VALINE

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[valineciaga]

Kill the fantasy. Bury the “what if.” You don’t meet the same person twice —not even in memory.

[valineciaga]

Grieving three ghosts

The old version of you that I knew — a memory I can’t fully trust anymore, but still reach for. The old version of me that knew you — an identity I’ve outgrown but still miss. And now, you who no longer exists in this world —the boy who will never return. I’m untangling them slowly, learning how to let go of each ghost without letting go of myself.

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RIP B, now you have all the time to rest.

[valineciaga]

I need to be with my thoughts for a bit.

[sheiskindasweet]

[valineciaga]

I never knew what I looked like when I was a baby. My parents said I had chubby cheeks and that I was really fat and have no hair. They never thought I would have so much hair to this day because of that reason.

I remember when they needed a baby picture of myself for school but have nothing to show them because I had none. All the photo albums got burned in the fire from our first house. Even then my parents didn't really take that much photos of me and my brother growing up. There were some of me taken by his ex girlfriends since I'd always be around them. Those were the only photos I refer to back then.

Fast forward to now I take photos of everything.

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just an unfinished thought

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

“You need to understand the delineation between the correct way to do something and whether you like it or not”

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

For me, the challenge seems to be that I find greater pleasure in the process than in the outcome—more in the journey than in reaching the destination.

[valineciaga]

Break the mold.

Nowadays, people hardly read lengthy posts, so I'm going to write more. My days are always different because I don't follow a strict routine. I never know what tomorrow will bring and I find it reassuring to embrace that uncertainty.

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Yesterday, I spotted James Jebbia in the city, sitting on a bench near one of my favorite restaurants. *If you don't know him that's unfortunate* His wife had her head resting on his lap while they chatted face-to-face. This moment felt significant to me because I I've been wanting to shoot for Supreme. Seeing him randomly made me feel like I'm getting closer to that goal. It's also wild that I work at a store literally next to Supreme. Anyway, I wasn’t even supposed to take that route home; I just had a sudden urge to take the longer path. Side note -- As I write this, I'm staring at the Supreme Tyler wheat paste that I just framed in my living room.

This might not mean anything, but I believe in signs. They’re all around us; you just need to know how to recognize them.

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

Someone mentioned that my eyebrow piercing reflects my willingness to take risks. They noted that I could have chosen a tattoo or a different piercing site, but I went with the one that could have affected my career if things hadn’t gone well. As a photographer who relies so much on my eyes—and considers them one of my best features—it was certainly a daring decision on my part.

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

[valineciaga]

I’ve exhausted everything that was once new to me. I’ve tried everything but give up and I think it’s time. Maybe giving up is what it takes. So I give up. 

[valineciaga]