I wanted this to be under a read more, but that wouldn't work and what's the point in waiting? Now, everyone here is quality and awesome… but I’m just so incredibly tired. So this post, 73 away from 8,000, will be my last. I love everyone I follow and everyone that follows me. But sometimes I feel like I’m just an annoyance to most people and I wanted to make friends through Tumblr.
I’ve made friends who I love dearly, but out of about 400 followers and those I follow, only ten really speak to me and most of them have ways of contacting me outside Tumblr. That number would have been eleven, but one of the people I thought I’d made friends with here, she doesn’t talk to me anymore and I don’t even know why.
It’s a constant reminder of how I feel in the real world: Unable to make connections or keep them. If the internet is supposed to be my safe haven, the place people understand me and a place where I can make friends. This may sound whiny, but I’ve gone through a lot of shit in which my friends leave me, or people just don't want to talk to me and I thought I'd unfortunately be used to it, but I'm not. So I think I am allowed to have my issues with trust, abandonment and feeling like the world is out to get me.
Anyway, I doubt anyone outside of those ten will even read this, to be honest. So at least you lot will know. If anyone needs to find me Cait Barth on Facebook or [email protected]. Who knows, I may find myself with another Tumblr some day, but at least then I can start fresh and do whatever it is I did wrong here, better there.
See you later, Space Cowboys Me
