18+ mdni, mommy kink, praise kink, bathroom sex, accidental voyeurism, plot? what plot? (pwp), no y/n, pet names, older woman younger girl, light dom/sub, fingering
a/n sorry in advance, i needed to get this off of my mind (part 2 now up!)
you blamed melissa and her old italian doors that didnât close properly. or you blamed just melissa, for the way things turned out tonight.
the night had started out swell. a small gathering at melissaâs place, you arriving significantly later than the others to not risk being alone with the redhead. ava constantly eyeing you to make a move on mel. janine and gregory shamelessly flirting. jacobâs clumsiness. mr. johnson telling barbara stories that you tried so hard to concentrate on but nothing worked. she was there, with all her glory, swaying around in the comfort of her home and more radiant than ever.
how was it possible? the effect she had on you, her casual remarks that you were sure pre-calculated to drive you insane. ava kept pushing, putting ideas in your head that swam in dangerous waters. ideas about how melissa was down, just like you. ideas that led you to say careless things.
and melissa was not keeping her distance, sitting especially closer to you on her huge couch, letting your thighs touch occasionally. the bumping of a knee, her scent blinding you and she would smirk over, as if you could take your eyes off of her. and the shirt she was wearing⌠ugh. you wondered about her bra underneath. was it laced? something deep in color, that would pop against her glowy skin. something that barely covered anything and maybe if she moved around too much a nipple would tug out of the fabric and- no. bad though. bad thought.
but it wasnât like melissaâs presence was helping. the way she kept whispering into your ear all the while barb talked about her night out with gerald. and melissa would lean over, âwhat do you think honâ? you figure gerald treats her right in the bedroom?â your face had heated up instantly, knocking the air out of your lungs. then as if it wasnât enough she had placed a hand on your thigh, squeezing gently. you struggled to breath, trying hard to look at barbara. but the words had spilled out of your mouth in an instant.
âyou have nice fingers.â you told her and only her, voice so low against her ear. was she blushing? or was it just the light hitting her features? âthanks hon,â she said confidently but then murmured quietly,
âiâd like âem better in you.â
âwhat?â
âwhat?â
melissa pretended like she didnât say a thing. but you heard her, you did. so now you were excusing yourself off to the bathroom. melissa gave you a wink as you lifted off the couch and scurried upstairs, to the bathroom.
ŕż ŕż*:シďž
you hurriedly pushed the door behind yourself, failing to notice the slight gap left ajar. your hands found the edge of the sink, looking up to see your face in the mirror. you looked truly disheveled, your hair a mess. your were gripping the ceramic so hard that your knuckles hurt. you huffed out a breath and pushed away, letting your back rest against the wall. blissfully unaware of the slight gap between the door. you needed her, desperately, more than the blood in your veins, the air in your lungs. and no matter how hard you tried, nothing worked.
you came here to collect yourself, not to think about melissaâs beautiful tits any further. you whined out loud, hitting your head at the wall repeatedly. you rubbed your thighs together with a whimper and felt yourself get wetter by the second. if only she were here right now, the things you would let her do to you. you trailed a single hand down your top, grazing your nipples through your shirt and unbuttoning your pants. just a little bit, you thought. it wouldnât hurt.
your fingers found your clit, slipping under your panties and you let out a moan. fuck. you rubbed the bud a little harder. gathering your wetness and pressing as your mind wandered to her. her hair pulled up in a ponytail, bangs framing her face. her neck, the skin you would beg to touch. then to her cleavage, her perfect breasts swaying. âunghh- mel⌠need you-â you realized the words leaving your mouth a little too late. your eyes were still closed and you slipped two fingers in your soaking cunt, spreading your legs from where you stood.
melissa had looked so beautiful tonight and now you were in her bathroom rubbing your clit. her fingers had gripped your thigh and now you had two of your own in your mouth to shush out the whimpers and the dirty words. âiâd like them better in you.â she had said and now your head was tilting back, eyes shut as you swallowed your moans in the narrow space. you kept pumping in your wetness, trying to grind on your clit but it wasnât working. you were so riled up but nothing was helping. you groaned out loudly and slipped your fingers out with visible annoyance. but then your eyes trailed open and you caught sight of the slightly open door. and behind it stood in the darkness⌠melissa. with a huge smirk on her lips.
shit. shit. shit.
you scrambled to close the door fully, leaning against it and embarrassed was not a word strong enough to describe how you felt. how long was she standing there? did she see you-? did she hear? did- ugh. it was of no use to stand here, propped up by the door inside melissa schemmentiâs bathroom with your fingers still wet and the ghost of her name still hanging off of your lips. so you straightened up, buttoned your pants and opened the door. you had thought sheâd be gone by now.
but no, melissa was still standing there, with the same grin. but now there was a change to the way she held herself, the way her eyes glinted with lust. like she could eat you alive and was barely restraining herself. you tried to open your mouth for her to move over but she pushed you back in the small room. she locked the door with a hurry and pressed your back to the same wall you were just against.
she doesnât kiss you, lets her breath blow on your lips. you want to close the distance this very second. but you feel her body, pressing against you with insistence, her hands donât touch you just yet. she lets them hang by her sides as she corners you against the wall. you canât stand it, your heart straining in your chest and her cleavage is on full display right before your eyes. you need to touch her.
âhow long have you been standing there?â you ask, a dare in your words. âhmmm⌠let me think.â she speaks and her voice is so rough, so raspy your knees buckle. so she pushes a single leg between your thighs and lets you grind on it. you try not to moan but she hasnât even touched you yet. she continues her sentence, âsomewhere between âmel- need you mommyâ⌠and now.â shit. did you let that slip? now she knows how fucked up of a mind you have. you think she will leave, keep you all hot and horny in the confinement of her bathroom. youâre wrong, terribly.
instead she invades your space further and kisses you. itâs rough, urgent, filled with want, need. she lets her lipstick smear all over your mouth. you grab her by the waist, by her thighs, any place your hands reach. itâs desperate in all the ways you need her. she pushes her thigh between your legs even further and you hump on it, hanging onto any friction she gives and you moan, deeply into her mouth. she hums in return, your voices swallowing each other, tongues tangling and her spit mixes with yours. you need her shirt off. right now. but you donât know how she would feel. if she would want to keep going.
your hands play with the hem of her shirt, a burgundy one thatâs too well fitting. she chuckles in that breathy voice again and you would let her do anything, anything she wants. and when she speaks, youâre sure she is going to be your end. âare you sure about this sweetheart?â she asks and you will get on your knees and beg if it comes to that. you nod, biting your lip. âdarling iâm old enough to be your mother.â you moan at that. âit doesnât matter mel. i want you i need-â youâre so needy as you pull down the hem of her shirt once again. âaww pretty girl, you want to see my tits?â she smirks, giving in a little. you nod frantically and when she tugs it off you canât help the drool slipping out of the side of your mouth. she has a lace edged black bra that covers her breasts, barely. itâs like all of your late night fantasies coming true. except sheâs way more beautiful in real life.
you hear melissa chuckle. she holds your chin up with one hand and your mouth parts. she licks her lips and leans in further. âbaby we need to stop this while i can still control myself.â her voice so raspy, laced with her control that is slipping away and you can see it in the way she holds herself. her exposed chest and neck rising up and down with every breath and you just want to suck one of her nipples into your mouth. you need her to keep going. âplease, please mel i need you- i need you so bad-â and she grins further, squeezing your jaw harder and you struggle to breath. âyouâre so cute when you beg pretty girl.â she unbuttons your jeans with one hand, keeping the other against your throat now.
âiâm gonna help you with that little problem of yours now sweetheart.â she gestures towards your crotch and if only she knew how wet you are. âthen youâre gonna make mommy come. how does that sound sweetie, hmm?â she keeps squeezing your throat and you moan out, looking at her forest green eyes. you nod but thatâs not enough. âwords baby. i need to hear you.â
âyes- yes please touch me-â you gasp and your hands are digging at the side of her hips now. she tsks quietly as she unbuttons your jeans fully. âsuch a needy girl. now take them off.â she says, tugging at your pants. you comply quickly, sliding the material down your legs and shove it on the floor. you look up at her now, eyes begging. she brings her hand forward and cups your sex through the fabric of your panties. her eyes widen when she realizes how wet you are, basically dripping and moaning and she hasnât made any real contact. âfuck- youâre so wet honâ. that all for me?â you whimper and nod frantically, âyes, yes all for you mommy.â
she chuckles wickedly and pulls your panties to the side. you donât know where to put your hands and melissa closes the distance between your lips once again. she licks your bottom lip as her fingers rub on your clit. her other hand pulling the hair at the base of your neck. it strains lightly and you moan into her mouth. the feeling of her fingers now teasing your entrance, her lips ghosting over your face, her breath against your cheek. itâs all too much.
you spread your legs wider and plead, âplease- mel-â your voice so desperate. she silences you with a kiss, granting her tongue access into your mouth and she slips a finger in, finally. âspread them wider baby.â she whispers into your mouth, you can die this very second. you let one of your legs wrap around her body, holding it up and melissa smiles into the kiss. she adds in a second finger and they curl, hitting just the spot and you canât help the loud moan escaping your lips. âsshhh you gotta be quiet for me now sweetie. it might be my house but we canât afford a scandal now can we?â she teases you, even now when sheâs burried deep inside and you laugh, a half-moan. âyou know ava will never stop talking about it right?â and she doesnât even slow down her motions, pumping in and out of your pussy while you whimpered for her in her small bathroom, pressed against the wall.
melissaâs fingers works in you and you just canât keep your hands off of her anymore. both of them trailing up melâs sides and up at her chest to grab at her breasts. melissa chuckles, âitâs okay honâ, you can touch them.â you groan and it turns into a whimper when the palm of melissaâs hand finds your clit. you try to ride her fingers put sheâs got you pinned. so you keep your mind on her breasts instead. and theyâre so close to your face, you free a nipple from the fabric, watching it harden with the cool air. you lower your head and suck it into your mouth, melissaâs fingers halt for a single second, you can feel her jaw open, resting on the top of your head. and youâre so close to her you can practically hear her heart beat.
you bite down on her nipple now and she moans, curling her fingers deeper in you. youâre getting closer, the tight nerves coiling in your belly and you can feel it. you leave bite marks all over her chest now, grasping, kneading the soft skin and you can feel her breath in your veins. melissaâs palm keeps pressing against your pounding clit and one, two, three more strokes in your wetness and youâre coming. pure pleasure taking over as you moan against melissaâs cleavage. she slows down her fingers, gently extracting them and when her palm nudges your clit you buck, still sensitive from your lingering orgasm.
you keep your spot on her chest and lay a cheek on top of one of her tits, looking up to meet her green eyes, glinting. melissaâs fingers tangle in your hair and she smiles at your dumb expression. your lips and chin covered with her dark red lipstick, red marks blooming against her own chest and she trails her thumb against your bottom lip. âhow do you like my fingers now baby?â she asks you, voice sultry and you have to bite your lips. âmuch better.â you say and she pushes her wet fingers through your lips. you look up at her with innocent eyes, as if youâre not naked from the bottom half. and you suck on her fingers, cleaning them up, hollowing out your cheeks.
her eyes widen and you can see the want in her eyes. the need to have you, claim you further. âknees. now.â she orders and you immediately lower yourself onto the floor. the cold concrete hits your knees but it doesnât matter. what matters is that melissa is calling you a good girl now and you canât even help yourself when you thighs squeeze. âalready so needy for me huh?â she asks, noticing your motion. she eyes towards her own pants, silently urging you to take them off. you make quick work, taking them off alongside her panties. and she just stands there, with all her glory, eyes looking down at you and you can feel your throat go dry at the sight of her. her wetness shining through her dark curls at the apex of her thighs, the stretch marks covering the side of her thighs and you hold onto them. your fingers itching onto her and she grabs you by the hair. âmake me feel good and then we will think about it baby.â she says all the while guiding your face towards her dripping pussy.
and you feast. your lips make instant contact with her perked up clit and melissa spreads her legs further. you grab onto her thighs with force as your tongue spreads her folds, ravishing her taste and melissa raises one of her legs to rest it on your shoulder. the motion cages your head between her and the wall and itâs everything. you can suffocate in between her thighs and still be thankful. melissa canât stop moaning as you suck onto her folds and your tongue teases her entrance. âoh, good girl.â she whimpers, holding onto your head, âkeep going baby. just like that- fuck-â she starts grinding on your face and you let her use your tongue however way she likes. sheâs getting closer by the second, you know it and you let your nose brush her clit now. she curses loudly at that, something in italian.
you switch between licks of your tongue through her entrance to sucking on her clit, testing the water. you want to put your fingers in her but if you take your hands away from her thick thighs there is a high chance mel would fall. so you keep going, stroking your fingers up and down her legs best as you can, hoping youâre making her feel good, fervently sucking at her clit and the quenching noises that come out are loud. on top of you you can see melissaâs other hand that is not holding your head play with her own nipples. you moan at the sight and the vibrations trail up her spine. she whimpers, âoh honâ- mhhm- donât stop please-â and you canât even think about it.
it takes a few more laps of your tongue against her wet pussy until she comes with a muffled out scream of your name. you ride her through it, licking lightly against her, engraving her sweet taste in your mind. then she pushes your head away lightly and you help her put her leg back down. âfuck-â she huffs, âi havenât done anything this crazy in years tesoro- come up here.â and she pulls you up to her, leaning into your body once again. you kiss her hard, letting her taste herself on your mouth and she hums.
âbeen such a good girl for me, huh honâ?â she teases you. you smile at her cutely, whatever you say beautiful. youâre worried about this being a one time thing until melissa grabs you by the waist, pecking your lips one last time and saying, ânow get dressed baby girl, we have people waiting downstairs to be sent out the houseâŚâ she gives you a wicked grin, âbecause iâm not letting you leave my bed tonight- or walk in the morning.â
you can feel your lungs squeeze with excitement with the implications her words hold.
ŕż ŕż*:シďž
the two of you walk downstairs with melâs hand wrapped around your waist. the first thing you hear is ava whopping in excitement. âdamn girl i knew you were down bad but this is bad.â she says once youâre by her side, wiping at the still visible lipstick stains next to your lips and jaw. melissa made sure there was still some left there, just for good measure. and just cause she liked the way it sat against your skin.
you look over to her now, sitting next to barbara who looked very much pleased about the situation too. melissa gives you a devilish smirk that reminds you too much of the one she just gave behind closed doors and you know that youâre in for a long night.
ŕż ŕż*:シďž
i kept accidentally changing tenses but this isnât grammar class soo⌠you could say i kept it postmodern
.gang its lowkey 4 hours past my bedtime when finishing writing this but I reached ABSOLUTE flow state which is so rare.
based on this ask!
đŁthinking of hyperfeminine!reader whos been trying to get Melissa's attention for months. always dressing up in the clothes you know Mel likes best (especially that sundress that clings just right in all the perfect places) but you just can't get Melissa to crack, you've even gone so far as to highlight just how skilled you are in all departments, chewing on the end of your pen whilst staring into 'space' (mel's general vacinity) and playing those dumb piano games on your phone do demonstrate that despite the long false nails on your hands, your nimble fingers still work perfectly fine. But nothing seemed to work on her.
So one day you decide to try and take a new angle.. the jealousy angle. In the break room after the summer break you start up a loud conversation with janine about your holiday abroad in the sunshine, how you laid on the beach for hours as men paid for all your drinks you barely had to lift a finger. Then you embellish a little.. telling janine about how some guy gave you the 'night of your life' whilst looking over her shoulder to Melissa in the corner who just continues with what she was doing, the slight arch in her eyebrow the only indication that she'd heard what you'd said.
