; dig up the bones, leave the soul alone

Christian (Kristjan) Saar, 300+, Vampire (A former warlock)

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

“What, immortality? Improved senses, devilishly good looks, knowledge of the past far better than any historian? The ability to control a mind if I concentrate long enough? What’s not to like?” Maddi said lightly. There was lots to dislike, and Maddi knew this. He had lived in the shadows from the moment he became a monster. He had watched his friends grow old without him, watched his mother die alone. Attended all their funerals - though no one knew. He had to feed on the blood of humans or supernatural creatures just to survive, and that thirst was never fully quenched. He could never stay in one place too long, as someone would surely notice he didn’t age. He was an outcast, carrying this heavy burden, a secret he couldn’t share with anyone who wasn’t like him. He could never start a family of his own with normal people, and his kind were hunted day and night.  There was a lot to dislike, but Maddi didn’t care anymore. Moping over what he was got him nowhere.  “I’d say it’s not all bad.” he went on, ignoring the question about his own creation. He could talk about himself without actually talking about himself. “If you’re so miserable, just lop off your head and be done with it. Seems you may not have found a lot to live for, but an awful lot to die for.”

[viitsima]

“I find my surroundings overwhelming even without being heightened by my senses. Don’t see many benefits there.” And as for the rest...well, Chris never wanted to live forever. He saw it as more of a burden, really; having to watch people die, having to fight getting attached to them and even more so being afraid of people getting attached to him. Because that turned out well the last time. Even the ‘good looks’ came as a burden. Many would call him ungrateful; this man certainly would – but he couldn’t help it. This was not a life he’d imagined for himself. He wondered...”Do you remember the last emotion you felt as your living self?” slipped past his lips. “I feel like...it’s impossible to escape from. Like whatever you died feeling is whatever will haunt you till the rest of your other life.” Was this only him? What a strange emotion Maddi provoked with such question, that it almost felt as a challenge, to off himself and he felt disgusted with himself that even for a second he had that instinct of saying I accept. “My mother said that you survive only as long as you don’t stop fighting. I guess not ending myself keeps up the illusion of me being alive, which is the only time I remember being remotely happy.” It sounded dark, and it was, but he didn’t ponder over it too often in that way. Not consciously. “Maybe I’d let you take a shot at me, if you ever needed an outlet for your frustrations. Though I’d most likely put up a fight. I like to believe I would.” What a weird conversation this was.

[surgein-sergio-deactivated20160]

Was it surprising that he had found his way to a place like this? Not really. With all of the time he had on his hands from still being unemployed all he really had to do was poke around and stay on guard. Except there wasn’t really a need to since the citizens in this town were relatively mild mannered. It was.. a nice change of pace for once. Before he had reached Winter Haven it had been one being after the next that needed to be cut down, but here? He could actually enjoy the warming air around him whenever he strolled outside. It was a change, but a good one he supposed though it did little when he compared it to his main objective.

Yet, back to current time where his legs had stilled so he could gaze at the looming house of a holy building. With his hands stuffed into his pockets and his shades on he had merely intended to admire the architecture before he moved on. Seems like his lingering was too long. His eyes traveled before the rest of his head did when he ‘heard’ someone speak. The tinnitus wasn’t unbearable today, but it was still there ringing dully in the thick of his ears. “Oh, sorry about that,” he said with an apologetic smile as he side stepped out of the way.

[viitsima]

Annoyed as he’d been and seemingly ready to pick a fight, having been responded in courteous manner quenched his thirst (not that thirst) for a quarrel. Manners weren’t as present in this modern era as much as Chris would’ve liked them to be, so he’d grown quite appreciative of such little things. Little things seemed to make an immortal’s life interesting more than the big ones; perhaps because those who lived long have seen so much that their mind focused only on the big events. Wars, revolutions, natural disasters – whatever would change the course of history. And then tiniest thing happens, a thank you where you don’t see it coming, and it touches you in a way you wouldn’t expect.

