if i were free

Valerie Keyes; And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.

[finn-johnson]

What do you wish could’ve been better?

[valkeyes]

Uh... a lot of things, I guess. School... life. I don't really know. 

[kimberleon]

I thought it was pretty okay, maybe. I dunno, I made progress on a few things, so that should be what makes the year good, right? Making changes from the last year for the better?

[valkeyes]

The thing is I have no idea if I progressed... I doubt it. 

[devonivy]

It could’ve been a million times better.

[valkeyes]

I guess we can say that about a lot of things. 

Too bad we can't go back in time.

[fanningmaryelle]

[ki-rhee-blog]

Yeah, I guess. There were some interesting things that happened but I won’t remember much of it, anyway. 

[valkeyes]

I feel like we remember the bad stuff more than we remember the good. 

[finn-johnson]

It could’ve been better. But, it could’ve been worse too.

[valkeyes]

I--... I don't know. I sort of see what you mean. 

[valkeyes]

Well, this year is almost over. I can't say I'll miss it too much. It... wasn't that great, don't you think?

[finn-johnson]

How could you not be one of my favourite people Val? Look at yourself. You’re kind, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met, you always have your best intentions at heart and you’re one of the best friends anyone could ask for. You’re amazing Val.

[valkeyes]

...Oh.

Uh-- thank you.

[valkeyes]

Hi Liam, 

I don't think you know me, but I'm a sophomore. I don't think we've ever spoken either. So, I wasn't really sure what you like. But, I made you cookies in a jar. There are instructions, and two different kinds. So... if you are ever feeling like baking, these would be fun. I'm sorry I am really bad at this. Merry Christmas.

From, 

Valerie Keyes

[lunacameron-deactivated20170523]

For someone who loves cookies so much, you’d think that I’d at least be a half-decent baker.

[valkeyes]

I don't think it always works like that, Luna. I can bake you cookies if you want.

[kennedysalvatore]

I appreciate the passion, but right now I don’t really feel like doing anything. I was trying to find out who she is, and then I got distracted by how good life was going, and then how bad but somehow still good, and now I know what happens when you get complacent.

[valkeyes]

I understand. I do.

[kennedysalvatore]

Chill, okay? You don’t have to do anything. None of us can do anything and none of us should have to do anything. What have I got to lose now, anyway? Everyone knows. I’m sure my dad will be home soon once he hears about the post and then Ruby can write about that too. She wins.

[valkeyes]

She doesn't win. She can't win. She somehow found out everybody's secret, we can find out hers'. Can't we?

[kennedysalvatore]

But it did happen, you know? She took something so private and turned my life into a plot. I don’t even know why it hurts so much. It’s embarrassing, yes. But it’s… goddammit, she said my mom’s death is going to be in her next stupid book.

[valkeyes]

It hurts because it's personal. Somebody we know... somehow... they hurt us. They are hurting us. Your... that's not right. You should be not be turned into... some... some plot device! Our secrets... they're somebody's personal gain! People keep getting hurt. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. I'm sorry, Kennedy. I can't do anything. 

[kim-jamie]

Yes, sure, and yes!

[valkeyes]

Is there an answer to this, really?

[pitythegirl]

....

[pitythegirl]

Guess you’re right. I kinda liked playing as the evil witch in plays and stuff, they always have more character, but I’m glad roles are temporary. Do you think Ruby Grant is just playing a role? 

[valkeyes]

Aren't we all?

[harleycameron]

How soon do you think she can make me some? Because you’ve got me really hungry now.

You can? Why did you not tell me this earlier!?

[valkeyes]

I don't know. I- I could ask?

I'm sorry, Harley! I didn't know you wanted to know.

[kennedysalvatore]

Thank you. But it happened anyway. 

[valkeyes]

  That's just the thing. It shouldn't have happened. None of this should have happened. She's... she's dangling our own lives over our heads. I don't want to see people keep going through it. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want you to be sad. I'm sorry it was you.