run from me

familiarity breeds contempt Valentina Abernathy | 26 | Assassin "She was afraid to love something she might hurt. You were so perfect, she didn't want to ruin you by passing on to you the things she didn't like about herself." “It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream." ― Edgar Allan Poe

[rachelberkley-blog]

Second Encounter || Valentina & Rachel

[rachelberkley-blog]

“Don’t blame yourself. It’s a big place to live in all by yourself.” Rachel replied absent-mindedly while the main part of her was still focused on finding the device before they ended up as piles of ash and bones. It didn’t register with her that Valentina’s sharp mind mixed with a healthy dose of professional paranoia would be able to read more into the passing comment. The blonde shouldn’t be aware of the other woman’s current living conditions. “Not much. Just that it’s a bomb and that it’ll go boom.”

Rachel paused and considered with her own track-record of getting people to abandon their own thick-headedness: It wasn’t a good one. If Valentina really wanted to stay and help her it would waste valuable to time that neither of them had. This left her with the only viable option in this moment. She followed her friend into the bedroom which looked… different from the rest of the house. It didn’t seem to suit Valentina and her character. Instincts told her that a lot of the things inside hadn’t been bought by the brunette.

Her eyes glanced away from the cluttered room – which had far too many places where a bomb could be hidden – and tried for the first time since her entry to really gauge the other woman’s current state. Part of her mind kept the clock running, the count going down with every second she wasted. Rachel couldn’t help herself. Her gut told her that something was off. Then her eyes wandered past Val when they spotted a familiar red line that peeked out of the closet. It was barely visible at all but her heart started beating fast as she stepped towards the object with careful steps. She knelt in front of the half-opened closet and carefully removed a blanket from on top of a carton.

“Shit.”

[valentinaabernathy]

Lost in her mind, Valentina nodded at Rachels remark. It really was. At first it had made her kind of anxious as she had never had so much space and she’d been paranoid about the foreign noises and sights around the house, but now she really know every corner and could navigate through it blind and deaf. The thoughts of losing all this after she’d lost everything else - it clouded her mind so much that she didn’t think more into Rachels words. Spinning around in her head were the usual forms a bomb would come in, but heaven knew what those all could be. It could be anywhere.

The brunette had always had a stubborn mind. If she didn’t, she would probably be dead by now. It made her go on for whatever reason she could convince herself of; it made her fight for what was hers, no matter what the consequences. With every thing that happened, with everything she lost, what was left grew more and more important, like all the little things she kept in her bedroom. It felt like she wasn’t as alone as she really was when she tried sleeping at night, and sometimes it even felt like Maya was going to walk through the door soon. These things were sacred to her, and with every move she now made, she tried to block out the fact that she shared all these things with someone from the moment they’d walked in. Rachel was probably reading her, right? She could see that she was beyond breaking point. She could tell—

When she heard Rachel speak, Valentina stopped in her movements and turned to the blonde. Careful steps took her over to her, totally blanking out what was in that closet, eyes fixed on the bomb Rachel knelt in front of. If she saw one of those and cursed, it had to indicate the worst. 

[rachelberkley-blog]

“Pancakes. Beautiful, perfect pancakes. Mostly at least.”

“Not me either. I went last week. Isn’t it a bit early for that?

[valentinaabernathy]

“Oh. Right. I didn’t know you made them. They’re more perfect than anything I’ve ever tried to make in the kitchen.”

“How about the doc? And no. You know what, I just saw my house burn down so I deserve a drink.”

[rachelberkley-blog]

“Who’s turn is it to get groceries? We’re out of flour again…”

[valentinaabernathy]

“What do you need so much flour for, anyway?”

“Well, it’s not me. I cleaned a toilet today.”

[rachelberkley-blog]

Second Encounter || Valentina & Rachel

[rachelberkley-blog]

Rachel paused for a moment, thinking that she had managed to make Valentina snap completely. After all a lot of things can happen in a year and she was fairly certain that the brunette had spent even less time with other people than she had. At least if she had to judge by the state of her house as she had observed it so far.

