have you seen ( valentina vale, she/her)? They look a lot like ( shay mitchell ). The ( 35 ) year old ( pr strategist ) is so ( composed, perceptive, and devoted) but I heard they can also be really ( controlling, prideful, and vindicative ). Can you believe theyâve been in town for ( a couple of days )?! They live in the ( fairweather hotel ) and kind of remind me of ( red-bottom heels clicking through airport terminals, pageant crowns boxed in tissue paper, smudged lipstick in a hotel mirror, designer sunglasses hiding a sleepless night, a baby balanced on one hip with a crisis call on speaker). If I was asked, Iâd guess that they were ( most glamorous ) in their yearbook for the class of ( 2006 )
FULL NAME:Â Valentina Vale (Pangilinan)
AGE:Â 35
DATE OF BIRTH:Â October 8
GENDER IDENTITY:Â cis female
NEIGHBORHOOD:Â Fairweather Hotel
OCCUPATION:Â PR Strategist
POSITIVE TRAITS:Â composed, perceptive, and devoted
NEGATIVE TRAITS: controlling, prideful, and vindicative
LENGTH OF TIME IN CARROLL:Â she was born here, but travels frequently and comes back to visit her parents.
FACE CLAIM:Â shay mitchell
BIOGRAPHY
Valentina Pangilinan was raised in Carroll, California form the age of three, the only daughter of respected attorney Gabriel Pangilinan and former beauty queen Elena Vale-Pangilinan. Growing up, she was surrounded by polished appearances, high expectations, and the quiet understanding that grace mattered just as much as ambition. With a mother who knew how to command a room and a father whose name carried weight in town, Valentina learned early how to carry herself with poise, charm, and careful control. She spent much of her youth in the pageant world, earning crowns, titles, and a reputation for being the kind of girl who always seemed composed, even when she wasnât.
As she got older, Carroll started to feel too small for everything she wanted. Valentina left home determined to build something bigger for herself, eventually carving out a successful career in celebrity public relations under the professional name Valentina Vale. Now working with high-profile clients, she spends much of her life on planes, in luxury hotels, and behind the scenes managing image, reputation, and crisis with the same polished ease she was taught as a girl. She still returns to the pageant circuit as a judge whenever she can, a role that keeps one foot in the world that shaped her and reminds everyone back home exactly who she became after leaving.
For all of her beauty, confidence, and careful presentation, Valentinaâs life has never been as tidy as it looks from the outside. Beneath the glamour is a woman shaped by complicated friendships, quiet resentments, and the kind of heartbreak that taught her how to make anger look elegant. Now back in Carroll with her nine-month-old daughter, Elliott, Valentina is carrying more uncertainty than she lets anyone see. Sheâs spent most of her life knowing how to control a narrative, but motherhood, old history, and the question of Elliottâs father have left her facing the one thing sheâs never been able to manage quite so neatly: the truth.
His stomach dropped and his heart went right along with it.
No.
His mind went blank as she rejected him. He went numb. Her words fell on deaf ears, fading to silence as she slipped from his grip. Holden had no idea what to do anymore. No matter what choice he made - he was wrong. Penny didn't want him because she told him he should be with Valentina. Valentina didn't want him because she knew he still loved Penny. Everyone else had been shoving him toward his family's way, and now that he'd made up his mind: wrong again.
He clenched his jaw and gently moved his face from her touch, his gaze now avoiding hers completely. "No," he repeated her words tightly, barely able to control the shake in his voice. "You're right," he added, clearing his throat and wiping at the corner of his eyes. What a fucking idiot he'd been! "Just friends raisin' Ell is what we should do," he agreed through an obviously feigned, half-hearted smile, nodding as if it would solidify his facade of agreement. "I dunno what I was thinkin' comin' here. There I go jumpin' before I look," he added with a short, sad chuckle, trying to ease out of this, his most recent mistake, taking a few steps toward the door.
"You jus'...take what time ya need here n'...I'll make sure Ellie's all taken care of....n'ready for ya when ya want her," he stumbled awkwardly through his words as he finished the rest of the short trek back to the front door. "I am sorry Val. I..." wish I would have seen us sooner. He gave one last tight-lipped, apologetic, loving, soft smile, tapping on the doorframe gently just before disappearing back outside. Alone. Like he'd grown used to.
How long had he been in this chair for?
How many more hours would it be?
Before they realized he wouldn't talk. To anyone! Them, or the people trying to come down to the station to check on him. He was still processing that fact alone.
Much of this arrest had thus far been spent not cooperating. One deputy and the salvager had almost come to blows. He had already gotten into it with some other drunkard thrown inside to sleep it off, so they had to move him to another cell. Then to another private cell after that, tucked away in the corner, because he had tried to antagonize the deputy keeping watch with toilet water. Food and water had been refused. And now, they had him stuck in this room with two investigators for who knew how long, trying to get information out of him.
It was the classic good cop, bad cop routine. One kept pushing, the other presented as understanding and relatable. They really tried to work the angle that it was in his best interest, to just come clean now because one way or another, they would find out the truth and it would look better on him, if he simply confessed.
Jesse's head rested back, staring blankly at the tiles on the ceiling and doing his best to drown out these men. He wasn't an idiot.
Actually, no. He was an idiot. A massive, stupid fucking idiot. One that deserved to rot out the rest of his days in these cells. His mouth parted with the sudden temptation there to blurt out everything they wanted to know. But it just so happened, someone else came into the room to bring a halt to everything. Jesse didn't even bother moving, only closed his eyes. Frustrated, that he missed the opportunity to sabotage himself even further.