And thats when you decide that she isn't oblivious, she's just intentionally dense. So that night when you see her at the bar by your apartment on social media, you start the posting game. It started off small, a picture on your Instagram story of you in a pink babydoll shirt with a white skirt, giant sunglasses and a floppy hat on holiday, your perfect maicure on pull display in the mirror. And yet when you see she's seen it there wasn't even so much as a like on it. So, naturally, you up the stakes. A white and pink polkadot shirt, a brown and white houndstooth skirt and knee hugh sheer socks with delicate ribbons laced around them to match the one in your hair. But once again, nothing.
For your final act you upload a picture of you in your bikini, delicate and white with pink lace around the edges and embroidered with tiny little roses that match the pink on the bracelets on your wrists and the sunset behind you. Everything about that picture is perfect, there's a bright smile on your face but a certain flirty twinkle behind your eyes, your hair in two even braids on your head, sunglasses atop of it too. If that wasn't the one to get her she was definitely straight. or blind.
When you check the views you see that once again shes seen it with no other reaction to it. so you begrudgingly decide to call it a night. You pull on your white silk slip and put your slippers on ready for your night time routine when you hear a knock on the door. Pulling a robe over yourself you answer it, and there stands Melissa in all her glory. A black leather jacket and dark jeans paired with a red top that just contrasts you so perfectly, her combat boots clunk against the hardwood floor as she invites herself in, "What the fuck are you playing at?" She half growls, the smell of cigarettes and her perfume mingling in the air around you, something that is just intoxicatingly her.
"I don't know what you mean." You feign ignorance moving to the side to let the redhead through. "So you're just whoring yourself out on the Internet for fun now?" She snaps back, chest heaving with some sort of not entirely misplaced rage. "Its a private account" you reply with as much nonchalance as you can muster in the moment.
"I think it's time you learned who owns you" she snarls, grabbing your throat and pushing you back until your shoulderblades hit the cold wall. "You don't own me. You don't even acknowledge me!" You retort knowing your defences were falling fast with her so close. "Oh Bambina I just don't trust myself to keep my hands off you once I openly notice you"
That sentence makes your heart melt and pool between your thighs, a small weak sound escapes your throat as her lips capture yours in a soft and yet entirely possessive dance, your knees nearly buckle beneath you as her tongue swipes over your bottom lip as if requesting entrance and you, of course, let her right in.
By the time she pulls away your cheeks are brighter than the blush you usually decorate them with and your lips are rosy and swollen, her hand stays wrapped around your throat, not restricting air, just a reminder of her ever-present control over the situation. Her knee presses between your thighs as you pant for breath, the contact making your gasp, hips involuntarily bucking against it, in turn making a soft whine fall from your lips as she smirks. "So eager Bambina.. such a desperate little girl for me" her mouth finds yours neck, sucking and biting like she's some sort of long lost van helsing decendant.
Her slender fingers travel up your thighs, slipping just under the airy silk of your night dress before pulling back "Can I..?" you just nod but she's then tuts at you like you're some third grader she's about to scold "use your words Principessa" she says gently, her eyes fixed on your face, tracing for any and every microexpression. "Please Melissa.. I need you" you beg breathlessly, grinding your cunt down against her thigh and letting her feel just how soaked your delicate panties are for her.
Melissa tsks as the pulls her thigh away from between yours "Did I say you could ride me like a pathetic whore?" She asks, voice low in your ear. You shake your head "No.."
"Thats what I thought." She continues her hand now pushing your nightdress up until it bunches around your waist showing off your lacy pink underwear and the ever growing increasingly prominent wet patch on them. "So wet for me tesoro" she breathes, pushing them to the side and running a single finger through your drenched slit with embarrassing ease. "Its all for you Mel" you reply, voice shaking with pent up need.
your back arches against the cold wall as she pushes two fingers into your aching pussy, your head falls back, mouth hanging open in a silent 'o' as she starts to move, curling them just the right amount to hit that sweet spot inside you every single time. Her thumb eventually finds your clit forcing a string of cuss words and straight up begging from your throat as your hand tangles in her hair.
"Such a good girl for me bambina" she praises as she feels you clench around her, getting closer, "plese mel.. please gotta cum- im gonna-" and then, just before the fireworks in your stomach can explode, she stops dead. Withdrawing her fingers from you with a smirk and cutting off your whine by pushing her fingers into your mouth "suck" she commands, manoeuvring the both of you until your ass hits the dining room table across the room from where you were. She pulls her fingers from your mouth with a wet pop, then grabs the backs of your thighs, lifting you up onto it and laying you down, your legs handing off the edge.
"You deserved that princess. Brats don't just get rewarded" she tells you, her voice calm and collected as she sinks to her knees infront of you. Her arms hook under your thighs pulling you closer and putting your legs over her shoulders. An almost phonographic cry leaves your mouth as hers finds your already very sensitive clit, sucking it into her mouth like its her last meal, her fingers still slick with your spit once again find your tight hole and begin thrusting rapidly in and out, only stopping to add a third finger, stretching you out with a scream.
Only babble is coming from your lips at this point, Melissa's name the only thing coming through clearly between the begging and pleading. She continues to eat you out like a woman starved, her nails leaving little crescent moons in your thighs. Your thighs try to close around her head but she somehow manages to keep them open as she drags more moans from you, before finally you cum on her tongue with a scream that leaves your head spinning and thighs trembling.
"Fuck bambina you taste so good" she murmers, getting up from her spot on the kitchen floor and wipes her mouth on her bicep. "You did so good for me tesoro, such a good girl" she smiles, you just stay where you are gasping for air against the solid oak of the table.
She smiles at the sight of you completely fucked out across the table and gently straightens out your slip "lets get you cleaned up"
áśť đ đ° full fic to . . . having a homoerotic friendship with Jinx
pairing: Jinx x fem!reader, modern au.
# cw. homoerotic friends to ???, soft dom!Jinx x power bottom!reader, bratty!Jinx x softer!reader, codependency, intoxication, double-ended dildo, mutual masturbation, size kink/size queen!Jinx, corruption kink, light degradation + praise, obedience kink-ish, overstimulation, squirting, Jinx gets too greedy, aftercare-ish, smut with plot. mdni .á.á
# word count. 7k
ᯠâď¸ lucky speaks: this got a bit out of hand, i was aiming for 3k words </3 kinda rushed ending! half proofread. this one goes out to the anon who suggested that Jinx is selfish with her pleasure :3
the thing about Jinx and you is that your friendship isn't normalânot by any sane standard, metric, or rulebook ever written. not when you've already burned through every normal boundary two so-called "roommates" should have.
you circle each other with a heat that polite people would call âchemistryâ and honest people would call âforeplay.â you're touchy in that way girls with repressed desires often areâcareless, intimate, blisteringly casual. Jinx pads around the apartment half-naked: tank top sliding off one shoulder, little shorts that could qualify as underwear, and you don't even blink anymore. your eyes might flick onceâtraitorsâbut you pretend it's casual. you change shirts in front of her, and she doesn't look away. she just pretendsâbadlyâthat she's only admiring your bra choice or necklace or whatever flimsy excuse she can muster that day.
you share baths like it's a water bill strategy, sitting knee-to-knee in a porcelain tub too small for one person, let alone two grown women pretending not to notice how often your calves slide over each other. like shaving each other's legs is some sort of sisterly bonding activity.
she smacks your ass when she needs attentionâno warning, palm heavy, echoing in the hallwayâand you retaliate with a hit so hard her thigh tattoo jiggles. she calls you a slut, you call her a whore; and somehow, it lands sweeter than any "good morning" or "i love you" you don't dare say out loud ever could.
it's absurd, borderline perverted, and deeply codependentâbut it's working for you. this is affection, apparently. it keeps you both fed in a way normalcy never could. and for the most part, you get away with it; neither of you acknowledges the heat simmering quietly under every touch, nor the way your shared baths grow longer, slower, full of casual nudity that doesn't feel casual at all once the steam starts clinging to the walls like a witness.
your friends pull you aside and ask how you âput up with her.â their tone always shiftsâcurious, confused, a little nosyâbecause theyâve seen the way she crowds you in doorways, the way you adjust her necklace for her, the way she tugs you onto her lap at parties half-joking, half-not. they ask why she bites your shoulder when sheâs bored. they ask why you let her.
Jinx gets questions, too. people ask if youâre âa thing.â she laughs like the idea is ridiculous, even though she never denies it outright. she just shrugs and says, âweâre close,â which is a lie lacking even the respect of effort.
according to everyone else, youâre either fucking, denying that youâre fucking, or about to start fucking any second now.
"you ever think that if we were straight, people wouldn't be so obsessed with whether or not we're sleeping together?" you asked once, lost in thought, watching her take a rather ambitious hit from her bong.
"oh, we'd fuck if we were straight," she replied, voice hoarse as she coughed through smoke. "just less cutely.â
"we're not cute."
"we're fucking adorable."
and that was that. she said it like it was the simplest fact in the world. somehow, that ended the conversationâthough it answered absolutely nothing.
the degeneration begins, as most of your scientific breakthroughs do, with online rabbit holes and questionable sobriety.
you're idly stroking the ends of her hair, wearing nothing but panties and an oversized shirt you definitely stole from her laundry pile. she's wearing a pair of soft shorts and no bra, nipples visible through the fabric of her crop top and absolutely not a problem for anyone involved. you're both flushed, stupid and pliable from a mix of THC and cheap sangria in your shared living room. you end up on your stomachs without even meaning to, slowly sliding off the couch like wax slipping off a candle until you're sprawled on the floor in front of Jinx's laptop. it feels juvenile, like a middle school sleepover where you're googling things your parents would have killed you for.
except you're adults, and this is much, much worse.
the search history starts tame: "worst tattoos ever," "can you microdose nutmeg," and a few subreddits you'll regret opening. but the real fun begins when Jinx opens pornhub like she's pulling up a recipe for banana bread.
the carpet is soft beneath you, shoulders touching, legs kicking behind you in lazy little motions, mirroring each other's rhythm like a pair of bonded siamese cats and betraying your excitement. she clicks on the first video she sees, and something softcore loads: two girls on a bed, all sighs and colorful lighting but nothing too explicit yet. barely porn by internet standards, really, but you both giggle into your hands anyway, like two corrupted schoolgirls sneaking "girls kissing" on the family computer.
and then it devolvesâbeautifully. somewhere between the second and third video, you morph into the most insufferable pair of sex critics the world has ever spawned.
"no lube? rookie move."
"her nails are way too long for this. she's gonna core her like a fucking apple."
"he needs to shut up. and shave his ass."
"mute him. immediately."
"no one needs a close-up like that. seriously! nobody needs a panoramic shot of swinging balls."
you're choking on laughter, bumping into each other every time one of you shakes too hard. at some point, Jinx's chin hooks over your shoulder, her breath warm against your skin as she steadies herself on you. your foot hooks behind her ankle in response, thoughtless but intimate.
somewhere in the haze of poor lighting, bad acting, and fake orgasms, you lose track of how many videos you've critiqued. obviously neither of you is going to admit that you went from mocking the performers to actually watchingâthat would be healthy. you're definitely not giggling because the girl's face looks really pretty when she moans. you're definitely not pressing your thighs together because the rhythm is doing something inconveniently effective to your hormones. you're definitely not shifting your hips against the carpet with a little too much intention, searching for a hint of friction.
this is fun. this is platonic. this is just two friends doing dumb shit on a tuesday night.
sure.
you're pretending, because that's what you're best at.
but pretending doesn't stand a chance against the algorithm, and when a toy appears in the next videoâa cute-looking rabbit vibratorâJinx perks up like a meerkat spotting danger on the horizon.
"woah, pause," she blurts, grabbing your wrist and dragging the laptop closer. "zoom in. no, go backâthere!" her manicured finger taps against the screen with the kind of excitement that has historically led you both into terribly wonderful decisions. "that one actually seems fun. how much do you think it is?"
"you're joking."
she isn't. you know she isn'tâher pupils are too big, her tone too genuine, her interest too real. and that's the exact moment everything starts going downhill in high definition, because of course you google the brand and manage to click yourselves straight into an adult store homepage overflowing with silicone just to satiate her needs.
suddenly, the screen becomes an erotic fever dream with flashing neon banners and lube bottles sorted by flavor. the categories bloom across the header in bold fonts:
"what the fuck," you whisper to yourself, mildly horrified.
"what the fuck," she echoes, but with the delighted awe of a kid in a candy store. she's already scrolling like the investigator she pretends to be, nodding to herself. "oohâgift cards! makes christmas shopping easier," she chirps.
you inhale sharply, like someone witnessing a car crash you cannot look away from, when you spot a section titled "UNUSUAL FRIENDS," featuring alien dicks and jelly-like appendages with suction cupsâproducts that look less like sex toys and more like sci-fi movie props.
"Jinx, holy fuck. why are there so many ridges?" you gasp, jabbing a finger at a chartreuse tentacle with a price tag so high it should come with dinner and aftercare. you bury your face in the carpet, groaning into the fibers.
"there are too many ridges," she agrees solemnly, rubbing circles into your back like that might help.
you scroll further into the best-sellers: Jinx hums approvingly as glass plugs roll into view, then lets out a low whistle at a sleek, vibrating wand she was not-so-secretly considering for herself two weeks ago.
"you were eyeing that one," you point out, unable to hide the amused glint in your eyes.
"yeah," she admits, shameless, "but the shipping sucked."
then you hit the glitter sectionâsparkling dildos promising a "magical experience," as if the fairy godmother herself manufactures fake cocks on the side.
"no one's hole is that ambitious," you mutter.
she doesn't even miss a beat. "speak for yourself."
you smack her arm, she smacks your ass, and balance is restored to the universe.
fifteen minutes pass in a blur of silicone, sizing guides, and color options. you get distracted comparing thicknesses, she gets lost comparing vibration patterns; you both get derailed by something labeled "the diplomat."
"i refuse to understand who this is for."
"diplomats, obviously," she deadpans, scrolling away before you have to think about it too hard. she flattens her palm on the carpet, turning to you like she's about to make an announcement. "okay. we pick something just for ourselves, nothing weird. self-care, right?"
"right," you nod, trying not to visibly swallow your own heartbeat. "because we're mature."
you scroll at a cautious pace, cursor hovering over something gentle, pastel, subtleâcurved just right, designed for comfort, pretty in that quietly humiliating way that reveals far too much about who you are behind closed doors.
you click it curiously.
Jinx sees.
Jinx pounces.
"awww, look at you," she croons, sliding closer like she's drawn by the scent of embarrassment, "sweet little princess picking her baby dildo."
"some of us have functioning pelvic floors," you reply flatly, giving her a lazy shove. she uses the momentum to burrow in even more, chin hooking over your shoulder again, arms half-wrapped around your waist like she's claiming real estate.
"ohhh, that's how you wanna play it?" she murmurs, nosing at your skin. she's all warmth and limbs and cheap sangria breath as she laughs into your neck.
this isn't new, you remind yourself. this isn't strange.
this is just⌠Jinx. touchy on a normal day, unbearable when she's high.
"get off," you mumble, not even pretending to mean it.
your denial has no spine.
Jinx has never minded exploiting that.
