The Occasional Voices In My Head

[udaykhanna97]

Lunch

Eating

I’m here.

I’m eating lunch.

And there is she

Having lunch with me.

 I’ve had lunch before.

In fact I had some yesterday.

She’s had lunch before too,

with me.

The fact is I don’t know when

But I know I knew some time ago.

 I chew and I swallow,

I run my tongue against my teeth,

I laugh,

I choke,

I cough,

I puke,

I laugh,

I chew

And I swallow.

We have been here before, done this before.

Yet I can’t seem to think of when we were, when we did.

It is as if we have been this way forever.

Eating lunch.

Not Eating

“How old are you now?”

She asked.

I lifted my hands for another bite.

And I grew older.

I tried to tell her that I grew older as I lifted my hands for another bite.

And I grew older.

I tried to think about how I could not tell her that I grew older as I lifted my hands for another bite.

And I grew older.

 I tried to seize a moment,

And the moment passed as I squeezed my metaphysical fist.

I tried to place a thought within an instant,

And spent an infinite instants to acknowledge its existence.

I tried to be in an instant,

But I was stretched across space time,

Eating,

So I stopped.

 I wasn’t eating anymore,

She wasn’t either,

And so forever came to an end.

 How old are we?

  Beyond forever

I wish we could grow old together.

But my breaths pass yours so swiftly.

Your lungs never learned to gallop

And I’ve been breathing for so long now.

 How old are we?

How old did we say we’d never be?

What would it take to stop you from breathing?

[udaykhanna97]

I stopped at the exit, looking for my pass When a pigeon staggered past Flapping it's wings frantically It wasn't hurt in a physical way But its head was turned upside down We tried turning it around but it wouldn't stay It couldn't seem to agree with me. When i told him that you're navigating incorrectly Like a husband as pure as patriarchy Filled with a newborn ego of a lost virginity But i asked him reasonably "I'm reasonable you see? Tell me why your world is true Give me a premise or two And i'll dangle from the tree with you." He said "i have no answer for you. Cause both worlds are true That's a solipsist's way Ironically, That's the closest you get to reality Because it's the best we can do." So i dangled from the tree Bathed under the sunlight discussing philosophy He couldn't fly in my world But in his own He had stars shining bright under his nose To travel through space all he had to do was let go.

[udaykhanna97]

Cushions for Two

I had the same cushion as you. The one with the bird or maybe it’s a W I never really knew. You’d put a new cover on it in the morning. Cover the pale cushion’s face. Color the pale cushion’s day. And i’d put it away, everyday. Let it grow moss in the bath. Green on grey in the aftermath. Tiny people crawling till their death Night time breathers of solitary breaths Will wander the forests instead.

I love you, And they love you. I know you don’t like cushions wet with dew So take your cushion out when you’re feeling blue. If you’re dreaming blue. It’s seeping blue. Weeping blue. cry into the sunlight And the forest will stay, Just for today, But that’s okay. Be a little blue every other day, Give their children some place to stay, Cause they love you And they’ll tell you how much i loved you.

You were right, cushions aren’t meant to be grey, Mine was a bit too blue, But that’s okay.

[udaykhanna97]

Probability-II (shaking hands)

I hate shaking hands,

Clamping onto the next breathing thing,

The prospect of an eternity,

Snatched away instantaneously.

 And how can i say with absolute certainty,

That you want to shake hands with me?

I mean, they're clammy!

But it's more than that.

Flesh on bones bleeds uncertainty in my head,

And brains aren't supposed to be this red.

 It's hard to hold your hand without a hold on reality.

But if you are like me,

You know, we don't scare easy.

 One day they decided to leave,

For a few days at least,

I was a theatre kid,

The responsible child was an animated imagery.

I could give you tips,

If you're ever in need.

 They said

"protecting the fortress is your responsibility.

Cause we don't know what's in your head,

And we can't let you sleep in our bed."

 The island was as big as my body,

I could swim but it seemed unnecessary.

The air propped open the door

Sunlight lit up the water like sand on the floor.

Waiting for a shadow to show the footsteps of a visitor

Who'd tell me skipping to the climax is a blasphemy

The religion is called humanity

It's in in the name deary

I know this reeks of hypocrisy,

I know, and i'm sorry.

 She said

"Don't be sorry,

Fear is wisdom in midst of a catastrophe,

Sherlock told me."

 She had locks of cigarette snow

We were in love instantly and forever before.

That's how it usually goes.

She said

"Let the heavens watch us heavenly,

Let our corrupted skins intertwine

It isn't an eternity but we'll make it worthwhile."

 "Wake up already,

 get something to eat

I might not exist but i can't love a dead body."

I said

"If the universe were big enough you'd exist with me.

But it's all about probability,

And it's improbable that you’d ever meet me."

[udaykhanna97]

Probability-I

Learn probability like poetry. Remember the way it sounds as it courses through your body. Taste it generously as it leaves with your breath. Preach it to the ones asking for death. Recitation is never futile. 'Cause you know your mouth will go dry, More sooner than later. When you'll start to notice passages within your skin. Crickets crawling from the barricades to your fingertips. Lines you never noticed before. Old skin sinking in crippled bones. 'Cause every second is a probability, But that doesn't bother me. Cause the probability of our demise is certainly, One. One is number who'll die, One will have no mercy. So please don't cry, 'Cause it seems pointless to me. When my body gets cold, The rain will become snow. You're not scared for me, I know, You're just scared to go Cause one will die, And you may try, But you will fail miserably.

