synopsis: a collection of random johnny relationship headcanons because he has taken up a huge space in my brain and he won’t go away. enjoy 🕺
pairing: johnny knoxville x reader
genre: fluff!!! suggestive? not fully nsfw
warnings: mentions of cigs? alc?
before you guys started dating he would DEFINITELY do the gnarliest stunts on set then immediately turn around and be like “where’s y/n? did they see that??”
if you did see and were (understandably) concerned, he liked to use this as an excuse to flirt with you
“wanna kiss it better, doll?”
DOLL!!!! sweetheart, darlin, ect
calls you pet names so often that it’s a rarity when he calls you by your first name. it only happens during an argument or if he’s feeling super sappy.
“god y/n, what did i do to deserve you?”
speaking of arguments he is so annoying. he makes it so hard to be mad at him because he simply refuses to get angry with you. he NEVER raises his voice toward you, and for the most part is pretty level headed.
“i just- are you even fucking listening to me johnny?”
“hm? your eyes look so pretty in this light pumpkin.”
“i…shut the fuck up.”
an early bird (when he isn’t hungover), watches you sleep with a little smile until you open your eyes. then he closes his and starts fake snoring as if he was asleep the entire time
when you and the guys travel for the show/movies, he lies to the hotels and says you’re his wife and he thinks it’s the greatest thing ever
“mr and mrs. knoxville?”
“that’s us!” just giggling the entire time
not really the jealous type? trusts you 100% always (after all i’m guessing you’re friends with the whole crew so you’re around other guys most of the time)
HOWEVER. he is protective. doesn’t like to leave you alone anywhere if he can help it, especially at parties. has gotten in a bar fight because a guy got too close to you
his singing voice isn’t the best by far but when he gets drunk sometimes he’ll perform love songs via karaoke for you (you know they’re for you because before he starts he says “this ones for y/n!”)
also sings in the shower. on said mornings when he’s up earlier than you, you don’t even need an alarm. you wake up to the sound of water running and pj’s horrible rendition of “ain’t no mountain high enough”
cigarette kisses oh my god.
if you’re sharing a cig instead of taking it from you, he’ll gently grab your hand and bring it up to his lips and take a drag, eye contact the entire time OHGOODHEAVENS
A FANTASTIC KISSER .
slow makeout sessions that can last forever. sometimes he’ll pull away with one of his hands on your face and rub your cheek with his thumb <3
omg then he’ll move his hand slowly to the back your neck and pull you back in WOW
really wide collection of graphic tees and enjoys when you go shopping in his closet (really likes when you wear his stuff in public)
you guys have a “signal” at parties that means it’s time to go home. it’s usually a raise of eyebrows or he’ll tilt his head toward the door
it’s funny because people think you’re going home to fuck but in reality you guys usually just lay in bed and giggle until like 3 am (not saying there aren’t nights where you do leave to go fuck because…)
tries to be subtle when he’s horny in public but it usually comes across pretty obvious. eyes you up and down, licks his lips. definitely whispers shit in your ear to see if he can make you blush, sly bastard
IMPATIENT ASF LIKE DAMN CAN YOU WAIT TIL WE GET HOME ???
“i thought you didn’t wanna leave yet?”
“there’s a bathroom.”
usually a dom but we’ll get into all that another time 😏
not the best memory but he tries, so he has a little notepad in his bedside table and written in it are things he’s seen you look at in stores and such. along with your favorite flowers and places to eat :(
hand on your thigh when he drives 100%
hands on you all the time tbh he loves to touch you. if you work on set, sometimes he’ll just run up to you, kiss you and leave to go back to what he was doing. idk man he’s just obsessed with you
let’s you sit on his lap and trim his facial hair up <3 has gotten a little too cheeky and caused you to cut him though
“ow! oh shit am i bleedin’?”
“stop distracting me idiot.”
carries a picture of you in his wallet (it’s probably a candid of you eating or something. he knows you’d kill him if you saw it)
he is the sweetest i cannot stress it enough . golden retriever bf to the max <3
side note: there’s definitely more than these if u guys want them lol i love him sm
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