I can't feel pain!

general menhera info archive. if you don't want something rb'd here send ask

[girlyholic]

I absolutely had to share this very important addition to the Jirai/Girly history books.

Shibuya 109 currently has a Yamikawaii event happening, and it contains a full history of modern Yamikawaii aesthetics, with English text! And we now have an official fashion source that pinpoints the origin of Jirai-Kei as 2019, which is what I have always maintained.

I hope this is enough evidence for those who still think I like to lie for no reason about Jirai-Kei being a modern rename of a preexisting fashion!

- 🎀 Mari 🎀

[barelysurvived]

Eating Disorder Recovery Websites

Eating Disorder Recovery Websites:

- https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org Dedicated to advocacy for eating disorder recovery. It provides resources to spread awareness and recovery. It also provides stories of hope that encourages others to seek out recovery.

-  http://eatingdisorderrecovery.com/index.php/home - Features a free eating disorder recovery workbook that helps you manage eating disorder symptoms. Includes blogs to help inspire eating disorder recovery. Allows visitors to post and discuss problems and questions in a forum that is monitored.

-  http://eatingdisorderscoalition.org/ - Advocacy at its best! This site is your guide to help get legislators and representatives to hear your voice and get legal action for eating disorder help and recovery. You can find facts and information about eating disorders on this site. You can learn how you can advocate and lobby for eating disorder recovery at the federal and state level.

- https://mentorconnect-ed.org/finding-support/ The website is still active due to the additional resources it provides on this page specifically. While in business it paired mentors and mentees together to help those who are struggling with an eating disorder to share experiences, provide guidance, and help navigate through the journey of recovery. 

- https://www.theprojectheal.org “Project HEAL’s vision is to create a world where everyone with an eating disorder has the opportunities & resources they need to heal. Our programs break down systemic, healthcare, and financial barriers that millions of people in the U.S. face when trying to heal from their eating disorder.”

- https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com “The Alliance offers comprehensive services, including:

Free, therapist-staffed helpline offering support and referrals to all levels of care.

Comprehensive and interactive referral website and app, findEDhelp.com.

Free, weekly, therapist-led support groups nationwide (virtual and in-person) for those experiencing eating disorders and for their loved ones.

Educational presentations and training days.” And more

[violencetrigger]

ik it's hot shit coming from me but we really should do our best to remind people that "mental selfharm" exists just like physical self harm and that it isn't just self loathing thoughts. it can be a serious issue that will help escalate things into physical selfharm or cause such mental damage that i don't even want to picture. it isn't just a case of "keep your mental health in check" as i say this,

mental selfharm is consistently doomscrolling well aware it isn't going to get better for the time being on your timelines/for you's, purposefully going into certain spaces in hopes someone insults you just for standing there or being fully aware you'll get ignored if not outright picking fights and make yourself feel worse, playing shit you're aware will make you feel worse if things don't go as planned and probably many more not listed here.

there have been many times where i've been too tired or outright unable to harm myself physically or take my emotions and pain out into something to help ease myself. instead i'd go down rabbit holes to make myself suffer more mentally because in the moment i kept telling myself "i deserve it" just to make myself feel worse. watching drama on things i couldn't care about initially, purposefully putting myself into spots to be bullied more and so on, at one point because the amount of damage this left me with i went MIA for months and felt like entire days if not weeks passed unable to recall or do much because i just ended up staying in bed not even wanting to check social media because i felt like i deserved it due to being too tired/weak to give into fully offing myself or harming myself physically.

and there's a chance someone could also be going through the same shit not aware of it at all. please remember mental selfharm is a thing while also keeping in mind your mental health

[menhera-info-archieve]

Why Menhera is about Mental Health, not Mental Illness

I think a lot of people get confused about what the difference between these two things is, especially since it's common to use these phrases interchangeably. Technically speaking though, these terms have different meanings:

mental health: a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community

mental illness: [medical] conditions that affect a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, or behavior

It's important to note that mental health doesn't exclusively pertain to people with mental illnesses. According to Christopher M. Palmer, “The term ‘mental health’ implies the absence of illness or disorder. But there are a lot of ways people can be mentally healthy or ill, just like there are many ways to be physically healthy or unwell.”