"mhmm," she hums, not listening at all, already dragging the freckled bridge of her nose along your jaw. "knew you'd go for the soft one." she presses a teasing kiss just below your ear, light but obnoxiously knowing nevertheless. her fingers curl around your hip, tugging you in. "i bet you like everything soft and gentle, hm?" she whispers, voice dropping into something hot and mean. another kiss, closer to your throat. she bites gently, just because she can. "you melt for that shit. slow and nice and sweetâ"
"please shut up." you roll your eyesânot because you disagree, but because she's right and you refuse to give her the satisfaction. your head tilts anyway, giving her more room.
she grins against your skin, practically purring, soaking in your reaction like it's her favorite narcotic. when she finally pulls backâjust far enough to breathe, not far enough to give you proper spaceâshe sits up and immediately selects something arrogant in size for herself, like she's got something to prove.
"you can't be serious," you whisper, almost in awe, blinking at the toy on the screen. "babe, that's a colonoscopy if you slip it in wrong."
she wiggles her eyebrows in response. "i like a challenge." and then, because she can't help herself, she dips back in and plants another kiss to the crook of your neckâmocking, adoring, filthy in intention but playful in delivery. "what? too big for you?" she asks dumbly, all mock innocence. "you picked your cute little pastel training wheels. i want this."
she knows exactly what she's doing. it's not a boast as much as it is a performanceâa demonstration of exactly what kind of girl she is, just in case you still had any doubts. she wants you to imagine it: her struggling to take it, sweating and splitting herself open on colorful silicone and still not giving up until she's overstuffed, whining into her pillow. she wants you to know she's stubborn enough, needy enough, capable. she wants the idea to stick to your brain and rot there.
"don't worry. i'll leave the delicate stuff to you," she murmurs, plum-colored lips brushing along your accelerating pulse, "let me handle the heavy lifting."
"you're fucking insufferable," you groan, but your hand drifts up to her hair all the same, giving her scalp an indulging scratch that makes her melt into you with a low, pleased sound.
"and yet," she murmurs, voice smug and velvet-soft right against your ear, "you're still letting me talk shit."
and for a while, everything is pleasant, manageableâjust two girls buying masturbation supplies. you browse, you debate colors and sizes and shapes like you're picking an accent pillow. between the warmth of her body pressed along your back and the slow pulse of the laptop light, you almost forget you're shopping for things meant to make you shake and moan. if the universe had mercy, it would let you stay in this small illusion.
but because curiosity is a slippery creature, it does what it always does with the two of you: mutates into depravity.
Jinx scrolls, pauses, then scrolls back up. her finger hovers over a category neither of you has acknowledged yetâintentionally avoided, even.
"you ever used a double-ended dildo?" her voice comes out too airy and casual to be anything but interest hiding under a joke.
"where the fuck did that come from?"
"we're looking at sex toys," she says with a helpless shrug, as if that explains everything. "my brain is doing its job."
"so is mine," you say dryly, looking unimpressed. "and it's telling me you're about to say something stupid."
"okay but seriously," she presses, waving you off as she turns onto her side to face you fully. "have you?"
"no," you answer simply, refusing to give her any foothold. "why? you need someone to practice on?"
"bitch." she pinches your thigh sharp enough to make you jerk. "i'm just sayinâ. seems fun."
you scoff, pretending the heat isn't already pooling low while trying to play it cool. "for who?"
"for us. obviously." she scoffs, like it's the dumbest question you've ever asked.
"yeah, okay. sure. because that's casual."
"it can be casual," Jinx insists, far too confident, far too earnest for someone suggesting a shared silicone toy. "like brushing each other's hair⌠but sluttier."
you stare at her; she stares back, unblinking, dead serious in the most unserious way you've seen since the day she moved in with three boxes and a promise to "never bring weird shit into the apartment."
lie number one of many.
"this is the worst metaphor anyone has ever said to me."
"what? you think women in ancient greece weren'tâ"
"i got the message. stop talking."
she snickers, nudging your shoulder with hers like you're in on the joke instead of actively drowning in its implication. "hypothetically speaking," she tries again, "if we got oneâ"
"hypothetically."
"hypothetically," she repeats with an exaggerated nod, holding up a finger with solemn dignity that means absolutely nothing coming from her.
"uh-uh." you sigh, already exhausted. "and what color would this hypothetical⌠shared dick be?"
"blue," Jinx replies instantly. "as god intended."
"you just want it to match your aesthetic. pink is literally the universal dildo color."
"boob punch incoming if you keep that up."
and suddenly, the adult store homepage doesn't feel so harmless anymore. neither do the categories. neither do the toys. neither do her eyes when she peers at you and purrs, "we could look at them, y'know."
everything after that happens too fast, too stupid to trackâa blackout made of adrenaline and shared intoxication. you're aware of flashes, maybe: her hair brushing your cheek, your hand accidentally covering hers on the trackpad. a pink option. a blue one. her saying, "that's cute," and you humming, "that's nicer."
time stretches, collapses, folds in on itself. you come to, like waking up from a trance, and there it is: a pink-and-blue double-ended dildo sitting in the cart. a compromise, a diplomatic solutionâlike it fucking matters. as if the color would change anything about the fact that you're ordering a shared dick specifically designed to be inside both of you at once. as if the soft fade from cotton candy pink to electric blue is going to matter once you're both split open on it. as if a stupid silicone hue would distract either of you from the fact that you're ready to ruin your entire, already-rotting friendship over joint penetration.
Jinx's pointer finally drags the cursor to the checkout button. "say please."
"for what?"
"for me to buy us a shared dick. c'mon."
"Jinx, i'm not begging forâ"
"you're scared."
"of what? your pussy?"
"you should be."
click.
order confirmed.
your doom is sealed, boxed, and en route.
the world doesn't explode. no alarms go off. no divine being descends to slap the laptop out of your handsâunfortunately. you just lie there, side by side, high out of your minds while the order confirmation number glows in front of you.
because now there's a dildoâthree, technicallyâhurtling toward your apartment through the miracle of express shipping, and you both know exactly what that could mean if you weren't cowards.
it arrives exactly two days later, in a discreet brown boxâplain, innocent, offensively unlabelled. the universe hands you plausible deniability on a silver platter; the postal worker, however, drops it against the door with a thud that sounds like judgment.
"special delivery," Jinx announces happily as she carries it in. "our friendship just got balls-deep."
you follow her into the kitchen, scrunching your nose as you peer over her shoulder. she grabs a knife and slices the tape open, peeling the cardboard flaps back.
suddenly there's too much inside.
three toys as promised: the two personal ones you each picked, tucked neatly in their boxes⌠and the main attraction. the double-ended dildo sits nestled in tissue paper, pink melting into blue with a dreamy and romantic softness that not only mocks you both, but contrasts with the thickness itself.
you both stare at your purchase, heads tilting in tandem.
definitely bigger in person.
"wow," you manage, a bit breathless already. "that's⌠optimistic."
"still scared of it?" she asks, annoyingly gentle.
"i just think it looksâŚ" you mutter, gesturing vaguely, "a little too eager."
"i like it eager," she replies, with the confidence of a woman who's absolutely planning to break herself on it.
"i didn't think you'd actuallyâ"
"you literally held my hand while i checked out," Jinx reminds youânot even smug anymore, just factual.
you clear your throat and slide it back into the box like you're taming a snake. you both drag it into her nightstand like it weighs sixty pounds of suppressed desire and shove it insideâout of sight, not even remotely out of mind.
the next few days pass in denial; you pretend it's funny, while she pretends she's not waiting. you try not to think about the thickness, or how the silicone might give under pressure, or how your bodies would move against each other⌠if you follow through. she keeps picking it up at inopportune timesâasking your opinion on angles, positions, storage. you argue over what lube counts as "neutral."
still, neither of you says no. and the longer it sits untouched, the harder it becomes to pretend it was just a joke all along.
much harder than taking it ever would be.
everything comes to a halt on a fridayâunusually boring, rainy, insomniac-heavy. Jinx is sprawled upside down with her legs hooked over her headboard, flicking her zippo open and closed in an absentminded rhythm. her shirt has rucked up over her ribs, exposing a stretch of soft, pale stomach and the beauty marks scattered across her hips like sugar someone spilled just to tempt you. you're sitting cross-legged on the floor, pretending you're not staring at the curve of her waist every time she shifts.
you're not even talking about anything truly meaningfulâjust bad exes and worse sexts. how both of you have better luck getting off by yourselves. how dating is exhausting, how hookups are awkward, how lately it just feels easier to not bother.
"i haven't come with someone in, like⌠over a year," you admit, voice small and blunt in the low light of her bedroom.
"what?" she blinks at you, lighter clicking shut with finality. "babe, that's negligence."
"takes too long." you shrug, rubbing your thumb along your calf almost self-soothingly. "and i hate pretending."
she studies you, and the upside down angle does nothing to soften her expression. "you wouldn't have to pretend with me," she points out simply.
"Jinxâ"
"i'm just saying!" she rolls herself upright with a lazy twist, hair messy. she crawls to the edge of the bed, sitting right behind you, peering over your shoulder like she's reading your pulse. "i'm practically your best friend, right? i'd trust you to make me come. easy."
you turn your head slightly, just enough to see her in your periphery, heartbeat tripping over itself. she doesn't smile yetâjust watches you, waiting for your brain to catch up.
"that's not what iâyou can't just say things like that," you manage, conflicted.
"why not?" she asks softly. her voice has changedâlower, smoother, laced with warmth that curls behind your ribs. she shifts off the bed, landing quietly on her knees behind you. her presence wraps around you like heat, legs bracketing your hips without quite touching. her hands come to rest lightly on your shoulders, thumbs brushing slow arcs into your skin, testing. "i'm serious," she murmurs into your ear, making your skin prickle. "you hate pretending. i hate pretending. feels like an obvious solution."
oh, the irony. the staggering, ridiculous ironyâpretending is all you've ever done with her. your entire friendship is a performance; touchier than friends, cleaner than lovers, stitched together with denial and long looks you both refuse to name.
and now she says she's tired of it, like you both didn't build your whole dynamic on it. you're not sure whether to laugh or scream or call her out on it.
but the hypocrisy tastes sweet coming from her mouth.
"that's not fairâŚ"
"hey," Jinx soothes, fingers sliding from your shoulders to your upper arms, slow enough to feel intentional but not indecent just yet. "you said it yourself. it's hard with other people. too much pressure, too much bullshit."
you simply nod, small and helpless, because you can't seem to do anything else.
"but not with me," she continues, voice dripping with something unbearably coaxing and decadent. "i know you. you wouldn't have to fake a thing." she leans in, chest to your back, her breath ghosting down the side of your neck. "i could help you⌠if you wanted."
a beat, then another. her hands glide down your arms again, stopping just above your elbowsâgentle, deliberate, grounding.
"i can do it for you," she adds, softer this time, as if she's afraid you'll spook if she pushes too hard. "you deserve someone who actually pays attention."
you swallowâtoo hard, too loudâbut at least the sound means your throat is still working.
"i'd pay attention. i'd make it good," she murmurs, lips brushing the shell of your ear lightly. "you know i would."
"fuck," you breathe out involuntarily, and she exhales like the sound of you needing her is its own high.
"mhmm," Jinx hums, smiling into your neck. "i can do it for you." her fingers skate down your sides, slow and teasing, until her hands curve around your waist, drawing you back into her in a soft-bodied claim. "we already have the toy."
the words go off inside you like a shot. your stomach flips violently, thighs pressing together before you can stop them, and she tightens her grip on you just a fraction, but enough to tell you she liked it.
"yeah," she breathes, her teeth grazing your jaw like it's taking everything in her to hold back. "it'll just be you and me, like always." her hands slide slowly up your waist, fingertips pressing into the most sensitive spots she has no business knowing this well. "tell me you don't want that."
you can't speak. you can barely breathe, really. your whole body is trembling now, betraying you as you lean back, practically offering yourself to her.
"orâŚ" her voice drops into a velvety kind of whisper, like she knows what comes next, "tell me to keep going."
you strip because she does; Jinx strips because she's been waiting for the excuse. the second her shirt comes off, she looks lighter, energized. her shorts drop to the floor, and she kicks them away with ridiculous enthusiasm. her body is a map you know well: the scattered freckles on her chest, the faint scars across her thighs, marks you've noticed a hundred times but somehow feel new under this lighting.
and when she drops her panties, there's the bushâslightly darker than her hair, shaved down into a cute little heart. a blue heat-center you're not supposed to care about.
you're trying to look calm, but your skin feels too tight, every breath a little too sharp. there's nothing unfamiliar about the nudity, but this is differentâthis is intent, stripping for each other, stripping for sex.
Jinx warms the lube between her palms, but her hands are shaking with how badly she wants thisâwants you, wants this boundary erased, wants the physical proof that she was always right about the two of you. you lie on your side, already soaked, rubbing gentle circles over your clitâenough to take the edge off while keeping yourself aching. she watches openly, unblinking and pupils blown, like seeing your body react is something she's wanted for months.
"if we go ass to ass," she finally says, coating both ends of the dildo with just enough lube, like she's been practicing on fantasies of you, "then it's not, like⌠intimate intimate."
"you mean if we don't make eye contact while we fuck each other at the same time?"
"exactly!" she beams, almost giddy. "it's practically platonic."
âfine. then rule number two: no kissing.â your laugh breaks halfway through, dissolving into a helpless sound you don't want her to hear. you eventually end up on all fours: face down, backs turned, knees digging into the mattress, toy heavy and slick in your hands.
"okay," Jinx breathes, settling behind you, crouched and buzzing with anticipation, "on the count of three."
you nod, though your head is spinning. she's excitedâgenuinely, stupidly excitedâbecause to her, this is a door she's been secretly pressing her weight against for months, waiting for the slightest give.
and tonight, you've opened it for her. this moment? this setup? this is the closest she's ever been to getting what she's wanted from you.
"one."
"two."
"threeâwait!" she suddenly bursts into cackles. "are we going in together or, like⌠alternating? i feel like we need a traffic system."
"Jinx!" you whine, spine arching involuntarily, nearly collapsing forward in exasperation. "please."
"right, right. shutting up."
liar.
your thighs tremble as you press back slowly, guiding the blunt head in and letting it nudge you open with a faint whimper. you freeze for a split second, humiliated by your own voice. it's not instant pleasureâit's too big for that, too much. "shit," you whisper, your movements shallow and tentative.
"cute when you swear."
"you're already pushing it."
"i'm pushing it, alright."
behind you, Jinx then gruntsâa sound so hungry it tells you she's already taking more than she should, already pushing herself further than you are. you can only imagine it: pink folds dwarfed by the sheer thickness of the toy, taking inch after inch like she's starving for it, hazy-eyed. you don't have to look at her to know it.
"fuuuck, you feel that?" her voice is all grit, low and wild. "i forgot how good that is."
she hasn't; she just likes saying it out loud. she likes reminding you what kind of girl she isâsoaked, sensitive, cockdrunk the second something's inside her. she wants you to hear it. she wants her own filth to rub off on you, like a sick little claim.
"this isâ" she laughs under her breath, delighted and disgusting all at once, "âso fucked. even for us."
you're too busy gasping into your palm to answer, trembling as you take more. every time you try to steady yourself, another ripple of sensation knocks you off balance, punching shameful moans out of you at the worst moments.
and Jinx is eating it up.
she's the first to start moving properly, grinding back slowly, making the dildo push forward, forcing it deeper into you and bridging you both. she's loving thisâthe stretch, the pressure, the greedy fullness. it hits something inside her brain like a switch every time. no one else knows that, but she hopes you doâshe wants you to.
you whine, hand slipping between your legs to rub fast, wet circles over your throbbing clit. your walls are fluttering frantically as they struggle to adjust, cunt overstretched by pink silicone that begins to brush against the sweetest spot inside you with every thrust Jinx slams right back into you.