“It’s quite alright.” A left corner of his lips tugged upwards in a subtle but present manner, and he remained fixated on the figurine while carving out the remaining details. “You should have the freedom of standing wherever you like, but here I chose to monopolize it because I prefer curing my boredom in the sun.” he huffed at the irony of it. A vampire enjoying the sun, even if it did make him feel ill. A fellow vampire once asked him how that works, but he couldn’t explain to her that it’s partially a masochistic tendency and partially a placebo effect. That he’d convinced himself into still possessing some of the warlock abilities that becoming a vampire had taken away from him; that he was still inclined towards pyrokinesis and that sun made him feel stronger. Guess if you live long enough you can train yourself into believing your own lies.

[viitsima]

“You must’ve then lived a life far more exciting than I. No one has ever made an attempt on my life, if we ignore the obvious one.” The bitterness he held for his maker has never went away, not even dulled, ever present there, right under his skin like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He figured he’d already come too close to cannibalism with his feeding habits and attempting to scratch that itch with his own fangs would be…a tad much. Not that it didn’t cross his mind, not that he didn’t have masochistic tendencies of his own. Suppose that’s what happens when you live forever; just like with the rich people who can afford it all – nothing seems to hold your attention anymore. “I have yet to be surprised by humans.” Humans have never done him any wrong, but those alike him…that was another story. “Sounds like you wouldn’t mind being besties with him if he was interested in it. It’s more than it can be said for me.” At least that God listened to all who wished to interact with him – but the Gods he wanted to worship paid no interest in him. He was no more part of his cult, of his coven; he was like a lone wolf, isolated from a pack. There was no worship ground for him – all he could do was…stay alive. “I think I might have a Devil on my shoulder, so I wouldn’t know much about his better counterpart. I can tell you that this one’s more of a…active doer than an observer.” He huffed out a sardonic exhale. “I give you permission to laugh –“ he offered an interlude before extending his hand out “I’m Christian.”

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

“I’m not.” Maddi said jokingly since they were on the topic of religion. He shook the man’s hand firmly. “Daughtry Maddison. But Maddi will do just fine.” Only his mother had called him by his first name, and usually when she was angry with him. He always felt as though he were in trouble upon hearing it from anyone else, even though his mother was long dead.  “So, is it that Devil on your shoulder that prompts your risky behaviour, or is that all you? Feeding on vampires can be risky, as I’m sure you’re aware. On a human it’s much easier. Safer for us. Not as good mind you, but living this long is only worth it if you can ensure your well-being.”  Maddi had once made a harmless bet with another vampire in the past to see who could live the longest. Maddi had won, then taken the bet upon himself to keep going. It was a bit ironic that he was so desperate to stay alive, yet lived a rather risky lifestyle. After all, Christian could pounce on him at any second and drain him completely if Maddi pissed him off.  “If we’re intending to continue sitting out here like a couple of old men exchanging war stories, can I ask about your maker?” he said, keeping a keen eye on Christian. Nothing more interesting than a good origin story, especially since he considered his own so dull.

[viitsima]

“Maddi.” He nodded and repeated, if only to assure easier memorization of the name, knowing that he could often have a memory equivalent to gold fish when it came to names. Though something told him this one he’d have harder time forgetting. “I can’t tell the difference, anymore, to be quite honest.” But most likely, it was all him. Some have pointed out to him that his behavior lately has been, for the lack of better word, careless – as if he’d been purposely trying to find a way for someone to end his misery but himself. Because if he was a coward. What other explanation could there be, seeing how he’s been alive for over three hundred years without wanting to be that way? To delve further into the subject threatened to make it personal, way more intimate than one with a stranger should be, but Christian didn’t care a whole lot about it. “I haven’t found anything worth living for in 320 years. If it had been up to me, I would’ve stayed hanging on that tree to which locals condemned me.” As personal as he didn’t mind to be, his jaw clenched at the question of his maker “He was selfish. Forced a choice upon me that I’d never personally make, just because he couldn’t stand being alone. I was in...” he cut himself off, that smile from seconds ago long gone by now. “There’s nothing more to be said. He made me this way. I didn’t choose it.” Trying to mask his face expressionless, lips tightened in a narrow straight line, he asked “What about your maker? Is this something you find enjoyable?”

