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@victoriamara
Victoria | 19 | she/her
𓂅 ⁎⁺˳ 🍰 𓄼˚ ⋆𓍼
About me: very slow writer || I write for tlou, Yellowjackets, and arcane || I am bisexual so I write for both genders! ||
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
dni: if you're racist; intolerant towards religion, sexuality, gender and things related; if you're sexist, if you promote acts of violence.
Hey guys! I’m back from my break, and I’m feeling better. Since it’s summertime for me I’ll be trying to write more to fill my time, but no promises that I’ll keep a writing pace. I’m writing a story right now about carpenter!joel so hopefully it will be out within the next month! I’m glad to be back🫶
Hey guys! I haven’t written anything for the next chapter of kiss me hard before you go, but i just wanted to say i will be taking a break. It hasn’t been that long since i started writing but i do need a break since my mental health has gotten really bad. I will hopefully come back, i just need some time to get better ❤️🩹 life hasn’t been too great for me lately, and since i already have pretty bad mental health issues as is, it’s gotten too bad. I hope you guys are okay and I’ll be back soon.❤️
I’m such a fan girl omg. I have a fanfic account, and editing account, and a cosplaying account😅 I don’t cosplay anymore but still. Like why am I doing all three omg
Lonely rural house on an overcast day.
yup thats all
Kiss me hard before you go
Chapter 3
Summary: Summer doesn’t help with the unwanted warm feeling you have for your dad’s best friend, Joel Miller.
Word count: 2.7k (this is lowkey short)
Warnings: Warnings: age gap (19/39), dbf!Joel miller, farmer’s daughter!reader, eventual smut, reader has long hair, game!Joel miller, kissing, fluff, Ellie is kinda annoying, reader has a mom and a dad, reader is also an only child, reader is ashamed of herself for feeling things for Joel miller, Joel has feelings he’s ashamed for as well, reader has anxiety.
A/N: this has taken me so long I’m so sorry everyone! It’s also kinda bad…
Sweat clinged to your clothes as you fed the lambs, the hot summer sun beaming down on the barn. It had been a week since you and Joel almost kissed, and you still haven't talked. The tension between you was almost unbearable, and you had to talk to him soon. Was he avoiding you? You hoped not. The lambs danced around your legs, pulling you out of your thoughts. You finished putting more food in their feeder and headed out of the barn. The hot sun hits your skin when you leave the barn, doing nothing to cool you down from the hot July heat. The crickets sing around you in the fields as you walk over to pet the horse behind the fence. “Hey, buddy” you say to the horse as you start petting his fur. The horse moves closer and you giggle. “You hot too?” you mumble to the horse. A thought pops in your head and you glance over to the hose. A small smile finds your lips as you walk over “you want me to hose you down?” The horse walks over and you pick the hose up. You turn the knob to start the water, and it comes spraying out on the ground. You laugh softly and say, “you ready, buddy?” you lift the hose to the horse’s back and the horse neighs. You laugh and rub his wet fur. “Good boy. You like that, huh? Looks refreshing.” The water hits your skin as you move the hose on yourself, a sigh leaving your lips. The cold water wets your clothes and skin, making your clothes cling to your skin. You spray the horse again and laugh, playing with the horse.
It was Joel's day off, so he was going to finally stop avoiding you. Hopefully. He could probably be doing something else on his day off, but he wanted to see you. Joel knew he couldn't keep avoiding you, he was probably making you rethink everything. He walks out of his house and heads toward his truck, his cowboy boots hitting the gravel driveway. Joel gets in and starts the car, the engine rumbling to life. It was a hot day out, so he rolled the windows down before driving. The drive was peaceful to your house, the summer wind blowing in the car and through his dark hair. The radio plays faintly in the background, a random country song filling the air. He hoped it wouldn't be too awkward, he waited a little too long to talk. Joel pulls into your driveway and glances around to see if there were anyone outside. That's when he caught a glimpse of you. Clothes all wet and clinging to your body, your dress now see-through and showing your bra. You laughed with the horse, oblivious to Joel's gaze. Joel's heart almost stops when he sees you, more than he would usually see. His gaze roams down your body, his throat going dry at the beautiful sight.
You then glance over while laughing and see Joel. Your laughs immediately stop and you start to feel exposed, turning the hose off and covering your chest with your arms. “Joel, what’re you doing here?” you walk up to him.
“Hey, babygirl… i was just comin’ to check up on ya” he says, his voice gruff as he pretends you don't have an effect on him. “You playin’ with the hose?” He questions.
“Just cooling myself down” you say nervously.
He grunts in response and his eyes flicker over you again. You wondered if he still thought about that moment you two had, you always think about it. “Joel, can we tal-” your words were interrupted by your dad.
