AN  EXHALE  (  that  may  or  may  not  have  been  too  deep,  as  if  she  was  being  let  off  of  the  hook  )  was  released  from  her  nose,  her thick eyebrows  twitching together one  single  time  before  they  relaxed  &&  her  lips  assumed  the  same, relieved relaxation.  mrs. kawajiri was  determined  to  find  the  location  of  kosaku,  &&  she  was  fit  on  going  to  every  person  who  would  grace  her  with  their  time  to  do  what she did to yukako.
YUKAKO  KNEW  NOT  THAT  SHE  was  holding  in  her  breath again (  as  if the  quietest  peep  would  bring the young adultâs hopes up once more, and she would be interrogated on a dead manâs  whereabouts again ââ  why  was  she  the  one  who  was  so  tightlipped?!  ), as when mrs. kawajiri lowered the photo away from her visage, let go of yet another deep breath.
THE  THIRD  TIME  OF  HER  holding  in  air  didnât  come.  too  speechless  by  the  sound  of  her  crying,  too  speechless  by  the  truth  she  couldnât  /  wouldnât  tell.  yukako,  now  keeping  her  inhales  &&  exhales  at  normal  levels,  looked down  upon  mrs.  kawajiri  with  sympathy.
MRS. KAWAJIRI TOLD HER THE TALE OF KOSAKU KAWAJIRI.  their  marriage  was  going  nowhere,  it  seemed. && then, mrs. kawajiri told her the tale of yoshikage kira, who  did  what any  loving  /  gentle  husband  was  supposed  to  do  for  his  wife:  things  that  were  unheard  of  in  the  kawajiri  household. as mrs. kawajiri was near the end of her stories, yukako finally got the picture.
â YOU THINK HE LEFT YOU? â  that  was  far  from  the  truth.  despite  the  love  in  their  marriage  being utterly gone,  kosaku  wouldnât  have  left  her⊠ or  left  her  with  their  marriage.  it  wasnât  reasonable ( right?! ):  especially  after  eleven  years  of  them  being  togetherâŠÂ right?!
SHE  WAS  TIRED.  tired,  sullen  &&  heartbroken.  instinctively  did  yukako  take  a  step  forward  &&  hover  her  hand  over  her  back,  too  unsure  if  mrs.  kawajiri  would  want  to  be  touched  or  not.  â âŠyouâre tired. â she announced.  â you need to hurry home or else youâll pass out here. â
with little sleep & care of keeping herself managed --- her thoughts only occupied with her husband, finding him & scolding him for leaving. hoping it was just an unexpected business trip no one had discussed with her...shinobu spent every waking moment trying to find him, her eyes almost in a constant state of red from crying.
to say she was tired...was an understatement.Â
even closing her eyes & leaning against the pole, her knees weakening slightly as she clung to it, which this cold, wooden pole with her husbands face stapled to it, was the real thing. she was sure this schoolgirl would look at her with pity.
within the past week she had maybe slept an hour each night & this sudden confession of her tragedy simply took so much out of her. pathetic & lonely girl, so fearful of returning to that empty place she would break down to anyone.
â heâs not home...â she breathlessly spoke, energy quickly leaving her with every passing moment. with every painful word. â it isnât hard to imagine that after eleven years of being with such a sad woman he would leave...& he never had much of a relationship with hayato...â
mentioning her son only left her with a wave of nausea.Â
shinobu kawajiri, a single mother with no job, sustaining her & her son with the little savings they had. desperate for a job but too preoccupied with searching for her husband to do so...her priorities were mixed.
& soon she was on the concrete, loosely clinging to the pole pathetically.
â iâm sorry...â she whispered, but in a loop, her lips motioning the two words as exhaustion was catching up with her, shinobuâs eyes closing as just as the girl predicted, the auburn haired woman passed out, clutching flyers under her arm & holding to the pole.