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

Maddi laughed and shrugged a little. “I’m a bit hedonistic.” he admitted. For someone like him who had seen and done it all, it was getting more and more difficult to find something that interested him. He had tried nearly every hobby you could think of and had seen every movie that had come out since movies were made and read just about as many books. He was sure this man was the same, having been born before him. How strange they could chat so casually about being older than any human would believe. Then again, the Bible did state that the first humans lived to be over nine hundred years old. But nowadays any regular person would just go out on the town with friends for fun, not try and tempt a fellow vampire to sink his fangs into their neck. “These days it’s either kill or be killed, feast or be feasted on. Not necessarily for sexual pleasure, but that’s another story.” he said. “And God and I don’t really get along. Literally rising from my coffin kind of tore us apart.”  He raised his hand with his fingers crossed, then uncrossed them to a ‘v’. “We’re more like this now. Hard to call myself a follower of God, unless he really intended for the undead to rise and drink the blood of humans and monsters alike.” he said. “I’m sure we’ve all done horrible things in the eyes of God, yet we’re still here. He must enjoy watching.” 

[viitsima]

“You must’ve then lived a life far more exciting than I. No one has ever made an attempt on my life, if we ignore the obvious one.” The bitterness he held for his maker has never went away, not even dulled, ever present there, right under his skin like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He figured he’d already come too close to cannibalism with his feeding habits and attempting to scratch that itch with his own fangs would be...a tad much. Not that it didn’t cross his mind, not that he didn’t have masochistic tendencies of his own. Suppose that’s what happens when you live forever; just like with the rich people who can afford it all – nothing seems to hold your attention anymore. “I have yet to be surprised by humans.” Humans have never done him any wrong, but those alike him...that was another story. “Sounds like you wouldn’t mind being besties with him if he was interested in it. It’s more than it can be said for me.” At least that God listened to all who wished to interact with him – but the Gods he wanted to worship paid no interest in him. He was no more part of his cult, of his coven; he was like a lone wolf, isolated from a pack. There was no worship ground for him – all he could do was...stay alive. “I think I might have a Devil on my shoulder, so I wouldn’t know much about his better counterpart. I can tell you that this one’s more of a...active doer than an observer.” He huffed out a sardonic exhale. “I give you permission to laugh –“ he offered an interlude before extending his hand out “I’m Christian.”

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

Maddi only grinned cheekily at the man’s response. Ok, so two could play at the little game he’d started. Fair enough. After all, he had invited the man to participate. “On mortals? Ouch.” he said, sounding sarcastically offended. “Look mate, I didn’t live through three centuries to sit at some bench outside a church next to a bloke like you to be called a mortal.” Ok so he had given himself away, but he was sure that the man must’ve already guessed what he was. Maybe it was his ego that made him get so defensive about what he was, or maybe he was still - after all this time - trying to convince himself that he was truly as old as he was, and that the last two hundred and eighty six years since he was turned into a vampire hadn’t been a lie.  “If you want to compare historical timelines back to the 1700′s we can. But you seem itching for something a little more intimate. Or at least, you’re trying to hold yourself back.” Maddi knew that with every feeding, there was a risk that someone could go too far and an equal chance that someone would get hurt. But who was he to turn down the possibility for some excitement?

[viitsima]

Christian has never been a fan of miscommunication as a plot device, both on television and in real life, which is why having caused such situation managed to tear out a small laughter past his lips. It was as if a tad of his previous tension had seeped away and out of his bones, and he was now the one to ridicule “I believe you misunderstood my implications – and lost the game you were trying to play with me, in the meanwhile.” The man had been trying to have him outed and yet he outed himself, for all the wrong reasons. “I wasn’t implying that you are a mortal, but rather that you make a tempting snack. I could tell you are of my own kin, because of my penchant for your blood.” This man was old, but if he was telling the truth, not as old (though close) as Christian was. Not that it mattered, anyway; he wasn’t interested in testing the theory of age being a crucial determinant in a combat between two vampires. He wasn’t interested in combating anyone, for that matter. No, Christian was way too phlegmatic when unprovoked, and though this man seemingly enjoyed taunting him, it took stronger effort and combination of other factors to have him lose his calm. But once he did...”I am native to the 1600’s, actually – though I don’t see the significance that holds unless you’re threatening me. Or trying to get me to feed on you, as if that is a kink of yours. In which case, we could make arrangements, if you don’t mind the God looking.” He uttered His name cynically, glancing at the church by their sides.

