Spiritfarer is wrecking me emotionally and I need to process it. (There'll be slight spoilers here for the earliest parts of the game.)
So Gwen was the first to cross. She is the first spirit on board and she does a lot of that "introducing the game features to you" -stuff. The things she says also indicates that we know each other from before: a lot of shared memories, etc. As she gets to the Everdoor, she seems to not reach any sort of enlightenment or closure at the end, just, sort of accepts that it's time now. Doubts, but still some kind of ready.
Part of the game is that the spirit's have their own rooms or cabins on the ship, and you can't remove them after they are gone either. Partly because you need them for some game mechanics, but I think also because it's an important part of the point of the game about loss. Gwen's empty cabin makes me lose it all the time. Like, with Gwen I grieve for me - I miss her, I feel her absence on the ship. There is a room on my ship where Gwen is supposed to be and she's not. And I'm a little bit bad at videogames so I accidentally go in Gwen's room kind of often, and every time it's like being stabbed.
Summer was the second to pass. With her the sadness was more in what she said. Her life and the journey had been so satisfying, beautiful, life well lived. And still. She realised that she hadn't done any better at dealing with the Dragon than her father had. She too crossed with doubts, and feeling a little like a failure maybe. So with Summer I grieve for her, that she didn't get what she wanted with the Dragon, but also didn't have time to adjust to the realisation. Her empty room doesn't wreck me quite the way that Gwen's does. But... I haven't played the guitar for the plants since she went. I dunno, I'm just too busy. But it does mean that no one plays for them since Summer isn't here.
The third one, Alice, was a different kind of kicker. She deteriorated quickly and then it was like, she needs to be taken to the Everdoor as soon as possible. And like, I didn't feel finished with her. I didn't even find out what her favourite food is! But I couldn't dawdle because of the way time passes in the game, I just couldn't let her stand there waiting any longer. And it felt so unfair, she didn't really know what was happening. The others went in knowing what was coming. Like yeah there was a sense of giving up with them - but Alice didn't even get that.
And like. All of those are completely normal experiences of grief: the hole left behind, things getting left undone, the unsatisfactory feeling of "that's it then?", the unfairness. This game is simulating the feelings of grief incredibly well. Or like the feelings aren't simulated, but they are caused by a simulation - just like with movies and books and all other touching forms of art.
dededos
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
discoholicmusic