"you're fucking tight, huh?" she rasps, voice cracking around the edges of a laugh sheâs too far gone to swallow. she fucks herself onto the toy with more force that necessary, grinning through it, wanting to feel you flinch with every slam of her hips. she's always been the impatient one, a greedy little whore when it comes to sensation; so she rolls her hips back harder, meaner, grinning knowingly when you finally cry out. âgot ya.â
she begins bullying your g-spot over and over, wanting to push you, overwhelm you, watch you fall apart faster than her; she's enjoying your struggle even more than her own pleasure. she loves how much power she has over you, how she can make your voice stutter and your thoughts go fuzzy just from being a little selfish.
"poor baby can't take it already?â her tone is pure corruptionâsoft, mocking, coaxing, loving the way your breath stutters every time she speaks. âgod, youâre adorable.â
"don't⌠don't say thatâ"
"mmh," she groans, pleased and vicious all at once. "knew it. knew you'd be like this."
"like what?" you manage, though your voice is shaking.
"like everything i imagined," she whispers. "sweet, overwhelmed. trying so hard to keep up."
you let out another broken sound, strangled and embarrassing, and she shudders behind youâa full-body reaction she doesn't bother hiding.
"yeah," she pants, and you can hear the smile in her voice. "give me that. let me hear you."
you don't even notice how frantic your movements have become until the bed starts creaking with the motion, but you both keep grinding, fucked full on either end of the same dripping thing. your knees spread wider, backs bowing further and further as you keep chasing the angle that makes your vision swim. the toy finally gives and bottoms out, leaving no room to pretend. it disappears between you and forces your pussies to press close, flushed lips parting against each other from the pressure.
Jinx registers it first and lets out a filthy little giggle, bottom lip happily caught between her teeth. "clits are kissing," she points out. "that's so fucking cute."
you choke on a moan, entire body tensing as you try to pull forward, but the dildo is buriedâlocking you in place, folds rubbing against hers, wet and swollen. "Jinx! just⌠shut the fuck upâ"
"don't move!" she pants, voice high, panic and exhilaration tangled together. "don't you fucking dareâthis is perfect."
"Jinx, please⌠fuck!â
"you feel that, right? feel how wet we are?" she rocks her hips in deliberate circles as if to emphasize her point. your juices mix, sticky and hot between your mashed folds, clits making out with each thrust. "that's your slick on my clit. you're soaking me."
you're goneâgrinding, whining, barely keeping yourself upright as your nails dig into the colorful sheets beneath you. "it's too much⌠s'too deep, i can'tâ"
"nuh-uh. you'll take it," she snaps, hips slamming back, wanting to feel you buckle under her. "you'll learn to take it. right here, with me."
you try to keep the rhythm, but Jinx has no sense of moderation, no concept of pacing. you're both moving, sure, but she's the one dragging you into her tempo, like you're an accessory to her pleasure. she's bouncing a little nowâshort, fast thrusts that make the toy slap wetly between you, obscene in the otherwise quiet apartment. of course she's not even trying to hold back; she's not built for restraint. not when she can feel the toy tug and push with every needy grind of her hips.
and the whole time, sheâs loud on purpose. not performativeâJinx doesnât do fakeâbut she doesnât bite back a single moan, not one strained whimper, not a breathy curse. she lets every sound spill out of her, messy and unfiltered, because she knows you can hear her. because she wants you to. sheâs loud because she wants you undone by the fact that sheâs getting off on you.
it's making you lose composure faster than youâd like to; you need something to cling to while she's ruining you from behind so easily without even looking. you're overwhelmed, dizzy and trembling, but something about that intensity feels right, like she's pressing all the right buttons you didn't even know you had. you reach back blindly, hand fumbling for purchase until it finds her thigh, fingers digging into the soft and creamy flesh to ground yourself. her whole body jumps at the contact, driving the dildo deeper. her brain is pure static by now, near delirious, but she lives for thisâyou being full, stretched, used, needing her.
your sounds build: moans layered, breaths stuttering, skin slapping, slick squelching. "you sound so fucked out," she giggles, eyes wide and unfocused. "i haven't even touched you." but then she grabs for you, tooâone hand gripping the soft meat of your ass, anchoring herself and driving harder. "mmphâharder! c'mon, sweet girl."
you obey before you can think, hand clawing into her hip now, yanking her back. the sound she makes when she feels you commit nearly undoes you. her eyes roll back, and your name starts falling from her lips like a mantraâover and over between high-pitched moans and sobs of pleasure. she tries to touch herself, tries to stay ahead of the sensation, and you can feel how sloppy it is. she's chasing the kind of friction that only makes things overstimulating; she twitches away from her own touch, then forces herself right back into the feeling like she refuses to slow down.
"there you go. good fucking girl," she breathes proudly, voice breaking on a whimper. "you're notâmmphâused to this, huh? bet you're loving it anyway."
she's losing to her own greed, and you're losing to the desperate need to keep up with her, to not disappoint her. you want to be the one who can keep up with the girl who never holds back.
"fuckfuckfuckâi'm right there, m'gonna comeâdon't stopâ"
you beat her to it when your body arches, mouth opening in a silent scream, thighs clenching as your orgasm rips through youâhot and borderline humiliating, gushing around the toy as your pussy sucks it in with each spasm. Jinx groans behind you, hips jerking back with a final slap, pressing your asses flush. she arches and clings to the headboard, face crumpled, nearly sobbing through the unforgiving release as her cunt clenches hard around the other end.
and then you hear itâa heavy, squirting sound as more wetness pools between your locked bodies, soaking the back of your thighs and darkening the sheets beneath you. "ohâfuckâoh my godâ" she chokes out, half-laughing, half-crying, the sound coming out wrecked and startled, drunk on her orgasm. "iâgahâi didn'tâholy shit!"
you let out a prolonged moan, grinding faintly through the aftershocks as relief floods your body like never before. your releases coat the toy, sticking between your folds in a shared messâthere's no way to tell whose slick is whose anymore. but while you're already done, already whimpering, shaking and breathless, Jinx keeps moving.
"Jinx, wait! shitâ" you gasp, but the words barely come out, dissolving into a violent twitch. "m'too sensitiveâ"
"just a little more⌠please, don't pull away yet," she whines, only half-apologetic as she tightens her grip and holds you in place.
relentless. greedy. selfish.
because if she still can, she will.
her hips roll back into yours, sticky cunt smearing against yours, toy still buried so deep it squelches when she moves. you feel her clit throbbing right against yours, making you mewl faintly into the pillow, helpless.
"be good," she whimpers, almost pleadingly. "i don't even wanna comeâjust wannaâ"
you try to bear it, to stay with her through the last of it, but your body betrays you, fucked open and rawâyou're flinching, toes curled, pussy fluttering around the toy in overstimulated panic. it's the sound of your wet, ruined sob that finally cracks something open in Jinx.
she lets go, hand going slack and falling from your hip, chest heaving. you slump forward at the loss of your anchor, only dragging the toy along your sensitive walls, face buried in the sheets. she peers over her shoulder, dazed and blinking, suddenly aware of how tightly she held on, how hard she came, how much she took.
she pulls the dildo out of you first, movements gentle and careful as to not stimulate you further, before slipping it out of herself with a wet pop and tossing it aside.
"shit, i'm sorry. i didn'tâi got carried away. are youââ her voice cracks, the apology tangling itself into something almost scared. "are you okay?"
you can't answer immediately; your lungs don't work yet. your entire body is shuddering as the overstimulation riots under your skin. everything feels too hot, too bright, too intense⌠but not bad. not wrong.
she inches closer, but not enough to crowd youâjust enough that you can feel her warmth at your back, uncertain, guilty, waiting for the verdict like she expects you to flinch.
âsweetheart,â she tries again, barely audible, âtalk to me. please.â
it takes a full, shaking breath before you can form any sound at all. then another breath before the sound turns into a laughâsoft, cracked, delirious. you lift your head and let out a stunned giggle that makes your shoulders shake. âJinx,â you manage, voice wrecked beyond dignity, âholy shit.â
she blinks, startled. âthat's not an answer.â
you laugh againâa messy, fucked out little soundâand flop onto your side, facing away so she doesnât see the stupid smile stretching your lips. âiâm okay,â you pant, still trembling. âiâm⌠jesus. i'm okay. that was justââ you swallow, cheeks burning, ââa lot.â
Jinx exhales like sheâs been underwater. for the first time since the high swallowed her, she lets her hand rest on your bare backâlight, cautious, trembling with the leftover adrenaline. "you fucking scared me. i thought i overdid it."
you shake your head, still giggling weakly. "i'm just fried. need a second."
she lets out a shaky breath that sounds like relief and something more awestruck. âyou sure?â she asks, softer.
you finally look back at her, eyes heavy, lips parted, expression stupidly dazed. âJinx,â you whisper, âthat was insane.â
her whole posture melts. the guilt, the panic, the tension? it all drains at once, replaced by a grin thatâs half-proud, half-disbelieving, all Jinx. âyeah?â she murmurs, settling beside you like sheâs afraid to jostle you. âyeah⌠it kinda was.â
she moves closer, cunt still throbbing faintly from her orgasm, lips wet and shiny from drooling just the tiniest bit in the heat of it all. she tucks her face into your neck, nose against the pleasant warmth of your skin, breathing you in like you're the only real thing left in the world. she's soft, completely undone in a way she usually doesn't let anyone see. your fingers trail up her spine, gentle, stroking like you're afraid she might disappear if you press too hard, heart still stuttering against your ribs.
you both know where you areâthe after. the part where the rules get reassembled as if they still matter. the part where you should laugh it off and pretend it didn't mean anything.
but Jinx isn't moving. she's not making a joke. she's not hiding. she stays curled into you, hovering close, mouth brushing the line of your jaw. and when you turn your head just enough to meet her eyes, you can see the ruined look in her faceâburning but tender, like she's seeing you for the first time again and it's too much to handle.
her voice comes out hoarse, a whisper against your mouth when she speaks again.
"i"m gonna break the rule."
theres barely time to breathe before she does.
she kisses you like she's been waiting forever, slow and deep, lips parting with the softest sigh as her tongue slides in, tentative but smooth. you open for her instantly, hand sliding to her cheek, pulling her closer, bodies already pressed together but suddenly not close enough. you kiss like cats drink milkâlong, slow licks, tongues brushing in the softest glide, breaths catching with every shifts. she whimpers into it, hips grinding just once against your thigh like she can't help herself. you moan back, licking softly into her mouth once more, like tasting her there is simply a continuation of everything you had already done.
and maybe this is kind of intimate.
but not like that, right?
â divider by @/cursed-carmine !!
how it feels to write smut sometimes. i physically cannot drop them in the middle of it with no context or buildup. next thing iâm posting will be bite-sized i am TIRED.
â says girl who is doing this to herself for the love of the game
Your relationship with Jackie Taylor was everything you could have dreamed of...or so you thought. When your plane crashes, will the trials and tribulations of the wilderness help you escape your haunted past, or are you doomed to repeat history?
Pairing: Jackie Taylor x fem!reader to eventual Shauna Shipman x fem!reader
Warnings: Implied abuse, non-descriptive (yet).
MDNI
Sitting on the dusty attic floor of the cabin, you press your head against the old wooden wall. You hear voices grow louder below you, the argument intensifying. An argument that is your fault. You clench your fists, your fingers digging into the palms of your hands.Â
You think about home. About how often you would find yourself in a situation just like this. Sitting in a dark closet or laying under a bed. Hiding. His voice booming through the house, destroying everything in its path. Knowing you would be next if he found you. When he found you.Â
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to push the unwanted memory from your mind. Youâre not at home. Youâre here. Wherever here is.Â
You know you should go downstairs. Be a voice of reason. But you never were good at using your voice. Instead, you stay. You hide, like you always have. Like a coward, you think.Â
You try to think back to before the crash. Back to your life in Wiskayok. You think about soccer, about schoolâŚabout Jackie. You think about the events that led up to this moment.
-----
You think about a party over the summer that Lottie had. The whole team was there, you were all friends even in the offseason. You think about how Jackie had kissed you that night. The feeling of her lips on yours, her breath ghosting over your face. What you expected to be a drunken regret turned into you becoming Jackie Taylorâs girlfriend.Â
You had been friends with Jackie for years. You were never super close or anything, but friends nonetheless. You were surprised that she had any interest in you at all. When you look at Jackie Taylor, you see perfection. The classic all American girl. Youâd expect her to be dating the quarterback, like in all those stupid movies you watch with Van. Instead, she chose you, of all people.Â
Truthfully, you didnât even know Jackie liked girls. On the team, you knew there was you, of course. You were kind of obvious, with your short haircut and preference for clothes from the menâs section. You knew about Van, and subsequently Tai. Van had let it slip one day and begged you not to tell. Not that you ever would, but Taissa kind of scared you anyways, so there were zero worries there. There were a few other suspects, like that blonde girl on JV that always wore that stupid hat. But Jackie Taylor was never on your radar.Â
Jackie had a way of making you feel important. Of drawing people in. It was easy to get absorbed in her. She was magnetizing. There were moments you shared together that let you see a softer side of Jackie, the one that wasnât trying to impress the world and be so perfect. You felt like you knew a part of Jackie that no one else did. Something you held close, like it was precious. But reaching into someone so deeply has a way of breaking the cracks. When the cracks grow too large, the facade crumbles. Your perfect image of your perfect girlfriend would soon be shattered once you realized one thing; Jackie Taylor had a mean streak.Â
You first noticed it because of Shauna, actually. Jackie and Shauna being best friends meant you also spent a lot of time with Shauna by default. It was subtle at first, comments Jackie made. Talking about Shaunaâs hair, her clothes, who she should date. Shauna seemed to always take it in stride. But you could swear you sometimes saw a look of hurt cross her face when Jackie made a comment that was dig too deep. Usually for just a second. But it was there. You didnât like how Jackie treated Shauna sometimes.Â
You think about another party Lottie had when the school year started. Your senior year. Jackie had wanted you and Shauna to get ready with her at her house. So of course, you obliged. You had arrived at Jackieâs around 7pm. You noticed Shaunaâs car already in the driveway. Jackieâs mother answered the door.
âOh hello dear. The girls are up in Jackieâs roomâ Mrs. Taylor gave you a curt nod. Jackieâs parents werenât rude to you necessarily, but you donât think they liked you very much. Youâre pretty sure they thought you were âjust a phaseâ for their daughter.
You made your way up to Jackieâs room. Jackieâs eyes lit up when they saw you enter the door. She scanned your outfit, seeing you already ready to go.Â
âI thought we were getting ready together?â She pouted. Â
âI didnât want to carry a whole extra bag with me on the walk over. But you can fix my hair if you want, I think the wind messed it upâ you offered Jackie, knowing that she always liked to have some control of what you looked like.Â
Jackie smiled âGood! Because you know I hate those ratty shoes you woreâ. She was referring to your beat up black Converse shoes.Â
You didnât notice Shauna rolling her eyes. Jackie always had to criticize something about you.Â
Jackie left to go grab something from her bathroom, leaving you and Shauna alone.Â
âHi Shaunaâ you finally get a chance to properly acknowledge her.Â
âHeyâ Shauna gives you a warm smile.