He only lifted his head after the two officers left.
Jesse faintly recognized the other man, though it had been years and there was something odd about him being in such casual clothes. Though he commanded the room, the clothes didn't read lawyer. The Reynolds called him down to represent him. Fresh, hot guilt went through him, wondering how badly he screwed up with them. They might be sending in the calvary, but they couldn't be happy, either. Everyone in town knew he was strangely connected to their family, and he pulled this? Right after Gus' heart attack? During Grace's campaign for mayor? While Holden struggled? When Dominic was getting outed? As Aspen starred in her own Romeo and Juliet? Honestly, the list of transgressions could go on and on with that family as it was, and he wanted to add his bullshit on top of it?
Hazel eyes moved past the man, to the woman lingering at his back until the two took their chairs. Valentina. Right, right. That's who this guy was-- her father. Hadn't the lawyer himself said that? Pay attention, Jesse. There wasn't any chance to process everything that man said anyway, before his cellular started going off and he excused himself. Leaving the other two in the room alone. It was a bizarre feeling, really. After all the years they had spent basically acting as if the other didn't quite exist on their radar, now here they were. Somehow intrinsically connected anyway.
He looked down at himself. "I prefer green."
First few words he'd said in some time now, and it was about colors. The whole situation felt surreal. He didn't even get why she'd agree to come help. Her dad, sure-- as favor to the Reynolds. But Valentina didn't have to be there for it.
Jesse adjusted in the chair, arms moving to a more comfortable position as the chains rattled. Idly flexing his wrists as he stared back at her. Maybe it was because he had tried to check in on her, before this all happened. Her being in tears at rehearsal had bothered him. Made him realize he'd been up Penny's butt and even Holden's, but Valentina was left off to the side with nobody checking in on her, either. It wasn't supposed to be his job to do that, yet it still somehow felt like it. Because she was Holden's baby mama, and Autumn's best friend. Those people mattered to him and she mattered to them. Their circles overlapped.
And, likely for those very same reasons, she sat across from him now, with a gentle expression and soft question that unsettled him.
"Terrible," the blunt response came, almost cathartic. And then he kept talking. "I got a cousin who don't know what's good for her.. a best friend that thinks he is.. discovered I ain't a Cowen, I'm a Payne.. the man who raised me is dead.. the other almost died.. supposed to be plannin' his fuckin' bachelor party now, like I know what fuck all to do with that.. my brother n' I ain't seein' eye-to-eye n' pretty sure he probably still fuckin' hates me anyway so.. there's a bunch'a people out there actin' like I mean somethin' n' don't know how that all fuckin' happened but okay.." There was a lot of stuff. Even smaller things that just started piling in, one on top of the other, until the man apparently felt the only thing left to do was crash out. There was so much Jesse couldn't even recall everything at once. "Oh, yeah," he suddenly barked out a humorless laugh, "n' I broke up with that artist you thought was dead or whatever."
He still had no idea what those two were to each other.
That was part of the problem. Elio and he had just somehow fallen together in a relationship and they didn't know hardly anything about each other.
He cocked his head to the side, studying her. "Same question."
valentina wasnât entirely sure jesse would answer her. despite running in the same circles for nearly three decades, the two of them had somehow maintained a relationship built almost entirely on proximity. they had always been around each other without ever deliberately seeking each other out. in high school, valentina had been too busy orbiting autumn and teddy, while jesse had holden and, apparently, autumn too, though that particular detail had remained private at the time. they had each been best friends with one half of carrollâs golden couple, constantly occupying the same parties, hallways, and dinner tables, yet barely exchanged more than a glance.
the irony wasnât lost on her now. jesse wasnât speaking to anyone, and somehow valentina was the one sitting across from him in an interview room. when he finally remarked that he preferred himself in green to carroll county red, a small smirk tugged at her mouth. âyou do look good in green.â she had seen him wear it before. the color pulled the green from his hazel eyes, something she had apparently noticed despite all those years of pretending they barely existed to one another.
her gaze dropped briefly to the handcuffs when he shifted in the chair, metal scraping softly against the table, before returning to his face. she hadnât expected a sincere response when she asked how he was. sarcasm, deflection, or silence would have made perfect sense. she wouldnât have blamed him for any of them. still, the question had been the first thing she wondered when she walked in and saw him sitting there. they might not have been friends, but valentina felt an affection for jesse she had never bothered examining. he mattered to holden, autumn, and people she considered family. that meant his wellbeing mattered to her too, whether either of them had ever acknowledged it.
then jesse gave her an actual answer. most of what he told her had already traveled through their tangled little network, but the breakup with elio was new. valentinaâs brows lifted at the admission, surprise flickering over her face before she smoothed it away. when he finished, he paused and studied her. valentina didnât flinch and met his scrutiny with her own.
