chasing windmills

this is analogous to the pacific ocean. take from that what you will. zotzotzot memories of the land of the rising sun: unicornoftheseE.tumblr.com

[unicornofthesea]

i’m supposed to try writing again. 

so here’s my first stab, whispering into an empty room, once filled with friends, strangers, and anonymous passers-by. just a gentle hello. it’s been two years. i have a quiz tomorrow morning. some thing haven’t changed, clearly. but in some ways, so many things have. i’ll leave it at that for now. 

[unicornofthesea]

yikes this turned out longer than i thought

just wanted to come back and flesh out a thought i’ve been thinking about a lot. i remember what i was doing the first time it crossed my mind. it was third year, it was definitely the middle of the day or early evening and i was wrapped up in my tiny yellow bed in sam and i’s room and i realized that growing up means that problems and life events don’t settle down or go away anymore. a lot of the times, things that seem like a big deal aren’t and eventually you forget about them and your life goes on as normal. but after a certain point, there is no ‘normal’ anymore. it’s so naive to think so. how do you go back to normal after finding out your grandma has lung cancer and an upwards of three years to live? three years later, how do you go back to normal after failing every single class in a quarter? how do you go back to normal after losing and failing to find yourself abroad but relishing in every glorious humid moment? how do you go back to normal after you come home and realize your grandma doesn’t remember you most of the time and you have to pull over on a random freeway exit just to have a good mental breakdown? the answer is you don’t. you can’t just start over and have a second chance death is death and it stops for nobody and all you can do is your best. all you can do is your best. and i don’t know if i’m doing my best right now but i’m trying. i haven’t heard enough stories. it’s been almost three years since and with another death on the precipice i’m honestly very afraid and i felt like even though i was rightfully crushed by the last one, i felt like i handled it as best i could. i did my best, i have as few regrets as possible but suddenly it seems like there isn’t enough time. but there isn’t ever enough time an that is life and sometimes it feels like my life has gone back to normal but i think in the past three years i’ve realized a little secret. it didn’t get easier, i think i just became stronger. life establishes a new normal and learning to adapt and adjust is the only way to survive. i’m happier now than i could have imagined myself being six months ago. and six months ago i was happier than i thought i could be six months before that. and all this comes at a cost. but with time and experience i know i can handle what lies ahead. not because i want to, but because i have no choice. your granddaughter is not a cookie. she does not crumble. i’ll just keep doing what i always have been doing: my very best.

[unicornofthesea]

The sines as numbers

sin(pi/6): 1/2

sin(pi/4): 1/sqrt(2)

sin(pi/3): sqrt(3)/2

sin(pi/2): 1

sin(pi): 0

sin(3pi/2): -1

sin(2pi): 0

[breadonearth]

my sunset collection (by Joanne Liu)

[diabolicalconversationalist-dea]

[thisusedtoberum-deactivated2017]

The reason aang and katara are great friends is because they started with a good ice breaker

[safyresky]

#the opening line to Sokka’s best man speech at their wedding

[doglets-deactivated20140515]

actually all of my systems are nervous

[hugclub]

In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act

[empresspinto]

hey guys, hope your skin is clear and you get a text from someone you like real soon.

also that your lunch tastes good, you find twenty dollars on the ground, and that thing coming up that you were dreading turns out not so bad

[loren-vance]

Passing this good karma

[pocketsofroses]

I reblogged this 3 days ago and my skin got clear and I got a message from a guy who refers to me as queen yesterday. Good karma vibes all around.

[darlingshane]

[fruitmart-deactivated20200526]

me: *understands one word without subtitles*

me: im practically fluent

[catmint-sketchbook]

I don’t usually do much fan art in general, but I’ve been wanting to do one of those cool Pokemon variations things that have been showing up a lot lately (like this one, and that one) so I did Porygon!  Porygon is super fun to draw, by the way.

[kablamjamdan-deactivated2018100]

Rest in Peace, Iwata….

[lesbyterianchurch]

[singingonpavements]

[tofuvi]

mochi animals and foliage.

[youdothemath]

How to lose control

You remember reading a quote once that said something like “What if the cure for cancer is stuck inside a brain that can’t afford an education?” This is a troubling thought to you, but your self-involved side makes the joke, “What if the person you’re supposed to end up with is stuck inside a phone that doesn’t have Tinder?” You laugh, but really start to consider it. You’re in the middle of a heat wave. There’s an excess of tan skin, and cold cocktails, and grass that needs to be watered. Sometimes it makes you feel happy and light. Sometimes it makes you feel claustrophobic, like the sun is interrogating you. A part of you misses cold weather, and an excuse to wear all black clothing. Another person asks you if you’ve ever been paid to write. The answer is no, of course. It makes you think about when you had a serving job in college. All you wanted to do was be on the other side. The side where people were enjoying eating at a restaurant and being waited on. You’re not sure you’d like the other side of writing. You fear what will happen if you lose your creative control. You fear what will happen if you lose control in other ways. You think you want to be in a relationship. At least that’s what you tell yourself. But sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re actually into someone, or if you’re just being a control freak. This worries you. It’s the 4th of July weekend and you’re playing with your friends. You’re laughing and dancing and drinking. You whisper inside jokes and filter photos. You stay out too late. You fall asleep before the fireworks start. You keep falling asleep before things start. You keep starting relationships you can’t finish. You want to have all creative control, but maybe it’s best to leave it in someone else’s hands.