An Everyday Mystery Delivery
âOh god, what did you do to me? Iâm enormous.â
<He smiles wickedly and moves to feel your growing belly.>
âAnd ruin the surprise? Never.â
âNo hints. You know the rules: you find out as you watch yourself push it out.â
âI beg your pardon, I canât see it as I push it out, you do.â
âAnd itâs absolutely my favorite show.â
<Your middle protests at a familiar tightening. Itâs time. You birth often, you know this process well.>
âWell, get the popcorn because the show is about to start. Ooo.â
<He beams with excitement. Your labor will be short this time, you can sense it. You can also feel a throbbing, a need as your contracting womb squeezes more and more, closer and closer, desire for relative relief growing until thereâs a pop and fluid gushes from your nethers.>
âHoly shit! I donât think Iâve ever seen your waters burst out of you like that before. They exploded and just kept coming!â
âMnnnghhh not even with one of the melons? Theyâre alwaysâŠhooooâŠjuicy.â
âNot even with any of the sea creaturesâand you know how they are. Iâm convinced Mother Nature tries to pack their amniotic sacs like their natural habitat.â
âSoâohhhh god, my laborâs really starting up here. Oh Jesus this hurtsâthis..this is a sea creature? If it is, tell me now, because I donât want to have to waddle to the jacuzzi tub with a porpoise crowning between my legs again, desperately trying not to push.â
<He smothers a laugh. It had been agony for you, but one of the hottest scenes heâd ever witnessed. In the end, the little porpoise had been nearly half born by the time heâd helped you ease yourself into the soothing water, and it had only taken one more deep, aching push before it had spurted into the water, swimming about the spacious tub as youâd regained your breath.>
âSpeaking of pushing, letâs get you in position. The usual. Back against the pillows, knees bent, legs falling open, this big belly practically falling between them. God I love you like this.â
<You smile a little wickedly yourself.>
âI love you loving me like this. Itâs just not as good when you make me squat or push on all fours. This is how I like it.â
âEven though itâs like the hardest position to birth in?â
âThatâs part of it. I have to work harder, I canât see what Iâm giving birth to, you get the full viewâawwwwww ooooo mnnnnnghh.â
âYouâre close, my love, just breathe. *Hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo.* Good. Thatâs it. My beautiful, birthing princess.â
âOh! I think I felt a kick just after that contraction. SoâŠit *is* alive?â
âNo hints! Youâll find out soon enough. I know how to tell youâre right on the cusp of fully birthing. And this little one is ready.â
<His hands run over your orb, feeling, exploring, adoring, worshipping.>
âItâs alive. I know it. Ahhhhhhh omg this is getting intense. Butâhooo hoo hoo hoo hoo hooâyou wouldnât be pressing your ear to myâ*fuck*! Oh itâs so closeâyou wouldnât be pressing your ear to my belly unless you were trying to hear aâhee hee hoo hooâheartbeat. Or heartbeats.â
âNot true. I love listening to your offspring no matter what Iâve fathered. And pressing kisses to thisâŠgorgeousâŠfullâŠripe and desperate-to-birthâŠbelly. Hello in there, little one. Your mama and papa canât wait to hold you. I know itâs nice and cozy inside mamaâŠbelieve me, I knowâŠbut itâs time to come out.â
<You revel in each kiss to your taut skin. Your belly always shrinks back to normal, so seeing it stretch until itâs brimming with life is like a new thrill every single time. But itâs not long before his young seems to hear him. And listens.>
âOh god, itâs pressing down. ItâsâŠitâs time. Whatever it is really wants to be born. I have to push!â
âNow now now, not until daddy gets in position. Let me just drag this monster over. Jeez this thing is heavy.â
âDonât talk to me aboutâŠoooooooâŠabout heavyâyou donât know heavy until you feel a bowling ball nose its way into your birth canal and perch just behindâmmmm oh oh oh oh fuckkkkkâyour opening. Oh god, itâs not a bowling ball, is it?!â
<Your face shows true alarm at the prospect. He chuckles as he drags a massive armchair over.>
âItâs not a bowling ball, I promise. But thatâs your only hint. Youâll have to push to know more.â
âIâm ready! I want to push! And it definitely wants me to push!â
âYes, darling, you *want* to push. You can hold back still. Breathe breathe breathe. *Hee hee hoo hoo hee hee hoo hoo.* There, perfect spot to watch you deliver. And comfy.â
<Having dragged the chair front and center for the unfolding drama, he settles back and looks eagerly between your legs. Youâre starting to pant, to run your hands over your firm orb, desperately trying to soothe sensations that can only be tempered by fully birthing what youâve grown inside you.>
âYou always look like a king when you sit in that. A king watching one of his mistresses labor. Suffer.â
<You jest, but you secretly love that this is his favorite place to watch you churn his creations out.>
