who: amelia bones ( @vainglcry )
where: edgarโs house.
Edgar would never be certain how someone so important to him, could also feel like a stranger.ย Amelia was not just family. She was his best friend, his confidant, the person he knew he could always count on. Her stubbornness, heโd always believed, was a strength. An indestructible dam in the face of a mighty flood. While they werenโt always on the same page, Edgar always felt as though she would be there for him; understood him. He often let his emotions wash over him; Amelia was the one who kept him from ruining himself. His dam.ย
These days, he wasnโt certain if he and his sister would ever find their footing again; if that normalcy, that current, would ever return. Heโd suggested family dinner, half expecting her to turn him down, and yet they sat, eyes trained on their food. He couldnโt even try niceties, not with Amelia. Sheโd see right through any ruse he was trying to pull, right through any fake attempt to get them back in step.
Still, as he pushed rice around on his plate, he looked up at her words falling from his lips and breaking the silence before he could stop himself.ย โI donโt think Iโve said congratulations for all the work youโre doing at the Ministry.โ And he wasย proud of her, despite it all; despite the fact that he couldnโt really believe that she was sticking around. Sheโd always had the idea that changing the world meant following the rules, the law. Somehow, Edgar had fallen on the opposite side of that coin, but it hadnโt meant either was wrong. Until now, he supposed. Until war was involved.ย
โI know itโs notโฆ Well, I canโt imagine itโs easy. If you wanted toโฆโ He waved his fork in the air, waiting for her to finish that sentence. A large part of him just wanted to scream at her to get out, but that sort of command always had the opposite effect. If anyone could doย it, create a neutral section of the Ministry, it was his sister. But with Death Eaters crawling the place, with Order members getting exposed every day, he worried. Not just about her, but about what heย might do to her.
Edgar stared at her expectantly, not sure how to voice any of his concerns without asking her to take a step back from what she believed in. What happened if someone found out he was an Order member? What happened if they found out his sisterโs life was more important to him than his own? What then? What now?ย
The problem with loving someone, Amelia had always thought, was how completely it opened you up to weakness. Vulnerability was something sheโd trained out of herself, something sheโd crushed beneath her heel; even as a child sheโd been so self-contained. So protected. And yet--and yet. Sometimes, she could convince herself that it didnโt count, loving Edgar. He was an extension of her, part of her very soul; the only person she could rely upon without feeling as if she was walking on a tightrope.
Sometimes--but not all the time. Not when the very foundation upon which she'd built her adult life (staked her career, her reputation, on!) had shifted from solid ground to a raging river beneath her feet. No, now there was no room for weakness, not anymore. And yet, she'd still accepted his invitation to dinner. It wouldn't happen again.
Every muscle in her body seemed to freeze with Edgar's words, a full fork left hovering just above her plate. "Thank you," she replied, her voice so cool and professional that she almost wanted to cringe. And the very worst part of it was that even still, she trusted his words, trusted his judgment. Everything he said, everything he did, came from a place of love, and didn't that just make the whole damn thing into some cruel joke. The world fell more and more to pieces with each passing day, and a part of her yearned to get her big brother's advice because it was the only thing in this world she could rely on to be true. And here he was--offering her comfort and praise and the chance to put down her heavy load, all in a neat little package.
If anyone knew just how off-kilter she was feeling, it would be Edgar or--well, Edgar was the only one of them who mattered. "--talk? What would there be to talk about? This is what I signed up for." The brisk, clipped words are out of her mouth before Amelia can even process them. Shrugging off the doubt, the questions, had always been second nature to her even before it'd become a necessity. While it may work for anyone at the Ministry who grew a bit too nosy, she knew there was a crazed tint to her eyes, knew Edgar would catch it.
Amelia's cool expression faltered as she met her brother's eyes. All this hard work, all these years and years of working so damn hard to make the world a better place, to stop this war in its tracks--just for everything she'd ever believed in to be called into question. Amelia was falling apart at the seams, but she'd be damned if anyone saw. "What could I talk to you about, anyways? Any detail I let slip might end up used in this damn war I'm trying to end." Her words cut through the air like knives, but she wasn't sure just which of them they were meant to wound.