i've loved and i've lost.

something will go her eventualyly

[iagopaurito]

“You look a little out of place and a little lost. Do you have a specific destination in mind, or am I right to assume?”

[valcntinaguerra]

“I’m not...lost. I just needed to get some air. I’m fine, actually.”

[iagopaurito]

“I highly doubt you have anything to offer me, but thank you regardless. Can I help you?”

[valcntinaguerra]

Valentina crossed her arms over her chest, holding her glare. “What could you possibly help me with?”

[herocapon]

“I was just going to say hi, but is something wrong?”

[valcntinaguerra]

“No -- I...Nothing’s wrong. I’m okay.” She forced a small smile, trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince Hero. “Sorry for snapping at you. I’ve just been feeling a little bit off lately.”

[fairestjuliet-blog]

“Actually, Val, you can. You see, I’ve been looking for the lost member of my girl gang, and I was wondering if you’d seen her? She’s pretty tall, has this gorgeous long hair, is the sweetest thing alive…I don’t know how much longer I can go without her.”

[valcntinaguerra]

“I think she’s on a little vacation right now, Jules." Valentina frowned. “I’m sorry. I’m just really wound up right now and I don’t know why.”

[hermiacaro-blog]

“No, sorry, I just wanted to tell you that your top is cute.”

[valcntinaguerra]

“Oh,” her brow furrowed as she looked down at her shirt. “Grazie.”

[benedickwindsor-blog]

“…Nope. I was definitely talking to myself like a crazy person again. Sorry about that – I forget other people are, like… Around.”

[valcntinaguerra]

“Maybe you should see a doctor about that.”

[valcntinaguerra]

“Can I help you?”

[bxsilio]

“Nasty fall, clumsy me.” 

[valcntinaguerra]

“No kidding,” she frowned, looking him up and down. “Do you need help cleaning up?”

[transgressionhq]

slippery slope valentina + octavia

In hindsight, the whole thing was pretty goddamn stupid. Venturing onto a frozen lake? Without anyone else around to seemingly save her from her icy death? Yeah. Goddamn stupid. But it was like they always said - hindsight was twenty-twenty.

Octavia remembers how it happened, walking through the quiet streets of Verona, and catching sight of a icy frozen lake, noticing just how gorgeous it looked, nestled amongst the snow. She remembers venturing closer, deciding that because it looked pretty well frozen over, it should be able to hold her weight. Besides, she wasn’t a big girl - so she was certain that the ice would be able to hold her petite body. A black leather doc set atop the ice, the frozen lake seemingly holding her upright, before her other foot followed in front of her - and then within seconds, everything changed.

A loud, resounding crack echoed, and Octavia screamed, loosing her balance on the slippery ice. She flailed around, going body first into the icy water. It was a shock to her system, just how cold it was, and it almost hindered her ability to tread water, or swim to the edge and pull herself out. Her teeth chattered, her lips turned blue and her normally dark, chocolate coloured skin began to take on a wintery-complexion.

“H-h-help!” She exclaimed, her body beginning to shut down. This couldn’t be how she went out - she was a goddamn combat pilot. She’d been decorated, survived a plane crash, being kidnapped by the goddamn enemy - and yet a cracked frozen lake was her downfall. All she could do at this point was hope someone heard her. Or saw her once she’d succumbed to the hypothermia.

[valcntinaguerra]

Classes weren’t cancelled. How? Valentina had no clue, but she sure as hell managed to get herself together and out the door faster than she had ever accomplished in any previous occasion. It wasn’t long before her little Fiat was speeding down the road, winding and turning and just generally rushing to get to her destination before she missed something important.

Everything was going well, or so she thought, until she reached a familiar bend around the lake. A place that, weather permitting, she’s normally add to her jogging route on her days off. If she hadn’t caught sight of the movement out of her peripheral vision, she would have never known Octavia had fallen through the ice. She didn’t hear the crack the surface made as it gave way under the other girl’s weight, but Valentine knew that something had been there a moment before and then it was gone. She pulled over to the side of the road and quickly ran to the edge of the body of water, now able to see Octavia clearly struggling as the cold water started to engulf her.

Panic started to set in, her anxiety spiking. Valentine knew she was the only person around to help, but how in the world could she manage to do that without falling into the lake herself. “Hold on!” She yelped. As if she has anything else she could do. Just don’t think about it, Valentina. She tensed up before hesitantly stepping out onto the ice towards Octavia, one foot at a time, ready to flee if the ice gave way under her too. “I’m coming!”

[kxtherina-deactivated20160314]

“You know what? I’ll have to sleep on it, but your number should be sufficient for now.” 

[valcntinaguerra]

“Will you get in trouble if you give me your phone to enter my number or should I take yours and text you?”

[bxsilio]

“No- I’m fine, there’s no need to call an ambulance.” 

[valcntinaguerra]

"What happened to you, Bas?”