“I don’t mean to scare you but there’s a bomb in your home.” She kept moving into the kitchen and ruthlessly opened ever cupboard she found, looked under the sink and even in the fridge – nothing. “And I need to find it before it’s too late and disarm it.” It grew apparent to her then that the object of her desire wasn’t to be found in the kitchen either. She counted the time in her head that had passed since she got the tip from Miyako. It was too long.

“Ok let’s divide when we check upstairs.” Without waiting for more words of protest from her old friend, Rachel moved to walk upstairs. She was sure that she could feel the blood rushing in her ears. While she lived for the danger of close calls, the blonde wasn’t happy if someone else was with her in those moments.  She halted once on the top of the stairs. “Maybe you should get out while I check?”

[valentinaabernathy]

Valentinas confused and stressed facial expression slid away as soon as she heard the word ‘bomb’. She knew that explosives were Rachels expertise, so she wouldn’t have come rushing in like this if it wasn’t urgent. How could they have put a bomb into her house when she was on guard twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week waiting for an attack like this? As the younger woman ripped open her kitchen doors, it still felt like she was ripping the clothes off her body, but now it made sense. She needed a split second to let it sink in, then she felt herself being thrown back into her position as an agent and was quick to follow up, yet with shaky steps. For now, they had to act - Valentina could swallow her questions to spit them out later. “A-any information on the thing? I can’t believe I missed it.” Rushing by in her head were all the places she hadn’t looked today, the places fit to hold a bomb.

“Oh, hell no. No way I am leaving this house behind, Rachel.” Valentina could feel her throat clogging up and her heart raced so fast she feared it would burst out of her chest at any second; her voice was cracked, quiet but determined. As she walked up the stairs she held on to the banister, but she was up there quickly. It wasn’t like she had anything left but this house and she couldn’t give it up. Pointing at one door in the corridor that was already half open, she spat, “Studio. Can’t be in there, I’m always in it.” and with a breath, the opened her bedroom door; a sacred place, more so than any other room in the house. Ruffled sheets, drawings and records, clothes, most of Maya’s belongings, everything was spread out in here. With another deep breath, the held onto her closet door and began looking for explosives, trying to wipe her mind clean of the banging noises inside it.

[rachelberkley-blog]

Second Encounter || Valentina & Rachel

[rachelberkley-blog]

Her heart skipped a beat before Rachel morphed into her usual self – the persona that should be most familiar to the other woman.

“Hey Val, Long time no see.” She smiled at the brunette before pushing herself through the opened door. “Lovely place you got here.” It was blatantly rude to enter Valentina Abernathy’s home without asking for proper invitation but her objective was time-sensitive. She couldn’t afford to delay any further than she already had.

Once inside she took in the interior that she’d only ever been able to catch glimpses of before. It was indeed a lovely place and her eyes widened when she took in the art that was present everywhere around her. She hadn’t known that Valentina could paint like this. Their former employer didn’t exactly encourage the arts if they didn’t include torture, sweat or blood. She strode right into the living room and then turned to face her old friend again.

“I know, I know. What am I doing here?” She started to talk while inspecting the room with great care. When she didn’t find what she was looking for Rachel moved onto the next room. “Thing is that there isn’t much time.” Was it the power of knowing something that Valentina didn’t that made her feel so confident in that moment? By all means she should’ve been terrified. A shiver went down her spine but it was one of excitement that started in her belly and travelled all the way up into her head. She felt like grinning like an idiot as the rush wanted to take a hold of her. She suppressed the urge and swivelled around again to gauge the mood of the other ex-agent.

[valentinaabernathy]

For a second, Valentina felt her vision fogging up, then she closed her eyes to quickly open them up again, her lips parted in confusion. “No. Rachel? Nono, you’re dead.” Lost in believing everyone she’d known was dead, she found herself plainly overwhelmed with the situation. No wonder she’d gotten near the house without her noticing. As she pushed herself through the door, the brunette had trouble stopping her and plainly accepted the fact for the moment and followed her into the living room. “That’s right. You’ve got things to explain to me.”

