hey.

[catchymemes]

“I visited the pumpkin patch yesterday and decided to bring home a pumpkin that in shape appeared to be a penguin. Friends and family were mystified until I started painting him.“

by Volensblood

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[aroseforno-one-deactivated20221]

me? an idiot? who gets attached to people way too fast? well yeah of course

[emperorozark]

[emperorozark]

This is my favorite one tbh

[catchymemes]

Spoopy Bongos (Youtube/Volvagia´s Blaze)

[madprincevagabond-deactivated20]

My favorite so far!

[perezhilton]

[stupendousmelody]

When you are one with the music

[thirstym8nd]

Luvs it

[rae-redacted]

WHO IS SHE

[guyofyear]

ALONDRA DE LA PARRA

[theunimpairedcondition]

[counterpunches]

#a warning to anyone out there attracted to women#she looks great in a tux

[ryoubakvra]

most blessed social interaction of the day? there was a dog in the car next to me at a stop light and his owner noticed me cooing over him so she rolled the window down and i rolled mine down and she shouted “HIS NAME IS CHECKERS!” and i said “HI CHECKERS!” and checkers, that amazingly good boy, lit up like a christmas tree and wagged his beautiful tail

[thesassycat]

what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind

[this-slag]

my alternate self is getting some serious dick 

[animationsource]

Chuckie, this is your mommy.

[juelzsantanabandana]

[catsbeaversandducks]

What Happens When Zookeepers Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

Via Bored Panda

[thesanityclause]

For my zookeeper friends

[theweirdwideweb]

[g00dnfruity-deactivated20221029]

[darkseid-deactivated20190806]

good news everyone!!!!

[fwizard]

thank GOD

[ghost-nettle]

the smell of garlic cooking adds three years to my life and purges me of all evils, cleansing my whole soul

[galactic-kosher-ace]

So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When I asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like “Lady Macbeth,” and he nodded like “I know what I’m about ma’am.” So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said “HE’S THE ONE, HE’S MY WIFE!” So I said “yeah sure why not,” and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say “I’m the luckiest man on Earth” and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like “BABE!”.

I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read ‘Macbeth’ before, so… all this lovey dovey… I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them the truth.

[galactic-kosher-ace]

Update:

Macbeth is absolutely willing to fucking throw down for Lady Macbeth. Has already threatened a wall, a desk, a few students, a textbook that was neither his nor Lady Macbeth’s, and me

Lady Macbeth is enjoying the attention and has begun to use this new connection to his advantage. I’m starting to suspect he’s read ahead in the play.

Macbeth is going to end up living in detention at this rate.

Macbeth has no idea that he is the tragedy of the story. Claims to be the hero of the play, fails to see the irony in this

Macbeth slowly scooted his desk across the classroom to hold hands with Lady Macbeth. He was not subtle.

Macbeth has proposed on several occasions. Lady Macbeth just laughs and says they’re already married.

Macbeth’s girlfriend is in the class with them and is “totally not jealous or anything just thinks this whole fucking play is a waste of time”

Lady Macbeth should probably be a theatre major at some point, he fucking rocked Act V scene I

Other teachers and staff are emailing me about the “lovely lords”. Lady Macbeth now refuses to answer to anything other than Lady Macbeth and is always very upset when people don’t call him by his proper title.

[bloodcritic]

I’d like to spend time with gay men too tho. where’s my small beloved group of fun. kind. casual gays and lesbians

[bloodcritic]

2 days after this post I got invited by a lesbian couple I just met to stay the night & watch Moana with them & my friend who’s a gay dude & another gay I just met so this is the gaypost, reblog to bring gay friends to you

[gfscully]

lads…… it’s march. how we coping

[foundherselfs]

[steven]

sorry i have bubonic plague i can’t hang out tonight

[61below]

aw rats