Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition

Mostly random, with a lot of unfucking. Other things include (but are not limited to): depression, anxiety, fat, feminism, social justice issues, fluffy animals, and fandoms.

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On Life Mottos.

If my grandmother were to have had a Life Motto, it would have been something like 

"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all."

In which "right" meant "her way or the highway".

Or maybe "if you're going to do a half-assed job, then don't even bother."

I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I heard some variation of those two while I was growing up.  To paraphrase a tumblr friend, perfectionism is a hell of a drug.

But I?  I have come to the conclusion that no matter how bad part of my brain thinks it is, "half-assed is better than no-assed" IS a good Life Motto.

Because half-assed IS better than no-assed.

Something IS better than nothing.

And I refuse to let that part of my grandmother that lives in my brain to make me feel ashamed because I didn't do something absolutely pristinely perfect the first time around.  I'm human, not a fucking Rosie-bot.

It's taken me nearly 40 years to figure that out.  Man, parents really fuck you up sometimes.

I can only hope I don't pass along the same fucked-up-ness to my kids.  (I've probably fucked them up regardless, but can it at least be a different fucked up?  Please, universe?  Thanks.)

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Fall Garden Unfucking

Starting Point:

I've come to the realization this is going to be something I have to do at least twice a year, unless I can figure out a way to stop the weeds from coming back (and somehow I doubt that).  Part of the problem, as you can see below, is that along the fence, the weeds are actually coming from both sides.  And not only do I not have control over what goes on next door, but nobody does, as the house has been empty since I moved in.

I posted closer-up shots of the Invasion of the Weeds here.  Up above is just a general overview of what I started out with.  Not terrible, but if I didn't do something, it could get that way.

I couldn't tell you how much time I actually spent working.  I did it in spurts, largely because it involved a lot of bending and sweeping and my back doesn't like that very much.

But after day 1, in which I spent at least 2 hours outside (even if I wasn't actively working the whole 2 hours), I had this:

No, the bin doesn't live there but I left it there for the time being.

I'm trying the boiling water method of killing the weeds.  Obviously it's too early to know whether it's been any help or not, but I figured it was the simplest, cheapest, and quickest (since I can boil nearly 2 liters of water in my kettle in like 2 minutes) method to start with.

Aaaand this is what I have after day 2:

Tidy garden, complete with garden gnomecat.

The bins have been sent to their usual homes.

It may be green and mossy, but it's weed-free (at least for the moment) and swept!  (I even moved all of my plant pots to sweep and hot-water the areas behind and under them.)

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That second suggestion....

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Ok, so remember how just a few months ago I got rid of all the weeds in the back garden?

Yeah... need to do it again.  :-/

(For the record, I've already started.  I used up the last of my weed killer on some of what's pictured above, but it takes a good few days to completely kill the stuff.  I need to either get more or make my own.  I'm about to research home grown type stuff now and see if it's feasible.  I wanna get it done ASAP because the weather could turn to shit any day now and then I won't want to be out there at all!)

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Troll- Shane Koyczan

[voxapocrypha-deactivated2018080]

I’m Beautiful by Artbymoga

[naamahdarling]

I’ve been on a huge “FUCK OFF I’M AWESOME!” kick lately, and sometimes I still feel a gross little frisson of shame because I was told so often as a child that I shouldn’t think so highly of myself.

So I repeat it.  Louder.  To anyone who will listen.  Because fuck that noise.

I’m awesome.

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I think part of the problem is that we (as a society) equate "I'm beautiful" with "I'm the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth and everyone else who has ever existed are/have been monstrous freaks."  And "I'm awesome" with "I'm the most awesomest ever and the rest of y'all are just plebes."

And well... it's totally not the same thing.

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My priestbaby Chlecasy, getting Ogre cuddles.  ;)

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It's absolutely amazing the difference one tiny thing can make.

It doesn't look much different, granted.  But by moving that not-even-working-anyway vent hood out of my way, that kitchen FEELS so much bigger.

Probably because it won't be in my face every time I try to cook something.  :P

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I swear to god, every time I leave the house I come home with another dog story.

Today it was a chihuahua that nearly got crushed underneath my boot-wearing feet because he was so excited to be let down to run that he was just going all over the place (AND wriggled out of his collar).