âsame question.â
the words felt like an olive branch, and she recognized them for what they were. jesse had also texted after rehearsal to ask if she was okay. she hadnât realized heâd seen her crying until then, but he had reached out without prying or turning her humiliation into gossip. for some reason, sitting across from him in a locked room with her father somewhere outside dismantling the case against him, valentina believed she could tell jesse the truth without being judged for it.
she drew in a long breath and leaned forward against the table. âhorribly.â the word sat between them for a beat. âi had to break up with my boyfriend because he accepted another assignment somewhere else,â she began. âwhich would be sad enough on its own, except the entire time we were together, i was in love with my best friend.â she leaned back, folding her arms across her chest. a humorless little smile crossed her face. âthen holden said my name while he was having sex with penny. according to penny, that made me some evil vixen who had been scheming to steal him, even though i wasnât in the room, didnât ask him to do it, and was trying very hard to mind my own business. teddy apparently thought giving her a "mature" makeover beforehand was going to help everyone emotionally, which somehow only made the situation worse.â she shook her head, still baffled by the sequence of events. âpenny texted me, âheâs yours,â and blocked me. holden showed up falling apart, and i finally told him the truth that i had loved him before ellie and had been in love with him for a long time. he told me he had feelings for me too, but that he was still in love with penny.â
valentinaâs mouth tightened around the memory. âwhich, fine. feelings donât disappear simply because new ones show up. i understand that intellectually. emotionally, however, i handled it with all the elegance of a building collapse.â she looked down at the table. âi told him he might be it for me. that wanting him scared me. and he told me he wanted to see where things could go with us, but he needed to talk to penny first because he wasnât over her.â her jaw shifted. âapparently, he needed to make sure his first choice had completely shut the door before he considered walking through mine.â
she exhaled sharply through her nose. âso i had the largest crash out of my adult life at rehearsal. cried in a corner. sent him a voice note telling him i was waiting for him to break my heart and that giving me hope was cruel. you saw me. teddy shut rehearsal down early. i ended up curled on teddyâs couch looking like someone had died.â her gaze lifted back to jesse. âthen holden came to teddyâs apartment, kissed me, apologized, and let me believe for one horrifying second that he was choosing penny.â she laughed once, without amusement. âbut no. it was worst. penny had already chosen for him. she didnât want him anymore, and suddenly he was ready to explore things with me.â
the hurt sharpened beneath her composure. âi told him no. now holden has accepted an assignment in another state for eight weeks.â her expression flattened. âso iâm back to caring for ellie largely by myself. everyone keeps assuring me theyâll help, and iâm sure they mean it, but help still requires me to ask. over and over. i am very tired of asking.â
she let that sit for a moment before continuing. âand i have to move.â her eyes rolled toward the ceiling. âthereâs no way i can keep living where i currently am after all of this. my options are apparently waiting for a house to be built on holdenâs property, which sounds emotionally healthy and not at all like the opening act of another disaster, or accepting autumnâs offer to sell me one of her houses for a dollar when itâs worth considerably more.â she looked back at him pointedly. âone dollar, jesse. because apparently charity is less insulting when it comes with a deed.â
her irritation shifted as autumn entered the story. âautumn and i are also fighting. sheâs in london following eric around while he films james bond, and somehow he has decided that he and vivienne should matter more to her than the people she has known her entire life. i told her as much. delicately, of course.â the slight lift of her brows suggested otherwise. she shifted in her seat. âteddy and i are strained too. he loves me, and heâs trying to protect me, but holden has become the subject neither of us can discuss without fighting. teddy thinks iâm volunteering to have my heart broken. i think he wants me to shut off feelings iâve had for years because watching me get hurt makes him uncomfortable.â
her eyes dropped briefly. âhe was right, which is annoying.â then she sighed. she looked toward the closed interview-room door, then back to jesse. âthe reynolds hired me to handle the fact that gus was photographed kissing his daughterâs best friend. i had to create a statement denying an affair, control the familyâs public responses, keep holden from saying anything, and somehow avoid publicly destroying the woman involved, which i'm not sure if i did a very good job about.â
her lips pressed together. âthey tell me iâm family when they need ellie, emotional support, or a crisis contained. the moment thereâs actual work to be done, iâm treated like an employee who should be grateful to be included.â she gestured around them. âand now youâre arrested and helping my dad out with the case." valentina leaned forward, exhausted merely from listing it all. she tilted her head at jesse. âbut other than that, things are going very well.â
she paused for a moment folding her arms on the top of the table looking at jesse for a moment. "when did you and elio break up?"
Holden couldn't have fought off the sad, soft chuckle if he wanted when she clocked who he'd been desperately wanting since everything had fallen apart. It was Penny. It would always be her. No matter how far he made it away from her, he would always be pulled right back into her orbit because he loved her so deeply his body needed her like air. But he shook his head and fought off the quiver trying to disrupt his lips as he swallowed back the realization that she may be his choice, but he wasn't hers.
"Told ya," he started lowly, finding Valentina's gaze steadily through damp eyes. "She's done with me," he repeated with a dejected shrug. Holden wasn't fooling himself this time that things would get better for them. That they would be able to fix what he'd broken. He had only wanted the closure he never got with Autumn, with Penny, by trying to reach out, but had given up finding it - the tolerance to even speaking now clear to him.
He swallowed back the rising despair that always grabbed him in a chokehold when he thought of what he'd lost, his jaw flexing to keep his own tears from falling to his cheeks as he fought to keep his heart from breaking even further. "Yer for the best, Vally," he finally told her, giving them each a bit of space to breathe. Because fuck was this hard. "N'm'just...sorry I took so long ta see it."
when holden corrected her, valentinaâs brows pulled together. penny was done with him. judging by the defeated set of his shoulders and that quiet, humorless laugh from moments before, he believed she meant it too. when his eyes began to fill, valentinaâs expression softened despite everything. of course he was hurting. whatever had happened between them, he had loved penny. she lifted a hand to his cheek and brushed the tears away with her thumb then he kept talking and valentina went completely still.
