THE ULTIMATE GRIEF MACHINE IS NOW ONLINE...
> Enter name.
what will you name him?
[ MALKAT VANTAS_]
That's a stupid fucking name. Try again
> Try again.
[MALCOLM_]
There, that's better.
> Introduce.
Your name is MALCOLM. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You like SHITTY INDUSTRIAL MUSIC and you have a strange obsession with the indie rock band INTERPOL. You make WEIRD PUPPETS and EVEN WEIRDER DRAWINGS and are an aspiring STORYBOARD ARTIST. You don't give a shit about MEANINGLESS INTERNET DRAMA and DON'T HAVE A DNI. You're 17 YEARS OLD and know you're doomed to always be CHRONICALLY ONLINE. You dress and act like a FREAK but retain your DIGNITY. Funnily enough, you also enjoy occasionally LYING TO YOURSELF.
you also love STUPID STAMPS.
This is literally you while making this GOD AWFUL INTRODUCTION.
What will you do?
> Post on this godforsaken hellsite.
> End of introduction