("I love dogs" aura.  Seriously.  Gotta be.)

[acemvlder]

i would give my left kidney for asexual taystee jefferson.

she’s an extrovert who cares more about her family in all its forms than she is in dating.

none of her flashbacks or current prison drama revolve around fucking.

when poussey kisses her she says she’s “not like that” but cuddling is fine and she obviously enjoys that - why is everyone assuming she means she’s straight?

when she yells at p in the library she never says the issue is that she liked her, it’s that she liked her “like that” and “wanted her to take off her clothes and shit” - those are not the words of someone uncomfortable with a lesbian. those are the words of someone uncomfortable with sex.

she jokes about sex but it’s /always/ a joke. “a nubian king with a nubian thing”? come on. she uses it like a punchline. she uses it like an ace.

can you imagine? if any show were to have some ace representation, i could see it being orange is the new black. and can you imagine it being TAYSTEE? the fan favorite, loud and happy and dancing - sings like an angel, stings like a bee - can you imagine? taystee saying, “no, i’m asexual. not like a fucking plant, like a person. i just don’t like it.” can you IMAGINE? allosexual people being forced to see an ace character who wasn’t a novelty or a joke or treated like it was a disorder? can you imagine allosexual people actually /hearing/ the word asexual on one of the most popular tv shows that exists right now? can you even imagine?

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Tattoo time is drawing nearer!  My tin is about 3/4 full now.  I'm excited/curious to see how much I've actually managed to save up this way.  If it's any decent amount of money, I may go this route again for other stuff.

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Life lesson learned: just because something seems like a better deal on the surface doesn't mean it's worth it.

Ok, so that poundstretcher at the local retail park?  Their "gimmick," for lack of a better term, is that they're also a big pet supply place.  And to be fair, they do have quite a large selection of pet stuff.  

Their store brand cat litter, for example, was only £1 for twice the amount of the generic brand that I often buy for the same price.  So... same amount of money but twice the amount?  Yes please.

Only no.

Because once I got this stuff home and C1 did the litter boxes (it was her turn), we realized that it wasn't kitty litter so much as kitty powder.  I mean like... the consistency of baking soda.

IT'S GETTING EVERYWHERE.

I've had to clean the counters like 10 times a day since I got this stuff (because even if I wouldn't allow the cats on the counters when I'm in there, I can't very well prevent them when I'm not even in the room).

For the price, I don't regret trying the stuff out, but I am never, ever buying it again.

Ever.

(And I'm about to go change it as soon as I hit the post button.)

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BIG BIG BIG props and a gazillion thank yous to zandalan, who once again proved why I consider him to be my best friend.

I seriously thought my computer had metaphorically blown up in my face.  I got some errors and then it just went blank, and successive restart attempts kept getting stuck on the motherboard's startup screen.

I'm proud to say, I didn't actually panic at all this time.  I was gutted, and actually had to fight tears, but there was no huge meltdown.  I did notice the anxiety shoot up; I'm still shaking a bit.  But no ugly crying total freakout panic like I've done so many times before.

But thanks to zandalan, we figured out what the problem was, and it turned out to be fairly simple (faulty usb hub).

Dude, seriously, we need to meet in person so I can at least begin to give you all the hugs I owe you. 

*insert the Weasley twins singing "Victor I love you / Victor I do...." here*

<3

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Remember how I said I hoped these new shoes would last as long as the old ones?

ROFLHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... yeahno.

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Quest Complete!

Get dressed and walk to the store: (1/1)

Buy replacement shower head: (1/1)

Remove old, leaky shower head: (1/1)

(If you look real close you can actually see the leak.)

Attach new, shiny shower head: (1/1)

Test shower head to make sure it works: (1/1)

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

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Today's Adventure:

Don't Lose Your (Shower) Head

Objectives: Go to Poundstretcher and buy that replacement shower head you saw there last weekend.  Bring it home and attempt to replace the current, leaking like a second faucet, piece of shit with the new one.  

Additional Objectives: take pictures, so that afterwards you can be your usual dorky self with tumblr.

Requirements: £2.99, getting dressed and actually walking down to Pallion Retail Park.

Rewards: 50 Life After B XP

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15 years