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

“Yeah, I have that affect on people.” Maddi said lightheartedly. Though usually he just had a habit of irritating people. He was too curious for his own good and hardly took anything seriously, which he knew could piss people off. Not to mention the fact that he liked to tease and push his luck. He’d gotten himself into trouble more than once and rarely learned from his mistakes. But so long as it was harmless fun, he didn’t mind messing with people.  “Bet it gets pretty difficult controlling that thirst of yours huh?” he added, sitting down next to the man. “Especially when you’re out here, in the eyes of regular citizens, having to behave yourself. I admire the challenge you’ve presented yourself.” 

[viitsima]

Mundanes would say that an oversized ego is a sign of an underlying issue originating from deeply rooted childhood issues; and they’d be wrong, with their constant need to psychoanalyze everyone and everything. It could just as likely be a part of someone’s personality for no apparent reason but confidence – and he figured this man had plenty to be confident about. The skills they possessed, they were quite handy, even if he loathed them – and this man was fairly attractive as well (he didn’t like using heightened sight, but in plain sight he was not blind); his current life must not be that terrible. Though he ran cold, it was almost as if a flicker of candle burned gently against his shoulder and he dared not to breathe as the man sat by his side. Finally, he craned his neck so the two faced each other and he leaned in the other’s space as if he was to whisper him a secret. An inch away from his earlobe he said “I don’t feed on mortals.” And retreated only barely, still dangerously proximate to the man, enough for him to feel Chris’s breath against his skin “Admire that.”

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

Of course the first thing Maddi really noticed about the other was a kind of invisible electricity between them, similar to the feeling between two people when both knew each other’s secret, but were trying to conceal the fact, while at the same time knowing the other knew what they knew. Maddi frowned a little at the complicated analogy his brain had come up with. He could practically see the other man’s hunger rising. After all, being a vampire himself, it was hard not to notice the things he himself would try to conceal from others. And of course the unique accent stood out. Northern European if he guessed correctly, though he was a little rusty with naming accents these days. It had been some time since he had been back to Europe after all. Nevertheless, though Maddi may not be the best at sensing what specifically supernatural beings were, he was fairly certain this man was like him. Always fun to run into another vampire he’d never met. Especially around these parts when everyone of their kind seemed to know each other. “Well, you’re quite good, I’ll give you that.” he said, gesturing to the raven. “I bet it helps keep you distracted. Calms the nerves and all that.” Now he was just teasing the man, wanting to see if the other would reveal himself for what he really was.

[viitsima]

“...and he does that thing where he stares at me, rudely. It’s not your regular eye contact – I mean, sure, you want people to look you in the eyes when they’re talking to you, but you want to have them blink and look away every now and then. But he just kept my gaze, for infinitely long. It was unsettling...” When you’re as long as Christian was, odds are someone would gossip about you once or twice in a century, at very least – and having an extra sensitive pair of ears, he couldn’t have missed out on these observations some time ago. The words rang clear in his head again, seemingly appropriate for this occasion, because he couldn’t tear his eyes off of this man – even less now that he was aware the other was taunting him. Did he not understand just how labile of a persona Christian was? That though his name signified so and though they were in front of a church, nothing would stop him from sinking teeth into this man should he snap? Perhaps the fact that they were in public did cripple him only slightly, but certainly wasn’t a guarantee of safety, knowing his previous behavior. It’s why he was here, after all (or so he told himself) – why he couldn’t stay long in one place. “Not right now, no.” He admitted purposely, unveiling a glimpse at the tips of his fangs as his eyes roamed across another’s features with...quite an interest. “I find your presence more distracting.”

[dmaddison-deactivated20180528]

Being unemployed and having no real need to be anywhere in particular at any given time, Maddi had become somewhat of a wanderer. Though often he preferred to be sociable, Maddi also enjoyed his own company. He could wander around for hours simply passing through every street and alley as casually as he pleased, knowing eventually he’d stumble across something interesting.  That something was the dark haired man sitting near the church, hacking away at something. What that something was, Maddi couldn’t tell from a distance, so he boldly - but casually - walked over, not realizing he had just hindered the man’s work.  “No, not rude at all.” he said, stepping aside, glad to be in the shade anyway. “Is it rude of me to ask what you’re working on?”

