magicant

xvii|22|he/him all posts are like if you see. dont follow unless i directed you here.

[vesper3]

looking back on the stuff i used to post here ive...come a really long way in how i deal with my issues

it feels good to be more stable and self sufficient

im really proud of my recovery so far (^:

i cant even remember who i was vaguing at in some of these old posts but im a lot more at peace with people who arent in my life anymore

i can look back on the good times and thank them for everything ive learned from them, and then let it go

working on my codependency has done so much for my mental health im just endlessly amazed at the progress ive made because it feels good

[vesper3]

*reads back though the old posts on this blog* ow the edge

[vesper3]

me: oh boy i just bought this game ill get around to playing it eventually someone: *already spoiling it* me: *the glass im holding shatters*

[vesper3]

*sees someone who abandoned me* *clenches my bitter little fists*

[vesper3]

.-.

[vesper3]

)^:

[vesper3]

u ever remember some fuckin Awful edgy ideas you had like just a year ago and you Wanna Die

[vesper3]

why am i so self centered

please cant i be selfless just once

[vesper3]

one of my friends: *getting attention and appreciation* me: *BANGING POTS N PANS* WHAT ABT ME 

[vesper3]

im pissed and jealous people can have better relationships than me whcih makes me pretty much horrible. i feel like a failure

[vesper3]

>who the hell looks at a guy who can't accept the fact that he's deeply flawed and goes "need me a freak like that" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[vesper3]

idk just. calling a kid with adhd "ignorant" and "immature" bc he didnt fucking read all of what you wrote and made a dumb mistake is kind of idk like i get that having someoen disregard your special interest sucks i get it! but i literally just got the name confused with a game by the same dude and i got snapped at and i said sorry! and then i still got called immature and a fuckup

[vesper3]

me? a kid with a long history of focus issues because of adhd? having problems listening? its more likely than you think

[vesper3]

real depression moments wish i was fucking asleep rn

[vesper3]

someone: hey groupchat: HEY whats up me: haha hey guys groupchat: me: 

[vesper3]

my friend said my new haircut looked like a comboevr when part of my fringe was messed up and honestly i felt a little like crying

[vesper3]

god i feel fucking alone

i feel like if i died right this second some people would be kinda like aw.... for a second and then go back to their lives and forget about me forever