Even if you’re angry with your body, you still need to feed it and treat it with respect

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@uffdadays-blog
Even if you’re angry with your body, you still need to feed it and treat it with respect
Me: *sets getting my period as one of my primary recovery goals*
Me, this morning: *gets my period, is really excited*
Me, two hours later: wait why the fuck did I want this again?????
IOP is wild y'all like... It's fine I guess? But everything feels unstable all the time, and I have a completely new meal plan that I'm not familiar with yet. I'm anxious all the time and it kinda sucks.
My nutritionist told my mom that I need to go into a higher level of treatment yesterday (like an actual treatment center). She thinks I'm a good candidate for iop, but there's no gaurantee of anything, and I'm just... terrified? Like what's gonna happen? What even is treatment???
Доставка хлеба
The Russian cat community really keeps giving
I could have gone for a run today (I haven't been able to all week bc school and daylight savings), but instead I stayed home and drank hot chocolate with one of my best friends, and I think that's about as much of a win as I'm going to get this week
Listen to me
You are allowed to eat.
You are allowed to drink.
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to take a break.
You are allowed to treat yourself.
You are allowed to say no.
You are allowed to put yourself first
today feels like a great day to move far away to the mountains and never come back, who’s with me
I love how I got to a semi-stable place during the summer, and then school started and my mental health went to shit.
15 things to remember:
1. that thing you did that was kind of embarrassing and weird, everyone else forgot about that already
2. you look fine today, if you can’t notice something on your face standing 6 feet from a mirror then nobody else will either.
3. social lives can go through cycles sometimes, if you feel like your friends are all ignoring you for no reason they’re probably just busy with other things.
4. if you can’t stop thinking about someone or something, read a book, paint your nails or watch a movie. it won’t solve any serious problems but you will feel better.
5. listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.
6. if you want something, go get it.
7. drink lots of water, eat lots of fruit, exercise more, go outside, get enough sleep and think positive thoughts.
8. if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
9. throw away the idea of a perfect tomorrow and live in the moment.
10. stop comparing yourself to others.
11. a beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. It’s a privilege to simply be alive and healthy. Start acting like life is a blessing.
12. act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you’d like to act.
13. you will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. you’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
14. you don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
15. being happy is the most important thing.
staying positive about recovery is rough when your dietician appointments are really invonvenient and you don't feel like you need them
Some days eating feels like a victory, and some days you just have to eat, even though ED is bitching up a storm in your head, and hope that there will come a time when those days feel like victory too.
Am I the only one who arranges their food to look nice before eating it??? Like I don't know if I'm procrastinating or I think it's easier to eat when it looks nice, but either way I end up arranging my berries and other extra shit like that and I don't really know what to think about it.
Notes to myself —
Skipping meals and feeling hungry is not an accomplishment and you shouldn’t ever listen to the monster in your head that tells you it is.
You’re allowed to eat
You deserve to eat
Eating is a necessary part of life
I just love being so moody and unstable that my oatmeal boiling over in the microwave makes me throw a fit!! Really makes me confident that it'll be easy to readjust to school in two weeks!!
Don’t you just love when your parents talk about food in a problematic way in front of you, but give you a whole lecture about “attitude” after ONE joke about being obligated to see your therapist?