Urban Pixie Thoughts

Just a mess lost in the maze

[urbanpixiethoughts]

“Sorry, I’m busy” is like the worst motto ever. It weighs on your shoulder all the time.

Too busy to have a coffee with you.

Too busy to cook.

Too busy to go to a yoga class.

Too busy to stop for a moment and just chill.

Whenever someone asks me, “what’s up”, I without thinking reply, “not much, busy all the time”. And it does make me think that I’m so full of duties that I can’t stop and stare for a moment without worrying about getting late or running out of time.

Well, I am busy. I make my days to be so. But since I made this decision, I’ll stop acting like I’m the victim here. I’m not busy, I’m over productive 😀

[urbanpixiethoughts]

There are moments, when time stops existing.⁣

You forget about the past and can’t even think about the future. Time stands still, and the only thing that matters is that exact moment that you’re experiencing right now.⁣

Sometimes this is a book. Sometimes it’s having your morning coffee by yourself.

There are times when this means cuddling with someone you love, enjoying the moment, afraid to even take a deep breath cause you don’t wanna ruin it.⁣

And sometimes, when you’ve been going through a lot, you don’t have anyone to cuddle with, had enough of the busy rushing days and constant worrying about tomorrow, ⁣

that moment that it timeless, is a sunset over the river. And while the sun is slowly crawling under the water, getting ready for a beauty sleep and starting over everything the day after, you feel lighter.

Because He’s been doing it for thousands of years, and still does it so effortlessly every damn day, with peace, power and strength. And in that moment, He’s giving all that to you. You breathe it all in.⁣ Slowly, the moment is gone. It felt like an eternity to get here, but in a few seconds it’s over and it’s dark again. You feel time passing by again. The clock is ticking. But you’re not worrying anymore. After all, you just shared a few moments with the Sun himself and he gave such power to you till the next time you need him.

And guess what. He’ll be there. Waiting for you. And you’ll be there too. Because you need that silent, timeless moment that you secretly share from time to time by the riverbend. ⁣

[urbanpixiethoughts]

You ever look back and realise you let people do some terrible things to you, simply because you didn’t respect yourself enough to not let it happen? ⁣

You ever look back and realise, you’re hurt and broken inside, and you blame the people in your past, but actually you’re the one who let them break you?⁣

[urbanpixiethoughts]

On days like this, on weeks so busy, I often forget to live.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣ I drink my coffee, go to work, check Instagram, I cook dinner and prepare meals for the next days, go to dance rehearsal, I go home, take a shower, sleep... then repeat.⁣⁣⁣

I forget to appreciate the little things. That my coworkers notice my tired eyes and make a double espresso for me. That people compliment on my instastory and love seeing me dancing. My best friend who knows I’m barely existing, but sends me cute gifs to be strong. The little things.⁣⁣⁣

The few pages of the novel I read on the bus on my way to the office. The evening dance rehearsal that made me sweat like hell but also made me feel better. The hot shower in the evening that made me feel like superwoman once again. The little things.⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣

On days like this, I wanna hide in a place, where you can’t find me. Just for a day, just for a few hours, to reconnect again with our Mother. And then, fully charged, continue the cycle. ⁣

[urbanpixiethoughts]

A place for my mind to weep about everyday’s reality. Welcome. Don’t get lost.