Queen of Disaster

[wildfaeworld]

started calling my executive dysfunction issues my board of dysfunctional executives and treating it like a room of frail old white men and it hasn't fixed everything but it sure is fucking funny

[wildfaeworld]

alright everyone we need to do the dishes! the DISHES. no, ted, it's not in your phone. ted you have so many apps open. ted how did you download a virus. the nice exiled nigerian prince sent you an nft? thats nice ted. now, about those dishes,

[wildfaeworld]

alright on todays agenda: LAUNDRY. yes laundry as in dirty clothes. yeah greg that's a board-level task in this organization. greg its very undignified to throw a tantrum like that at your age.

[autumngracy]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”

[emdeighamae]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[emdeighamae]

Funny AF Spiritual Memes

[depsidase]

[espurrnential]

[null-is-sparing-you]

the "you aren't friends" really sells it.

[emwheezie]

Cats with knives.

[cadathecat]

give every cat a knife 2kRightNow

[dashingprince]

Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.

[fuckysuckybrigade]

I was eating off this cool cheese plate while you were talking can you repeat that pls

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I am using a delicate fork which is NOT touching, I win

[marry-and-mirthful]

You touch it when it goes in your mouth

[ashintheairlikesnow]

well fuck

[emdeighamae]

What if I just inhale it like Patrick Star

[bodyfeeling]

op turned off reblogs but i want this post on my blog

[zzoupz]

I know basically nothing about tarot cards but I absolutely need to make this a reality

[gothiccharmschool]

I need this card to add to every one of my tarot decks. NEED.

[emdeighamae]

[emdeighamae]

Jesus started it! | Luke Severeid | Luke Severeid · Original audio

2.3M views, 92K likes, 1.4K comments, 22K shares, Facebook Reels from Luke Severeid: Jesus started it!. Luke Severeid · Original audio

[emdeighamae]

“You get so excited, and you f*** it up immediately.” 🎤: Jordan Jensen Page | Comedy Central Stand-Up | Comedy Central Stand-Up · Original a

12M views, 331K likes, 5K comments, 28K shares, Facebook Reels from Comedy Central Stand-Up: “You get so excited, and you f*** it up immedia

[tillflake]

Talking about Bück Dich in New Orleans 1998 on r/unexpected

[amberinbloom]

I'm done for tonight (♡)

[richardzk]

Important things:

1. Till’s laugh. 2. SCHNEIDER’S YELL.

[catnippackets]

when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right

that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?

[catnippackets]

had to draw it

[catnippackets]

a few people pointed out that they probably wouldn’t understand what they were saying and just mimicking whatever sounds they happen to hear so I wanted to add this

[emdeighamae]