For all the hype surrounding death, Violet was surprised at how painless it was.
She knew her pain receptors must be reacting to the knife that had been thrust into her chest, and yet, it felt like she was floating. Was that death? The seconds ticked by slowly, and she knew she should try to move, to cry out for help, to warn the others that something was coming. And yet, she lay completely still on the ground, feeling warm blood spill from her chest and soak into her shirt. She had taken basic biology, and Violet knew that it wouldn’t be long before her body began to shut down from lack of blood. Her life would ebb away slowly, and she would be one of the spirits she had spent the last several years studying. There was a bit of morbid poetry to it, she supposed. Her heart beat in her ears, a steady rhythm with the slight hiccup here and there. Still strong for now, but slowly growing weaker.
How did she get here? It was such a blur for the most part. A walk to clear her head, an attempt to understand why things had turned out the way they did, bumping into a glamoured human. Except this one had reacted with a speed that was so unlike them. Violet had never seen her face before, though that wasn’t entirely new. She hardly spent any time in the cells, and she preferred to do things herself rather than force one of the zombified humans to do it for her. Her hair had been carefully brushed, and her eyes were swirling with emotions. A hand covered her mouth, muffling her scream as a sharp pain pierced her chest. Both of them had been shocked at how easily the blade sank into her skin. Violet’s grip loosened and she was sure there was a grotesque blood stain on the wall from the way she slid down against it. Those eyes loomed over her, pained and apologetic, yet somehow steeled. Violet didn’t scream, didn’t berate her. She only looked up and wondered how she had arrived at this point. Time froze around them, two souls staring at another. She didn’t blame her. There were no malicious thoughts in her head, only sadness. She must not have liked the look on Violet’s face for she turned and disappeared down the hallway, not once looking back.
So here she lay, the supposedly powerful leader of the Violet coven, choking on her own blood. The shock and adrenaline was beginning to fade, and each breath became a struggle to take. She was glad she was alone. Violet had never feared death, but rather what death did to others. A selfish part of her was glad that she would never have to experience the death of her cousins or her charges or anyone else close to her. She could afford to be a little selfish now. Still, as her breaths grew weaker, Violet wished she could go back and talk to each of the charges, to her cousins, to Ancelette and Miles and the others she had come to know. She wished she could tell Echo that she was a brilliant first charge and she would be an amazing coven leader, that Piper would be reminded how proud she was of her, mistakes and all, and that Aspen would know that she would always see the girl as her daughter. She wished she could speak to Aurora and Ivy and Seleca, to ask them to look after each other, to look after Scarlett. She wanted to apologize to Crevan and Arin and Jakob, for leaving them sooner than she had hoped and to remind them to take care of the girls. She wanted another hug from Zinc, like the ones he used to give when they were children. She wanted to curl up next to Scarlett and let her heartbeat chase away her nightmares.
Violet wondered what Scarlett and Zinc would tell her very mortal parents. Would they ever tell them? She could picture it in her mind’s eye, her mother waiting for a phone call that would never come. She wished she had been nicer the last time she called home. They had argued over the fact that Violet didn’t want to get married and settle down and have children. Violet never wanted to be a housewife. With a choked laugh, she realized that for the last several months, she had been almost exactly that. Looking after the charges, making sure they stayed out of trouble, taking care of things at the Compound while Scarlett and Zinc went out on their trips.
As more time passed and her body grew colder, the fear began to creep in. Violet wished she had a hand to hold. Who would find her body? A hungry vampire that smelled the blood that had soaked into the carpet? A wolf that happened to venture inside for once? One of the witches who came wandering down the same hallway? That thought pained her more than the blade in her chest because she hoped it was a witch, and she hated herself for it. She hoped the witches survived this. She hoped that they would take this and move forward and not stay stagnant in their grief. She’d always be watching, from the spirit world, perhaps with Frederick. She hoped they knew that.
I’m going to need more than just the regular fair meditation. I’ve try it and they aren’t agreeing with me. You’ve always been just Violet. I think we all forget you aren’t that much older than us. No pressure. Not anymore.
I see.. well I don't know if I can help you beyond that. Yes, well I don't suppose you charges would enjoy me crashing any parties you might have, even if I'm not that much older. Go for your run, Aspen. Take the time to calm yourself if you need. I'll be right here whenever you get back.
I guess I just wasn’t aware us telling someone how we feel is guilting them but if you’d prefer I didn’t from now on, I won’t. I’m pretty good at that.
Echo Violet, don't take that tone with me. You are more than allowed to tell someone how you feel as long as you realize that they're not obligated to feel the same way.
It’s really hard to stay in control. I feel like I was already pretty emotional before this and the bite has intensified it ten fold. It’s not just the anger. It’s every emotion. But thank you. I appreciate that. The offer extends the other way. You are still just Violet.
There are some meditation techniques that might help with that. Some of the ones I've showed you. If you want any more, you can always ask. I'll keep it in mind. I think I rather like being "just Violet" sometimes. It's less pressure.
Violet, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I didn’t attack her. I told her I was hurt she didn’t tell me, she apologized and it was fine. If she wants to be a wolf, that’s her decision. For any of us, the decision would involve everyone else. And it’s kind of catching everyone off guard that it didn’t for her. That’s all. If being a wolf is what makes her happy, then that’s fine. But selfish or not, I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that being with us doesn’t make her happy.
Yes, you or your cousins might have involved others, but she didn't and that's not her fault either. It's not selfish. I'll admit, when Aspen first came to me, I was a little upset. I asked myself what I had done wrong to make her want to be something else, why we weren't enough for her. But I realized that the decision may have had nothing to do with me at all. It's Aspen's life. The only thing we can do is support her. It just disheartens me to see the charges guilting her for doing something that felt right to her. I understand where you are all coming from, but you have to see where she's coming from too.
I love you too, Aspen. You show it just fine. Don't ever apologize for being who you are. You're not like Echo or Piper, but I never expected you to be. Apologize when you've done wrong, not for being yourself. I know that tonight's been emotional for you, and I'm sure your heightened emotions aren't helping. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Whether you're a witch, wolf, human, or just Aspen.
They'll get over it. I know the importance of family, but sometimes, you have to do things on your own. If you don't regret it, then don't let anyone else feel like you should.
I do know that. You misinterpreted. I asked her an hour ago if she was still a witch. She’s been my sister. I didn’t intend to throw that away. That’s why I didn’t like that she just did.
How can you blame her for not wanting to be a part of something that has only criticized her for making a decision that doesn't really involve anyone else? So far I've only seen her get admonished left and right. You're allowed to be hurt, but you can't attack her for making a decision for her own life.
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