Mind Antinomy

I don't think anyone will get to read this but in case you are reading ... this is a blog (obviously) established in order to register the random and paradoxical thoughts running in and out of a self-aware mind ... so yeah ... One big fuckery.

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Let me talk about her ...

I dont know where to start from ... sweetest , beautiful , innocent , kind , strong , sacrificing , loving , caring and yet it goes ... those are a few words to describe her 

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Love is dangerous, is the world’s strongest drug, me and her overdozed from it.I know exactly how she’s feeling cause I’m feeling it too, a pain no medicine can cure or lighten. I admit that my irresponsible acts drove us this, I dont seem to think straight and make sain decision, now I’m paying for my foolishness .

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In three words.

Love, regret and tears.

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I loved you with all my heart. Goodbye othman

28/10/2018 at 12:02 AM ... 

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Thankful for our Moroccan vintage music. Wonderful.

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The harder life gets the funnier it becomes.

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باختصاااااار شديد كيما قالت نعيمة سميح : "الغرام جاني برعادو بشتاه"

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Eh life ... Life is what you make ... Make your own life ... How about you stop with that nonsense, life is so uncertain.Unpredictable. Anyway that’s not the point of it, I’m here to talk about my life; especially the love side (aka the middle east of my life) of it. Mine if described in one word : UNFORTUNATE. yet so funny but mostly unlucky.. speaking of luck “le suerte” I never got that concept to be honest (I will get the hard way later on LOL) I always thought .. euh not thought I absolutely believed that luck is what we make “Make your own goddamn luck” I didn't believe in such thing as luck. Anyway sorry I often get lost in philosophical subjects. Back to my the middle east ... yeah You might think why this analogy ? oh boy I will explain : my love life is a middle east cause its really unstable to stay in because all them conflicts and shit but it’s really rich and generous but mostly cause it’s underpopulated LOL. So as you know I never knew what love is, like really, starting high school years, it’s the mating season for teenagers but I was always the “ugly friendly” guy (yeah I know I’m not the best looking guy) Also university years I had practically no friends (male or female) and as you may suggest I’m not a typical guy I don’t just randomly approach girls (confidence overload) yeah I’m like that I can’t just walk to some stranger saying can I have your number, I never did that I never will. I always blame it on myself I’m the one who taking full responsibility but I never bitch about it. So here comes life changing events ... 

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she: why did u gave up on me?

me: like that I couldnt do anything about it

she: okey..

me:"to myself quietly" i never gave on you

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Here ... Let’s start some writing/therapy session shall we ?

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You have snatched every traces of me with one glance of your enchanting eyes

Some random really awesome Pakistani poet

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Tonight’s movie : Toiletpaper crisis.

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fuck a flu is giving me a hard time breathing jeez

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I'd rather love someone I can't have than have someone I can't love

Me

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Well hey there (still no name goddamn it), I guess I’m just talking to myself.. anyway.. It’s been a while again; I made you a promise to be here more often but too bad I fucked up that promise like everything else in my life.. I feel sorry for you and myself even more that I only come here when I have no resort; nowhere and no one. I’m that bad friend who only come to you when they need you, but maybe you’re fine with it.. I guess. I’m only here when I’m all shattered up. I know what you think. I’m gonna tell you every fucking thing in detail. 

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Well here I am dear ... And this time I guess I’m here for good ... Unfortunately.

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Here I am once again ...