Focusing on menhera, part of the reason the movement is about mental health is because of Japan's culture and the fact that diagnosis isn't as common/emphasized there. This is something that has already been better explained than others, so rather than trying to reword them I'll give a few articles that help explain this

mental health ≠ mental illness

The origin and birth of Menhera

Menhera as Art and Subculture

What I think I can break down is how much different the movement would look if it was only about mental illness vs how open it is when we talk about mental health!

If the movement is only about mental illness, then we are claiming this is a space only for people with a diagnosis/ labeled mental illness. This can lead to arguments about the validity of self diagnosis and whether or not you need official diagnosis to take part in the community, something that can be observed in other mental illness related communities/tags. Even if we try to be open and say all those people are allowed, people will likely feel anxious and think things like "am i mentally ill enough to call myself menhera?" It also means that as people recover, they may feel forced to move on from the community as they stop meeting the criteria for their diagnoses (if they do).

But because the menhera movement is about mental health we don't have to worry about formal diagnosis at all. Menhera is a community for anyone who has struggled mentally in any way ever. Of course people with mental illness are still welcome and will make up a significant part of the community, but because it's open to all, people can focus on their recovery without feeling like they'll be pushed out of the community because they "don't qualify" anymore. It also allows people with a variety of different situations to join, such as (but not limited to):

lgbtq+ people, people of color, physically disabled people, and other minorities who don't have mental illness but experience pain and mental health struggles due to discrimination.

people with chronic illness/physical conditions, who may struggle with mental health due to physical pain, discrimination, and other struggles that aren’t mental illness.

people who have trouble with symptoms, but don't meet full criteria for any official diagnoses (ex: people who struggle to focus but don't have ADHD, people who benefit from DBT skills that don't have BPD, etc.)

people who probably have a mental illness, but can't afford to go to therapy, aren't ready for therapy, don't have access, etc.

people who are considered "weird" or "sick" by society (think like how kink is a theme in menhera because kink/sexual desire are stigmatized)

young people who are struggling because growing up is hard/they have heightened emotions/etc.

people dealing with normal stressors (work, school, etc.) but need an outlet or place to vent

and plenty more i'm not thinking of, I'm sure

Hopefully this puts some perspective on the difference between mental health/illness and why menhera focuses on mental health!

[fyeahgirlykei]

Where to Find... Plus Size Girly Kei Fashion

Let’s have a look at some brands that specialize in plus sizes and carry Girly kei clothes. Because Chinese and Japanese sizes trend smaller than many Western clothing companies, it can sometimes be harder to find Jfashion clothing when you don’t wear an American small. Japanese and Chinese plus size brands tend to cover a range from what is still straight size in the US, up to what is also considered plus size here.

Note: translator extensions may be necessary, and you may need to use a shopping service to get things from some of these brands internationally. Info on how to buy from Taobao if you are outside China can be found here.

Taberunosky (Japan) 

A recent romantic girly brand that carries sizes LL - 5L (sold through angeLsize which carries a variety of cute plus size clothing).

Part of their concept is the joy of eating delicious food, so some of their clothes have cute motifs like this blouse with an embroidered cat licking its lips.

angeLsize (Japan)

Let’s have a spot for angeLsize as well. They feature Taberunosky but that isn’t all they carry! Their size range is LL - 7L (and some ever larger). They also carry accessories, bras, underwear, costumes, and some very cheesy looking novelty lingerie.

One drawback of angeLsize is that not all their clothes are shown on models, and, mysteriously, not all their models are plus size.

DearMyLoveWhip (Japan)

The recently introduced sister brand to DearMyLove and carries sizes 4L and 5L. The original DearMyLove (found on the same site) carries up to 3L. This brand is still new, and we will let you all know if they expand their size range further in the future.

Compared to the other brands here, DearMyLoveWhip still has a pretty limited selection, but what they have is cute. Several of their dresses come in a long or short option, which is nice.

Hard Candy (China)

Hard Candy carries a variety of plus size cute styles, including lolita, school uniform inspired clothes, and even occasionally menhera. They have a lot! If you look you are sure to find something for Girly!

They also sometimes do Sanrio collabs.

Fat Fairy (China)

This a brand that carries a lot of different items, including bras and leggings. Their categories include specific sections for large bust, short height, and clothes that can be worn while pregnant.