The brunette felt her throat clogging up, her mind dizzy with the information that Division had not buried all of them in their bunker. It was hope, confusion, overwhelmment and surprise all mixed together with the fact that she hated having her in her house, her personal space - the only place she’d called home in a long time. The house practically was made of her paintings and drawings, of which many showed personal thoughts, and Maya’s belongings. In a different setting, the woman would probably have been beyond relieved to see Rachel.

As Rachel rushed by her, wanting to leave the living room to go on to another, she wanted to grab her ex-colleagues arm, a grip that she’d remember exactly from her training, forcing her to turn around without hurting her, but the other ex-agent was too quick. “Stop. Rachel. What the fuck are you doing in my house?” Still feeling the cat by her side, Valentina rushed into the kitchen, another room without any sharp objects in sight, all carefully stashed away for safety. “What is going on?” The fact that she had barely spoken to anyone in one and a half years didn’t better her confusion with this situation.

[rachelberkley-blog]

Second Encounter || Valentina & Rachel

@valentinaabernathy

The blonde had her hair made up into a tight ponytail, her attire was dominated by black and her expression was one usually reserved for those entirely bored with the current situation. An occasional observer wouldn’t have been surprised to see the young woman whip out a magazine and start reading it. Her exterior belied the turmoil boiling inside of her as she stood hidden behind an oak. Her blue hues were concentrated onto a lovely house. She checked her phone again to see if there had been any updates but it didn’t surprise her that there were none. With a beating heart she stashed it away into the pocket of her leather jacket.

Movement inside the house caught her attention. She was familiar with the woman who lived inside but she was certain that the brunette had no idea that Rachel had been watching over her from time to time. She hadn’t expected to give the secret up so soon but the circumstances were dire enough to warrant it. A shiver overcame her when she remembered the last one that she had rushed to save and she had failed. If she failed again tonight then she would not be able to forgive herself. Not with her.

Determination replaced the boredom on her featured as she pulled out her phone again and pressed a button that made the device emit a signal. No one would be able to make a phone call or use other means of communication within a hundred metres of her location now. It was just one of the few useful upgrades that her phone had received lately. Then the ex-agent stepped out of the cover of her tree.

With her eyes cautiously looking for other people despite the apparent desertion of the street she walked up straight to the house and rang the door bell.

[valentinaabernathy]

Usually, during the day, Valentina would spend her time in her studio, a pencil or brush in her hand, or on the couch with the TV on, but her gaze directed out of the window. It was still strange to her how she could allow herself to have the luxury of choosing, the luxury of having an art studio, when her life had been a whirlwind of unbearable events all her life and now, since the bunker was down, she lived in silence, utter silence but the music she chose to play and the birds in front of her window. Well - if one didn’t count the persisting night terrors, of course.

When Division went to shit and buried all of the people left that she cared about, the brunette had had to lay out a plan for herself. A final one, one that she would have to stick with in the end. When she quit raging and crying, she’d started to think about what she would do with herself, come to the painful realization that Divison had been her anchor. After all that happened, Valentina decided that she needed to go back to New York. She packed up all of Maya’s belongings, grabbed the cat and with her new identity, she bought a house in the suburbs of the big apple - her home, after all. It was near enough to the city, but also far enough away from it so she could trust herself not to do anything stupid.

The house was messy, but cozy. Valentina never invited anybody - after all, she didn’t really know anyone here - and stayed on her own, which made her feel better, but lonely. Of course, everything was monitored and safety-locked with gadgets she knew from Division. The ex-agent knew about whatever was going on in her house and the area around it, at any time, she hadn’t forgotten one thing. And that was exactly what scared her about the ring on her door.

