[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

maybe i, like the sea,

am impossible to hold;

one cannot keep

that which recedes.

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

there’s big waves coming

and i’m putting on my finest silks,

readying myself for baptism.

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

my body is so gentle

it hurts

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

and we will slow dance

in the kitchen

on a tuesday night

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

eyes:

vermont maple syrup, sweet,

golden honey…don’t

look at me like that,

with that soft distrust, silent and

searching my face, wondering if

i’ll scrub salt into your open wounds…

don’t worry, darling.

i won’t.

but i won’t kiss them closed either,

for my tired tongue has known the taste of metal for far too long;

my lips no longer crave the thick slip of liquid iron.

my rust-caked teeth are desperate

to be scraped clean, freed

from their alloyed caskets

of flesh

and ore.

so watch me,

darling,

with your coppered gaze,

as i swallow your saliva

instead of your blood.

—there have been enough sacrifices

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i am blackberry brambles tangling

between your ribs, the slow

drip of honey down

the walls of your lungs.

if you prick your finger

looking for me

inside you,

won’t you at least stop to

lick the sweetness

from your fingertips?

—remembrance

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i will ache

and so will you

but we will be okay

—time comes in roses

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

we are sins

shrink-wrapped in silence and

splashed across cherry-flushed cheeks.

we are unholy tongues sliced

at their roots: offerings

smeared across foreheads

in upside down crosses.

we are the children of judas,

and we are not to be trusted -

or so we’ve been told.

—prophecy

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

our love was a desperate hunger,

sat heavy

in the back of our throats: wet

and masticated,

like the seeds of a bloody pomegranate.

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i can no longer contain the retching within.

desperation stings, sits

heavy in the back of my throat:

a fishhook lodged between

two shredded tonsils.

all at once, crimson

flesh erupts from my mouth:

ruddy and mealy and

masticated like the

seeds of a rotten pomegranate,

a river of styx cascading

over open palms.

all at once,

i am empty - nothing

but a trembling bubble of saliva

spreading across wet,

wine-stained lips.

—the ache

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i’m terrified that my life will be over

before i realize

it’s happening

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

love is allowing people to let go

thank you for this reality check

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i understand now

that you can want love and

not be ready for it

at the same time

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

let us slow down together.

here,

mountains swallowing the sun,

branches extending across

purple-orange twilight:

magnificent skeletons.

let us sit quietly

here,

in this silver-cold,

and listen to the electric hum

of our burning bodies.

please,

slow down.

won’t you

let me show you

how to be still?

—restless

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

it’s on mornings like this

when i wake up angry and aching

and keenly aware

of the vast emptiness between my ribs

where your fingers used to be,

that i have to remind myself:

if you were the right person,

it would have been the right time.

it’s both or neither;

you either get all of me

or none of me.

—mutual exclusivity

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

i am trying to learn

that just because

i find someone beautiful

doesn’t mean

i get to make them mine

[venus-aphrodite-calypso]

you cannot accept

that you might never see me again

because that means accepting

that you made a mistake

by letting me go in the first place

—you can’t have your cake and eat it too