I think of all the brands here, Fat Fairy has the most clothing that also crosses over into mainstream fashion territory, so it would be a good one to check out if you want a lot of versatility.

Big Lolita (China)

Despite the name, this is not a purely lolita brand, they are overall more girly. They also sell bras and socks.

Some of what they have in their lolita section even reads more as girly to me…

Stolen Orange Flavor (China)

This brand carries a lot of soft, romantic Girly clothes, with some darker pieces mixed in. They also carry swimsuits.

Some of their clothes are a bit more simple than other brands, but basics and comfort are just as important as frills and rhinestones.

Jennifer Girl (China)

This store’s main thing is plus size replicas of Japanese girly brands that run very small (some are less obvious, just the same design, while others do have brand names). I know there are people who feel that any kind of replica is unacceptable, however I wanted to include them anyway, both so people can know the option exists, and so they can avoid being scammed by secondhand sellers who would try to pass off replicas as genuine brand pieces.

Also all their models have their faces covered by this terrifying baby emoji

[girlyholic]

「青文字系ファッション」っていったい何？

青文字系と呼ばれるファッションのジャンルがあります。青文字系とはいったい何を、どんなスタイルを指すのでしょうか？　ファッションライターの佐藤あさひさんに、青文字系ファッションの特徴やブランドについて、くわしく教えてもらいました。

In case the link ever goes down, here is an archived version.

Some people might not be aware, but Girly Kei is one of the very few fashions that is both a Akamoji (Shibuya) and Aomoji (Harajuku) style and therefore featured in both of Mynavi's articles.

As usual, dated illustrations.

[violencetrigger]

also for the sake of my sanity i've decided to redesign the blog theme to not be my obscurish interest. being very polite

recent "menhera's" and the like don't know how to even treat a character with respect

[violencetrigger]

average circa 202X menhera tag appearance

[hikidreams]

I'm a little confused about your post about being menhera (the message of the post itself is good and important!). I thought menhera referred to the fashion and that one didn't need to have a mental illness or other illness to engage?

Menhera originates from “mental healthers”, people who’d chat about their mental health together. From that a vent art movement grew, and from that the fashion.

Some people are of the opinion that you shouldn’t wear the fashion unless you have a mental/physical illness, because “it isn’t meant for you”. I am not of that opinion.In my opinion, if you see menhera and you relate to it then it is for you.But, also in my opinion, chances are if you relate to it then you do have a (un/diagnosed) mental illness or history of illness, otherwise you probably just wouldn’t relate to it.

Most of the original “mental healthers” wouldn’t have had diagnosed mental illnesses anyway, because Japan doesn’t have a strong culture of doing that. But they were suffering, mentally (or physically), and that’s why they created a place to find comfort, and art to vent their feelings. 

Hope that helps to explain it a bit!

[souisde4d]

on lovely lors video

the war between the fashion gaijin landmines and edgy little tiktok kids who forbid people to wear style(/j) continues i wont uncover any new information. i just want to remind you that looking for idols to dictate your thoughts is bad, as well as not being open to alternative opinions in a discussion you will also not be able to get exactly the 100% right information from communicating with a japanese person. there are reasons for this - 1) misinfo and lack of knowledge, 2) cultural differences, 3) language barrier. dont expect that every japanese knows more than you do from your fav influencer just keep in mind that jirai kei trend started with people imitating toyoko kids "psycho bitches" by dressing up in girly brands and doing byoujaku makeup. jirai was "based" on clothes that were already on sale at the time. they couldnt suddenly go from "yeah we sell girly" to "actually this fashion is called landmine". landmines still wear girly (not to mention other jfashion), and girly fashion, just like any other, changes the clothes worn by toyoko kids existed before 2020. girly, yamikawa, goth punk, mizuiro, etc also did not appear after 2020. look at the old pre-2020 girly brands' releases and you can easily call them jirai. for example, here's pre-2020 (2019) liz lisa:

however, the problem is that there was no such subculture [jirai] or as some like to call it "uwu fashion for everyone" back then thus, jirai meant what it meant and still means today. you just cant live in a world where girly and 2020 "frilly pinks and blacks fashion" called "landmine" for some reason, which westerners love to "wear", coexist "jirai" is a colloquialism, used for anything that initially seemed good but turned out to be crappy. the whole concept about 地雷女子 or jirai joshi is "a woman that looks neat at first glance but is unstable so shes not suitable for relationship", so i dont understand why you find it strange that jirai has been so promoted by elegant girly fashion brands that want to make money off of you, since nobody wants to go bankrupt "jirai fashion" is a collective concept that includes everything worn by landmines. and yet i cant recall anything like "yamikawaii doesnt exist its actually jirai!!!" by westerners