Jackie returned with some hairspray, assumingly to fix your hair. Your hair was short and kind of shaggy. You like the tousled look, but Jackie said you couldnât look homeless either.Â
You waited around for what felt like forever for them to finish getting ready. Shauna pulled on a dark red jacket, which got Jackieâs attention.Â
âEw Shipman take that off, that jacket is disgustingâ
âItâs fine Jack letâs just goâ Shauna tried, clearly wanting to leave already.Â
âY/N, tell her that jacket is hideousâ Jackie looked at you expectantly.Â
You saw that same look of hurt flash across Shaunaâs eyes for a split second, before she opted to look at the ground instead.Â
âI like itâÂ
Your words made Shaunaâs eyes snap up to you in surprise, then to Jackie.Â
âLetâs just go,â Jackie muttered out.Â
Shauna was out the door first, so she didnât see the way Jackie spun on her heels. She missed the eye daggers that were thrown your way and the click of her jaw. She didnât see the way Jackie grabbed a fist full of your denim jacket to yank you forward, or hear her low words.Â
âDonât you ever fucking do anything like that againâ. Jackie gritted out between clenched teeth. She released your jacket with a slight shove and made her way down the stairs. Leaving you stunned.Â
That was the first time of many that you felt Jackie Taylorâs mean streak.Â
-----
You think back to the day of the plane ride. You remember how Jackie was mad. You remember calling her early that morning to see what time she (and her parents) would be by to pick you up, as planned. You didnât want to keep anyone waiting. Instead, you were met with a harsh tone that meant Jackie was pissed.Â
âIâm having my parents take me straight to the airportâÂ
âWhat? Jax, I thought you were picking me up?âÂ
âWell now Iâm not Y/N, so figure it outâ Jackie hissed out before abruptly ending the call.Â
You didnât know what you were going to do. Itâs not like you could ask your dad to drive you. You shudder, looking around like he would pop out from you even allowing the thought to cross your mind. Instead, you pick up the phone again, and this time you dial the number of the one person you know you could always count on.Â
âHello?â
As soon as you hear her voice crackle through the landline, you swallow hard. You don't know why you feel so guilty.Â
ââŚShauna?â
âY/N? Hey, whatâs up?âÂ
âUm. Well. I was wondering. If it was okay. Do you think - could you maybe give me a ride today?â You nervously stammer out.Â
Shauna hesitates for just a moment before she responds. âYou arenât going with Jackie?âÂ
âChange of plansâŚI guess. Itâs okay if you canât or donât want to, I can just walk-â
âYouâre not walking all the way there. Especially with luggage. Are you insane? Iâm coming to get you.â Shauna cuts you off.
âAre you sure?â You question softly.Â
âIâm positiveâ Shaunaâs gentle but firm tone tells you she means it.Â
âThank you, Shaunaâ
âDonât mention it. I'll be there in an hour, okay?â
âOkay, see you thenâÂ
The phone call ends. You feel relieved knowing that Shauna is coming to pick you up. But you still have that pit in your stomach. You have one main worry - Jackie will be mad. To be fair, she did tell you to figure it out, and you did. But something tells you that wonât be enough to satisfy your girlfriend.Â
You remember Shauna helping you load your luggage into her car. You only had a suitcase and your backpack, but Shauna still insisted. Shauna was always helpful like that. Jackie would probably be sitting in the car already telling you to hurry up.
The car ride to the airport was comfortable. Shauna had some mixtape playing quietly, you canât remember what it was exactly. You liked Shaunaâs music though.Â
âSo. Change of plans, huh?â Shauna asked, glancing at you from the driverâs seat.Â
âUh. Yeah. Yeah I guess. She didnât say anything to you?â You question, trying to hide your nervousness. You didnât look up in time to see Shauna sparing some more glances your way, spotting how you were playing with your fingers in your lap. Something you did when you were nervous or worried, she had noticed.Â
âNo. She was all pissy that I didnât want to hook up with Randy at that stupid party yesterday. Then with everyone arguing, well you know how that went.â Shauna explained. You think itâs odd that a girl like Jackie wouldnât tell her best friend about something like this. But you donât think Shaunaâs lying to you either.Â
âShe was acting kind of weird last nightâŚâ you let out. Shaunaâs your friend too. Youâre allowed to talk about this, right?Â
âWeird how?âÂ
âWell. I donât know. She was hanging out with those baseball guys a lot of the night. Especially Jeff Sadecki. I didnât even think they knew each other like that. She just kind of blew me off. And then after she made us do that stupid group bonding thing, she justâŚI donât knowâ.Â
âYou donât know?â Shauna saw Jackie hanging out with Jeff. Though hanging out was putting it lightly. She was all over him. It was pathetic. And it made Shauna angry. She saw how you kept looking over at them. The hurt look on your face whenever you saw Jackie laughing or smiling at something Jeff said, all while ignoring you. Shauna leaves that part out though, youâre not blind.Â
You hesitate before answering Shauna. You do know. Or at least you thought you did. But when you brought it up to Jackie last night, she had gotten angry. You donât want to make Shauna angry too.Â
âHeyâŚyou can tell me. I donât run back and tell Jackie everything we talk about, you know. Youâre my friend tooâ Shauna reassures you softly.Â
You donât know why you give in so easily.Â
âOn the way home last night. She was being weird. And IâŚI asked her why she seemed mad that I partnered up with you during that group bonding thing. She...she told me that it was pathetic that I had to follow around her best friend all night.âÂ
You sounded like you wanted to say more. But Shauna didnât push. âShe said that to you? It was her idea to do group bonding. And you were not following me around all nightâ.Â
You stare down at your hands. You donât want to cause a fight between Shauna and Jackie. You shouldnât have brought it up.Â
âThanks again for the rideâ is all you respond. Hopefully signaling that you want to end that topic.Â
It was weird, flying on a private plane. You had only flown once before, on a big jet with lots of other people. This was a smaller plane, with just your team and the flight crew.Â
Jackie of course saw you get out of Shaunaâs car when you arrived. The irritation was instant. She didnât say it out loud. But you could tell. You could always tell.Â
Which is why you found yourself sitting alone on the flight, instead of next to your girlfriend. Jackie insisted Shauna sit by her. Shauna, being put in an awkward spot, suggested Jackie sit in the aisle seat, and you in the window seat, and she would sit in the aisle seat next to Jackie. Jackie, however, claimed she had to have a window seat or she would get sick, so that just wouldnât work. So now you found yourselves sitting with Jackie in a window seat with Shauna next to her. And yourself sitting in the row directly across from them. You had the row to yourself, so you opted to scoot over to the window seat. You could have gone and sat by Van, but you didnât think that would go over well with your girlfriend. You accept youâre going to have a pretty silent ride. You certainly didnât think Jackie would be talking to you much during the flight.Â
The plane going down was a blur. Or maybe it wasnât, and you chose to just block it out. You do have patches of vivid memory that always remain clear in your mind though. You remember the scent of smoke and burning fuel filling your nostrils. A high pitched ringing filled your ears. Your head felt like it was pounding. The world felt like it was spinning. You tried moving, and felt a sharp pressure radiating from your right side.
You felt hands on you, shaking your shoulders. Your body winced in pain. It took a lot of effort, but you finally got your eyes opened. When they finally focused enough, they met a pair of worried dark brown eyes staring back at you. Shauna. You saw her mouth moving, but all you could hear was the high pitched ringing still. All you could do was stare at her, your eyes getting too heavy to hold open. You felt movement. A hand on your head, you think it was the only thing keeping it upright. You struggled to open your eyes again. This time, you were met with a pair of hazel eyes. Jackie.Â
Suddenly, you felt a jolt of pain run through your side. You managed to look down, Jackieâs hands still keeping your head in place. Shauna was trying to pry the seatâs arm rest away from you. It looked like it had got impacted into your ribs. You donât see any blood, so you donât think it went through your skin or anything at least. You groan when Shauna pulls again. She is using all her strength to get the bar moved. You look up at Jackie again. She looks worried. You think thatâs odd. Especially for how mad Jackie was at you earlier. You see her talking to Shauna, but you canât make out the words, the ringing still filling your ears. Jackie removes one of her hands from your head, and you catch her eyes go wide. Youâre having trouble thinking, so it doesnât register to you what that means. You donât notice the blood on Jackieâs hand, or how she rushes to return it to your head, applying more pressure than before.Â
You assume Shauna got the arm bar free enough. Your mind was getting foggy by now. You remember being pulled out of your seat. Your ribs felt like they were on fire. You remember the flood of sound rushing back into your head. The screaming, the chaos happening around you. A voice from the back of the plane carries with distinction, begging for help. Van. You remember mumbling out her name. Van was your own best friend. Though, since youâve been dating Jackie, your hangouts have become less frequent.Â
âHey, hey, Y/N!â Shaunaâs voice sounded panicked, trying to get your attention. You still felt foggy. Like you were slipping again.
âVan..â you mumbled out again.Â
Shauna looked back at Jackie, then to the back of the plane. There was a small fire starting. Van had to get out soon.Â
âShauna I canât carry Y/N!â Jackie said.Â
She wasnât wrong. You were bigger than Jackie, both in height and weight.
Shauna instantly wrapped her arms around you, pulling you to lift you up. You never realized just how strong Shauna really was. Or maybe it was just the adrenaline. âHey, we need to get you first. Iâll come back for Van okay? I promiseâ.Â
You groaned at the pain of being lifted from your seat. Shaunaâs arms were tight around you, your head falling to her shoulder. The next few minutes, maybe longer, are fuzzy. You remember Shauna eventually setting you down outside. The bright sunlight making you squeeze your eyes shut.
âShauna what the hell are you doing?â Jackie asked incredulously.Â
âVan is still inside! I said Iâd go backâ is all Shauna said before she was running back into the plane.Â
âDamnit Shipmanâ
You must have nodded off. Because the next thing you remember is Misty Quigley pressing something against your head. You groaned at the contact.Â
âGet away from herâ Jackie hissed out. It was odd hearing Jackie be protective of you.
âJack, sheâs trying to helpâ. Shauna defending Quigley. What a day.Â
You manage to open your eyes. You try to look around, still dazed.Â
âHeyâŚâ Jackie starts. âYouâre alright. Just try not to move a lot yet. You hit your head. And Misty thinks you have some broken ribsâ.Â
You blink a few times, trying to take in what Jackie said. Then you remember. Your eyes snap to Shauna.Â
âVan..?â You mumble uncertainlyÂ
Shauna glances down before looking back at you. âI went back. She was stuck. I tried to get her out, but Ja-â Shauna stopped herself from what she was about to say. âIâm sorry Y/N, I donât know if she got out. Weâve been here with you since then...â she deflects sadly.Â
You would later learn that Van did get out. You also learned what Shauna had stopped herself from saying earlier. That Jackie had pulled her off the plane before she was able to get Van out. It was a miracle Van made it, she had the scorch marks to prove it. But you think about how Shauna went back in for her. How she got you off the plane. Your mind wanders to Jackie being okay with letting your friend burn. You canât help but wonder if you would have been left to the same fate if Shauna werenât there. You try to shake the thought out of your head. Jackie was your girlfriend. Your girlfriend that you loved.Â
You would learn that a plane crash changes people. That it turns people you love into something you donât recognize. Or maybe, it just shows who people have really been all along. You would learn that help wasnât coming. You were stuck here. In the wilderness.
Chapter 2
Hope this first chapter was enjoyed! This is my first series, expect many more chapters to come. Excited to see how it plays out...stay tuned!
Unbalanced Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
đGrumpy vampire! reader x shiny werewolf! Alysa
fluff, sometimes angst, mention of age difference, mention of blood and murders
⢠She crashes into your cave / apartment like a tornado, and you don't even look up from your book. "Aren't you scared I'll hit a wall one day?" she asks, shaking herself off. "I hope so," you reply, turning the page.
⢠She always smells like forest, wet fur, and something warm. You smell like blood, old paper, and cold. She regularly sniffs your neck and says: "You smell like death, but in a good way." You don't know what that means. Neither does she.
⢠You can't sleep next to her during a full moon â she transforms and races around the room trying to catch her own tail. You sit in the corner on top of the closet and watch. "You could help," she whines from below. "I could," you agree. You don't move.
⢠She brings you gifts. Dead birds, live mice, shiny wrappers, gnawed bones. You stare at them without expression. "That's... nice," you say. Her tail wags so hard she almost knocks over a lamp.
⢠Cuddling her is like cuddling a furnace. She's hot, heavy, and she drools in her sleep constantly. You allow it for exactly ten minutes. Then you move away. She moves back. It's war.
⢠She adores children. Stops on the street to pet strangers' kids, plays tag with the neighbor's toddlers (and always loses because she can't run fast â they're too small). You stand off to the side pretending to be disgusted. "You're mean," she says afterward. "I know," you reply.
⢠You can't be near children. They're loud, they smell strange, and they have too many questions. "Why is your skin so pale? Why don't you go outside in the sun? Why don't you eat our food?" You hide behind Alysa. Alysa distracts them by showing off her ears and telling stupid stories. You hate how good she is at it.
⢠She tries to drag you into her pack. "They're nice," she says. "They won't try to kill you. I asked." You raise an eyebrow. "You asked a pack of werewolves if they want to kill a vampire?" "I asked politely."
⢠When you're hungry, she brings you a deer. Alive, antlers tangled in bushes, eyes wide. "Go on," she says, nudging the prey toward you. You stare at her. "Are you serious?" "What? I don't know where to get people. You said people are complicated."
⢠You move silently. She stomps so hard the walls shake. You enter a room â no one notices. She enters â everyone jumps. "Maybe learn to walk quieter?" you ask. "Maybe learn to walk louder?" she shoots back. You can't. She can't. It works.
⢠She breathes. Constantly. Loudly, frequently, with a whistle. You cover her mouth with your hand in movie theaters. She licks your palm. You pull your hand away. She does it again. You stopped going to movies.
⢠She doesn't understand why you don't eat normal food. "Have you even tried pizza?" "I'm allergic to garlic." "What about cheese?" "No." "Tomatoes?" "Also no." "So what's the problem?" "I drink blood, Alysa." "So? You can have both."
⢠You sleep in a coffin. A real one. With velvet lining. The first time she saw it, she squealed. "That's so romantic! I want one too!" "You won't fit." "Make it bigger! We'll sleep together!" You didn't make it bigger. She climbed in anyway. Cramped. Hot. You hate it. You can't sleep anywhere else anymore.
⢠She howls at the moon. Not because she has to â because she likes it. You stand nearby, hands in your pockets, waiting for her to finish. Sometimes, when no one is watching, you howl back. Softer. Lower. She turns and looks at you with shining eyes. "I heard that." "You imagined it."
⢠You can't have children. It never bothered you. Alysa adores kids, and someone once asked her if she wanted her own. "We can't," she said, flicking her tail. "But we have our gross little yard with a hammock, and her, and me. That's enough." You turned away so she wouldn't see your face.
⢠She protects you from other werewolves. Stands in front of you, growls, shows her teeth. You could protect yourself â you're older, stronger, colder. But you let her. She likes feeling needed. You like the way she looks when she's angry.
⢠When she's mad at you, she doesn't talk. Just sits, turned away, scratching her ear. You sit next to her. The silence drags on. Then she sighs, turns, and bumps her nose against your cheek. "You're annoying." "You too." "Truce?" "Truce."
⢠You can fly. Turn into a bat, fold your wings, drop through the darkness. She tried to copy you. She managed to jump off a roof â and land hard. "You don't have wings," you said, looking down at her. "I thought wanting it badly enough would work," she answered from the puddle.
⢠She loves touching your fangs. With her fingers, her tongue, sometimes her lips. "Sharp," she says. "I could hurt you," you answer. "You won't," she says. And you haven't. Not once.
⢠You never say "I love you." Instead, you leave your blood in a bowl on the table when you go away. She comes home hungry, finds the bowl, licks it clean. Then she finds a note: "don't die without me." She keeps them in a shoebox.