Twitching as she heard the sound, the brunette was by her safety system in a second, and she gasped just when she saw who disturbed her solitude. With Red at her feet, whose fur was spiked at the foreign sound, she made her way to the door quickly and ripped it open, unable to say a word.

[taqwa-time]

Visit Original Link

[harleenwrites-blog]

What if I say I’d break your heart? What if I say I have problems that made me mean? What if I knew I would just rip your mind apart Maybe you can see that I just may be too crazy to love If I told you solitude fits me like a glove You ought to know where I’m coming from How I was alone when I burned my home And all of the pieces were torn and thrown You should know where I’m coming from What if I said I was just too young? What if I said I was built on bricks of carelessness and crumbs

[valentinaabernathy]

[valentinaabernathy]

[valentinaabernathy]

[valentinaabernathy]

Testify

[2013]

Valentina hadn’t spoken an awful lot since she had been thrown into the dirty hellhole they called a prison, but that was alright because no one really wanted to talk to her. Gossip spreads awfully quick when nobody speaks, apparently. Any way, they all seemed to know she was a killer, and they chose to stay away from her; no one asked a question as to where she was from or if she’d done thing like these often before. They looked at her like kind of like her mother had looked at her when her intake of morphine had gotten higher than her intake of food. Homewrecker, life-ruiner. Valentina didn’t count the days. She knew she had to go to court some time in the future and they would decide over her fate, which being honest, would be the end of her, and she was glad she didn’t have to deal with herself on her own. Out of all of the scum around her, the one she wanted to be around the least was herself. If they would not have put her here - what would she have done with herself? Her life had been over either way.

She had laid out a path for herself. She didn’t struggle anymore. People treated her like she deserved, finally; they didn’t give her sharp objects, not even a mirror and when they escorted her somewhere they brought multiple armed men. There was no one telling her she should believe in a better future, telling her she was a good person, because everyone finally could see what her parents had seen all her life, what she had felt more and more over the years - she was a monster and she needed to be taken care of as soon as possible.

Valentina didn’t feel anything. The hard times were over, coming up and down from the pills, but even that hadn’t really messed with her head. At nights she saw nothing but blood, nothing but empty faces and heard screaming voices and her mother, hermotherhermotherhermother, and she woke up screaming, waking up the whole cell block, but she was empty inside; it didn’t hurt like before. They looked at her in more like feigned interest and disgust. She felt that this scared them the most. She was no raging animal pacing around in her cage when the only sounds she uttered were pained cries like she howled at the moon.

No one had told the judge about her childhood, or what had brought her to kill him. Still now, Valentina felt like no one needed to know; after all they judged the events concerning what had become of her, not what had made her this way. She had not been strong enough to make it out anyway, and maybe she had known just what would happen when she walked in. She remembered the glass crumbling in her palm, ripping open her flesh and unleashing release. She remembered dreams, blurred visions of ripping the life out of him, of freeing the only person she had ever trusted, the only person she had ever felt close to, that had not put her in a cage, but the one who had been in it with her. They acted like she would pull a knife on them at any second, as if she was hiding rage bubbling inside her, pure evil, as if she was planning something they grabbed her wrists and controlled her every move and being honest, it was all she could take. They were doing her a favor. Her will to make it through was gone. Valentina counted the seconds she was alone with the person she despised the most, and the moments until she would be punished for who she was.

Valentina didn’t try to argue. She didn’t testify, she didn’t speak except for one answer; pleading guilty, a nod, meeting the judges eyes once, twice. Cold hands touching her arms, janking her up and rushing her out the door. She thought of the nights she spent in the rusty old truck and where he was now. She thought about her mother and how she had probably killed her, too. She thought of blood and bruises and spilled juice on the carpet. She thought of the past, not the future as she stared at the wall and waited for the poison.

[emmy4keri]

[nathaniel-eissink]

Bar Fight || Valentina & Nathan || AU

[nathaniel-eissink]

The soft voice was easily lost in the hubbub and it wasn’t until the hand passed before his eyes that Nathan found himself paying attention again. He raised his eyebrows and adopted a casual smile. “A bottle of,” He hesitated, eyes skimming the rows of glass and labels before he returned his eyes to the barkeep. “Rum. The cheapest.” Nathan’s fingers were tapping to nothing in particular, the bar slightly sticky under his fingers. 