[girlytips]

「地雷女」とは？　特徴8つ＆地雷女にならないポイント

「外見にだまされた！」「付き合ってみたらイメージと違った」……など、見た目では分からないダークな本性を持っている女性を「地雷女」と言うそうです。今回は男性たちの体験談を基に地雷女の特徴と、ならないためのポイントをアドバイスします。

Here is yet another example of jirai kei still meaning what it always has. This is an "article" from a magazine talking about "jirai kei behavior" including a poll on whether its worth dating landmine-type women and why. It also talks about how to avoid becoming jirai kei and how to tell if you already are.

[fymenhera-deactivated20181216]

Medical=/=Instant Menhera

Why do some people think slapping on medical stuff makes an outfit instantly Menhera? That’s not how it works, else it would be called “Medical Kei”™ or something else along those lines instead of a term that stems from a mental health board. Most of the outfits posted here don’t even feature more than 1-3 medical accessories, if they feature some to begin with, as they only exist to highlight that the top’s print is about an illness (the whole “you don’t look sick” thing, invisible illness, etc). Just because a fashion got some iconic feature, it doesn’t mean your outfit will be better with increasing its amount. If you wear billions of coffin and cross necklaces for goth, you will look bad. If you sew on billion layers of lace for lolita, you will look bad. Could go on forever. Less is more.

[snufkinlovemail-deactivated2019]

Reminder that Ezaki Bisuko did not create the yamikawaii or menhera subcultures! Considering him as the creator is extremely disrespectful to those who had worked in the movemmt before Bisuko’s comic popularized it! Menhera culture isn’t a light subject, and discrediting those who had participated in the past is disrespectful.

Menhera culture is a movement to end the stigmatism surrounding mental health and to raise awareness, being uneducated and spreading misinformation about the subject is very harmful.

And while i have your attention, adding “kei” to the end of menhera turns it into an insult.

[arienetteandthewolves]

Yami Kawaii DIY home decor 🖤 Surgical Tray

[menherasy]

original callout post is by @menheratic !! if you want more info, please ask them. i am merely reuploading the original callout post of ezaki. please do check out the link of the jp community calling him out in 2019 ^^ https://togetter.com/li/1327770

! The following post talks about the various bad things that Menhera-chan's creator, Ezaki Bisuko, has done.

Here a japanese summary of all the shit he did so far, including but not limited to:

• registering Yamikawaii as trademark

• sending his fans after gyaru YouTuber Usatani to harass her into a suicide attempt over unknowingly buying a shirt with stolen PPG fanart he drew

• himself buying products with stolen art, even promoting their sales, because it’s totally ok when he does it

• the reason why Usatan’s original design was changed aka it was a ripoff of Cult Party’s iconic rabbit mascot that was designed by their artist Maromika-chan

• wrote a whole guide on how to legally get away with sex work as child

• proof of him tracing art for the more detailed MCH artworks

• how he attended the Menhera Exhibit only to smear misogynist bullshit with blood on maxipads

• complaining about how anime for little girls are evil feminist agenda TM because ain’t nobody need men to be saved anymore

• boasting about being a fashion designer only selecting the finest fabrics for his merch when it’s actually made by the japanese equivalent of Redbubble

• “parody” works featuring child characters like Chibi Maruko-chan prostituting themself, the message being all women are whores regardless of age for the right amount of money

• the small “terms and conditions” shield he has at his con booths where you agree that you need to buy anything you touch

• how he setup an earthquake victim fundraiser only to keep the money

• telling his english fans they are not allowed to use any of his art for private use, like as icon, unless they pay him

• how he wants to move to the US when he turns 30 because of all the evil haters TM in Japan

• copyright claiming everyone left and right

• japanese Menhera speaking out about he keeps hurting the community

In regards of the maxi pads:

TW, CW // nooses, misogynistic text in red on maxipads

Our favorite being the second row second one, “Abortion is murder”.