⢠She introduces you to other werewolves, even though you asked her not to. They're huge, loud, smell like dog. You sit silently, not drinking, not eating. "She's cool," Alysa tells her friends. "She just needs time." You didn't ask for time. But you wait. For her.
⢠You were used to loneliness. Hundreds of years of silence, darkness, no attachments. Then Alysa appeared â and the silence ended. She's everywhere: in your coffin, in your fridge (food you don't eat), in your schedule ("we're going for a walk on Saturday, I already planned everything"). You hate it. You can't imagine life without it.
⢠When you're angry at the world, you hide in the dark. Climb onto a closet, into the basement, up to the attic. She always finds you. Not with her nose â with her instinct, yes. But not hunting prey. Hunting you. "There you are," she says, poking her head in. "Go away." "No." And she climbs inside. Cramped. Dark. She puts her head in your lap and falls asleep.
⢠You still don't know why you stayed. Why you didn't leave, disappear, do what you always did â cut the connection. Alysa asked once: "What am I to you?" You were silent for a long time. "A pet," you said. She got offended. You didn't explain. You meant: the only living creature you step into the light for.
⢠She brings you stray kittens she finds on the street. Small, blind, squeaking. "You're a bat, they're basically like mice," she says. "I thought you'd be lonely." You look at the kittens. The kittens look at you. You close the box and take it back. "Don't." But you kept one. It sleeps on your neck. You named it Dog.
⢠She killed someone who tried to hurt you. You found out the next day when you saw blood under her nails. "I didn't ask for that," you said. "I know," she answered. "I could have handled it myself." "I know." And she fell silent. You never spoke of it again. But you've slept a little easier since then.
⢠You don't believe in forever. You've seen too many deaths. Alysa believes. "We'll run together," she says, "even when you get old and I go gray." You don't age. She does. You don't tell her that. You let her believe.
⢠You love her. It's disgusting, inconvenient, and completely against your nature. You are cold, silence, solitude. She is warmth, noise, a pack. You weren't supposed to work. But you sleep in one coffin (cramped, hot), drink blood from the same mug (she doesn't drink but asks you to pour some â "for company"), and when she laughs, you feel something inside you thaw. Something that was frozen for hundreds of years.
"Not in a million years would anyone imagine that the female hockey team's star player would actually be a softie. But Alysa knew better."
warning - masc!reader, i'm in love w Alysa, so i decided to write about :), idk nothing about hockey :/ (i'm a fighter btw)
now playing - Mutt, by Leon Thomas
"Said i'll put my guard down for you, said i'll be vulnerable. So you can break my heart if you want to"
The rink was on fire, which was ironic because everything there was ice. The crowd was screaming wildly, almost as if you and your team were in a life-or-death battle. People jumped, screamed, and kicked with every little move the US hockey team made, and you couldn't deny that in a way you liked feeling the heat of the crowd with you during the games.
The crowd went wild when your stick hit the puck, sending it straight into the goal and driving the crowd crazy. The whistle blew and the game was finally over. The gold is yours. You didn't care much for the celebrations or the shouting, there was only one smile there that you really cared about. In the VIP area, very close to where the game was taking place, was the only person who could make you feel something in the midst of all those people.
Alysa smiled as if she already knew you had the game in your hands, it was almost as if she was sure that the others would have no chance against you and your team. Your eyes darted toward the crowd, locating the girl with colorful hair as if she were the only person there, as if someone were shining a whole spotlight on her.
You smiled under your helmet.
People didn't usually see this side of you, this side that seemed to be completely reserved for your girlfriend. The girls on your team knew you had a soft spot for the figure skater, but seeing you all silly over a five-foot girl was just funny. Alysa was the only person who could pull you out of your tough guy shell and put you on a cloud of love and softness.
Then that cloud dissipated like cotton candy in water. The moment you felt the aggressive touch on your shoulder, your eyes strayed from the angel with colorful hair. The rival team's jersey was all you saw in front of you, and then it was as if ink had stained your eyes, and all you saw was red.
âYou know, you may be able to score goals, but maybe your girlfriend will change her mind about you when she sees who you really are.â You never cared about your opponents' taunts. But when they used Alysa, everything was different. âYou know I've always had a thing for weird girls...â
You didn't even wait for the girl to finish, your hands pushed her chest hard, making her stagger before being caught by one of her teammates. Blinded by rage, you threw your helmet away, grabbed the girl by the collar of her shirt, oblivious to the gasps of surprise and indignation coming from the audience.
âSay that again!â Your hands tightened their grip on the fabric. âGO AHEAD, SAY THAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU!â The smile on the girl's face made your anger rise, and for a moment, you thought a bloody nose would be just the thing to wipe that smirk off her face.
Fortunately, the team arrived in time. You didn't even see it, but your teammates grabbed you and used all their strength to keep you from breaking free and killing the girl right there. The screams from the audience didn't reach your ears, nor did the shouts from your coach or the pleas for calm from your teammates.
You don't even remember getting to the locker room, you don't remember picking up the gold medal, you don't remember how you left the arena, you don't even remember if you left that girl scared or not, but you remembered her words.
âMaybe she'll change her mind when she sees who you really are!â
The words echoed in your head and the conversation of your teammates seemed like just background noise. Your hands ran through your wet hair, and your nerves were on edge. You weren't exactly the easiest person in the world, and you knew it. But with Alysa, things were always different.
âKnock knock.â The sound of knocks on the door mingled with the voice you loved so much.
The girl entered silently, hands behind her back, posture slightly relaxed, but still stiff enough for you to know that she wasn't exactly happy with what had happened earlier. The girlsâpolite as alwaysâgreeted her with high fives, pats on the back, and a few congratulations for the gold medal she herself had won.
You were still staring at the floor, too embarrassed to face your girlfriend at that moment. Unfortunately, you knew you wouldn't get away that easily when you saw her approaching. The slightly worn shoes she wore appeared in your field of vision, and you finally stopped staring at the floor as if it were the coolest and most interesting thing in the world.
âSo... are you going to tell me what happened or...?â Her voice echoed through the space, all your teammates stopping talking the moment Alysa opened her mouth to address you.
It was as if everyone there was waiting for a big reaction, no one allowed themselves to breathe properly, no one seemed ready for the explosion that was about to come, and you swore you saw someone hide slightly out of the corner of your eye.
âShe provoked me.â It was the only thing you dared to say.
âAnd then you went after her? Wow, how mature!â Alysa's voice was low, controlled. And you knew exactly what that meant.
Your eyebrows furrowed, and someone in the locker room sighed.
âAlysa...â You tried.
âNo. You know how I feel about this!â She stood her ground.
You got up from the bench.
âYou don't know what she said to me!â Your voice was firm, and you swore you saw half of your teammates flinch slightly.
Now standing, you towered over your girlfriend, your body so large that you could have covered her entirely in an embrace without the slightest effort. Your broad shoulders bumped her nose, your muscles tense and flexed, as you looked down at her like a puppy looks at an ant.
All it took was one look into her eyes.
You faltered without even realizing it. Your eyes averted from hers, you looked at the floor while your teammates stared at each other and wondered why you hadn't yet thrown the bench you were previously sitting on against the wall.
âSit down.â Your girlfriend's firm voice made you obey her like a trained puppy, and all the girls on the team looked mortified that someone had managed to put you in your place.
âYou know I'm right.â She started again. âI don't know what she said, but whatever it was, I'm here for you. You could have put the whole team at risk, you could have put yourself at risk. Did you think about that? Huh?â
You shook your head, staring at the floor as you reflected on what your girlfriend was saying.
âI know, but she was talking about you... I just couldn't let her talk about you like that!â Your voice was calm, gentle in a way your teammates had never heard before.
Alysa's hands lifted your chin, making you look into her eyes. Those same eyes that always made you realize how lucky you were to have a woman like her in your life.
âThanks for defending me, babe. But next time, I'd rather you didn't fall for the provocations of a girl who's literally furious because she just lost the fucking Olympics.â She laughed, and you laughed with her.
âI'm sorry.â You smiled, and then quickly stopped smiling when you heard a chorus of sighs from the girls watching from the stands as your girlfriend lectured you. âOh, shut up, you idiots!â
Alysa laughed, and so did they.
âI didn't know you had a soft side, captain!â One of the girls fired back.
You raised your middle finger, taking advantage of the moment and making the gesture to all the other girls who were teasing you.
âDamn, captain, she's got you on a leash.â You sighed.
âFuck you!â You said with conviction, and then held your breath when your girlfriend moved even closer.
Tucking her hands into your hair and pulling your head to her chest, Alysa smiled and giggled smugly.
âNo, they're right. I've got you on a leash.â She smiled again, more strongly.
You rolled your eyes. But you knew it would always be like this. Because you would never, ever dare to contradict the love of your life.
Hey everyone, just a little something for Alysa because I've been kind of amazed by her since the Olympics!
I wrote this during my lunch break, so I'm not sure if it's any good. Anyway, I hope you like it. I know I'm not really active, but life has been crazy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
đđ˘đĄđ§đđĄđ§ ⤠eighteen plus, minors dni. content warning: wc 2,2k, â x female reader, childhood friends to lovers trope, bit of angst, love confession, fluff, kissing, making out, figure skater! reader, ,
đĄđ˘đ§đ ââ WHEW, okay this is not that long (it felt super long while i was writing it) and hopefully i caught the vision hehe. never wrote childhood friends to lovers so i tried to yk focus on some of the most important moments but also mentioning some of the smaller ones that could be interesting... i hope you guys enjoy this chopped try of mine- reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!!! <3
how many years has it been now?
no one was sure, not even your parents, at what age alysa and you met, because the whole story revolved around her dragging you onto the ice with her like a puppy who refused to walk on a leash.
alysa was gliding around on the ice, already a pro even as a child, constantly asking the coach and her parents why isn't that girl- she pointed to you on the boards- skating? whatever was said to her, in one ear then out the other, running to where you sat, she squints before jumping onto the wall of the rink.
"aren't you gonna come on in?" she asks, basically screaming and she huffs even louder when you shake your head. do i have to do everything myself? she thought as she stormed off the ice, then took you by the hand and hauled you back with her.
"come with me." alysa says and before you even have time to protest, you are on the ice, sliding after her. "i'm gonna fall!" you cry, but she doesn't let up, pulling you by the arms after herself like a sled.
"just copy me, i'm a pro, trust me."
it was hard to avoid the proximity after that, your parents becoming friends, realising she lived just down the street, same schools, same schedule- same everything that kept you on the shared trajectory.
the small world of being kids together- fighting over who can wind the swing the highest, who got the last strawberry popsicle at the ice cream cart. helping each other learn how to ride a bike, picking up skating together, falling into the opposite habits that were like the negative and positive poles of a magnet. sleepovers with stolen makeup from one or the other's mom's vanity table, watching barbie movies, wishing to be princesses together in a shared queendom.
everything was so simple through the eyes of your friendship, as it was still in its infancy, like a flower in early spring, trying to bloom before the frost went away.
then... by the end of middle school, it felt like the two of you were just competing against one another.
there were good times too, sure, but the constant fights, shooting each other disdainful looks from one end of the rink to the other, always trying to one-up the other, hangouts getting shorter before they stopped completely. skating seized to be a shared hobby and just became this thing that ruined your united path to glory.
"i'm quitting," you announced to her after a late practice, basically cornering her in the empty lockers as she was unlacing her skates.
alysa's eyes shot up from the ground, blinking once, then twice, before her whole face softened from the surprise. "that's good... not a lot of people can give up so determinedly." she snorts before her attention is back on her skates.
"i'm giving up on skating because i wanna be your friend, not your rival." you step closer as your words tumble out, throwing your things on the floor carelessly and sitting down on the bench opposite her.
you can see her hesitate as she thinks, actually looking at you without any spite, pointing between the two of you. "after all this?" she asks.
you nodded, a little awkwardly, because admitting it out loud was harder than you imagined, harder than just blurting everything out in the heat of the moment. she pushed herself back, leaning against the wall, her eyes scanning the ceiling- was she scared to admit it to your face? yes, she was.
"alright... we are getting a reboot then."
then high school rolled around faster than anticipated.
everybody kept saying that it changes people, but neither of you believed these 'rumours'. not until the way you looked at girls changed, but it wasn't a phase or anything to overthink- you simply liked girls.
nothing between alysa and you changed- she hugged you, asked if you had a crush on someone, told you that she actually started dating that guy she liked from chemistry.
"if i was interested in girls like that, i'd totally have a crush on you." she laughed as she embraced you again in a tight hug. you laughed with her, still overflowing with a bit too much adrenaline, shaking from the nerves because if you had to like someone, it was her.
you were sure it was her.
it was just before the beijing olympic games when the breaking point came. you remember this exactly because alysa was crying on your shoulder about the boy she was seeing at the time, going off and off about how he was the biggest jerk of all time and you... you were perfect because you were her other half.
it felt like a lifetime to your souls, like they have always flown close by as comets, as stars who never concerned themselves with the heat of your cores burning everything in their paths.
life as you knew it was attached to one another from before the beginning, and both of you agreed on this undeniable fact.
you were destined, made for each other.
she didn't mean it in the way you did, of course, she didn't. it broke your heart a little, but you made peace with it because you simply had to. you rather have alysa as your friend than nothing at all. not that you had any time to pickle in your sorrow because she was retiring from skating after beijing to spend more time living.
that included you more than anything, how could it not- stupid question.
the 2022 winter olympics came and went- the two of you called each and every night, alysa showed you around the olympic village, you filmed yourself watching her performance live, and you never missed one second of it. she showed you all the cool snacks and trinkets she gathered, put on a fashion show with the team sweaters, and you helped her with homework, even if it was the dead of night for you.
you met her at the arrivals gate later that month, and she cried for almost the whole day. she was leaving skating behind, she cried because she was finally free of the stress and the unwanted commitment of the sport- the two of you were free together.
two years passed and you made up for all the years you missed of each other in middle school when you were too busy crossing horns over who was the best. choosing colleges was right around the corner, and both of you knew where you wanted to go pretty early on- alysa picked ucla and you reached for the stars by going abroad to a fancy european university.
and this day?
this day was supposed to be the last day in the next four years that you see each other in person.
it's funny because both of you started rambling about how important it would be if you guys could talk face-to-face for one last time.
somehow alysa convinced you to meet at your old ice rink, something about how you should put a pause on everything at the place where it all began. you laughed a bit because it didn't make sense at all, but of course, you said yes.
returning to the ice wasn't as horrible as you imagined it to be.
when you quit, you deleted everything that reminded you of skating- gave away your skates, donated your dresses, medals and thropies ended up in a well-hidden cardboard box in the attic. you did everything to erase this part of you.
everything came back like a flood- the moves, the spins, the techniques. your heart was tearing at the seams as you laughed, overwhelming happiness bursting through you as you tried to run through your old routines. you fall, you laugh, then you stand up to continue with the biggest smile on your face.
the biggest grin alysa has ever seen you wear and it looked mesmerising on you.
her face contours too, the ends of her lips curving up and creasing, sighing with a face stretching, burning with joy, because she is finally ready to say it. "i think i finally figured out when i fell in love with you."
you freeze and almost fall over.
what?
"it was when i was in beijing- we kept facetiming, texting, and i... i realised in the middle of the night when i rolled over how i wished you were there with me because everything would be easier. it wasn't even because i wanted to compete with you i just wanted you to be there." alysa laughs as she recites the memory so casually, spinning in place before hugging herself. the cold air catching in her throat as the spin slows, her blades whispering against the ice until they come to a quiet stop.
she barely notices that you came to a halt, eyes slipping apart like a fish's eyes, brain working overtime as you try to keep yourself up and comprehend what she said.