he had come here because penny no longer wanted him. not because he had chosen valentina. not because he had finally understood what he felt for her, but because the other door had closed, and she was the one still standing open. her hand dropped from his face. she pulled farther away, slipping completely out of his grasp. âno.â the word came out small at first, wounded more than angry. she shook her head, staring at him as the realization settled heavily inside her. âno, holden. iâm not going to be the person you choose because thereâs no one else left.â
the sadness in her voice sharpened, frustration and humiliation bleeding through it. âi will not be your second choice. not after everything iâve told you. not when iâm the mother of your child.â tears spilled freely down her cheeks, but she wiped them away roughly, angry at herself for crying in front of him again. âi deserve more than being the woman you settle for because penny finally closed the door.â
she folded her arms tightly across her chest, holding herself together now that he no longer could. âmaybe you need to figure out what you actually want,â she said, her voice trembling despite her efforts to steady it. âwithout me. without penny. without either of us standing there waiting to be picked.â she swallowed hard, forcing herself to say the part that hurt the most. âuntil then, we stay friends. we raise ellie together and thatâs it.â
He leaned against the doorframe as he waited for her to answer. His heartbeat was throbbing in his ears. He had never hurt Valentina before. He had never heard her that hurt before. Panic gripped at his chest, and he struggled to breathe, fear tickling his spine that he had come as far as he could and the door would remain shut before him. He shot up straight when the door unexpectedly opened, his soul crushed even further with the sight of her. He had never seen her this hurt before.
Holden Reynolds, you piece of shit.
"Val, I..." he started as he stepped inside, his hands wringing gently as he still tried to figure out what he wanted to say. First. Holden had so much he wanted to tell her, that he wanted to explain, to apologize for, but it all ended up getting tangled as he decided which was most important. And the wear on her face from crying distractingly broke his heart.
Teddy was right.
His family was right.
Penny was right.
He needed to choose his family.
He took a step toward her and, without hesitation, pulled her in for a kiss. The breath was sucked from his lungs as his mind screamed Penny's name, momentarily silencing any other thought. His arms wrapped themselves around Valentina, hugging her close as he kissed through the pain, finally catching his breath once their lips parted. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, keeping the closeness between them.
she closed the door behind him and stayed there for a moment, her back pressed against it as she watched him. when holden stopped speaking and simply looked at her, valentina forced herself to straighten, trying to smooth the misery from her face. if he had come here to let her down, she didnât want to make it harder for him by looking as broken as she felt. then her gaze caught on his blue eyes, and something in the room shifted. the air between them felt charged, heavy with everything they had said and everything they still hadnât. before she could make sense of the way he was looking at her, holden crossed the distance between them and kissed her.
valentinaâs arms went around his neck immediately. a soft, broken whimper escaped her as she kissed him back, all the restraint she had been clinging to disappearing the second his mouth touched hers. they hadnât kissed since london. she had thought about it constantly since then and replayed it, imagined it happening again, wanted it in ways she hadnât let herself admit. only, in those fantasies, it had happened under better circumstances. she hadnât been standing there in sweats with swollen eyes and an aching heart, already braced for him to choose someone else, but none of that stopped her.
she kissed him without holding anything back because she wanted him. because she needed this, even if it only lasted a few seconds. even if it hurt worse when it ended. then holden pulled away and apologized. her eyes filled again, but this time valentina didnât bother trying to hide it. the answer seemed obvious now. the kiss had been goodbye. one last moment before he went back to the woman he truly wanted. âitâs her, isnât it?â she whispered.
she bit hard at the inside of her cheek and nodded before he could answer, forcing herself to accept the rejection while every part of her wanted to fold in on itself. âitâs probably for the best.â
who: @angstfactory (jesse)
where: carroll's sherriff station
gabriel pangilinan was an intimidating man even under ordinary circumstances. in a tailored suit, standing well over six feet with the kind of posture that made crowded rooms unconsciously part for him, he looked every inch the respected attorney valentina had spent her life watching command courtrooms. tonight, he was wearing gym shorts and an old university t-shirt. the clothes made him look more human, perhaps, but they did nothing to diminish the quiet authority that followed him through the station. he had changed only enough to put on proper shoes after valentina called him about jesse, grabbed his briefcase from the study, and driven straight there. his legal assistant was out of town, the office was closed for the weekend, and gabriel had apparently decided that made his daughter the next most qualified person available.
he caught valentina lightly by the arm as an officer attempted to direct them toward the waiting area. âsheâs with me.â valentina knew that tone. she fell into step beside him without argument, matching his pace as they were escorted toward the interview room where jesse was being held. gabriel entered first. two detectives stood over the table, neither of them appearing particularly pleased by the interruption. âand you are?â one of them asked.
gabriel reached into his briefcase and placed his identification and bar card on the table with deliberate calm. âgabriel pangilinan. i represent mr. cowen. from this moment forward, he will not answer another question without counsel present.â
âhe hasnât formally retainedââ
âhe has now,â gabriel cut in. his expression did not change, but the temperature in the room seemed to. âyouâve been notified that he is represented. any continued questioning ends here.â valentina's gaze shifted briefly to jesse, who sat handcuffed to the table in a carroll county red jumpsuit. he looked exhausted, his head tipped back as he stared at the ceiling as though he had already counted every tile twice. gabriel continue with the detectives. âis my client under arrest, or is he merely being detained?â neither answered quickly enough. âthen you may clarify his status with the watch commander while i confer with him privately.â gabriel gestured toward the door. ânow leave.â
there was some muttering, but the detectives eventually filed out, closing the door behind them. only once they were gone did gabrielâs expression soften. âhello, jesse. iâm not sure whether you remember me, but iâm gabriel pangilinan. valentinaâs father.â he took the chair across from him, and valentina sat beside him. âthe reynolds family contacted me regarding your representation,â gabriel continued. âiâve agreed to take the matter without charging you a fee. before we discuss anything substantive, however, i need your consent to valentina remaining in the room. sheâs assisting me tonight because my staff is unavailable, but attorney-client confidentiality belongs to you. if you would prefer to speak privately, she will step outside.â
valentina glanced toward jesse, leaving the choice entirely to him. before jesse could answer, gabrielâs phone began to ring. he checked the screen, irritation flickering briefly across his face. âthat will be the watch commander.â he stood and slipped the phone from the pocket of his gym shorts, the sight almost comically ordinary compared to the command in his voice. âi need to take this. valentina, do not discuss the facts of the case.â
âi know,â she replied.