Some more recent event: When he started harassing and hating on disabled people after Tokyo Fashion translated a Tweet of his because being disabled is discriminating yourself.

It’s like a trainwreck that refuses to end, now with 100% more crypto on NFT while shitting on those who warn about the dangers.

His NFT sales can be found here: https://foundation.app/@bisuko_ezaki

For some reason, after 7 years, he also decided to re-release the infamous wrist-cut bracelet to sell at events. The leader of the Neo-Decora group bought one for example:

TW // Bracelet that imitates sh, includes blood

Also keeps doing collabs with “Tokyo Uragawa” under Yamiko so Seigi (Mental illness is justice), which focuses on self-harming girls as fetish objects.

TW, CW // drawn sh

Recently, he also wrote a long-article on his definition of Yamikawaii:

https://harajuku-pop.com/67775/

Still not sure where overseas people got “this is about mental health awareness” from, might be based on mistranslations because the word for mental health and illness is one in the same, and his definition is about glorifying mental illness. In fact, this is why he was banned from Tumblr because he kept posting other people’s self-harm photos to his aesthetic blog Menherabusu.

Next up: Made suicide baiting posts over his following decreasing in the hopes of getting attention, fans sent him photos of cute animals to cheer him up, and he decided to post about destroying the pictures.

Tbh, this list could go on forever as he does this kind of bs on an almost daily basis now, but apparently people don’t care enough to stop throwing money at him.

Meanwhile the Japanese community made a whole Wiki for tracking all of his drama considering how much it is by now.

https://ezabisumatome.wiki.fc2.com/

TW // mention of shotacon

Decided to nickname himself Shotabi, the name being a combination of Shotacon and Bisuko, while using nsfw anime edits of male child characters in sexual situations as decor for his selfies.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝:

Is it ok to still like Menhera-chan?

𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫:

Sure, the problem is really only Ezaki himself and his increasing problematic remarks fueled by his ego, the manga is a lot older than him being like that.

Fun fact: Ezaki actually hates Menhera-chan because it's the only thing he ever gets approached for by the media, he constantly rants about this on Twitter. If you have noticed, he barely makes new MCH content anymore (unless he gets paid for it) and mainly reposts old artworks and fanart (without permission) instead because it's the only way he can still get attention as his other works, like the misogynist Manapisu, which is just him hating on women as "dumb wh*res" as a manga, flopped badly.

Just try to not fund his bs by buying new goods.

[menhera-info-archieve]

Styling Menhera more "Masculinely"

Recently I've seen more interest in how to wear menhera and related styles if you typically present more masculine, so I'd like to address that today. This post will sort of be a continuation of this ask, but instead of discussing particular brands we'll focus on how to style your coords to have a more masculine feel to them.

Firstly though, a disclaimer: this post is not a set of rules to be followed, nor a statement on what men/masc people should or shouldn't wear. It's simply a list of ideas that might help if you want to present more traditionally (?) masculine for whatever reason. I think part of the appeal of menhera is nonconformity and NOT trying to fit into what society expects, so please don't misinterpret this post as trying to tell you what to do!

With that out of the way, it's worth noting that the tops you wear will largely be the same. Of course, avoiding tops with a large amount of bows, frills, etc also helps, but other than that I believe that most tops can be styled in a masculine way. So like in any menhera coord you'll have a top wth vent art on it. Often it will be oversized, but a regular fit is also okay.

sources: 1, 2, 3

I would say the biggest difference between feminine menhera styling and masculine menhera styling is the bottoms (and the impact this has on the overall silhouette). Where a feminine silhouette often uses short shorts/skirts/bloomers with OTKs and/or legwarmers, you’ll have an easier time going for a masculine look with longer shorts, joggers, other comfortable straight leg pants, or even jeans.

sources: 1, 2

The silhouette will change a lot depending on what type of bottom you choose. Experiment with whether you prefer an overall baggy look (baggy sweatpants with an oversize top) or a contrasting baggy top with a (comparatively) tighter straight leg bottom.