He pulled a  worn, dark brown wallet from his pocket and fished out a bill, twisting it between his fingers as he looked properly at the barkeep. She was quite familiar, although he didn’t visit often, she was usually there and although they’d exchanged a few words he doubted she remembered him. “If it’s as hard as you say, how do you survive the night?” The rules of being the barkeep here weren’t too clear, but they always seemed to have a clear head. “Are you allowed to drink?” 

[valentinaabernathy]

The smile that the guy on the other side of the bar shot at her hit Valentina by surprise. Even if it wasn’t exactly a beam of a teethy grin, she was rarely met with friendliness that wasn’t meant to accompany the filthy comment about her body most people here offered. While she grasped onto the worn wood of the bar a little harder as the room flickered before her eyes, she nodded towards the guest and grabbed a bottle of the probably nastiest tasting rum found in these parts from underneath the displayed liquors. “Need glasses with that?” She suspected that he wasn’t exactly the guy to swig it right from the bottle and that he would probably be kind enough to share this liquid poison with his friends or gang or whoever really.

The smallest of laughs escaped the brunette as she thought about how in the world he could see past her obviously being high and low on some kind of drug. Maybe she really was good at hiding it as much as she tried. “I’m guessing I could do meth back here and it’d go unnoticed. But to answer your question...” She leaned over to him a little, not particularly because she needed to be closer to him but because it was easier to keep herself up straight this way. “Girl’s got to make money some way, right? I’m not exactly here by choice.” She raised her eyebrows. “Like you.”

[valentinaabernathy]

Too Old To Die Young | Valentina & Ashley

[ashleyydonovan]

A laugh left Ashley’s lips but it contained disbelief in what Valentina revealed to her. “Riots? You’re kidding me right?” She could hardly believe that such a little thing like her supposed murder had such drastic consequences. Did it really take just one little card to bring the whole house crashing down? It was ridiculous to her, who had never accomplished anything in her life that could be seen as important. The doubt spread over her face although she could see that it wasn’t a lie.

“You’re serious?”, she crossed her arms in front of her chest as the weight of it hit her. Riots. She’d seen enough about those in the recent political struggles of the country. In a place like Division it would’ve been contained to the facility but that wasn’t exactly reassuring her. People she knew might have died in those riots. Ashley took in a sharp breath of air when she felt the edge of panic getting close. She wouldn’t fall off that edge, she never has and she wouldn’t now. Instead she relaxed her composure, calmed her breath. It wasn’t her fault. It had all been completely out of her control. I can’t be blamed for the actions of other people.

The next words brought another emotional tidal wave crashing over the brunette. Division was gone? That was almost as unbelievable as the first one but a bit more still. “When? And how did you get out?” The programme had seemed so solid and overwhelming when Ashley had been there. It was hard to picture it being destroyed.

[valentinaabernathy]

Valentina didn’t join in with Ashley’s laughter. Any memory of the bunker and the people she had met and lost during her time there sent a shiver down her spine that made her want to go right back to old habits. Just out of reflex, her right hand met her left shoulder, where she had taken a bullet back then. She could still feel it hurt at times, as they hadn’t given her time to properly recover and since she had been restricted from meds... “Yeah.” It was all she said, staring blankly into the other female’s surprised face. She could practically see how her brain worked and asked herself if she ever had grasped the whole concept of Division and how cruel they really were. After all a whole lot of experiences she had been spared of. 

“You weren’t the only one that disappeared, I mean we all thought you had been murdered by one of ours. Then the shrink was gone and ...” Valentina’s eyes widened. A laugh escaped her, the kind that sounded like disbelief, like she wanted to crash down in disappointment with a wave of realization. “Aidan was in on this.” She shook her head. “Right?! He helped open the doors and all that, I mean—” The brunette ran a hands through her hair and took a breath. She hadn’t seen a single one of all those people in the bunker. Not a single one of them ever since the bunker was taken down. “What does it matter now. It’s over.”