gabriel looked toward jesse. âiâll be directly outside.â the door shut behind him, leaving valentina alone with jesse. she studied him for a moment, taking in the exhaustion in his face and the red uniform that seemed determined to make the situation look even worse than it already was. then she wet her lips and leaned forward, folding her arms against the edge of the table.
âwell,â she said, attempting a small smile, âred really isnât your color.â the joke landed softly, offered more as a lifeline than an actual attempt at humor. âmy dad is very good at what he does,â she continued. âand from what heâs been told so far, it sounds like most of their case is circumstantial. that doesnât mean we dismiss it, but it does mean you shouldnât assume theyâve already proven anything just because they put you in handcuffs.â she drew in a breath, her expression softening. âthis is probably a stupid question, but iâm going to ask it anyway.â her gaze held his. âhow are you?â
who: @thexcarrollxtimes
where: carroll medical center
tldr: gus had a heart attack, holden got into a fight with jesse, and valentina went to look for holden and finds him outside on a bench. besties being besties!
He didn't look back once he left Penny and Jesse. He couldn't. He was barely holding it together as it was, and he somehow had to figure out how to get it together enough to go in and face his family. Alone. He pulled out his cigarettes and slid one out between his lips as his body started to go numb from the inside out. He took a deep drag, taking a seat on a bench outside the entrance to the hospital. He'd just lost Penny. He was sure of it with the way she looked at him now, his belief only solidified with her refusal to even listen to anything he had to say. He was also just as sure he'd just lost Jesse along with her. The love of his life and his brother. Gone. And now he was on his way to losing his father.
He took another drag, his worry debilitating, forcing his gaze to focus on a speck of nothing on the ground in front of him. Why was all of this happening now? His stomach churned as he thought back to his last moments with his dad at the cabin, all of which had included Penny and had been genuinely happy ones for him. He took another drag. He couldn't bear to lose his dad. He couldn't handle being an orphan, even as a grown man. His chest ached, but his heart felt as if it had stalled in its beats as he sat and just existed, irrationally afraid that heading inside would turn his nightmare into an absolute terror somehow sealing Gus' demise - now staunchly believing he was a walking pillar of bad luck. He took another drag, his mind so lost he hadn't noticed Valentina walking his way.
valentina hadnât expected the call from grace, but she was grateful the woman had thought to contact her and tell her what had happened to gus. she packed up her things at work, picked ellie up from daycare, and brought her to her parentsâ house, explaining only that she needed them to keep her for a little while. she promised she would update them as soon as she knew anything more. by the time she reached the hospital, holden still hadnât answered any of her texts. she tried him again before finally asking grace where he was and whether there had been any news about gus. grace didnât have an answer about holden, only a request that valentina find him.
she had barely stepped out of her car when she spotted him sitting outside the hospital with a cigarette between his fingers. that was easy enough. even from a distance, she could see the blood around his mouth.
valentina drew in a slow breath before walking toward him, taking in the state of him without immediately asking the dozen questions crowding her mind. âyou might want to get some ice for that lip,â she said as she stopped in front of him.
His eyes barely flicked her way as he unconsciously went through the motion of touching his mouth and looking to find it still bleeding. "No," he denied flatly, taking another drag, letting his eyes fall back to the ground. "M'fine," he lied, his voice low and somber.
He knew he should have told her to go on inside, that he would be in right after. That he should heed Jesse's advice and leave her be, same as Penny. But he didn't have the energy to care anymore. He was just unsure. Confused. Broken. Empty. And Lost. But at least he wasn't alone anymore. He reached for her hand to pull her to sit next to him, curling her arm into his side for added comfort. Val always managed to be there when he needed it most. "M'glad yer here," he quietly admitted, his thumb absent mindedly caressing the back of her hand. "I can't --" His words were cut off by a sharp breath as he bit back at the reality that he was still teetering on the edge, unable even to consider his father among those not waiting on the other side of things - going inside still impossible.
âyeah, you look fine,â she said dryly, but she let him take her hand and pull her down beside him anyway. without asking, valentina reached for the cigarette in his other hand and brought it to her lips, taking a slow drag before settling into the silence with him. that was what being his best friend meant sometimes meeting him exactly where he was, even when there was nothing she could say to make any of it better.
her father hadnât reached this point yet, but one day he would, and valentina knew without question that holden would sit beside her through it too. âiâm glad iâm here,â she said, matching the quiet weight in his voice. she flicked the ash from the end of the cigarette, then glanced toward the hospital doors. âhave you been inside yet?â
He silently shook his head. "No," he admittedly sadly, reaching over to take back the cigarette for a drag before handing it back to let her finish it off. His jaw tightened, and he bit back the fresh tears springing to the corners of his eyes as he thought about what he would find once he finally did step inside. His hand squeezed gently around hers, her presence grounding in a way he desperately needed in that moment. "I didn't wanna go in on my own," he told her after clearing his throat, rubbing his free hand along his leg and shifting in his seat. "M'too afraid tha' f'I go in there, way things'v been goin' lately, tha' m'just gonna find out I lost him. N'I couldn't do that alone," he added with a small shrug, quiet shame in his voice, feeling weak for being unable to control his fear.