sources: 1, 2

While it's not necessary, some brands also make menhera print joggers/sweatpants if you feel left out of extra prints via OTKs. The ones pictured below are by SoftNGloomStyle on etsy

source: 1

here are a few more examples of different outfits using the same/similar tops.

sources: 1, 2

source: 1

You'll notice that I've mostly been using yamikawaii (dark color) examples. This is because it's a bit harder to make yumekawaii/pastels feel masculine. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try though!

source: 1

Regardless of how you feel about Ezaki Bisuko, he provides us good examples of pastels in a masculine silhouette (I don't think I've ever seen anyone else do menhera polo shirts before? But this could be replicated with a button up!)

source: 1

The pastels are more subtle on this one, but it still felt worth showing. Despite using a few more "feminine" accessories, this person balanced their outfit with the bottoms and layering for a more genderless feel.

source: 1

Including this one to show something a little different: this features a male seifuku top! Just to remind you not to feel like you can't mix elements.

Finally, the last thing I'll talk about is accessories. Most menhera coords should only have a couple accessories and I would say this goes doubly so if you're trying to present masculinely. Keep accessories few and impactful.

One accessory I feel is overlooked in menhera is hats! If you're avoiding hair accessories and bows, hats are a good way to tie together an outfit as well.

sources: 1, 2

hats should be a fairly accessible option as well because

redbubble semi recently started printing on hats, so many menhera designs can be put on them

they can be diy-ed by purchasing a fitting patch or pin and adding them on

you could go even further by making your own design with fabric marker/embroidery/etc. because of the size, hats are probably an easier project than making a shirt design this way

to briefly touch on other accessories: you can use most of them, but be cautious. Overall most masculine coords I have seen use much more simple types of jewelry on their necklaces/bracelets/chokers/etc such as leather, chord, and metal and don't often feature large or elaborate decorations. Still, feel free to experiment with what works!

[lavenderpilled]

my favorite brands and places to find yamikawaii fashion that aren't just "go on amazon"

ACDCRAG!!! THE GOAT!!! i love their stuff, all very comfortable and has super fun designs. their free size is about a us medium, but I don't know what their plus size sizing is like.

drug honey- really cute brand, makes mostly yamikawaii and casual dark girly pieces

etsy- there's a bunch of shops on there selling a variety of clothes and accessories, zombieunicornjewelry and merbunnybaby are a few of my favorites.

listen flavor- a brand if you have some extra money to spend. pretty much the original yamikawaii brand, but somewhat expensive. if you can find secondhand though, go for it! (and tell me lol because I can't find much)

depop- looking up yamikawaii will give you a bunch of fun stuff that people are reselling, though quality and shipping can vary wildly. great to find secondhands of any of the previously mentioned brands.

keimarket- another reselling website, but specifically for reselling jfashion pieces, an offshoot of the lolita reselling site lacemarket. though it's pretty much overrun with girly kei and gyaru (a lot of liz Lisa for some reason??), some yamikawaii stuff can be found.

and that's about it! let me know if this helped any of you guys <3

[broken-doll-menhera]

If you know how to browse etsy and know what words to search, you'll often find more than just zombieunicornjewelry (love them tho!).

Hell, half the stuff I find is either general jfashion stuff that happens to work for my menhera bag and looks or actual menhera pieces that are just not in the top search results because they use more tags than just menhera. Plus, there's plenty of EU and UK options for those in either one! If it's not under Yami Kawaii or Menhera searches, I've had luck with medikawa and Medical Kawaii (you'd be surprised how many cute accessories and clothing exist thats advertised towards registered nurses too!)

Mercari and Ebay are also worth looking at and if you look hard enough, you're often able to find amazing pieces for cheaper than Depop (i use Depop as a last resort due to people overpricing intentionally). If you can access and order through a 3rd party website, you can try to access both the Japanese websites and get more options!

Taobao is also a great option for Yami Kawaii and Menhera items, but like MercariJP, you might need to use a 3rd party website depending on where you live, but they do have worldwide options. It's a process to learn how to use the site, but there are guides on tiktok that explain how to order from them as a non-Chinese citizen, especially as a US citizen. Also, like Etsy has been having issues with, you may need to take a moment to check for crappy dropsellers or just general scams, but that's an issue you can avoid by seeing if there's more than one picture in the listing and if the reviews leave any photos.