after ever

i keep waiting for you to look back

[umhaeil-blog]

room 402

[umgyul-blog]

umhaeil‌:

continued from here 

“she was nice about it.” the receptionist, he means and only if he wants to keep the association at that and nothing more. reason being: any labels beyond that, and it’s a whole nose-dive into exploring why and how running into an ex-intern could possibly be more painfully awkward than a chance encounter with an actual ex, but that can wait until they head in. 

haeil slots the card, and the dot above the door handle blips green, then turns it. what he expects on the other side is nothing out of the ordinary. reaching for the light-switch, he flicks it on. 

what he actually sees: this. 

“…”

(img cred: @umgoeun) 

“the middle aged woman from before?” she’d make a thoughtful noise. not exactly sure nice was the proper descriptive word she would’ve used judging from the get-go. though there’s no saying that the woman wouldn’t have acted different on a one-on-one interaction rather than a quick check in of two. 

regardless, there’s no reason to ponder further, fingers pressing into the bicep of her companion idly as she waits. the door creaks open, revealing a room of yellow, whites, blacks, and reds.

at first, it doesn’t click. too taken perhaps, by the obscene amount of color and decor. gyul had pulled away to step inisde, peering from wall to wall before landing on the bed—shaped like—ah—it’s a ramen room. 

“what did you ask for, exactly?” humor colors her tone, lips twitching when she turns to regard him. there’s no other way to take this absurdity beyond amusement. and, maybe a bit of hesitance. 

did they really have to stay here?

[umyeop]

cold comfort

[umgyul-blog]

umyeop‌:

“no.”

anything to wipe that smile off her face. sangyeop only does it for the fleeting reaction, however, quick to gesture to an employee currently idle at the opposite side of the shop. “same day and after we’re closed only.” it’s a very-gyul choice, this particular set. gyul from the end of early 00s, gyul now. it’s all the same but he has yet to figure why. removing the price tag from the knob of the center drawer, he tucks it into his front pocket, making a mental note to charge her for it only after it’s gotten to her place safely. some trust, huh? if you’re black-and-white about things, you might as well go all out. unless inconsistency’s your thing.

it’s what he first asks her about in the next twenty minutes when they’re seated somewhere he’s had yet to touch. “you in and out of here?” the city, he means. his reflection’s pretty okay in the cutlery laid before them, lips pursed as his attention transfers to the other, undivided. a ring’s on her finger, somehow a decoration and only that. “committed?”

“tch.”

her lip curls. nothing unpleasant, teetering playful in the too nostalgic meet of old acquaintances. some things don’t change. certain dynamics in particular don’t change. even though between them now no longer sits a table and several text books. “great, i’ll be expecting it tonight then.” watches idly while he moves, smile in place. people don’t change. even if one’s build is different, eyes are darker, carries with them a weight unseen in their youth. the base, the foundations of their being, it’s still the same isn’t it? 

yeah. that’s what she likes to think. that she’s still the same.

“yup.” attention halved between her coffee and the man sitting across from her. gyul moves absently, poised, fingers pinching a small metal spoon she stirs idly by. “i work over in gangnam, nothing too interesting though—just 9 to 5.” there’s a slight pause, smallest shift in demeanor. nothing big. simply a tighter smile when she pulls the spoon out, taps it against the rim of the cup. “yeah, three years ago.” a raised brow. “i thought i sent your family an invitation to the wedding though?”

but it’s—nothing important to dwell on. gyul makes it clear with the laugh that flitters through, lifting the cup to her lips for a small sip. “what about you, then? and your mom?”

[umgyul-blog]

trick to falling.

[umgyul-blog]

umhaeil‌:

committed to keeping up appearances, he doesn’t look her way at first. flip, filter: the pages of a proposal for investing in boiled wool from armritsar, through the spiel of why it should be done and how it has been thus far. none of this registers as new information—their floor has been a flurry of activity, and talk spreads faster and faster with each mile crossed.

self-restraint, however, only applies when the other party stays well in the dark. here? not even close. under the sun, playing pretend is a must, and there’s no need to say it out loud. it’s also in broad daylight that the clarity of everything is startling, almost visceral, the sort that sends quiet shivers down the spine.

his thoughts wanders in the wake of it. there’s not one vacant seat around the table, but in the mind’s eye the conference room is enclosed to the presence of two bodies, blinds drawn to the careful sink into a soft ache. contained fantasies with no end nor beginning. 

the way gyul’s attention remains unrequited is only momentarily. he turns another page, and the speaker has only reached the midpoint. then looks up, then looks away, as fleeting and longing as a touch can be.

cue moment lapses. time only told by the looming tick-tock of the clock that hung on the wall behind her. gyul’s focus fluctuates, entirely dependent on eyes that meet hers. lingers for a yearning moment. brush of quiet acknowledgement between the two. beyond that, there’s nothing more. nothing she can afford to slip past an iron-clad grip.

before them lies a different world entirely. the real world. one laid thick with excel sheets and reports on tonnage, troubleshoot with shipments, contracts, and so forth. all this, she takes in with an idle ear; certainly not being any information she hadn’t already read over prior to this. this meeting, at least for this week, acted more like a last minute plea for those who fell behind expectations. 

executioner was never her favorite to play, but it weighs heavy on her shoulders. her role. her responsibility.

but till then—till then, she’ll indulge. eyes cutting to the side profile to her right, she’s brazen in the way she holds her gaze, waiting till he relents, and their eyes meet. then, a playful coy curve, near flirting, before her attention turns back to the powerpoint displayed; smile absent in place.

the presentation lulls, a dreary drone that sets the mood. the rest of the room easily follows suit, and in due time—the next team leader shuffles to speak. and so on. 