[udaykhanna97]

Eskimo's Son

When I was young I used to try and look really far hoping that I might see something new. Things I had only seen pictures of, buildings and roads full of people, and the colours, all of them roaming around, painted in the colours of their choice. Every single day a different colour, but there was only the snow, plain and white like a blanket on the whole world, an empty canvas waiting for a splash of paint to bring all those people, those who’ve gone pale as snow, back to life.

If I kept staring long enough and far enough and hard enough, I sometimes saw a little green or specks of red but my father told me that it’s just the sunlight trying to fool my eyes. 

It still looks the same, just like the view from my bedroom window, but this time we’re walking towards the edge, so I’ll have to keep my eyes open, and stare farther and for longer than ever before.

[kotharikusho-blog]

‘Enpitsu Hinto-san shorts’- #2

Complex classroom love story! He’s not very good when it comes to girls

For more follow @enpitsu_hinto on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram

[kotharikusho-blog]

‘Enpitsu Hinto-san shorts’- #1

When you are bored and suddenly get an idea and poof, blank again

For more follow @enpitsu_hinto on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and @enpitsu-hinto on Tumblr

#shorts #manga #comics #comicstrips #shorts #shortstories #kawaii #cute

[udaykhanna97]

Why To Wake Up Today

Because yesterday was probably a nightmare.

Because there are things like Doctor Who and Looking For Alaska in this world.

Because something could make you very happy, probably won’t happen, but might.

Because there is someone somewhere is asking the same question, and you’d like to talk to them.

Because you promised.

Because you have something to say. Whether or not someone is listening is irrelevant.

[udaykhanna97]

Words make sentences- 4

Cherry Wine

The girl with diamond toes With diamond feet on diamond floors Twisting and turning furiously. Making movements so heavenly.

There was no space For the light to enter or escape She spinned on and on With stereos wishing she could be unborn It was a test to see Who’d get more weary

As the lights started to fade And her skin began to show She kept spinning in this perpetual state As the blood began to flow, Painting spirals in red, She’ll be spinning till she’s dead Splattered in the darkness all over Bits and pieces spinning, getting slower.

But then she saw her face Staring back at her serendipitous gaze. Realised, there was never much to do Just not to cry and you’d seem okay. It was easy to pass the day. When you didn’t look like you have hell to pay.

Then she knew, She could come back any day, Cry for some reasons stashed away Splash cherry wine all over the floor And everytime spin just a little more.

[udaykhanna97]

Words make scentences-3

She loved to rhyme Had too many birthdays in too little time I said to her "How are you?" She said "I'm dying and so are you." "Oh, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it" "No, it's okay" i said, "i get it." Her mirror was charred and mine, rotten. Other mirrors screamed truths she'd never forgotten. I said "Come with me." "We'll be mirrors, with a beautiful lie lying in between. Look right at me and we'll have countless lies in between"

[peeyonce-deactivated20200120]

[gunsnhydrangeas]

fuck

[udaykhanna97]

Words make sentences-2

The world is not a wish granting factory is a statement which is hard to wrap your mind around, surely there has to be something that is based on sheer luck, some tiny miracles have to be possible, but I think now I have a grip on it. I will have the same milestones as most of us. I will study for some time till someone let’s me be part of their machine, then I’m going to fuck an innocent woman just because our parents want us to. I’ll keep on working in that same machine so that I can help another life that I gave birth to realise the same truth that I have, everyone lives miserably and the only thing you can do about it is die, but if you are a cat synonym like most of us are you will continue living miserably till the day someone will grant you death.

[udaykhanna97]

Words make sentences-1

Being annoying is I guess my way of politely telling people that I will push you under the trolley if it was going to save five other lives. I mean, in that situation, you are the hero. Then again, us humans are pretty hard to understand.

Like the time when that really nice girl gathered all her courage to tell me, an average in all aspects douche bag, that she really liked me and I replied “oh, thanks” and I left. Which seems perfectly fine to me but apparently it isn’t.

I understood at that point in time that she was asking me to be in a relationship with her but I couldn’t understand why?

1. Aren’t we just kids?

2. Is it compulsory?

These were my usual worries to any request or task at that age.

I wanted to be polite and hence I said ‘thank you’ what I couldn’t understand was what she was expecting to achieve by establishing a relationship with a 12 year old person being the same age herself. What void in her social sphere was she trying to fill with me? There was no intellectual thirst for knowledge, nor were we eager to unravel the mysteries of life as 6th graders. I mean she was just another person co existing with me and was the part of the same social circle as I; it was not that she chose me; it was the lack of choices around her that made me seem like a choice.

So the next time I met her I told her this, somewhat. Considering that I was a non-prodigious 6th grader it is very impressive how I used the abstractness of language to express all of that with such simplicity.

I said to her “Why?” and again “Why?” and again and again till I got my point across.

[udaykhanna97]

(via https://vine.co/v/MgZ3l1AtnOm)

[udaykhanna97]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHhkd2B87Q8)

[udaykhanna97]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaES6oIEWZw)