly. âI think. Donât wanna risk it.â
Draped disgustingly over the toilet, you watch Kalim leave your side and scramble aimlessly around the bathroom for a minute. Heâs somehow more directionless than you right now, and youâre hammered.
âIâll go get Jamil!â he announces abruptly, decisively, and then sprints off.
You wonder if you should get up and rinse your mouth out, but the microscopic voice of reason at the back of your mind says not to get up without supervision.
Youâll just have to wait for Jamil, then. Damn.
Â
Even with your eyes shut, you know exactly when the vice-housewarden arrives by the bone-shaking sigh he releases the moment he sees you.
âKalimâŠÂ What have you doneâŠâ
âHey, it's my fault too!â you murmur blindly with a thumbs up, tone inappropriately chipper.
Kalim himself stands in the doorway, looking anxious as ever. âNo, don't say that, Prefect! You didn't know!â
âItâs both your faults,â Jamil groans. He nudges a cup of water against your knuckle. âHere. Rinse your mouth.â
âIs the Prefect gonna be okay?â Jamilâs other ward stage-whispers while you swish water.
âYes. Go back to the party,â the vice-housewarden sighs again, and you spit into the toilet.
âReally? Are you sure?â
âYes, Iâll handle them. Go entertain your guests.â You feel Jamilâs tension instantly dissipate with the housewardenâs absence, but now whatâs left of it is focussed on you. âDrink.â
So you do. Between sips, âMmmm, water tastes really good right now~â
Arms crossed, he leans against the wall. Judging. ââŠHow much did you drink?â
You donât reply, too focussed on tasting your delicious water. Oooh, quenchy.
âYou didnât check what Kalim gave you?â he tries again.
Tip the glass fully back and slurp down the remaining drops; you place it on the floor; youâre running out of distractions.
âAre you that irresponsââ
âShut,â you snap. âWanted to get drunk tonight. Got there. We good.â
The heavy sigh you expect to hear doesnât come. All there is is the soft tumbling of a washing machine and distant laughter from the party.
Silently, Jamil picks up the empty cup. âMore water?â
âMmm.â
Attentively, he refills it and hands it back to you. âThank you,â you blabber.
Even drunk, youâre all too aware of the intensity of his gaze on you. So you stare back. âYouâre too pretty to be such an ass,â you say.
Caught between the compliment and the insult, Jamil scowls. âBold words from a drunkard who needs me to look after them. I donât have to do this charity.â
âI know, thatâs what sucks. I want to hate you.â
He scoffs, âBe my guest. Youâd be one of many.â
And thatâs the issue, isnât it? You canât.
Youâd been charmed the moment you met him, and things only got worse as you spent more time together. He was sweet and attentive and kind to you, and he gave you hope. Youâd spent late nights together, shared sweet nothings, relished the little meals heâd prepare for you despite having his hands full.
But apparently, it was all a façade. He doesnât like you, never has; you mean nothing to him, really. Youâd just been a pawn in his ballsy little scheme.
That realisation has you nauseous all over again.
 âI can only wish,â you laugh.  âThatâd make everything easier, yeah?â
I still like you goes unsaid. Though you suspect he understands when he pulls his hood over his head.
Instead, he diverts the conversation. âDo you still feel nauseous?â  Smooth as always.
 âI donât think so.â
âGood. Letâs get you to bed, then.â
As you attempt to get up and nearly crack your head on the wall,âPrefectâ!â he exclaims, his voice laced with more urgency than youâd like from him. âUgh, between you and Kalim, Iâm going to have a heart attack by the time Iâm 30.â
âSorry~â you drawl with your eyes shut. âBut you donât have to look after me, you know. I know you donât like me. You donât have to fake it anymore.â
You await a pointed assent from his sharp tongue, but it doesnât come.
âLive to at least 50, okay?â you continue. âIâm sorry.â
And you wonder if heâll take you up on your offer and leave you to suffer on the cold bathroom floor. But you feel his hand in yours, firm and calloused from unending servitude, and he gently pulls you up. His hand feels nice; youâd felt it before but holding it now makes your heart clench in the most pleasant, masochistic way.
Â
Time passes in blinks, and you soon arrive in your little dormroom, Jamil beside you to ensure you donât black out and die.
âYou should be able to brush your teeth now without wrecking your teeth,â you hear in the distance, already caught up in a half-dream state.
âDonât wanna,â escapes your lips. âTired.â
But thereâs a toothbrush in your mouth all of a sudden, and it doesnât matter how youâre feeling because Jamilâs here for you.
You hate it. You hate that he strings you along like this.
But he tucks you into bed propped up and youâre oh so tired, and the words just flow out: âI like you too much for my own good.â
And in the last moments of your consciousness, he pats your head.