[umyeop]

cold comfort

11ish, @gyulom. 

it’s whatever, he guesses. there is nothing impossible about seeing people from the past walking back into his life, but. to lie? about being fine and dandy with it? see: out of character. he doesn’t bother hiding the scowl on his face when gyul’s two sentences in, potential purchases placed neatly away from her hands… god knows where.

“i’ve been here.” sangyeop scratches his head, taking a deep breath as he peers at another customer past her shoulder. only they get an apologetic smile from him, gyul being the recipient of the tight-lipped version for holding up the line. “and so have you.” if condescending was her thing almost a decade ago, he can only wonder what’s made her keep that aspect in check for all this lost time. such is morbid curiosity, an itch to at least take it outside once he finishes ringing up the current queue. sniffling quietly, he wipes the tip of his nose and pushes his glasses up the bridge, motioning for the next person to come right up.

“lunch is soon,” he offers with half a mind, traveling away from the counter to properly scan some of the larger items in the customer’s cart. what’s of his mind is a lot more than the guts and heart he has to ask if she’d want any more friends. if an age gap of five years meant anything still within your late 20s/early 30s. “but window shop away from the counter until then.”

[umgyul-blog]

seeing old acquaintances feels much so like seeing her younger self again. the telltale trickle of ah, i was like this... i felt like this... i remember this... nostalgia that washes over her. shallow waves in a sea of memories long forgotten. not for him, nor anyone else, but a quiet yearning, reminiscent of herself, then—who she used to be, then. 

but often times it’s just her, not surprising nor shocking, teeming with unbridled emotion seldom reciprocated. that’s life. gyul doesn’t expect anything more or less from the likes of sangyeop. “ah,” she can certainly take a hint, fingers running over the rim of the bag absently, slipping around the handle, goodbye at the ready. well, not so fast.

“sure.” agrees all too easily with little much to do on a weekend beyond this. gyul busies herself with what she does best, picking through trinkets and various sorts. she lingers at a vanity when he approaches, fingers tapping against polished wood idly. her eyes lift, meeting his with a small amiable smile.“do you guys deliver?” 

[umgyul-blog]

trick to falling.

it’s a—hitch. blunder. oversight. moment of weakness. mistake. no, start over. it’s wretched. that’s it. wretched. depraved. wanton. mistake no longer, with the way it snowballed from the tipping point. no longer a thing that happened that one time. or those two times. or however many times to come.

it is a conscious decision now. one made in the same breath as lying to herself. as stubbornly forcing herself into a heart that no longer welcomes her. but, more on that later.

there’ll always be time to talk about hong gyul’s failures, later. however sparse yet glaring ones they line up to be.

today’s setting brings us to a different kind of concern. the kind that begs for immediate attention. these days, namely, things that fall under that category stands to be work related.

“so,” tone idle, her eyes sweep over the faces sitting opposite absently, lingering briefly on the male to her right before lowering to the ipad in hand; pink of her tongue swiping over her lower lip. it’s nothing big in particular, simply a weekly meeting to play catch up on progress between markets. if anything, it could just as easily been something emailed to her. but gyul finds it far easier to exert bits of pressure when it’s face to face.

“india team, can you start us off?” even so, her tone is bored. her body language is uninspired, back straight, pen tapping against the table, expression passive while the team lead drones on.

only ever so occasionally, does her eyes flicker over to one kwon haeil; lingering briefly with a twitch of her lips. entertainment in small dosages, or something like that. 

@omhaeil

[umgyul-blog]

this is so fucked welcome to my personal hell with three charas and no end in sight — anyway here’s (1) one unhappy every day working woman struggling. her personality’s kind of up in the air atm but in general just an intimidating looking woman (by dress/demeanor), hates socializing but hates being alone more that kind of puzzling stuff. what can i say she’s in her 30s and trying not to fall apart. you can find her profile page HERE.

rough plots ok

former snu squad

old best friend circa elem/middle school to hs but lost touch etc

coworkers (for any muses in an office setting)

siblings

family friends

kids she used to tutor in hs/college as favors for her parents (so like, sort of a dongsaeng-noona rls now)

same social circle but never really spoke to e/o one on one

husband’s friends 

former party friends from college that she doesn’t really want to talk to anymore bc she outgrew that life

exes/former flings

awfully large bag of soil for a thin woman with thinner heels to be lugging around. but no, really, she doesn’t want help. *really* stop. *fumbles* “*sighs through nose*”

accidentally?? wrecks her suit/bag/shoes/wtv “…i’ll pay for it” “it costs [OBSCENE AMT]” “what” “yeah”

[umgyul-blog]

this is so fucked welcome to my personal hell with three charas and no end in sight — anyway here’s (1) one unhappy every day working woman struggling. her personality’s kind of up in the air atm but in general just an intimidating looking woman (by dress/demeanor), hates socializing but hates being alone more that kind of puzzling stuff. what can i say she’s in her 30s and trying not to fall apart. you can find her profile page HERE.

rough plots ok

former snu squad

old best friend circa elem/middle school to hs but lost touch etc

coworkers (for any muses in an office setting)

siblings

family friends

kids she used to tutor in hs/college as favors for her parents (so like, sort of a dongsaeng-noona rls now)

same social circle but never really spoke to e/o one on one

husband’s friends 

former party friends from college that she doesn’t really want to talk to anymore bc she outgrew that life

exes/former flings

awfully large bag of soil for a thin woman with thinner heels to be lugging around. but no, really, she doesn’t want help. *really* stop. *fumbles* “*sighs through nose*”

accidentally?? wrecks her suit/bag/shoes/wtv “...i’ll pay for it” “it costs [OBSCENE AMT]” “what” “yeah”

[fx5rx]