valentina watched as holden took a drag and passed the cigarette back to her. she took the last pull before crushing it out beneath her shoe, then squeezed his hand in return and rested her head against his shoulder. âiâm here,â she said quietly. âwe can do this together.â she needed him to understand that he wasnât alone, not in this or anything else. whatever happened next, she would be there beside him. âiâve got you, hilly. i always do.â
lifting her head, she looked at him, her expression soft but serious. âyou donât have to do everything by yourself. you donât have to sit here and be afraid by yourself either. thatâs what iâm here for.â her thumb brushed gently over the back of his hand. âfriends are supposed to help each other through the hard things.â
she lifted their joined hands and pressed a light kiss to his knuckles. âwhatever you need, iâm here. we can stay on this bench as long as you want, or we can go inside together.â her gaze searched his. âeither way is okay with me. just tell me what you need.â
He nodded. He knew she had his back. She always had and always would. Same as he would for her. Even before Ellie, without question, Holden would always be there when she needed him most. He loved her. But despite being grateful she was there as he leaned his head against hers, taking in the calm trying to ease his pain, his chest clenched with a mix of sorrow and guilt. He just couldn't stop the quiet, nagging desire that he wanted it to be Penny at his side and not Valentina. Although now doubt clouded his belief that even if things had still been good between them, it would have ended up any differently. And the realization hit harder than anything else.
His brow furrowed as he caught her gaze, emotions he couldn't quite name, all at once, swelling in his chest. And for the first time he really saw what Penny was so afraid of. Valentina really was everything he would ever need. For decades she was the only one by his side. The only person who truly had never left him. She had been there since the beginning and had always just taken him as he was. Loved him, mess and all, never expecting him to be the magnificent Golden Holden that had died all those years ago with Autumn's heartbreak. Even gave him the family he always wanted. It crushed him to realize too late that they could have had something special.
But Jesse's words rang through his ears, 'you're not in shape to be with anyone', and he hated how right the man was. Knowing he should try with Val now that he had finally seen her, did little to quiet the overwhelming need he had to be with Penny. So, heart-breakingly, friends they would remain.
He let go of her hand to pull her in for a hug, needing her closeness. "I love you," he said quietly as he squeezed her a smidge tighter. He leaned back to find her gaze once more and gave her a soft smile. "I really don't deserve to have you as anything, you know that," he told her with a somewhat defeated sigh, caressing her cheek. His touch slipped back to her hand along with his gaze, his smile tugging sadly at the corner with the sight of their linked grasp. "We should go inside," he finally said lowly, watching his thumb graze along the back of her hand. "I jus' need ya ta promise you won' leave me 'til we know he's gonna be ok," he added, struggling to fight back the fear of losing his dad as it once more tried to choke him.
she couldnât quite read the expression on his face, but something about the way holden was looking at her made her chest tighten and her pulse stumble faster. it felt as though he were seeing her for the first time, which was ridiculous considering how many years he had known her. maybe it was because of what she had confessed. maybe now that he knew, he was looking for evidence of it in every glance and touch. or maybe he wasnât seeing valentina at all. maybe he was thinking about penny.
she shut the thought down before it could take root. this wasnât about her feelings or penny or the mess waiting for them once they stepped outside this moment. all of that could wait. right now, she was simply valley helping her hilly through something terrible, the way she always had. their nicknames had always felt fitting that way. there had been peaks and drops between them, years of distance and moments of closeness, but somehow they always found their way back to each other.
when holden pulled her into another hug, valentina held him just as tightly. her heart betrayed her when he told her he loved her, lifting hopefully despite everything, but she forced that feeling back down where it belonged. âi love you too,â she whispered. and she did. more than she knew what to do with. there was too much of her tied up in loving him to ever pretend otherwise again.
when he pulled back and brushed his hand over her cheek, valentina leaned instinctively into his palm. âyou deserve the world, hilly,â she said softly. âand iâm going to make sure you get as much of it as i can give you.â she squeezed his hand when he finally said they should go inside, then nodded slowly. âiâm not leaving until you tell me youâre ready for me to,â she promised. ânot before. iâve got you.â
His heart was racing. Holden hadn't thought things could deteriorate any further until he heard that voice message. The hurt in Valentina's voice broke him. Over and over as her voice replayed through his mind.
'iâm just sitting here waiting for you to break my h-heart'
'i watched you do this with autumn for years.'
'iâll just be some idiot sitting at home with our baby.'
'...giving me hope when you already know how this ends is mean. itâs cruel.'
His chest clenched with the realization that he hadn't known the ending Valentina so firmly believed was coming. Holden had just been lost since coming back from Ohio, disenchanted that the stint in rehab had changed anything for the better as intended - everything just continued to fall apart more and more by the day, and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. He had been miserable.
Except, he had been coming to find out, when he was with his family. And he'd be damned if he was going to lose it now.