âNot suffer. A king watching the love of his lifeâŠstruggleâŠStruggle to bring new life into the world for him. And he always knows she can do it. Get ready, sweetheart, your time is close.â
<Your moans intensify. His âthroneâ in place, he gets up to run his hands over your pregnant mound one last time. He smirks as he feels the offspring he put into your writhing belly barely an hour ago. And what is it this time? Same as always, itâs whatever he wanted, whatever he pictured in his mindâs eye as he came powerfully inside you, you begging for it, begging for his progeny, your orgasm heightened by the knowledge that *very* soon, youâd be birthing it (whatever it was) for him. The moment had made you shiver, and as the two of you panted and basked in the afterglow of your lovemaking, both of you watched your belly begin to grow. He gives the bottom of your belly a rub then a kiss, his lips grazing where just below your skin, your birth canal is rapidly filling with his âchild,â and finishes with a light and playful smack. You know itâs the last time heâll touch you for this pregnancy; heâll remain completely hands-off until you deposit the occupant of your womb fully between your legs. This doesnât upset you, you do it this way because you both find it thrilling.>
âHee hee hee hoo hee hee hee hoo. Please, whatever this is is *ready.* I haveâŠI HAVE TO PUSH!â
âThen push, sweetheart. Push my latest little birthling out. Itâs more than ready.â
âHoo hoo hoo hooâunghhhhhhh oh JesusâŠâ
<He chuckles as you strain>
âHow does it feel to push?â
âUnbelievably painfulâŠand good. I canât keep going, though.â
âYes you can. Donât stop, honey, push. Your gorgeous pussy is already bulging, youâve got this.â
âOhhhhh!â <Your back arches, your legs spreading automatically. For what feels like hours to you, but in reality is no more than a few minutes, you bear down repeatedly, urging this little one forward. Tiny beads of sweat are starting to prickle on your forehead. Youâre working so hard but the thing stays stubbornly stuck just inside you.>
âSuddenly shy, isnât it? Itâs ok, just keep pushing, it will come. It wants to come. I donât blame it for wanting to stay inside mommy forever, though. Bigggg push, now. Good girl. Thatâs it, your lips are starting to part. I can see it! I can see the head!â
âThe head? So it isâhoo hoo hoo unghhhhhhhhâit is somethingâŠsomething alive then?â
âNot necessarily. I see âthe headâ so to speak. Come on, baby, push. Thatâs it. No, keep those thighs nice and wide, you need all the room you can to birth this. Push!â
âI hate you!â <You scream it as you struggle your infant-whatever forward. But far from being offended you can practically sense him growing hard at your outburst.>
âMnnnnn, I love this. You know nothing turns me on more than a 90s sitcom-like birth.â
<You know. Youâre in so much pain that you actually get angry at the shiver of pleasure that runs up your spine at his words. Your mind reels between your own arousal but is giving more and more attention to your birthing process.>
âItâs just so hot. In fact I was thinking perhaps soon letâs do it again but weâll get you a hospital gown and a blanket to drape over your knees. I love watching you birth naked like this but thereâs something about that FCC-approved delivery I find *very* appealing. Medical scrubs for me and a stethoscope, Iâll be the handsome doctor. How do you feel about stirrups?â
âANGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK OH MY GOD!â
<Chuckles> âI suppose youâre not feeling anything but my latest offspring trying to rocket it out of you.â
âItâs comingâitâs really coming now. Iâhee hee hoo hooâwant it OUT!â
âWell youâre one your way, love, keep going. Thatâs it. Oooo youâre really parting now. Come on, show me this âbaby,â show me what youâve made me. Good girl, itâs bulging out. Keep pushing, youâll be crowning before you know it!â
<You make an inhuman noise. As you urge more of the âheadâ out, you feel something sharp scrape the inside of your swollen, parting, vagina. ItâsâŠangular. Unforgiving. You put your hands to your knees and bear down steadily, raging against the intense desire to stop. But youâd lose precious progress.>
âUnghhhhhhh. I feelâI feel milk beading on my nipples. So it has to be alive if I need toâmnnnn oh godâfeed it. But, *hoo hoo hoo hoo* live birthings startâŠstart toâŠsquish down to help it come out. ThisâŠoh god, *WHAT* did you knock me up with? What did youââ
âBreathe, baby, breathe.â
ââgrow in my bellyyyyyyyyyy??!!â
âBreathe, honey, more is coming. Hee hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo hoo. Birth it out so you can see.â
âOhhhhh itâs huge. Oh how I hate you. Donât you dare smirk at me, not when Iâm pushing your kid out. Christ, get this thing out of me!â
âBaby dolphin? Mnnnnghhhhh.â
âYouâll see, just birth. Birth now.â
âIt feelsâŠAHHHHHHâŠit feels like the RC toy car.â