"i just... wanted to tell you since you're leaving for college." she almost whispers, leaning back against the boards, the bottom half of her face hiding behind her scarf, hands in her pockets, her eyes firmly set on yours.
you don't answer her.
not right away, anyway.
the lights buzz around the two of you, enveloping the two of you in a soft glow as you just stand there, staring at one another, waiting for the needle to drop and break the silence.
but it doesn't and you donât realize you have started moving until your blades scrape forward, landing right next to her, leaning against the boards, eyes still caught in hers.
"when you dragged me onto the ice."
"what about it?" she asks a little confused, blinking at you, tilting her head.
"way back when we first started skating together- i think that's when i... fell in love with you." you sigh, your shoulders dropping as you are finally able to say the words. "of course i didn't understand the feeling then, not until high school anyway." you explained, your hand gesturing aguely between the two of you, as if you could map years of enmeshed history in the air.
"and i'm not leaving... i'm staying." finally you tear your gaze away from her, and then sheâs suddenly on you. fast, without notice, a rush of motion that makes your heart stutter. one second sheâs standing there, poised and tauntingly calm, and the next her hands are at your shoulders, pulling you close, lips crashing against yours like sheâs been holding back for years and canât wait another second. itâs hurried, almost frantic, like the world is collapsing around you both and sheâs bent upon carving this moment into eternity before it slips away.
your knees get weak. her hands get tangled in your hair as her warmth crushes on you. the kiss is intense and sudden, nearly messy, but it's real- painfully, blindingly real.
when she finally pulls back, just a fraction, her forehead touching yours. her breath is ragged, eyes wide and unguarded. "good, 'cuz i don't think i could do this long distance."
"this?!" you almost scream before her hand clasps over your mouth, shutting you up.
"i'm asking you on a date, dumbass." she laughs.
"weird way of doing it, tho i'm not complaining." you say, muffled by her palm as you shrug and she giggles, letting her hand fall to your hip. her grin is ear to ear, much like yours when one of your hands moves to cup her cheek. your fingers linger against the side of her face, tracing the line of her jaw, memorizing it. her pulse thrums under your touch, a rapid, insistent beat that mirrors your own.
she leans in slightly, almost imperceptibly, and your lips twitch at the corner of hers, hovering, testing, desperate to bridge the space between 'almost' and 'finally'.
her hands rest lightly on your waist, steadying, guiding, and it feels like an invitation. you tilt your head, slowly, giving her the chance to pull away if she wants- but she doesnât.
she doesnât even flinch.
instead, her eyelashes brush your cheek as she leans the tiniest bit closer, and your heart threatens to explode with the anticipation.
then, finally, you close the gap.
your lips meet hers in a tentative, gentle press at first, a whisper of a kiss that tastes of everything youâve held in for years. itâs soft, exploratory, a careful question that demands an answer. her eyes flutter shut, and her grip tightens just slightly around your hips, answering in kind.
it hits both of you at the same time that this wasn't a new feeling at all- that the way she circled you with her heavy gravitational pull as if she were a black hole, trying to consume the fever of your supernova about to burst for years, and you let her without ever being afraid of everything ending.
how many years has it been now?
who cared, she was finally yours and you were hers.
Summary: After using her safeword, Alysa comforts her gf.
warnings: none
ââââââââââââââââââââââââThe word slips out quietly.
âWatermelon.â
Everything stops.
Alysa freezes for half a second before immediately pulling back, like the word itself rewired her instincts. Her head lifts, eyes searching yours, all the intensity from moments before goneâreplaced with something soft, something careful.
âHey⌠hey,â she murmurs, voice gentler than youâve ever heard it. âIâve got you.â
Her hand moves to your cheek without hesitation, thumb brushing lightly across your skin like sheâs grounding both of you at once.
âIâm sorry,â you say quickly, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. âI didnât mean toâI justâI didnât want to ruin it.â
Her expression shifts instantly, concern taking over.
âRuin it?â she repeats, almost incredulous. âYou didnât ruin anything.â
She shifts so sheâs fully beside you now, not above you, not overwhelmingâjust there. Equal. Safe.
âUsing the safeword isnât ruining anything,â she says softly. âItâs you trusting me. Thatâs⌠thatâs the opposite of ruining it.â
You hesitate, eyes dropping. âI just feel bad.â
Alysa gently tilts your chin back up so you have to look at her.
âDonât,â she says, firm but still warm.
She exhales, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
âIâm really sorry if I got too rough. That wasnât my intention.â
The sincerity in her voice settles something in your chest.
âItâs okay,â you whisper.
She studies you for a second longer, like sheâs making sure you actually mean it, then leans in just enough for her forehead to rest against yours.
âYou matter more than anything,â she says quietly. âNothingânothingâis more important than you feeling safe with me. Not anything.â
Her hand finds yours, fingers lacing together, grounding and steady.
You squeeze back.
The silence that follows isnât awkward. Itâs calm.
She presses a soft kiss to your templeâlight, careful, like sheâs asking permission even now.
She shifts just enough to pull the blanket up around you both, tucking it gently over your shoulder like sheâs done it a hundred times before. Every movement is slower now, deliberateâlike sheâs thinking about you in every small decision.
Her arm wraps around your waist, not tight, just thereâsteady and grounding. Her other hand finds yours again, fingers slipping between yours like itâs instinct.
âYou warm enough?â she asks softly.
You nod against her shoulder, but she still rubs her hand up and down your arm anyway, creating a quiet warmth that has nothing to do with the blanket.
For a moment, neither of you says anything.
Itâs quiet in that comfortable way, where the silence isnât emptyâitâs full. Full of breath, of presence, of the way her thumb keeps tracing little absent-minded patterns against your skin.
âI really am sorry,â she murmurs after a bit, her voice almost lost in the stillness. âI shouldâve checked in sooner.â
You shift slightly so you can look up at her. âYou stopped right away.â
âBecause you trusted me to,â she says. âThat matters.â
Her gaze softens even more, if thatâs possible, and she brushes her fingers lightly along your jaw, like sheâs memorizing the feeling.
Your hand tightens in hers, and she responds immediately, squeezing backâjust enough to say Iâm here without words.
After a second, she leans in, pressing a slow, gentle kiss to your forehead. Then another, softer one near your temple. Nothing rushed, nothing overwhelmingâjust soft, reassuring contact.
âBetter?â she asks.
âA lot,â you say.
She smiles at that, a small, relieved curve of her lips, and shifts so youâre tucked more securely against her. One of her legs hooks loosely over yours, anchoring you there without trapping you.
Her hand moves to your hair, fingers threading through it carefully, like sheâs double-checking that even this is okay. When you donât pull away, she keeps goingâslow, rhythmic, soothing.
âYou can tell me if you want more space,â she murmurs.
âI donât,â you say quickly, then softer, âI like this.â
âOkay,â she replies, almost like sheâs making a note of it, committing it to memory.
Her breathing evens out, and after a minute you realize sheâs syncing it with yoursâsubtly, but intentionallyâlike sheâs trying to help you settle fully.
âYou feel okay?â she asks again, quieter now.
You take a second to actually check in with yourself this time. The earlier tension is gone, replaced by warmth and the steady feeling of her beside you.
âYeah,â you say. âI do.â
âGood.â Her thumb brushes over your knuckles again. âYou deserve to.â
Another pause, softer this time.
You tilt your head slightly, pressing a small kiss against her collarbone, and she stills for a secondâlike sheâs surprisedâbefore relaxing into it.
âHey,â she whispers, a hint of a smile in her voice.
âHi,â you mumble back.
She laughs quietly under her breath, the sound warm and light, and presses her cheek against the top of your head.
âNext time,â she says gently, âIâll check in more. And slower, okay?â
âOkay.â
âAnd you keep telling me what you need.â
âI will.â
âPromise?â
You nod against her. âPromise.â
She presses another soft kiss to your hair, lingering this time.
âGood,â she whispers.
Her hand never stops movingâstill tracing slow, comforting patterns along your arm, your back, your handâlike sheâs reminding you, over and over again, that sheâs here.
That sheâs listening.
That youâre safe.
And eventually, without even realizing when it happens, your body relaxes completely into hersâevery bit of tension melting away as she holds you just a little closer.
âI love you.â
Itâs not dramatic. Not heavy.
Just certain.
You shift just enough to nuzzle closer into her, your answer soft and a little mumbled, but real.
âI love you too.â
Her hold tightens just a fractionânot enough to wake you, just enough to keep you there.
To keep you safe.
Her chin rests lightly against the top of your head as she exhales, slow and content, her body fully relaxed now that yours is too.
The first thing people noticed about Alysa Liu was how effortlessly cool she looked.
The second thing they noticed⌠was you.
Because standing next to her in a frilly pastel skirt, glossy lip balm, and a tote bag covered in tiny bows and charmsâyou looked like youâd stepped out of a completely different universe.
âWaitâstand right there,â you said, grabbing Alysaâs sleeve as she tried to keep walking down the street.
She raised an eyebrow. âWhy?â
âBecause the lighting is cute and you look⌠like, extra cool right now.â
âI always look cool,â she shot back, but she still stopped.
You grinned, already pulling out your phone. âYeah, yeah, ego queen. Just lean a littleâno, not like that, you look like youâre about to fight someone.â
âI am always ready to fight someone.â
You giggled. âThatâs the problem!â
She tried not to smile, but failed. You snapped the photo right as her lips twitched.
âGot it,â you said proudly.
Alysa leaned over your shoulder. âLet me see.â
You turned the screen toward herâand yeah, it was kind of perfect. She was all dark hoodie, messy hair, hands shoved in pockets⌠and next to her you were basically sunshine in human form.
âWow,â she said. âWe look like a âbefore and afterâ of the same person.â
âRude,â you gasped. âIâm clearly the after.â
She laughedâactually laughedâand nudged your shoulder.
âso apparently Alysa Liu has a girlfriend?? đgf(?) and theyâre literally the definition of opposites đ one looks like she listens to indie rock and the other looks like she owns 500 lip glosses⌠theyâre so cute tho???â
user1:Â THIS IS SO CUTE WHAT đ
user2:Â awwweee so sweet, iâm unwell
user3:Â âcoffee + strawberry milkâ IM CRYING
user4:Â she def lets her pick out her outfits sometimes idc
user5:Â yeah sheâs in LOVE
user6:Â i need what they have immediately
user7:Â đ girl won fr
(tutor!alysa liu x student!athlete!reader oneshot)
ask: would you be down to do a smutshot of alysa as student athlete readerâs tutor because reader starts to fall behind, putting their athletics on the line until they fix their grades. Alysa ends up having the hots for her because she isnât like every other cocky and disrespectful athlete that essentially just used her lessons to get their coaches off their ass but actually respected her and also turned out to have all these little nerdy interests (that she could maybe find out about when she goes over to readerâs house for their first session). So everytime alysa goes to their house for a session, she shamelessly flirts with them (theyâre completely oblivious at first) until alysa is fed up and just tells her straight up what she wants then reader obviously gives in! sorry for that long ass description, I damn near wrote the whole oneshot myself đ but yea itâs essentially just tears by sabrina! thank you smđ˝
author's note: hiiii! genuinely love how much detail you put into this, anon, thank you!!! here you go and i hope you like ittttt! reqs are open!
masterlist || wattpad || tiktok
1:29 PM
"Okay," Scooching her chair further in, Alysa tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "So what are our goals for this?"
Slouched in your chair across the table from her, you grumble, wanting to be anywhere but here. "Not failing?" You shrug. Honestly, you didn't even want to do this whole fucking tutor thing, but the coach made you. You're failing Calculus, a mandatory class to pass and to play hockey, so here you are.
"Well, yes⌠but what do you want to accomplish in the class. Any personal goals? Like learning something specific?" You can obviously tell she's agitated from the way her mouth draws into a straight line and how it takes her a second to answer. You definitely hadn't made a good first impression.
You study her face for a moment, thinking over her first question for you. None of your other tutors had ever cared about your personal goals, now that you think about it. Honestly, none of your other tutors had even cared about you passing; they were just worried about community service credit. You can tell this one's different; she cares. Sitting up a little straighter in your seat, you lean forward on the table, deciding to give her a chance. "Um, yeah," One of her eyebrows shoots up, and she honestly looks surprised or interested, you can't decide. "I feel like I definitely want to improve division skills in general and obviously circles."
She's staring by the time you're finished and quickly realizes it. Pulling out a notebook, she writes these two points down, her face now red with⌠embarrassment? "Okay, okay, both of those are super reasonable," She nods. "And your TA gave me specific areas to study with you, so we can work on that today,"
"Great,"
"Perfect," She follows, pulling out her Mac and some papers that she slides across the table to me.
The rest of your first meeting consists of notes, review, and learning what you can improve on. Alysa says the next one will get more in-depth, you'll actually be learning something.
"That should be it for the day," She finishes, shoving her few belongings in her backpack before standing up.
"Is email okay for you orâŚ"
"Oh," She pulls her phone out of her back pocket. "Text, actually, do you mind?"
You shake your head. "No, not at all." Handing her your phone, you motion for her to put her phone number in.
6:10 PM
You: hey
You: it's me
You: just wondering if i have any hw??
You sit at your computer screen, staring at the messages you sent for what feels like hours until finally, the little cloud pops up. Why the fuck are you waiting for her to answer, you weirdo?
Alysa: No, you're fine.
Alysa: Sorry for the late reply, I was skating.
Not even caring if you look desperate, you reply almost immediately.
You: bro you skate????
Alysa: Haha yes
Alysa: I'm on the comp team.
You: no way that's so cool
You: i'll have to check it out sometime
(Alysa's POV kind of)
"Don't be too obvious, like she can't know I borderline stalked her last night," Alysa says in a whisper as she and her best friend, Cara, make their way down the stands of the ice rink.
"Isn't she supposed to like fuck around though? Callie told me she has like seven girlfriends at once."
Rolling her eyes, Alysa looks at Cara like she said the stupidest thing alive. "Okay, let's get serious here. She definitely doesn't have seven girlfriends, and she's nice! Like, she actually has manners,"
"Does she really?" Cocking an eyebrow, Cara points in the direction of you and a teammate trying to leapfrog on the ice.
Groaning, Alysa just looks away, pulling her best friend with her. "To me she does,"
"Sure,"
The arena starts to fill up around them as the start of the game gets closer, and honestly, it's pretty full for a Thursday night. Doing your laps, you pass by the stands, noticing a familiar face in the crowd. At first, you really don't think it's her, but then⌠the striped shirt gives her away. Slowing down, you stop in front of the glass, waving.
Her face turns bright red, and she looks like she literally wants to crawl out of her skin. So, of course, you start waving with both hands, and then when her friend nudges her to say something, and she actually waves back, you press yourself against the glass, smiling.
But the moment's cut short with one of your teammates coming up behind you, shoving you into the glass before skating off, your only option is to chase after them, leaving Alysa an absolute mess.
"She's definitely not that bad," Cara shrugs, smiling. "At least she's funny,"
Grumbling, Alysa tries to hide her smile. "Shut up,"
You: my place at 11??
Alysa: Sure. Make sure you have a computer charger. I left mine at my dorm.
You: gotchu girl
Alysa: Girl?
You: you don't like???
Alysa: No, no. See you then
Promptly at 11, Alysa's on the other side of your apartment door, ringing the doorbell. Honestly, she's been there for at least 5 minutes ringing it, but she's been incredibly unsuccessful in getting an answer.
