Thinking about semi-realistic addict in recovery Sam
Where he's twitchy and fast to get angry due to withdrawals and not knowing so he thinks his anger is something bad or wrong with him, until he does know and tries to find some anger management that discusses addiction
Where for months after he stops using demon blood Dean makes sure the cases they take have nothing to do with demons at all, and when they get a suspicion of demon activity they send it to Bobby and dont go after it themselves. Not because Dean is handholding him, but because its still fresh and they both need a break.
Where he goes into a depressive period for weeks, nothing feels normal everything feels like its in greyscale. Luckily Dean is also dealing with his own hopelessness, so Sam doesnt have to pretend to be happier than he is.
Where he looses his sex drive but doesnt really notice because he also gets really body dysmorphic too, noticing scars and aches and pains hes never noticed before. Scars he got while high he doesnt remember until he's sober. He gets muscle spasms he has to account for when he's shooting, muscle cramps that keep him up at night. Insomnia and headaches too.
Where eating doesnt feel as good anymore, so he just eats whatever Dean puts in front of him, he makes sure there are salads and fruits he knows Sam likes, but those eating brain chemicals never activate like they used too so it feels like he's eating nothing, lettuce just tastes like cold water.
Where after all of that passes, Sam finds himself so bored. He doesnt remember drinking blood and using his powers taking so much of his time before but now that was gone its a big blank hole he tries to fill with hunting, and when it gets too close and he has to take a break, anything that can take up his attention (working odd jobs, reading books, watching TV, driving aimlessly and everything is boring).
Where Sam gets hospital level injured and he stops the doctors from giving him anything too strong, nothing addictive because he doesnt want to go from one addiction to another.
Semi realistic addict in recovery Sam
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
origamiaround
izzy806
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
titsay