He barely turned off his truck when he parked at the complex and rushed from the its cab to head up to Teddy's place, heart hammering so hard by the time he got to the door he was sure it would explode right out of his chest. "Vally?" he asked almost meekly as he knocked. "Can we just talk? Please?" he begged the closed door.
rehearsal gave valentina somewhere to put her attention when every other part of her wanted to crawl into a dark room and cry. she had to be there for teddy, even if she would have preferred to be anywhere else. at least she knew how to do this. she knew how to swallow whatever she was feeling, straighten her spine, and make herself useful. it was what she always did. she buried the hurt and got busy, but holdenâs messages kept replaying in her head no matter how hard she tried to focus.
youâre so much in my mind and heart, holden, it honestly scares and worries me. iâm not trying to be pushy or anything, but i want you. you might be it for me, and that terrifies me.
god. why had she sent him that? then his reply:
iâm very torn, val. because i⊠want to see where things might go with us. i do. but i also donât want to rush into anything and ruin what could be something great. i want to talk to penny about things first because iâm honestly just not over her yet. you know?
no. she didnât know. if he wanted to be with valentina, then why wasnât he simply choosing her? he could say the sweetest things imaginable, but did any of them mean what she thought they meant? did he need to speak to penny first so he could make absolutely certain that door was closed before he dared open another with val? of course he did. he needed to keep his options open. he needed to make sure his first choice truly didnât want him before he settled for the second.
stupid. stupid. stupid.
she made it through as much of rehearsal as she could before the pressure became unbearable. valentina slipped away to an empty corner, intending to give herself only a minute, but the second she was alone, everything broke loose. she pressed a hand over her mouth as she cried, trying to keep the sound in and failing badly enough that she never noticed jesse spot her. she didnât notice teddy either, not until he abruptly called rehearsal early.
she shouldnât have sent the voice note. that had been even worse. how pathetic did she have to be to let holden hear her falling apart over him? and yet, when he asked where she was, she still sent him teddyâs address because she wanted to see him. because even with her heart aching, he was still holden. still her best friend. still the father of her child. no amount of humiliation could make her stop wanting him near when she was hurting, even when he was the reason for it.
by the time holdenâs voice came through the front door, valentina was curled on her side across teddyâs couch, her head resting in his lap. she went still for a moment, staring toward the sound before sniffing and pushing herself upright. she wiped hurriedly beneath her eyes, though there was no hiding that she had been crying. she had already warned teddy that sheâd given holden his address. unsurprisingly, he hadnât been thrilled. âcan you go to your bedroom, please?â she asked, glancing at him. âiâd talk to him outside, but i donât need britney catching even a whiff of this.â teddy rolled his eyes, but he stood and disappeared down the hall anyway. valentina was grateful enough not to comment on it.
she got up from the couch and wiped her face a few more times, trying to make herself presentable even though the effort was useless. her eyes were red-rimmed, her nose was pink, and she was dressed in nothing more glamorous than sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. when she opened the door and saw holden standing there, her eyes immediately began to fill again. she cleared her throat, forcing the emotion back before it could spill over. âcome in,â she said quietly, stepping aside. âteddyâs in his room.â
Eric smiled when she said that; except for the obvious obstacle they had tripped over, their relationship had been sailing flawlessly with these two head over heels about each other. "I'll do my best to convince your friend I am your soulmate," he replied, emphasizing that "am" to leave no room for doubt, because he had none.
Taking the glass from her as they sat down, it felt strange to almost turn it down, but a themed celebratory drink shouldn't hurt. "Happy Fourth. A few more weeks and she'll be here every day." Relieved and happy to remember that, he took a drink, watching the red and blue fruit. It wasn't unusual for Eric to use frozen strawberries instead of ice cubes. "Maybe she'll even play with EllieâEllie, right?âI think they'll get along. Speaking of..." He kissed her cheek. "Any tips for what not to say or do around Val?"
His insistence had her grinning a bit to herself as she took a little sip of the champagne, savoring it with a pleased hum. "I can't wait. I miss her so much it hurts." Out of all people, Autumn was the most shocked at the bond she'd created with the little girl, the depth of the love she had for her, sure that she couldn't have loved her any more even had she birthed her herself. "I wish we could have her full time as it is."
Autumn nodded in the affirmative, humming it as well as her tongue flicked out to catch the vestiges of her last sip. "Yeah, Ellie. They'll be the cutest little friends, I just know it. As for Val... you don't need to worry, Baby. Just be yourself and that's all that matters. You'll charm her right off her feet, I know it. She'll get to see just how much I love you all for herself."
valentina made autumnâs cabana her first stop of the day, ellie balanced on her hip as she crossed the sand. the plan was to spend the morning with autumn, meet holden afterward so he could take ellie, and then head over to oscarâs. it was a full schedule, but valentina was more curious than inconvenienced by the early start. she had never met eric, though she knew enough about him professionally to have formed a few opinions already. namely, that autumn could probably do better than eric sanders. still, valentina had promised herself she would make an honest effort not to be too judgmental.
âi hope iâm interrupting something,â she called with a bright smile as she approached. ellie giggled against her hip, kicking her feet happily. valentina usually kept her in a carrier, but it was far too hot for that today. âsorry weâre late. ellie refused to keep her clips in while mommy was trying to get ready.â ellie showed no remorse whatsoever. instead, she looked from autumn to the unfamiliar man beside her, suddenly a little shy now that she realized someone new was there.
valentinaâs gaze followed hers, taking eric in with a quick, practiced sweep before her smile settled neatly into place. âiâm valentina,â she said, extending the warmth just enough. âyou must be eric.â ( @esanders )
As soon as they were out by the water, he could sense the shift in her. Her entire face kind of lit up, and as a whole, she simply looked lighter. Like the weight of whatever stresses she carried had been backburnered for the moment. "Would be my pleasure," he openly simped, the grin in place. Grayson's hand cupped the back of her ankle, easily slipping off her sandals one at a time. Leaning in close enough that his breath likely ghosted her calf with adjustment. Yes, he did let his eyes trail along the shape of her legs while he was down in the trenches, and that probably wasn't a subtle look from him, either.
