N * C E

" i found the most ( delicate ) girl, who steals looks when she thinks i don’t notice. and, ( O H ), she’s going to ruin me. she really is. i already KNOW it. "

[gamerspirit]

She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed you to suffer for it.

Charles Bukowski, Factotum (via gamerspirit)

[rumineely]

[mrnicegxy-deactivated20161116]

[dissolvinggg]

[valcncias]

nikolai & valencia

            ‘ i’ve never been in love – not once. ’ valencia’s eyes darted from her glass in hand, to the boy sitting adjacent to her. her sorrow lied at the bottom of her whiskey as she finished drink number four, she concluded the sip with a nod to the bartender. nikolai sat with patient eyes as she spoke, valencia was never one to open up, but this had become a ritual between the two. they weren’t close friends, but they had a connection. something valecia’s life was missing at any given stage after her father passed. they bonded over certain details of pain and love that were hard for others to comprehend, and it always started with a drink. ‘ you see, i’m not sure i want to be in love. it’s something i’ve seen my whole life, but do i want to get my hands on it? do i trust someone not to destroy me? ’ her eyes glazed with regret, nikolai took another sip of his vodka tonic before speaking up. ‘ what is love but to trust someone with that power? ’ he spoke gracefully, with muse, leaving valencia without the proper words to respond. that’s what she adored about him most, his ability to leave her speechless in times like these. ‘ i guess i wouldn’t know. it’s a pain i’m not willing to endure – for anyone. ’ she was most raw in these moments, the only time she allowed another to see who she truly was. nothing held her back. nikolai laughed at her statement, ‘ oh valencia, once you taste love for the first time, you won’t be able to stop what’s coming. ’ he paused before meeting her gaze, ‘ its a beautiful cascade of coincidences, and you won’t be able to control whether it happens or not. ’

             the words echoed in her head like a drum, pounding with every syllable. it had been two weeks since nikolai’s death and the memories hadn’t stop flooding her mind. he was wise, wiser than she could ever imagine, had answers to questions that seemed impossible to solve. he was much more than just a drinking partner, but her drunk confident, a shoulder she could trust. one of the only people she confided in at ioa. their relationship was short lived, but intense. he saw past her facade, he looked into her eyes and saw the real girl who hid behind wine colored lips. the girl behind the coquettish nature, behind the perceptive habits. her saw valencia for who she was, and nothing less.

            she never understood why such valued people left her life so quickly, a lesson she learned after actually falling in love – and again in this moment. she could count on one hand the people she genuinely cared for, and three out of the four were no longer in her life. her father; the first connection she ever felt, had been ripped form her life nine years ago. her first girlfriend; the only love she ever felt, it was pure and it terrified her. turns out nikolai had been right about love, his ideals seemed childish to her, but now she wishes she could go back and tell him how right he was. and lastly, nikolai; her truest friend at ioa, someone she even loved in a sense. he brought such light to her life, such relief, in so many forms. she even dares to think he made her want to be a better person.

[basicheadache]

[dailytelevision]

[sophie-baek]

[theliteraryjournals]

She refused to be bored, chiefly because she wasn’t boring.

Zelda Fitzgerald, Save Me The Waltz (via wordsnquotes)

[valcncias]

valencia blanca — personality traits 

+ alluring & persuasive 

her tongue is sharp and strategic, valencia has a way of instantly turning the cards in her favor. it’s really in her voice, the soft seduction that lies beneath her words. it’s mesmerizing, almost like a sirens songs. she uses her charm to get what she wants, and rarely takes no for an answer. she loves the thrill of power and uses her persuasive nature to keep it in her reach. 

+ motivated & ingenious 

valencia does everything for a reason, her mind works strategically and in sync with the rest of her plans. she does not work hard and play harder, but rather just work hard and have fun doing it. she loves a challenge, taking them on willingly and with grace. she is smarter than she lets on, and does everything with an idea of how it will better he future. even though she may play dumb at times, be assured she knows exactly what she’s doing. 

- manipulative & provocative 

she does not always realize she’s being this way, but most of her actions are with intent. her manipulative nature is genetic and not control, more just a piece of her personality that she embraces. she is sly and compelling, never leaving room for question. as for coquettish nature, it is a more controlled aspect of her personality. valencia uses her looks to her advantage, of course, and also has fun along the way. she knows what she looks like and thrives off of it. it fuels her ego tremendously. 

- arrogant & materialistic 

valencia works hard to make sure she gets what she wants and enjoys it. she loves the finer things in life, foreign cars and designer bags, $40 tubes of lipstick. it’s all validation for her. she was raised in an upper middle class family that was more than comfortable, so this has always been her life. she loves herself when she looks her best, and to her that is what money looks like. she is not afraid to relish over herself and drown in luxury, she see’s life as too short to not enjoy it. 

[valcncias]

the morning after

              the light shining through the blinds danced across valencia’s face, illuminating dark eyelashes that laid upon a rested cheek. her eyes fluttered open, taking in white sheets and beige walls that were her current surroundings. a room that was immediately unfamiliar. a body lay next to her, still peaceful, with messy raven hair and angelically sharp features. her heart rate picked up as she realized she only had a diminutive amount of time to grab her things and leave, the only downside to sleeping over at a strangers apartment -- the morning after. a field valencia was exceptional in avoiding. 

          the memories of the night prior came flooding back in waves, a moment she quite enjoyed just after waking up. she met this raven haired boy in a bar somewhere she can not recall, making him fall for her eyes before he took her to bed. a trick she uses often in her escapades. that’s how she gets them hooked. then hours upon hours are spent rolling around in sheets she does not call her own, laughter and a facade of connection are left there. a stench of what could of been lingers on the pillow case she leaves behind, placing a note with only the words ‘ see ya next time ’ scrawled on the card stock. she kisses the paper with freshly applied cherry lips, leaving her signature. 

             this is how she likes to leave all her victims, a lust for a more, a want of the unreachable. she holds all the power between her perfectly manicured finger tips. valencia gathers her black dress off the floor, slipping it over her body, before rounding up the rest of her belongings. quietly making her way through the spacious apartment, she siltently shuts the front door behind her. a devilish grin paints her features as she proudly strides towards her car, leaving another night for the books, and another lover to wonder where they went wrong. 

[valcncias]

VALENCIA BLANCA  — social media

don’t call me baby

[valcncias]

VALENCIA BLANCA  — aesthetic 

the smell of fresh roses, lipstick stains on cigarette buds, chanel no. 5, convincing eyes, deep red lipstick, carefully placed bruises on the nape of a neck, red wine, late nights in cold october air

[vanish]

[lifeinpoetry]

i was a darkness in his bed sunless & shining like oil

– Safia Elhillo  (via pairedaeza)

[charlemaegne]

[sheholdsyoucaptivated]