vicious, probing curiosity.

"I don't care. We'll go somewhere the Magisterium has no power over people. There must be such a place in the world. Or we'll stay on the run. I really dont give a fuck as long as we're together. " He leaned away from her, hurt that she was denying him a simple thing like that. "You don't love him. He doesn't love you. Why do you really stay with him? And don't tell me it's because of your mother, I perfectly can keep her away from you as well, if not more easily than him."

Marisa sighed. "There are Northern territories still ungoverned by the Magisterium, but they're completely disconnected from the rest of society." she pointed out.

"Why do I stay? It's not about staying with Edward, if I could divorce him and be with you, then I would, but the Magisterium would never allow it. So I'm stuck. I don't want to stay with Edward, but I want to stay here because I like being a member of the RAI. I worked hard to gain membership. I earned it, through months of meetings, writing letters, proving myself over and over and over again, followed by months of preparing and training. And with that membership, I have opportunities not available to me anywhere else as a woman, maybe even opportunities that could lead to a real career. So, I can't just leave, Asriel. I won't give that up." she answered honestly and firmly. "So if you can offer me a solution to our predicament that allows for that, I would be happy to hear it." she huffed.

Asriel was still frowning until she said she wanted to love him. That was when a smile appeared on his face. And the more she spoke, the more his smile grew wider. "Stay with me then. Don't go back to your husband and run away with me. We'll go whenever you want to live, I'll buy you a castle or a private island. Whatever you want but run away with me."

Marisa gazed at him with shock, followed by such sadness in her eyes. How she would love to just run away with him. But Edward, though their relationship had always been transactional, was still a jealous, possessive, and petty man. And he saw his wife as belonging to him, regardless of the lack of love on both sides. If she were to disappear, he would spend resources tracking them down to the ends of the earth if he had to.

"Asriel, we can't. Edward would find us. The Magisterium would find us." she told him. "You're powerful, not untouchable."

Asriel frowned as she took his hand, confused. "Are you doubting that I love you?" He cupped her face with his other hand and ran his thumb along her cheek, smiling at her. "I know I love you because of how and what I feel around you. I've never been that obedient in my entire life, but with you, I'll do whatever you ask me to. Kill a man? I'll do it. Run away with you? In a heartbeat. Jump into the abyss? Without a second thought. You turned me into a different man, you tamed me, Marisa. And I should hate it with every fibre of my body. But I don't. I'd never change it for nothing."

Marisa shook her head, gently placing her hand to his chest then.

"No, I'm not doubting you at all." she assured. "I'm doubting myself. When I say I don't know what love feels like, I mean it. Not just in love shown to me but... I've also never loved anyone before. Not really." she admitted. "I think as a child, I had love for my family, a very young child, but that so quickly soured. And romantic love, I've never felt for anyone, ever."

"However... I want to love you. That I know." Marisa decided. "I just can't tell if that's the way I feel now or not. But I want to understand." Was she changed as a person as Asriel claimed he was? Would she do anything he asked of her? She didn't currently possess the certainty that Asriel had about this.

Asriel stayed in her arms without moving nor talking for a while, even after she just talked. Love. What was love for him? He was lost in his thoughts trying trying to find an answer.

After a few heartbeats, he finally said. "Love is the most human feeling that exists. But it's more than what you've said. It's a deep connection between two people, it's beautiful and freeing, it gives you reason to live and die. It submerges you, and you're content just to fall into it." He leaned a bit away from her, just enough to look at Marisa. "But it's also frightening. To just let go of the control on your own mind and body. It's like falling into the abyss, but enjoying it nonetheless."

Love was the most human feeling that existed, Asriel said, and until Asriel, maybe still not even now, she didn't have it. Marisa knew that she was damaged and inhuman, and this knowledge further solidified that self assessment. Marisa was ashamed to admit that, though. It was difficult to even admit that she didn't know whether or not this was love. She knew that she enjoyed Asriel's company immensely, she was even beginning to trust him, and when their bodies were together like this, she felt excitement and emotion that she hadn't experienced before. Did that equate to love? Marisa sat up then, looking at Asriel with concern, reaching for his hand as she did.

"How do you know if what you're feeling is actually love or something else?" she asked.

He relaxed under her touch and slid out of her. He smiled against her neck. He was surprised that she said it back. He never hoped she would say it back. He knew she liked him, that was quite obvious. But love wasn't something he expected of her.

Marisa had her arms wrapped around his waist now as she rested her head against his chest. Sharing in the sensations of her daemon, feeling Stelmaria's claws as the golden monkey did, she continued to feel relief. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again as she remained curled up to Asriel.

"I don't know what love feels like." she admitted to him. "This is such a silly question... what actually is it, in your definition?" Marisa sighed. "I've seen others describe love, though I don't know how accurate it is. Mostly, it seems people describe love as this inherent and easy to feel, overly gushy thing that people naturally experience."

He growled her name. Once he was feeling she was ready, he slid his fingers out of her and took off his underpants. He completely lifted her dress and slid inside of her. Feeling blissful, he started his back and forth, holding onto her thighs forcefully enough to leave bruises.

⚠️ nsfw

He growled her name, feeling her finger almost touching him. With a boyish grin on his face and shuddered breath, Asriel slid his hands along her thighs. He couldn't help but scratch her on his way to under her dress. He needed to mark her as his. Lifting the hem of it, his hands headed straight to her knickers. He didn't waste time and ripped it off of her, his fingers finding her sex. He kissed her then, deeply and lustfully.

Marisa sighed in delight at feeling the scratches etching into her skin. Her pleasure intensified at the sensations of his hands. She kissed him hungrily, her grip tightening on his hair, while her other hand so gently caressed his cheek.

Asriel growled when she broke their kiss. He was uncharacteristically about to protest when he heard her fingers working on his belt. He looked down, smirking. He thought about helping her, but she was undoing his belt so graciously that he just preferred to watch her.

His growl further pushed her. Marisa's fingers worked quickly with skill, and as soon as the belt was undone, she lifted her head look up at Asriel. She kissed him again, only for a short moment this time before grabbing at his hair, slightly yanking at it. "Your turn now." she breathed against his lips, a finger running along the waistline of her undergarment.

He couldn't think anymore. He couldn't think further than Marisa. All he knew for a fact right now was that he wanted her, heart, body, and soul.

Asriel groamed against her lips. His hands slid along her spine to her ass until they were under her thighs. Without another warning, he carried her and took her to his desk, putting her down at the edge of it without breaking their kiss.

As they moved, the golden monkey clung to Stelmaria's back, riding her as Marisa clung to Asriel as she was carried by him. She had enjoyed intimacy with others in the past, but none of it had ever been like it was with Asriel. It was uniquely fulfilling and intense, her entire body on fire with craving. Once she was set on the desk, she was the one to break their kiss, to glance down at Asriel's belt as she began undoing it.