âHa! Yes, the day I had that sudden urge to nurture my inner childâŠthough less literally than you usually doâŠand wanted to play with one. Thank you for that one, baby. I should get it out of the attic and play with it again. It looked so beautiful coming out of you. â
âJust like this latest one does. Come on. Birth. Birth for me, honey. Push.â
âYes, yes, my love, youâre crowning so beautifully. Donât forget to rest and breatheâ*hee hee hoo hoo hee hee hoo hoo.* My god, your body is amazing. Come on. Thatâs a good little mama. Push. PUSH! PUSHHHH!â
<Your toes curl into the mattress, your hands into the soft firmness underneath them. Every inch of whatever youâre birthing needs to be pushed out. It doesnât have the slickness of the baby dolphin, whose snout had slowly but gracefully emerged from your folds and given you time to adjust to delivering the head and body. It doesnât writhe and squirm and angle itâs way out like that deep sea creature whose name the two of you could barely pronounce, the one that the two of you doorbell ditched outside the aquarium in the biggest fish tank you could find right before Petsmart closed; after that youâd made him promise to take a break from impregnating you with anything heâd newly learned about on the Discovery Channel, just for a while.>
âWhy isnât it coming out? It wonât come out.â
âIt is, sweetie, itâs coming out, I promise. You canât feel it but itâs *definitely* coming out. Just push. Pushhhhhhhh.â
<You bear down and wait for the relief of the âheadâ to blossom from your gaping pussy, but no such luck. Whatever this is is massive and block-like, no relief like normal women get when the head pops out and though thereâs still work to be done, the most excruciating part is over. Usually you do get *something* like that, like when youâd birthed the living room lamp and the massive bulb had finally burst of you, the rest of its base easy to deliver by comparison.>
âBaby, PUSH! Have my baby, yes!â
<Youâd never had an actual baby. The closest youâd come was one holiday season when for several minutes you were sure it was a human baby, but when it finally landed with a plop between your legs, you saw was a baby doll, a toy meant to brighten the season for a living child. In the end you had birthed nearly thirty of them, your heart swelling when you realized that heâd been careful to think diversely as heâd come inside you, ensuring that dolls of all sizes and colors and physicalities came out of you so that every child could find the perfect doll for them. After all the birthing youâd been so tired that you two had decided to order doll accessories online instead of birthing those too, and then you two had had fun cleaning them up and wrapping them.>
âItâs coming, my love. Oh ohhh itâs coming, keep pushing. Itâs almost here.â
<You have no spare energy to do anything but squeak out a sort of grunt as you bear down. You know youâre close, experience told you so. Just one more big push before it comes out. Your vision swims and a cry you barely recognize as your own issues from your throat. Just a little moreâŠIt lands with a dull but wet thud between your parted legs. Youâve done it, youâve birthed your latest offspring. You lay panting as he gushes, happy and amazed tears in his eyes, as always, thanking you again and again. He takes over from here, kneeling between your thighs as he tells you how well you did, reaching for the stack of towels and supplies the two of you keep in your birth kit. You notice he leaves the clamps and scissors inside their caseâno cord, then. No cries or squeals or the sounds of movement or thrashing limbs. Something inanimate this time. Whatever it is, he gathers it in his arms and brings it up to you. It doesnât matter if itâs a living thing or not, you guys always fawn over it like a long-awaited child. You made it together and brought it into the world, after all. Your eyes flutter open and you gaze upon a thick tome. Leather bound, gilded edges, elegant spine. One of last yearâs bestsellers, an award winner that garnered a ton of attention. You canât help but smile as you reach for it.>
âI thought you read this one already.â
âI did, but you know how much I like the spin you put on them. Plus I made this one a special edition.â
<You sigh happily in the quiet. You cradle the newly-born book, him cradling you. After a long time you feel his breath at your ear.>
âSometimes I wonder if we should have a real baby.â
<You crane your neck and press a kiss to his jaw, your response sure and certain.>
âNo. If we had an actual child, we wouldnât have time for this.â
<You frown as you feel a painful cramp, confused as youâd already delivered the afterbirth just moments after the book came out. Your womb tightens further as a weight settles low in your pelvis. You look at him in confusion. His eyes shine and he grins as you instinctively begin to push.>
âDidnât you know? Theyâre making this one into a movie.â