“Joel, nice to see ya!” your dad says as he walks up to you two. “Honey, why are your clothes wet?” he questions. “I was hot” His brows furrow but quickly brushes it off to talk to Joel. “What’re you doing here, buddy?” Joel's mind goes blank for an answer, and you could see him internally panicking. “I was just checking on y’all, the storm got pretty bad after I left.” Your dad hums in response. “Well that’s nice of ya” his hand comes to pat Joel's back. “Come on inside, the wife will be real happy to see ya”
We walk inside and are met with the smell of lemon, garlic, and chicken. Your mom gasps and walks over. “Joel! Are you joining us for lunch today?” Joel grunts and glances over at your dad. “Join us, it’s a pleasure to have you.” He nods his head and says, “alright.” your mom glances over at you and her brows furrow “honey, did it suddenly rain or something? I can see through everything.” Joel’s eyes flicker over your body again, a heat flaring in his chest at the sight of you. He knew he shouldn’t but looking at you that way, but god did you look so good. “Go get dressed honey, we’re eating soon” your mom says. You nod your head and walk to the stairs slightly embarrassed.
As you walk up the stairs, you think about Joel. He was most definitely looking at you, and it makes you blush. He saw under your clothes. Did he like it? You get to your room and quickly get dressed into a different dress, brushing through your damp hair. Your feelings for Joel were starting to build and you couldn’t stop them. Joel was so handsome, and he was sweet too. He knew you so well, he knew how to comfort you, he knew what made you flustered, the only problem was the age gap and he was also your father’s best friend.
A knock on your door cuts your thoughts and you go to open it. Joel was standing right outside, and he had his hands in his pockets. “Can I come in darlin’?” You nod your head and move to the side so he could come in. “I told your parents I was goin’ to the bathroom… we need to talk darlin’.” your heart speeds up at those words and you nod your head. “Joel I… I didn’t mean for that to happen, I wasn’t thinkin-“
“Babygirl.” Joel’s voice cuts through your words, his hands going to cup your cheeks. His thumbs brush your cheekbones, the tops brushing against your bottom lashes. Your eyes meet his as you look up, and your breath hitches when you realize how close you two are together. His scent fills your senses, and the twist in your stomach tightens. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about it, babygirl… and then I saw you today, I can’t avoid you anymore.” His eyes flicker to your lips for a second, like he couldn’t help himself from looking. You knew he wanted to. He wanted to kiss you, but he couldn’t.
“Joel, I want it so bad… please.”
His breath catches when you say that. He can’t. Yet he didn’t stop himself when he leaned in. His warm breath brushes against your lips and your eyes flutter at the feeling. Joel's hands tilt your head up so he can reach. “Tell me to stop…” he whispers. You shake your head weakly and glance down at his lips. Not being able to hold back any longer, he connects his lips with yours. Your heart jumps and your eyes flutter shut. Joel's lips were warm against yours as he kissed you softly, careful to not hurt you. It was heaven and hell all at once. It felt so good to kiss him, but you knew it was bad. His beard scratches your face as your lips move with his, and his thumbs brush against your cheeks. You tilt your head a little to slot your lips against his better. Joel knew he should stop, but it felt so good. Your soft lips against his made his heart skip a beat. He grunts against your lips and pulls away.
“Sweetheart… we can’t be doing this” he says with his rough voice. Your heart hurts when he says those words, but you knew it wasn’t right to do that with him. It was a guilty pleasure eating you away. He takes a step back and looks away, like he was almost rethinking his thoughts. His heart almost breaks when he sees the expression on your face, he wants to wipe it away. Knowing he made you feel that way hurts him.
“Joel… I’m sorry.”
You felt tears forming in your eyes, and you tried to push them away. It felt so wrong and so right at the same time. He was off-limits, and so were you.
“Don’t apologize, baby girl. We just can’t be doing this anymore.” Joe clears his throat and turns to the door. “I should get going…” he glances over his shoulder at you and you quickly hide your eyes from him. You didn’t want him seeing the tears in your eyes, you wanted to hide the way you truly felt about him. You nod your head and say, “yeah… I’ll meet you down there” your voice cracks, and Joel hears it. He wanted to screw everything and hold you right then and there, but he knew that wasn’t right. So he turns his head back to the door and walks out, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You felt the tears bubbling behind your eyes again and this time you couldn’t stop them. A tear rolls down your face before you could catch it, but this time you aren’t gonna stop them. You knew you had to go down soon, but you couldn’t control your emotions anymore. The thought of Joel being disappointed, makes you almost feel sick. Tears rolled on your face as you thought about him, about what you might’ve ruined with him. You sniffle and wipe your face, trying to get yourself put together for going downstairs and facing him.
Joel walks down the stairs and tries to act like nothing happened, but the thought of your lips were still on his mind. It scared him, knowing he might’ve hurt you. You were an ephemeral. A short, beautiful memory that plagued his mind. It hurt him, knowing you were off-limits. Joel knew it was wrong to think of you that way, but he just couldn’t help it. You were so beautiful, angelic like. He scolded himself every day whenever he got thoughts of you like that. Your dad calls Joel over to the couch and hands him a beer. “Thought you fell in the toilet there for a second, Joel.” he joked. Joel forced a gruff laugh out of him, he knew it was fake. Your dad turns his head back towards the TV, being oblivious.