"Know something, Val?" Grayson asked, dragging his eyes up from her legs to meet her gaze. "You're a real distraction." With a quiet laugh, the man gave her calf a gentle pat, before he got to his feet. "I just realized I left the shop unattended." Now, his laugh was louder and full-throated. Laughing at himself, for having been thoroughly engrossed in this woman. "I'm sure my nephew is around somewhere," Gray commented then, taking out his phone to shoot a text to Tristan.
valentina watched as graysonâs hand curved around her calf, his gaze making a slow path along the length of her legs. she could only imagine what was going through his head, though the look on his face gave her a fairly good idea. val knew the effect her legs tended to have on people and exactly how often they imagined them wrapped around something other than a surfboard.
a knowing grin tugged at her lips as she tilted her head, studying him while he openly appreciated the view. when he finally spoke, his hands still lingering against her, she lifted her brows. âiâve been told,â she replied smoothly. only when he patted her calf did she lower her leg, laughing softly as she adjusted the life vest against her body giving him a slight pout. âdo you need to go find him?â
"S'campin' Val," he countered with just as much jest in his voice. "Where else ya spposed ta do it? Tha Hilton?" he chuckled. "Oh come on!" he continued with only somewhat feigned offense, shifting Ellie to the front of him to give his shoulders a break. He made a pfft and gently tossed Ellie in the air, shaking his head with obviously feigned disbelief.
"You hear that? Mommy thinks I'd let her get eaten," he playfully told their daughter to happy giggles as he pretended to eat her stomach. "And she lost her fav'rite shades. Ah," he added, tossing her back up.
"N'I did not punish you by askin' ya ta hold the stakes while I put tha tent up, but you sure did give me trouble later over those glasses," he went on Val's way, giving her a knowing nudge once Ellie was back at his chest. "Try ta go easy on Oscar f'he does tha same. Even though I know how traumatic the manual labor is for you," he teased just a little more.
It was getting harder and harder to deny things had changed since coming home, but he would never admit aloud how badly he had wanted the family time. Valentina deserved to have time to be free. Even if he was selfishly glad she shared in his disappointment. "It can count f'ya want it to, but I don' think it really does," he agreed lightheartedly. "I dunno f'I'd call it luck with it bein' me, Vally, but I'll give it to you 'bout bein' smart 'nough to have Ellie with your best friend," he turned the compliment back on her. "Guess we don' have ta sue Trojan for tha condom bustin' now, huh?" he joked with a soft chuckle.
"Yeah, she's almost five." Kindergarten soon, and Autumn couldn't express with words how much it warmed her heart that the little girl she loved so dearly would be attending the very same school she did come the fall. Settling back into the familiar comfort of the London registered Manchester limo, Auttie reached over to the bar so she could pour each of them a glass of champagne, one which she held over her to Val, her flinch only manifesting in a twitch of one eye brow. "Oh, ow."
But there wasn't actually any hurt behind it. "We can actually travel where and when we like, most of the time. I'm not tethered to his hip, Val." The roll of her eyes was playful, though. "Just because I'm staying with him on location doesn't mean we can't go shopping in Milan if we want to, or get sushi in Japan. I do love Amsterdam, though. Remember the first time we went? I barely do."
âfun age,â valentina echoed, though most of what she knew about it came from mothers with far more experience than she had. still, she was beginning to suspect there wasnât an age with ellie that wouldnât feel special in some way. the newborn months had been exhausting, but even then, every time valentina looked at the tiny person she had made, her heart had felt too full for her chest. she accepted the glass of champagne from autumn with a soft smile when the other woman said ow. valentina knew she didnât actually mean it. not enough to matter, anyway.
she took a slow sip, lifting her brows over the rim as a smirk curved across her lips. there was something about autumn manchester and valentina pangilinan that made slipping into old habits feel effortless, as though all the years between them had done nothing to dull the instinct to find each otherâs softest spots. âi donât know, auttie,â she said lightly. âstaying in london, waiting around for him to finish work while you shop sounds a little tethered to me.â then her eyes brightened with false realization. âunless he keeps you on a tight leash.â valentina tilted her head, concern settling prettily across her features. âyou know you can tell me.â she didnât bother answering the question about amsterdam. at this point, valentina had already decided that trip belonged entirely to her imagination.
wow, Val really is out here making her mom proud. There's no way she didn't poke holes in those condoms knowing that she'd be able to stroll into town with Holden's baby and move right in with him on the ranch. Only took her a couple of months to steal him from his girlfriend. She truly is a pro. Mom must be proud that pretty soon her daughter will be Carroll royalty.
"Oh there's no way Val Vale didn't pop that Reynolds baby without a few dollar signs in her eyes. We all know those people are richer than God and Holden Reynolds is due to inherit it all. Honestly pretty smart. I should have thought of it myself."
I was out having dinner at the Bait Shop and saw Holden having drinks with Conor. I thought he was on the straight and narrow. Guess he thought his girly pop was done finding love in the arms of randoms. Somebody should have told him you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.
"Eh... Holden Reynolds, baby, darling, sweetums, you're falling off the wagon because of Penny Hart? Or is it because your Dad is out of commission and you still don't get to run the ranch? Gotta learn more ropes from your ancient old Grandpaps? I think I'd drink from embarrassment, too. Val Vale get your mans reined in like bitch, that ranch should be yours. We all know that's why you popped Holden's baby. Trying to climb that social ladder in Carroll just like your mom?"