[viitsima]

Like a sight of lemon would coat a human’s mouth with saliva by reflex (or so he’d been told), the second two emeralds of Christian’s eyes settled upon the other, his own mouth watered. Though his senses had been dormant just a second ago, he could tell when he was in presence of another of his kin. He wasn’t sure if that was a regular occurrence, if this stranger could tell so too; while he had ‘lived’ for over three hundred years, he avoided conversing with others like himself for long enough to find specifics about being undead. In fact, the only contact he had with vampires was when he fed on them, so that might’ve been why he could tell. God, he’d drank an hour ago, why was he always so insatiable? Having caught himself in staring at the other man for a moment too long, without having said a word in response, he tried to keep himself composed before he was to utter anything. “It’s...” his hands stilled, for he felt uneasy all of a sudden, vulnerable and exposed and he absolutely loathed just how randomly emotions overpowered him, making no sense whatsoever. He figured if he was to continue with carving, he’d end up crumbling the figurine in between his fingers without having any intent to do so – having no control over himself at the moment, and all that jazz. Adam’s apple bobbed up and down on his neck “A raven. I...carve. I find it soothing.” Although he’d been speaking this language longer than he had his mother’s one, it still felt wrong on his lips, and he felt wrong in this skin, like he didn’t belong. “Both carving and ravens.”

[viitsima]

With a Swiss-made carving knife, nimble fingers worked around the basis of a raven he’d previously molded wood into, only working precise details into the basswood now. His brows were furrowed in a focused, perplexed even manner, torso leaning forward in one of the benches in front of the St. Haven’s Church; he was squinting at the raven’s wings, almost unaware of his surroundings regardless of the heightened senses he possessed. Taking a cautious deep inhale, as if a non calculated one would disturb the delicate artwork, he expressed frustration as someone (intentionally or not) cast a shadow on him, cutting off the much needed source of light to finish this piece properly. “Sitt.” he mumbled under his breath and without so much as taking his eyes off the figurine, he asked in rich baritone: “Would it be terribly rude of me to ask for you to move slightly aside? You’re clouding the sun.” 

[viitsima]

Basic Information

Full Name: Kristjan Saar

Nickname(s): Chris

Age: 26/320

Date of Birth: June 3rd, 1695

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Hometown: Obinitsa, Estonia

Current Location: Winter Haven, Maine

Ethnicity: Estonian

Nationality: Estonian-American

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Orientation: Bisexual

Religion: Paganism 

Political Affiliation: Has no interest in politics, could be considered anarchist at times

Occupation: Antiquarian 

Living Arrangements: Cabin in the Outskirts

Language(s) Spoken: English, Spanish, rusty Estonian and tiptoeing around Slavic languages

Accent: Ocassionally draggs out “O’s”, shortens “I’s” and raises pitch on “R’s” as a force of habit he desperately clings on.

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Matthew Daddario

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Green

Height: 6′2′’

Weight: Around 194lbs

Build: Muscular

Tattoos: Shoulder raven 

Piercings: None

Clothing style: Blacks and grays, leather mostly.

Health

Sleeping Habits: 5AM to 8AM

Eating Habits: Feeds on vampires twice a day, usually every 6-7 hours

Exercise Habits: Twice a day, every day

Emotional Stability: 3/10, Radical shifts from passiveness to explosive behavior

Sociability: Indifferent to people, majority of the time; requires extensive alone time.

Body Temperature: Runs cold

Addictions: Fire, blood, liquor

Drug Use: None

Alcohol Use: Yes

Personality

Label: The Damned

Positive Traits: Empathizing, strategic, resourceful

Negative Traits: Self loathing, repressed, irritable

Fears: Betrayal

Hobbies: Collecting antiquities, carving wood, cello playing

Favourites

Weather: Fall

Color: Black

Music: Russian romanticism (classical)

Movies: None

Sport: None

Beverage: Whiskey

Food: Stake

Animal: Raven

Family

Father: Unknown

Mother: Helena Saar/Witch/Deceased

Sibling(s): Three sisters, witches, deceased: Liisbet, Maia, Kaja

Pet(s): Pet raven, Laslow

Extra

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

MBTI: ISTJ

Enneagram: Type Five

Temperament: Melancholic-choleric

Moral Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Primary Vice: Wrath/Gluttony

Primary Virtue: Diligence

Element: Fire