ALTRUISTIC PLATONIC

Elghandiva Astrilia T Multidisciplinary artist · Free spirited, delighted in solitude. Some honest words from a honest soul.

[vandaleigh]

Focus. Get back on track.

Self

[vandaleigh]

Humans who endorse peace and compassion is one of the best of its kind.

[lovelustquotes]

[vandaleigh]

Humans are somehow really obsessed with beginnings and put too much energy on what it really supposed to be.

[vandaleigh]

telling mum you’re okay when you’re not just to make her happy

[vandaleigh]

Can I be your boyfriend?

[vandaleigh]

(Divv)

[vandaleigh]

Listen to ELGHANDIVA - THINGS I'LL NEVER SAY by JAM MALAM #np on #SoundCloud

[vandaleigh]

The perfect amount of distance

Behind these big rocks, I'm covered by a shadow. A very deep, thick, and dark shadow. I tried to walk and walked and walked and walked and finally penetrated the shadow and slide into this gloomy rainforest. Everything was dripping with what I guess resembles like steamy foams.. but it's not hot, the steamy foam is violently cold. Dry. Cold. Dull. Hollow. What happened to me... what am I doing here? In a sudden.. a light came. Unexpectedly. Like usual. Unexpectedly unexpected. Surprise. It felt so warm, so pure, so safe and secure. It's a feeling that I've been searching for so long. A familiar sensation. Even talking about this made my chest burst with its warmth. A warmth that is quite distant but very comfortable for me. The perfect amount of distance. The type of warmth that I held on for so long. My perfect amount of warmth... How can this fusion be so strong? What are these new sensation that I'm feeling? What made me...? This warm feeling lingered in me. It tastes like excitement, tolerance, sincerity, a new good path. Uncertainties are in the atmosphere but somehow there is this energy that pulls and dived me down, deeper and deeper and deeper.. so deep.. deep into this thick dark forest that needs my presence...

[vandaleigh]

2017

Better in balancing and understanding the needs for independence and for partnership~☆

[vandaleigh]

Sincerly need to feel more..

Some say that I’m aloof, detached, experimental in doing things, and somehow I send all of the wrong signals to people who don’t get me. I suppose I have a different state with other people on how to love and to care. 

 I’m losing people who are actually kind and lovable. I feel that we can’t connect anymore in some certain level. Well, for sure life isn’t about pleasing other human being, but I suppose in today’s society we’re expected to fulfill someone’s expectations. When you start pleasing people without taking care of your feelings, I can guarantee you will feel lost and sad everytime you do the deeds. On a personal level, growth and change is something that I’m striving for this year. Things change dramatically when you experience extreme experiences.

You change, you become wiser in your action, you think deeper, and you just focus on what you love. You focus on your life, you know that things will eventually be okay if you keep believing in your life, and the encounters or people that you meet - especially the meaningful ones.

I do accept my solitary moments and embrace them better today. I’m in the state where I do not feel that I’m missing anything out in my life right now.. I believe that if it’s meant to be, and you put effort, it will be.

Challenging things happen even if you put your best work on it, at the very least, you experienced it.

[vandaleigh]

White. Plain white. Void. It’s like an endless fog. It’s quite scary. I can’t see anything. No blues, no oranges, just white. Plain white. It hurts my eyes by looking through it. It’s so bright. So white. I wonder who sees the same spot I’m looking at right now, and I wonder what kind of thoughts he/she developed by just staring at this plain white void. 

I’m hoping for a blue, purple, pink, and orange.

[vandaleigh]

Look but don’t touch.

[vandaleigh]

I’m feeling so content and calm. And in a sudden, I remembered this melody in my head that I’m not sure from which.

I hummed.

Humm.

Hummm.        humhumm.

Hummingg.                Humhum.

Hu uu uuu u ummm.

and then mom said, “are you feeling happy today?”

There was this long pause.

..    ....... .. ......... . . . ... .. .

Slowly, I smiled.

[wordsnquotes]

I think some people are just inexplicably bonded. Drawn by forces beyond their own comprehension, they have no choice but to gravitate toward one another. Destined by fate to keep crossing paths until they finally get it right.

L.B. Simmons (via wordsnquotes)

[vandaleigh]

♡

There are so many things in my life that I could not elaborate it in our limited language. For meeting and spending my time with someone who understands me beyond our languages is my kinda life goal in this lifetime.

[vandaleigh]

Leo here :p Are you on Snapchat or Instagram? What's your id?

Yep, you can find me (at)elghandiva.