Uteruses & Duderuses @untimely-classic - Tumblr Blog

tittytron

I’ve found it

Me: *sees a couple*

Me: so which one of you is airplane dog and which one of you is wisdom dog

babyanimalgifs

animal-factbook

Chickens imprint themselves onto the first object that they see when they are born. Here shows a group of chickas declaring a warm cup of coffee as their mum

ifuglywerebeautiful

Having owned chickies…no. Ya confusing chicks with ducklings. They are probably just cold. Chicks need to be under heat lamps when they are young. Lil babes.

setheverman

american things that are surely fictional:

donald trump

blue raspberry

wearing shoes indoors

texas?????

songllama

Actually, I can vouch for Texas, my brother lives there.

setheverman

your brother

jaoxn-deactivated20141121

when the teacher asks if you did your homework

jamiatt-deactivated20201227

oh my god

overnightmask

delete the rest of the internet and leave only this video

hai-tea

sourcefieldmix-deactivated20160

i’m gonna touch the japanese dog

onlytwitterpics

parakavka

whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv

Filling out course evaluations for classes you did shitty in

firedrill

Follow Yik-Yaks for more.

lesbianeurydices

Things overheard in my ap classes:

“Dude. I’m going to get so hammered this weekend.”

“I have to read crime and punishment by Monday- I’ll just do it all Sunday night"

“If you could get full ride to any college by killing a man, would you do it?” “In a second.”

[A guy showing a girl how to put notes into a calculator in order to cheat on the AP calc BC test] “My morals have crashed like the Russian economy after the collapse of the USSR.”

“What class is this?” “AP FIGHT CLUB”

“What if we all just didn’t show up for graduation?”

“It is my unalienable right to not be here right now. I’m entitled to the pursuit of happiness and this isn’t it.”

“I’ll pay you $15 to do my physics homework.” “Shit, I’ll do it for free if you do my lit homework.”

[1st hour AP Human Geo: A girl pours a bottle of mountain dew and a can of monster into a thermos, shakes it up, and drinks it in one go.] “I have tests in every hour today and I got 15 minutes of sleep. Desperate times, ya know?”

“But if you’re valedictorian, and she’s salutoriain, and the six of us are top 2%, then who’s driving the bus?”

“so. did anyone do the calc homework?” *chorus of no’s* “you know, i don’t know why I even asked.”

“maybe if we all pretend we don’t know what we’re doing, he’ll move the calculus test.” “Honey, I don’t even need to pretend.”

jimmybuffetsmargaritaville

for those of you wondering if i caught the paras, i totally did and he is now a Big Boy

artofthecatt

oh snap

moaccyrk

REBLOG.

FOREVER.

thepanthercave

This is an actual Therapist Recommended method for dealing with a runaway “inner critic” and this comic is perfect ❤️

viictornikiforov

start holding your boyfriends to best friend standards pls

“my boyfriend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days” vs “my best friend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days”

“my boyfriend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again” vs “my best friend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again”

“my boyfriend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop” vs “my best friend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop”

if your boyfriend would leave you for something that your best friend wouldn’t care about, KILL THEM AND EAT THEM

artnmxlanin-deactivated20171009

Lmfao

uglyfoxybaby

true tho because people forget having a partner is literally just having another best friend with a slightly different intimacy thrown in, not all the rules should change and you should feel 100% as comfortable with your partner as you do with a friend. it took me a long time to realize that.