Just when she's about to pull out her phone to call you, the door slams open, and there you are, standing there with wet-towel mussed hair and some sweats, and fuck, you look hot. Alysa's practically drooling as you lead her in, the scent of you freshly showered driving her insane.
"We can work at the table," You point towards the kitchen where your tutor sets her stuff down.
"Now?" You ask as she already starts pulling stuff out.
"Yeah?" She looks confused. "I mean, when would we?"
"No, now's fine," You nod, turning towards your room. "I just gotta let my friend know that I can't make it to trivia night,"
You do trivia night?? For fun? Alysa can barely control herself right now. The person she thought you were is most definitely not the person in front of her right now.
"Okay,"
The rest of the session goes as any of yours would, but this time it feels a bit more personal, almost. At one point, she leans over your shoulder, pointing at something on the paper, but doesn't move back right away; she forgot she's still as close as she was. But, you do learn that she smells good, like super duper good, you could drink her perfume for water.
Things also loosen up between you. A couple of times, you happen to glance at your phone, waiting for a response from your friend, and of course, Alysa notices, but the first couple of times she doesn't say anything. It isn't until you actually pick it up, that she gets sort of fiesty. âIf you look at your phone again, Iâm taking it.â
Smiling, you drop it, putting your hands in the air like you were caught red-handed. "Whoa, okay, I'm done,"
"Good," And she goes back to showing you something on your paper. âYour handwriting is nice⌠for an athlete.â
"Geez, okay, now we're bullying me?"
ââŚthat sounded mean, sorry I didnât mean it like that-â
You giggle at the genuinely worried expression on her face. "No, no, you're fine,"
Slowly, you two warm up to each other, the tutoring sessions get easier and easier until you're honestly, full-on, shamelessly flirting with each other, neither of you wanting to admit to the other what's actually happening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're distracted, not really focusing, while Alysa sits across your kitchen counter from you, frustrated. She already was a little irritated over not being able to get through to you for weeks, both academically and⌠not. But this just adds to it all. She keeps repeating herself, and you're just not listening.
âOkay-no. Stop." She puts a hand out, taking the pencil away from you. "Youâre not even trying right now.â
You look up at her, startled. "Wha-"
âDo you even care? About this? About your grades?â The built-up tension wants to drop as she just falls apart in front of you.ââŚabout me being here?â She regrets that last part immediately, but doesnât take it back.
âI mean, yeah, youâre helping a lot. I appreciate it.â
Standing up, she runs a hand through her hair. You're just not getting it. She's flustered, but she's not holding back now; she's gone too far already.
âThatâs not- thatâs not what I mean.â Shaking her head, she paces, unable to look at you. âI donât come over here just because your coach asked me to. I mean, yeah, at first, but⌠I like being here.â Her voice gets softer, and she slows down. "I like you."
Because you're oblivious, she spells it out for you. âI like that you actually listen to me. I like that youâre not⌠like everyone else I tutor." She stops, turning towards you. "And I definitely donât flirt with all my students for the record,â
Sitting in your chair, you stare at her, dumbfounded. You liked her, but you certainly did not think that those feelings were reciprocated. But the silence is mistaken for rejection.
âGod, this is so embarrassing, sorry- just forget I said anything-â Flustered, she starts shoving all her stuff in the backpack she carries, her face beet red.
"Wait, no, oh my gosh, sorry," Standing up, you put a hand on hers, stopping her. "I like you too," Then you add, clarifying it for her. "Like more than as my tutor,"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
It doesnât feel like a small word. It's heavy; it sits between you. Neither of you moves.
Your hand is still on hers, and when Alysaâs eyes drop to it, you can see the way she swallows.
âYouâre⌠really distracting, you know that?â She says, quieter now, like sheâs unsure if it's really the best thing to say.
You tilt your head, a smile tugging at your mouth. âYouâve been doing fine so far.â
Her lips part, but she doesnât answer. Just looks at you like sheâs trying to figure out if you're real.
But you don't give her time to overthink it. Leaning in a little, Alysa notices immediately. Her shoulders tense for half a second as she might step back, but she doesnât.
âWeâre supposed to be studying,â She says, but it comes out weaker than before, her breath catching right at the end.
You let out a quiet huff of a laugh. âYouâre the one who said you like me.â
âGod,â she mutters under her breath, more to herself. âYouâre so-â
âSo what?â
Thereâs barely any space left between you.
Her back is bumping against the counter, and she still doesn't move away.
She looks up at you, her eyes a little wider now with something that looks a lot like anticipation.
âThis is a bad idea.â
Your thumb brushes over her knuckles, slowly and intentionally. âThen tell me to stop.â
Her eyes flick down to your mouth, then back up again.
She exhales, shakily. âYouâre not fair.â
Immediately, you decide this is your moment. You close the gap
The kiss starts slow, testing, but it snaps into something else almost immediately. Warmer, deeper, like all that tension finally has somewhere to go.
Alysa makes this quiet, surprised sound against your lips, like she didnât expect to react like that, and it goes straight to your head.
Your hand slides from hers to her waist, pulling her in just enough that thereâs no space left to pretend.
She lets you. She leans into it.
Her hand comes up, gripping lightly at your sleeve, then your wrist. Behind her, papers crumple slightly against the counter. Something tips, hitting the floor behind her, but neither of you cares.
When she finally pulls back, itâs barely an inch, her breath uneven, forehead almost touching yours.
âWeâre literally,â She stops to exhale. âIn the middle of a session.â
You glance down at the fallen papers, then back at her. âFeels like we moved on from that.â
Her laugh is soft, breathy, a little disbelieving. âYouâre unbelievable.â
âYou came over.â
That shuts her up for a second.
Her eyes narrow just slightly, challenging, not annoyed.
âOh, so this is my fault now?â
You shrug a little. âDidnât say that.â
âBut you meant it.â
âMaybe.â
Without warning, she grabs the front of your shirt and pulls you back in. This time the kiss isnât careful, but itâs still not rushed. Thereâs way less hesitation, more pressure, like sheâs done pretending she doesnât want this. Like sheâs been thinking about it longer than sheâs willing to admit. Your back hits the edge of the table this time, the roles shifting just enough to make your stomach flip.
âStill think Iâm distracting?â You murmur against her mouth.
âShut up,â She breathes, but sheâs smiling, just barely, before kissing you again.
After a second, she pulls back just enough to look at you, cheeks flushed, eyes a little unfocused now.
ââŚYouâre failing this session,â She says, trying to sound put together.
You grin. âWhatever,â
Alysa shakes her head, like sheâs losing an argument with herself. And when she leans in again, thereâs nothing hesitant about it anymore.
pairing: alysa liu x fem! figure skater! reader summary: you both at the olympics and you have crush on alysa (secretly) warnings: fluff | friends to lovers | slow burn (kind of) | jealousy | english not my native language, possibly spelling mistakes gif not mine | pics not mine a/n: happy national womenâs day ladies!! library
The Olympic Village was way louder than you expected.
Music blasted somewhere down the hallway, athletes laughed in a dozen languages, and the smell of cafeteria pasta drifted through the air.
You sat cross legged on Alysaâs bed while she paced around the room, still wearing her Team USA jacket.
âOkay but listenâ - Alysa said, waving her hands dramatically - âI swear the medal feels heavier every time I pick it up.â
You snorted. - âThatâs because you keep showing it to literally everyone.â
She turned and pointed the medal at you like evidence. - âExcuse me. If you won Olympic gold youâd do the same thing.â
Your heart did that annoying little flip it always did when she looked at you like that, grinning, hair messy, eyes bright with excitement. - âMaybeâ - you admitted.
Alysa dropped onto the bed beside you, shoulder bumping yours. The medal clinked against the zipper of her jacket.
âSeriously thoughâ - she said, softer now. - âIâm glad youâre here. The Olympics would be kinda boring without your skatingâ
You stared at the floor so she wouldnât see your face heat up.
If only she knew how much that sentence meant to you.
You had been crushing on Alysa for months, since training camp, maybe even earlier, but you kept it locked away like a secret routine you never showed anyone.
Alysa suddenly leaned over and nudged your arm.
âYouâre being weirdly quiet.â
âIâm thinking.â
âDangerousâ - she said immediately.
You laughed despite yourself.
Then she grabbed her medal again and held it up between you.
âOkay important questionâ - she said. âWhen weâre old and retired and telling people about the Olympics⌠do you think anyone will believe the amount of dumb stuff i did here?â - You laugh. - âOh, absolutely not.â
She grinned back at you. - âGoodâ - Alysa said. - âThat means weâll have to come back and make even better stories.â
⸝
The next morning the Olympic Village felt calmer.
Snow fell lightly outside the glass windows of the dining hall, and athletes shuffled in wearing puffy jackets and sleepy expressions.
You were halfway through a salad when someone dropped into the chair across from you.
âMorningâ - Alysa said.
Your brain immediately short circuited a little.
Her hair was still messy from sleep, and she had the gold medal hanging around her neck again like she refused to take it off.
âSeriously? Youâre wearing it to breakfast?â - you asked.
She sighed - âI earned it.â
You couldnât even argue with that.
Before you could say anything else, Isabeau slid into the seat next to you and glanced between the two of you with a suspicious grin.
âOhhhâ - she said really slowly. Alysa frowned. - âWhat?â
She pointed between you and Alysa. - âYou two are very obvious.â - Your stomach dropped.
âWhat?â - you said way too quickly. Isabeau leaned forward. - âThe way you look at her.â
Alysa blinked. - âWait, what?â- ânothing, sheâs just delusionalâ - you tried to cool it off.
âIâm just sayingâ - she added while walking away. - âif youâre gonna have a crush on an Olympic champion you should at least be subtle about it.â
Alysa turned toward you slowly. - âYou have a crush on an Olympic champion?â
You stared at your plate like it had suddenly become the most interesting object in the universe.
âOf course notâ - you muttered.
Alysa watched you for a second⌠then shrugged. - âOk. People say weird stuff.â
You exhaled quietly, relief mixing with disappointment.
⸝
Later that afternoon you and Alysa walked through the Olympic Village together.
She waved to basically everyone.
Snowboarders. Skiers. Speed skaters.
âDo you know literally every athlete here?â - you asked.
âIâm very likableâ - she said confidently.
You rolled your eyes.
Just then a tall skater from another country jogged up beside her.
âHey, Alysa! Amazing skate yesterday!â
Alysa lit up instantly. - âThanks!â
They started chatting excitedly about jumps and finals and training camps while you walked beside them quietly.
Then the other skater laughed and lightly bumped Alysaâs shoulder.
âSeriously though, we should hang out tonight. Some of us are going to a celebration thing.â
Alysa grinned. - âYeah, maybe!â
Something weird twisted in your chest. But you told yourself it was nothing.
But when the skater walk away, Alysa glanced at you. - âEverything fine?â - âYeah.â
âYou look like someone stole your medal.â - âtechnically you didâ - âbut Iâm fineâ - you insisted.
She studied you for another second, then suddenly stopped walking. - âugh, what?â - âYouâre jealous.â
You almost tripped.
âI am not.â
Her grin slowly grew.
âOh my god.â
âWhat??â
âYou are.â
You groaned and started walking again. âStop it.â
But Alysa jogged to catch up, walking backward in front of you.
âWait wait waitâ - she said. - âWho are you jealous of?â
âNo one.â
âIs it the snowboarder from yesterday?â
âNo.â
âThe speed skater?â
âNo!â
She stares at you like she was solving a puzzle.
âThen who-â
âCan we talk about literally anything else?â
She stopped walking. And you stopped too.
For a second neither of you said anything.
Snow drifted around between the Olympic dorm buildings.
Then Alysa spoke again, softer this time.
âIs it me?â
Your heart nearly stopped.
âWhat?â
âAre you jealousâ - she said slowly - âbecause people keep trying to steal your best friend?â
âYeahâŚâ - you admitted.
She smiled. The joking smile she used with everyone else.
âGoodâ - she said. You blinked. - âGood?â
She stepped a little closer.
âI was worried you didnât care.â
âI careâ - you said quickly.
Alysa tilted her head.
âHow much?â
The question hung in the air.
Your heart pounded so loudly you were sure she could hear it.
You were about to open your mouth-
But a group of athletes suddenly ran past yelling about some event happening in the main building.
Alysa laughed and stepped back.
âLetâs goâ - she said, grabbing your sleeve. - âWe should go see whatâs happening.â
⸝
You followed her toward the noise, heart still racing.
The celebration in the main building was loud music, athletes shouting, someone starting a chant in another language, but you slipped out after a while. It was too crowded, too loud, and your brain kept replaying the moment from earlier.
âHow much do you care?â
You leaned against the railing outside, watching the snow drift through the lights.
âHey.â
You didnât even need to turn around to recognize Alysaâs voice.
âYou run awayâ - she said, stepping beside you.
âJust needed air.â
She nodded, leaning next to you. For a minute neither of you spoke. The music thumped faintly through the walls behind you.
Then she held her medal up again, letting it swing slightly.
âYou knowâ - she said - âeveryone keeps asking what the best part of the Olympics was.â
You smiled a little. - âWinning gold?â
âOkay yeah thatâs second.â
You looked at her.
âWhatâs first then?â
She shrugged, but her voice was softer than usual.
âBeing here with you.â
âAlysa-â
âIâm seriousâ - she said quickly. - âEveryone thinks the medal is the big thing. But honestly? Half the time I was just excited to be with you on rink, see you skate.â
The snow crunched softly as she shifted closer.
âYou were there for everythingâ - she added. âTraining. Nerves. All of it.â
You swallowed.
âYou done the same things for me.â
âI didâ - she said. - âBut thatâs not what I mean.â
âAlysaâŚâ
She looked at you directly now.
âBefore we got hereâ - she said - âwhen I asked how much you care⌠you were going to say something.â
You start panic.
ââŚYeah.â
âYou donât have to say it if you donât want toâ - she said gently.
But somehow that made it harder not to.
You laughed quietly, shaking your head.
âThis is going to ruin everything.â
âWhy would it ruin anything?â
âBecauseâ - you said, voice barely above a whisper. - âyouâre my best friend. And if I tell you the truth and itâs weird then I lose that.â
Alysa frowned slightly.
âLose me? Thatâs not happening.â
You took a deep breath.
âI have a crush on you.â
The words fell into the cold air between you.
For a second Alysa just stared at you.
Your stomach dropped.
âSee?â - you said quickly. - âThatâs exactly the reaction I was worried about. We can just forget-â
Then she started laughing.
âAlysa?â - you said, confused.
She covered her face for a second.
âOh my god.â
âWhat?!â
âI thought you didnât like me.â
Your brain completely froze.
âWhat?âŚâ
She dropped her hands and looked at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
âIâve been trying to figure it out for months.â
âFigure what out?â
âIf you liked me.â
You blinked.
âWait.â
She grinned nervously.
âYeah. Wait.â
âYou⌠like me?â
Alysa rolled her eyes dramatically.
âYouâre the worst Sherlock ever.â
Your heart was racing so hard you thought you might actually pass out.
âSoâŚwhat does that mean?â - you asked.
She stepped a little closer.
Her colored hair glittered in the light.
âWell, It meansâ - she said - âmy Olympic gold medal is coolâŚâ
She reached down and gently took your hands.
ââŚbut this might actually be the best thing that happened here.â
âSoâ - she added with a small smile - âcan I kiss you now? Or do you need another twenty minutes to panic about it?â
âDefinitely panicking.â
âFair.â
But she didnât let go of your hands.
And a second later, when she leaned in and kissed you softly in the snow outside, you realized something.
Maybe the Olympics werenât the biggest moment of your life after all.
Š june-k 03.08.26 â do not translate or copy my work.