vanKesszak @vankesszak - Tumblr Blog

haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

stromcuzewon

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

stromcuzewon

THE GREAT MOOSE HAS DECLARED A POWER PLAY

randomencounters

Encounter: junior league hockey god

vocabulary-altering-posts

PHRASE ADDED!

"THE GREAT MOOSE HAS DECLARED A POWER PLAY"

CHARACTER ADDED!

THE GREAT MOOSE (HOCKEY) (SOME FORM OF DEITY)

romanceyourdemons

you can tell the economy is doing awesome when every ad is like l“play our slot machines—they’re weirdly addictive!” “no money? try loan shark!” “sports betting: the cooler way to be a man” and i swear to god i’m barely paraphrasing the copy of several ads i just saw i swear to jesus christ

romanceyourdemons

traditionally you had to go to the back of a greasy restaurant and talk to a man with brass knuckles for that kind of shit and now it’s being blasted on every screen in psychedelic technicolor. WITH scannable qr codes

baelonthebrave

had many many favourite parts of that episode but I did love shane's mom being like 'so do you love your team ilya?' and ilya so confident he knows how to answer this question right like 'not as much as i love your son mrs hollander' and shane's mom being like EH ❌🙅🏻‍♀️ WRONG ANSWER and shane being like mom what the fuck??

sincenewyorks

obsessed with david and yuna knowing ilya is a whore and ilya being like yes i am a whore but this whore loves your son now

gaysie

what if orpheus looked back at eurydice and then orpheus got fucking decked to the ground because they were playing a hockey game and you have to look where you’re going

animentality

stalock

gonna start asking hockey dudes on tinder if they can define goaltender interference and if they give me any answer other than “i don’t know” i’m unmatching them

stalock

men? not disappointing me? what is this feeling

stalock

how do i tell these guys this post got 200+ notes on tumblr

stalock

UPDATE ONE OF THESE GUYS IS ACTUALLY A REF I’M LAUGHING SO HARD

pomrania

[Images are screenshots of various text conversations.]

(first conversation in the second post) Grey: “With officiating these days who the fuck knows” Grey: “Every game is diff every league it’s a joke Katie” Blue: “good answer thank you for participating in this research project”

(second conversation in the second post) Grey: “Whatever the fuck the ref is feeling at the time is the only right answer” Grey: “Kinda like the answer to what does the nhl consider a suspendible play. They just kinda spin a wheel of justice and go with whatever it lands on”

(conversation in the fourth post, which seems to be with the same person as the second conversation above) Grey: “I mean I am a hockey ref like I know the definition of what it is but I’ve seen some real bullshit called interference so idk anymore” Blue: “Oh that’s so cool! I hope you don’t plan on becoming an NHL ref because then I think I’m obligated to hate you” Grey: “Nope nope nope I would never.” Grey: “My vision and judgement aren’t bad enough”

wmnylander

😭🥹

wmnylander

Lights Out with William Nylander

couldawouldashoulda50

gyudons

when any nhl player gives an intermission interview

thememedaddy

jedusaur

one time a casual hockey fan tried to convey this experience to me from the other side as: "it's like... okay, imagine that you like donuts, and you meet a guy who also likes donuts, and you're like, hey, cool, we both like donuts! but this guy... he built his house out of donuts"

so now when I trip into a new fandom I'm like "oh shit I'm building this house out of donuts"