That's right, drop everything. :)
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That's right, drop everything. :)
Reminder that when your therapist glances at the clock, itâs usually to gauge whether thereâs enough time to explore a heavier topic or to ensure your session ends not too abruptly. It doesnât mean theyâre tired of you or counting down the minutes until you go. They are planning how best to spend the rest of your session so you leave feeling satisfied with what you spoke about and safe enough to be on your own.
Itâs you therapistâs job to be interested in what you have to say and make you feel better during your sessions.
Happy (late) Moth Monday everyone!
What's that? Why yes, I do love The Owl House. Why do you ask?
This is my reminder to you that no self-love can begin without challenging and (often) reframing self-loathing.
PSA: Please donât ask participants to do grounding/mindful/somatic/etc practices at your events
Grounding exercises should not be an activity in large group settings, especially unsolicited and without warning, especially if youâre not aware of every single person in the spaceâs mental health conditions, physical health conditions, and personal relationship to their body.
Practices such as mindfulness, grounding, somatic exercises, breathing techniques, body scans, etc. are very helpful therapeutic tools to help manage stress. They can (and do!) help plenty of peopleâ when taught safely and used effectively!
HOWEVER for people with conditions that cause psychosis and/or dissociative conditions such as depersonalization/derealization, these techniques are contraindicated and can make their symptoms significantly worse. They should only be used with guidance from their mental health team and adapted to their needs. For people with conditions like anxiety and PTSD, being aware of breathing can trigger a trauma response or anxiety attacks.
And for people with conditions that cause chronic pain or other uncomfortable bodily sensations, becoming re-centered with their bodies can cause more awareness of the pain they are in, which a level of (ideally functional) dissociation is actually helpful. For people in wheelchairs and powerchairs, touching the ground beneath their feet isnât always an option. For people with cardiac and pulmonary conditions, deep breathing can be impossible or can trigger asthma attacks. For disabled people in general, doing body scans can be impossible due to paralysis or limb differences. They can bring awareness to things the person wasnât aware were wrong to begin with (which is helpful in certain spaces, but not a great ice breaker at a retreat!)
And for trans people, binders and other garments can restrict breathing, and taking repeated deep breaths while binding can cause rib damage (which is why you shouldn't bind at night, while coughing from sickness, while exercising, etc). Becoming centered in a body that makes you dysphoric can be deeply distressing, again, a level of functional dissociation helps.
This also goes for plenty of other people in marginalized bodies, such as people of color, people who use substances, queer people, and more. Becoming grounded in your own marginalized body can be a heavy weight to carry, and needs appropriate and individualized care to be a beneficial experience.
As an alternative, I suggest doing a round of gratitudes instead, it allows for people to choose their level of vulnerability in spaces, while not being generally contraindicated for many people. Doing fun (and appropriate to the setting) icebreakers are great. Ask what brings someone to the space. Check-ins about basic needs such as if people need to use the restroom, eat, drink water, are rested, etc. can be more appropriate body check-ins for folks to do.
I donât recommend doing these exercises even with a warning beforehand. If I'm in the room while someone is leading a breathing exercise, even if I try to ignore it, I (and most people) would automatically become aware of my breathing. The same goes for any other techniques. These techniques can cause real, life-threatening levels of harm for some people, and can even just be deeply uncomfortable or distressing for others. Dissociation is not inherently evil or bad or harmful. It is the way the body and mind naturally respond to adverse experiences (note: it can also cause distress and at higher levels, can be disordered) it is best to allow people to exist as they are in communal spaces. Let people show up as they are.
Most spaces are not equipped or appropriate to respond to emergencies, difficult feelings, and all the varied responses that can come from folks doing mindfulness in group settings.
I personally do some things before large gatherings and events to feel centered on the activity Iâll be doing, and afterward, I decompress. Encourage participants to lean on their natural supports and offer suggestions for it! Be creative in your caring!
This also doesnât mean to discourage these practices! If you see someone doing deep breathing, check in with them, offer a space for them to decompress, care for them! Worksheets or posters on techniques like square breathing and 5 senses check-ins are great for a quiet room or spaces where participants can decide if they want/are able to engage with those tools. It should be a fully consensual opt-in, rather than being forced to opt-out. Having to leave a room when a group leader says âWeâre going to start a mindful breathing meditation, please feel free to leave if you have psychosis, chronic pain, or are transâ is obviously othering and outs people.
Sincerely, someone who has psychotic symptoms, dissociation, chronic pain, is trans and whose body is marginalized in many ways and is really tired from trying to explain this at every event I go to
Astrology + Exercise + Journal Prompts for Wednesday June 3rd
Mercury trine North Node; Mercury square Neptune
On Wednesday, Mercury in Cancer trines the North Node in Pisces and squares Neptune in Ariesâa deeply intuitive, emotionally charged day where the mind feels both inspired and clouded at the same time.
Mercury in Cancer thinks through feeling, memory, and intuition rather than logic. But when Mercury is in a water sign, clarity can feel like opening your eyes underwaterâeverything is visible, but softened, blurred, and filtered through emotion. Add Neptune to the mix, and the haze becomes even more pronounced. This is a day where intuition is loud, but logic may feel slippery.