HELLO HELLO HELLO!!! May i for headcanon in which twst characters accidentally find out that yuu is women (Sorry for mistakes but eanglish is not my first languageđđđ)
[BTW I LIVE YOUR WRITINGđđ„]
not even joking, i genuinely find it really funny that three offences were committed here hehehe
i do not write headcanons! i mention this in my request rules
i also state in my rules that i dislike the âOMG YOUâRE A WOMAN??!â trope
my requests are closed! it says so on the button you clicked when you (yes, you! đ«”) submitted this ask :]
the only reason iâm being such an ass and posting this is because iâm 95% sure it was mass-copy-pasted to 10+ writers. to the rest of my non-bot followers, ily and hope you have a great week
p.s. never apologise for english not being your first language
sillyfunny to see people praising the anti acceptance & affection anthology fics for the fluffs while my ass over here felt the most Emotionsâą with Jade's lowkey panic attack in the proposal fic (it was SO well described I felt my heart drop with his thoughts about it in the moment)
ohhhhh how I yearn for hurt/comfort đ
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! i also really love hurt/comfort so i'm happy that it hit for you :D with more practice, i hope to get better at it. then i can get more Emotionsâą from you >:] <3
when fic writers find fanart and put it in their posts uncredited, that's an instablock from me. could you guys not do that? i would think you'd be more respectful about art ownership since you're posting your own writing, but apparently not
Hihi!!! I just read your anti acceptance fic and I just wanna say it's SO cute omg I was giggling the whole time reading it especially during the food part and the dance part it's so silly and cute I love it
omg hi ! i've been genuinely enchanted by ur writing as a fellow jade truther i've reread your jade works like 5+ times THEY ARE SO SO AMAZING !!! all of them are absolutely perfect and i LOVE anti acceptance literally a permanent bookmark in my phone now ToT i was seriously smiling like a giggly schoolgirl reading them Lolol !! writing is not easy so always take time for yourself and keep being amazing !! :D
AH TYSM!!! heehee this ask has me smiling like a giggly schoolgirl myself; i always find compliments from fellow writers to be especially exciting :] and i'm ultra happy that you think my works are worth rereading >:D
you take care and keep being amazing yourself! thank you again đ«¶đ«¶đ«¶
omg hi,,, i read all of your masterlist last night and im not even a big jade fan but i was kicking my feet and giggling the entire time thank you for sharing your works here i loved them all !!! your writing is so beautiful <33
hi hi hi!! itâs my pleasure to share my silling little writings and iâm so jazzed that you let my jade brainworms wiggle into your socks :) THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY :D <333333
tags/warnings: cw bike, jade x reader, behold my true power
a/n: bikes are the bane of my existence. i once nosedived straight off the top of a ramp on a bike. was that my fault? maybe but i blame bichael
word count: 420
âKyaaaaa!! Iâm gonna be late for my first day of school!â you cry, jingle-jongling down the street in your big,
thick,
veiny
mushroom costume. So sexy.
Alarms and horns blare in your headâwait, no, those are the real sounds of car horns as you run against the direction of traffic.
âOUTTA MY WAY!â you bellow, voice dropping three octaves. âFUNGUS CHUNGUS COMING THROUGHâ
The police canât stop you: Their bullets ricochet off you. The fire department canât stop you: Their fire hoses only add fuel to the fire, your mushroom costume expanding with water. Nothing can stop you! Not when youâre late for your first day of school >o<
Youâre so close, only forty minutes late and two kilometres farther than you startedâhad to shake the cops, after allâwhen you meet him.
Your soulmate. You know heâs your soulmate because of his killer fashion sense. A fungal fashion sense, even. (Yes, heâs wearing the exact same thing as you. Couples matching outfits in advance.)
Also, heâs a hot biker boy. You can tell because he has a bike and nobody who isnât hot could rock a mushroom suit like that.
Also x2, he hit you with said bike. You got five seconds of airtime, bounced three times across the pavement, and are now flat on the ground.
Also x3, his choice of bike: a tandem bike, without a partner (choose your favourite of the two methods in the linked video). Pedalling at 65km/h (40mph). Step aside, motorcyclists; solo tandem cyclists are the biker boys⹠now.
(âWhy does Jade have a tandem bike to himself?â you, reader, might ask. âDid Floyd flake on him?â No, Floyd has never seen this bike in his life. A sappy couple left their rental unattended in the park and Jade knew what he had to do.)
âOya oya~â Sex Appeal Incarnate laughs. âMy apologies.â
Coup de foudre. âHey, you look like a fun-guy." You fan your face, absolutely smitten with the guy who ran you over, cuz youâre a freak like that. "You down for a date?â
âMy, what a spore-adic proposal! Letâs be on our way, then; I have space for a passenger on my bike.â
So you clamber onto the back seat, get pedalling, and leave your fate in Mushroom Manâs manly hands.
He immediately steers you both into a lake to see if your costumes will float. They donât, but they do absorb all the water in the lake.
Best date ever.
Anyways. You don't end up making it to school
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