You quickly glance at yourself in the mirror before heading back downstairs. Facing Joel was going to be hard, but you knew you had to go back downstairs. You smooth out your dress as you walk down the stairs, and you see Joel sitting with your dad on the couch. Your heart flips, knowing you had just kissed him a couple minutes ago. You felt his lips against yours, the memory would never leave your mind again. You walk to the kitchen to go help your mom, trying to find a way to distract your mind from those thoughts. Your mom tells you to start setting the table and you do as told. Joel’s eyes burn holes into your back as he watches you, but your dad snaps him back into reality.
Lunch was finally ready and you all sat down to eat. Joel oddly enough chooses the chair across from you, just so he could see you easily. You pretend not to notice and plate your food, complimenting your mom on how good the food looks. You and Joel both reach for the last roll and your hands touch. Electric sparks spread in your hand as you feel his rough hands brush against your soft hands. Your eyes flicker up to meet his, and he grabs the roll to put it in your hand. Your heart flutters at the kind gesture, and you quickly look down at your food and place the roll on your plate. Joel’s mind races at the thought of you. You were so cute when you were flustered, always trying to avoid his gaze. But he always knew, he could see the soft pink spreading across your cheeks. It made him feel some sort of way, knowing he did that to you.
As you all ate, you could feel Joel’s gaze flickering towards you every once in a while. Sometimes, your eyes would meet. He would quickly look away and pretend to be interested in whatever your dad was saying, but his mind was always on you. He could almost feel your soft lips against his, and god did he want it over and over again. It was eating him away, the need to kiss you.
“Our little sweetheart has been taking such good care of the lambs, haven’t you sweetie?” Your mom says. You nod your head and say, “yeah, they’re growing up to be good lambs. They’re all so sweet” you were thankful for the distraction, needing to think about something other than Joel.
“Maybe you can take Joel over to see them darlin’. That would be nice of you.” Your mom says.
Joel’s eyes meet yours when she says that, and it registers in your brain that you would be alone again.
“Uh, yeah… I can do that after lunch.” You say with a soft smile, acting like your heart wasn’t beating crazy. “Thank you, darlin’. I have some other work to do so I won’t be joinin’ Y’all. That’ll be okay, right?”
Joel nods his head and says “yeah, don’t mind at all. She’ll keep me company.” His voice dripped with teasing, and it was meant only for you to hear. The air shifts as you meet his eyes, and your heart hammers. You needed to be alone with him again, and going with him to the lambs was the perfect opportunity.
You help your mom bring dishes to the sink as your dad and Joel talk by the door. “Sweetheart, go ahead and take Joel to the lambs, I don’t need help anymore.” Your mom says. You nod your head and say “okay, mama” and walk over to the door. Your boots fit snug on your feet as you slip them on, and you could feel Joel’s eyes on your back as you lean over.
The warm heat hits your skin as you walk out with your dad and Joel, and you could already feel sweat building. Your dad says goodbye and heads off into the distance, leaving you and Joel alone on the porch.
“Well… follow me to the lambs” you say awkwardly, trying to act like you weren’t kissing him an hour ago. Joel follows behind you as you walk with your hands in front of you, fiddling with your fingers to try and calm yourself down. Joel feels the awkwardness in the air, and he feels guilty in some way. Like he was the one making you feel it. Which was true.
Joel and you walk into the barn together and the lambs come prancing towards you, bringing a smile to your face. You lean down and grab a lamb. “Aren’t they precious?” You say as you glance over to Joel. Unknowing to you, Joel has been watching you this entire time. His arms were crossed against his chest, and he was leaning against the barn wall. “Yeah… you look cute with ‘em.” He says gruffly. Your heart skips a beat and you stand up with the lamb in your hand. The hay brushes against your boots as you walk towards Joel.
“About what happened earlier… it was totally a mistake, and I’m really sor-“ you get interrupted by Joel.
“Babygirl, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. We just have some things we might need to talk about…”
You nod your head and set the lamb down. You braced yourself for the worst, Joel regretting it, or even worse, being disappointed by you. But you knew this talk had to come.
Taglist: @anheloamores @nativedoe @kindaouttaluckl
Actually so done with life I’m always trying my hardest for everyone and I’m always starting conversations with people. I just met this girl and I lowkey have a crush on her and she isn’t even putting any effort into texting me it’s so annoying I just want friends
I love my little pony soooo much it’s my favorite show😁
This reminds me of kiss me hard before you go🥹 reader loves lambs
Hey guys!! Sorry chapter 3 is taking soooo long to get out I’m a very good procrastinator:) but I think it will be out soon the only bad thing is it will only be about 3k words… I just need to get it out its been too long! Hopefully I can write more in the future😁
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Fic idea: dbf!joel comes to your house to watch the Super Bowl with your dad… and you guys have so much tension it’s too hard to ignore😛