[thegreatbenholio]

“No, I’m not.” He felt a short burst of relief in his chest for finally being able to say it to someone without it being scrutinized or dismissed, but it didnt change anything. “But this is me trying to be an adult. I don’t get to be happy all of the time, but I’m okay.” He let the words sit on his tongue as he wondered if that was even true. He didn’t want to think about the future, or how is was making him feel, and Val’s far too honest eyes were probing into him in ways that he didn’t understand, but it made him uncomfortable to the point of looking away. “Look, it’s not something that I think we should talk about anymore. My job’s my job and it is what it is.” Case closed. Or so he hoped.

[valcntinaguerra]

“Okay.” The reply was quick, forced even, but she gave Ben the answer he wanted despite every fiber in her screaming to keep fighting him on the topic. She knew it wasn’t her place and that anything she said most likely wouldn’t matter in the end, but it felt wrong to just leave it alone. Valentina forced a smile and shook her head. “Forget I even mentioned it. It was...silly. The suit looks good on you. You’ll be fine tomorrow. Just come get me if you need more help with your tie.”

[pervicaciovs]

“Okay, good,” she let out a strangled half-laugh, “I don’t think I could ever be related to a vegetarian in good conscience. I’d have to disown you.” It was a horrible joke, considering their parents had all but done just that to her. They hadn’t spoken to her since the last incident, the specifics of which she had refused to tell her little sister, even today, and so the idea of being disowned was not one which was too far from her realm of knowledge. “Well, uh, here we are,” she gestured to a hand-painted sign in a shop window across the narrow street, “Time to get your sugar fix, birthday girl.”

[valcntinaguerra]

Valentina was shocked by the joke of disowning; she would have assumed that was a touchy subject for her sister. She wanted to say something...to let Luca know that she at least understood why she left. She wanted her sister to know that she left too once she got the chance...that she was beginning to see what living that way had done to her; to both of them, probably. Valentina forced a small smile, her thoughts now running wild. “After you,” she replied, gesturing to the door.

[valcntinaguerra]

[thegreatbenholio]

To place blame on a cousin who had done nothing but love him would be the biggest betrayal that Romeo could think of, so him lips remained closed. But he would live in these city walls forever if it meant that Romeo was safe and looked after. They were a pair, insperable though they pursued different paths. “I don’t- it’s not- Everything I have, everything I am is here.” Was that satisfactory enough? Not to anyone that knew him a lick. But sacrifices were asked of everyone at some point in their life, and if Benvolio’s only sacrifice was that he remained in a furnished house making copious amounts of money then perhaps he should be grateful instead of feeling like he was constantly trying to escape a cage. “It’s not about intelligence, Val. It’s about upholding family loyalty and doing your part. I’m doing mine, just as Romeo will do his and our fathers did theirs.” The refute was hesitating on his lips, and badly wanted to be spoken but, like so many times before, Benvolio folded those thoughts and stuck them far in the recesses of his mind. 

[valcntinaguerra]

“But you aren’t happy, Ben.” She hoped that the words came out gently; that they weren’t accusatory or harsh or anything that she hadn’t intended because at the end of the day, there was no denying that as jumbled as her feelings had been for him and as unsure of just about everything there was between them half of the time (friendship or not), Valentina desperately wanted for him to simply be happy. She wanted it whether it meant he would leave Verona or stay; whether it allowed her to be near him for as long as she could be or never get to see him again. She truly, genuinely wanted him to be happy and she hated knowing that he was trapped in what others had already decided for his life. “You’re right. It isn’t about intelligence,” she shrugged. “But it isn’t about well-rehearsed replies and lies and convincing yourself that this is what’s right for you either. My point wasn’t that you’re to smart to be doing this...it was that you’re wasting everything you have to offer to the world.”

[pervicaciovs]

MOODBOARD :: LUCREZIA + VALENTINA 

“I wanted to tell her that I loved her, and not in the complicated way I loved our parents, but in a simple way I never had to think about. I loved her like breathing.” 

@valcntinaguerra

[thegreatbenholio]

“But business? It’s not exactly the red carpet.” Was he even qualified to make that distinction? He didn’t think so considering his experience inside a conference room was zero to none. He was walking in with a degree stating that he knew how to accomplish things and shaking hands that would never cooperate. Ben had never really thought about what he would do if he wasn’t doing this- he didn’t see much point in breaking his own heart that way. If he were to find a passion in art, or music, or even something as commonplace as teaching, and not be able to follow it, it would kill him. He’d forced himself to love his practical traits- learning language, comprehending contracts, protecting his cousin and best friend. The anything else was something that Ben never allowed himself to peer into- nothing good was waiting for him there. “I suppose, but it’s not really my choice now is it?” He smiled, though he could feel the brittle edges of his lips and the fact that his eyes stayed the same. 

[valcntinaguerra]

Her attention had shifted completely from the ties at that point. Val frowned, uncrossing her arms and moving her hands to play with a few strands of her hair, twisting and wrapping them around her fingers nervously. "Why not?” You know why, Valentina. Stop causing trouble. She couldn’t help it, though. It was obvious to anybody who cared enough that Ben wouldn’t be happy; not living the sham of a life that had already been planned out for him. “You could leave. If anybody could get out of here; it’s you.” And she believed that, every word of it. “Ben, you’re so smart...we both know that. You could do anything and they’ll have you running this shit show for the rest of your life. They don’t care.”