Mercury is also activating the longâstanding Yod weâve been working with for weeksâthe one involving the South Node in Virgo at the apex, and Neptune in Aries + Pluto retrograde in Aquarius at the base.
Mercury rules the South Node, so its movements today stir up everything weâve been releasing: perfectionism, overâanalysis, control, hyperâvigilance, and the need to âfigure it all outâ before taking a step. Pluto retrograde continues to transform the deeper layers of our psyche, revealing what has been hidden, suppressed, or avoided. Neptune in Aries pushes us to reimagine our identity, our dreams, and the courage it takes to pursue a new vision.
Mercury trine the North Node in Pisces opens a channel toward growth, trust, and surrender. Mercury sextile the South Node helps us release the mental habits that keep us stuck. But Mercury square Neptune in Aries asks us to surrender the illusion of control. It dissolves old narratives, outdated beliefs, and rigid expectations. It blurs the lines so we can dream a new dream, imagine a new version of ourselves, and soften into possibility.
Jupiterâthe ruler of the North Nodeâis square Chiron in Aries, meaning identity wounds may resurface. Sensitivity is heightened. Old insecurities, fears, or selfâdoubt may bubble up. But this is not regressionâitâs revelation. We cannot heal what we refuse to see. We cannot grow without acknowledging what hurts. Today asks us to take responsibility for our healing, our choices, and our willingness to change.
What it feels like: Intuitive. Foggy. Tender. Like youâre receiving messages through emotion rather than thought. You may feel sensitive, nostalgic, or easily overwhelmed. You may have sudden insights followed by moments of confusion. You may feel pulled between what you know and what you feel. This is a day where the inner world is louder than the outer one.
Positive expressions: Heightened intuition. Emotional clarity. Healing insights. Letting go of perfectionism. Releasing control. Deepening trust in your inner guidance. Creative inspiration. A new vision emerging. Compassion for yourself and others. A willingness to explore new possibilities.
Shadow expressions: Confusion. Overâsensitivity. Miscommunication. Taking things personally. Feeling lost or directionless. Overâidealizing something or someone. Escaping instead of engaging. Doubting your intuition. Feeling overwhelmed by emotion or memory.
The invitation: Surrender the need for certainty. Let intuition guide you. Let your emotions speak without trying to silence them. Release the mental habits that keep you small. Trust the vision that is forming, even if itâs not fully clear yet. This is a day to soften, to listen, to feel, and to allow transformation to unfold from the inside out. Growth requires courageâbut it also requires surrender. Let yourself be guided by what is possible.
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Healing opportunity & Actionable Step: Surrendering Control When the Path Isnât Clear
Aligned with Mercury trine North Node (trust) and Mercury square Neptune (surrender).
Positive Expression:Â Heightened intuition, emotional clarity, releasing perfectionism, trusting inner guidance, creative inspiration.
Shadow Expression:Â Confusion, over-sensitivity, feeling lost or directionless, over-idealizing, escaping instead of engaging.
Actionable Step: Practice the âSurrender Sitting.â Sit quietly for 5 minutes. Place a hand on your heart. Ask: âWhat am I trying to control that I need to release?â Let the answer ariseâdonât force it. Then say aloud: âI release control over ________. I trust what I cannot see.â Breathe. Then write one thing youâre willing to trust without understanding. This is not passivityâitâs faith. You donât need the whole picture to take the next step.
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Journal Prompts:
1. What Would Trust Feel Like Right Now? Mercury trine North Node opens a channel toward growth through surrender and intuition. In an area where youâve been overthinking, analyzing, or trying to control, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: âWhat would trust feel like right here?â Not blind faithâjust letting go of the need to have all the answers. What would change if you stopped trying to figure it out and instead let yourself be guided by a quieter, softer knowing? Whatâs one small thing you could trust without understanding the whole picture?
2. The Illusion Iâm Ready to See Throughâ Mercury square Neptune dissolves old narratives and blurs rigid thinkingâso something new can emerge. What is one belief or story youâve been holding onto that might be more about fear than truth? âIâm not ready.â âIâm not the kind of person who ________.â âIf I try, Iâll fail.â Where did this story come from? What would it cost you to keep believing it? And what might be possible if you let it dissolveânot by fighting it, but by simply choosing not to feed it anymore? Whatâs trying to be born in the space that story has been taking up?
*This is from my weekly astrological breakdowns; I hope you find it helpful in working with the energy of the day. Sending much love!
~Amanda~
Femininity is not the absence of strength. It is the confidence and deliberate act of being exactly who God created you to be. Women are powerful in their softness, their nurturing spirit, their creativity, and their childlike wonder. A caring heart towards the people around them is often more impactful than stepping into a setting for the sole reason of trying to prove their worth to men or for the sake of proving their independence/value in some material form. Regardless of what the world says women ought to be in this age, I would like to be warm, gentle, a lover, and a friend. The creator of a home, and the giver of peace &Â Â joy to those I love. Itâs okay to want to be a feminine woman.