A big lump suddenly clogged Valentina’s throat. She didn’t want to talk about all this. She really didn’t. “It’s been a while. I don’t know. I was about to head in when it just—” Another deep breath before she muttered on. “Collapsed.” What she didn’t mention was that they let her collapse with it, then held her back and sedated her to get other authorities deal with it. She was a threat after all, a trained assassin. She could have killed them all, then and there.

[valentinaabernathy]

Love & Marriage | Valentina & Darcy

Valentina wasn't your typical housewife, which could be a little embarassing at times. Hell, she knew she didn't fit into this kind of life like she should have, the one she had been struggling to fit into for a while now, the one of the full-blood mother and cook and maid at best. The brunette knew a whole lot of women who loved their role, who loved being the little lady at the side of their man, but after all, it wasn't quite the usual man she had either. Sighing, Valentina picked up the pot she had been stirring some kind of soup in and poured it into the sink. She could not cook to save her life. Some recipes, she could adapt to, like pasta, or a salad, but once they expected guests, she had her trusted sources to whip her up a good meal and have her look good in front of whoever she and her husband tried to impress. One bang as she set down the pot, one bang in the livingroom that was clearly a sign of the children. "Scott! Lisa!" Hurrying into the room, she found a broken vase on the floor, a very ashamed-looking Scott and a Lisa that was about to tear up. Now was she made for this after all, or not? Where was Darcy when she needed him?

Another sigh before she got to her knees and spread her arms to run her fingers through her daughter's hair and let her sight grace the mess they had made. "How did this happen, again? Didn't I tell you that if you're in here—" - "It was Scott, mom, I swear." - "She started it! She angered me!" And soon, they had an argument at their hands that resulted in Valentina sending them both to their rooms and her turning on a swingy tune on the radio and sweeping up the pieces of glass and remains of the flowers that had been inside the vase on the floor.

[valentinaabernathy]

[nathaniel-eissink]

Bar Fight || Valentina & Nathan || AU

A large crowd filled the place with the dim roar of conversations, laughter and glasses clinking. Nathan maneuvered through the crowd, mentally reciting what everyone at the table had wanted. He recognised most of the people there and although the bar wasn’t strictly a Blood Kings’ spot, they still frequented it. However, it wasn’t territory, so problems sometimes did arise. Tonight, however, the simple black crown tattoo was worn by most and it seemed like it would be a quiet evening at Nathan arrived at the bar. 

Nathan leaned his elbows on the bar, rubbing his face. He was tired but the nights with the group that was under Cinder’s authority came close to sacred and always resulted in stories that would be told later. It was easy to get swept up in the energy that filled the group once they were ‘off duty’. As he stood at the bar, waiting to catch a bartender’s attention, he zoned out, staring at the multitude of colours and lights, barely noticing when someone did appear before him. 

[valentinaabernathy]

Valentina inhaled the smoky, thick air in the room and held her breath for a few seconds before she released it and dared to open her eyes. The bar shifted into focus slowly while she held on to the wall, running a hand through her hair. The dim lights blinded her, the low music echoed in her ears. It was just the night for a little too much, it had been a long day, and hell, it would be a long long night, so why not? She was tired, so tired, not only physically but generally, she was sick of being tired and she hated how her hands shook and how chapped her lips were and how she could barely stand up straight. She hated this place and the way the scum of the city came here to escape their own barely bearable lives.

When she spotted the semi-familiar guy leaning on the bar, she steadied herself and walked a few steps to stand right in front of him. "Hi. What are you drinking?" Her voice was shaky, quiet - but audible enough. Waving her hand in front of his face to get his attention. A little smirk crept up to the corners of her mouth. "Anything? Pretty hard to spend your night here without booze."