Coyote Mind @vivadiscordia - Tumblr Blog

xplodingunicorn

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honeyfawns

mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day

s0ulx-deactivated20211207

You don’t realise how bad some people’s vibes are until they’re not around and you feel free

inkskinned

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

selfdeprecatingmeme

trauma didnt make me soft it’s made me angry and empty

arandomthot

There are few things I’ve related to more

the-void-dragons

Identifying witches

An open witch: just enter their house there are like 80 candles and rocks and stars and leaves and shit everywhere you are just tripping over it

A kitchen witch: their kitchen is hands down the coolest part of the house with awesome spices and organisation and deco and their house smells amazing

Hedge witch: check for a dehydrator or massive amounts of parchment paper

An urban witch: their living space is covered in the most random, seemingly irrelevant stuff that they are super attached to

Pagan witch: altars to different deities everywhere and so many pentacles everywhere why is there one in the toilet damn what

Christian witch: house is covered in fairies and Angels in paintings and statues it’s like what

Neo-pagan: their gem stone collection can only be rivalled by the state rock museum ( either that or they are a Steven universe fan :p )

A closet witch: check the drawers for books Check the drawers man

Satanic witch: lots of silver on their altar and most of their closet is black or sexy.

Gothic witch: their house IS black and sexy and full of bones

A spoonie witch: their athame is in the kitchen and there is random candle wax around the house and you just have no idea what happened but this one corner of the house has great energy

Sigil witch: why is there a sigil on every napkin what is life who are you

Tarot focused: they have like 80 tarot decks and half haven’t even been opened and they are super defensive about

A witching: starter kits, specialty candles, and they have a few books on Wicca they bought accidentally

Sea witch: there are shells everywhere and it constantly smells like fresh sea air but you can’t find the source

A long time witch: THIS AMOUNT OF JARS HAS NEVER BEEN NECESSARY IN THE HISTORY OF MAN

the-void-dragons

Draconian witch: There are more dragon figurines every time you visit and you think they might be breeding.

Fae witch: you just found your keys in a flowerpot and you swear you never took them out. if you still have your keys, check to see if there are special house rules that don’t make sense out of context

Eclectic Witch: Their library makes literally no sense there’s like literal research volumes mixed in with 40 spell books from different traditions and every time you think you got a handle on the organization you find a an outlier and it’s all ruined. if they don’t have a physical library, check their altar. Is it probably way too small for the stuff on or around it? yeah.

Cottage witch: much handmade crafts, especially of the crochet/knitting/sewing variety. It always smells like tea or tea cakes. You are so cozy you will fall asleep.

Cosmos/astrological/star witch: You have left knowing at about 20 new facts about stars, positioning, planets, or otherwise. You weren’t trying, but it happened anyway.

Moon witch: They know literally every moon of every planet in the milky way and protective about their hundreds of dwarf moon sons

new-age witch: You’re not really sure they’re witches cuz you can’t find an altar or anything but they sure have the witch aesthetic down

green witch: the air is so fresh and maybe it’s the 93 plants but it’s somehow more refreshing than that

earth witch: not gemstones, but literal rocks are about. How did they even get this boulder, you wonder. Seriously. is there a boulder store you don’t know about?

pop-culture witch: they instinctively know you are hungry and offer to order pizza.

sandandglass

Yuriko Kotani / Russell Howard’s Stand Up Central

mszombi

This is the second photoset of this comedian I’ve seen on my dash and I absolutely have to look her up because she seems delightful

unbfacts

Andrew Myrick, a storekeeper on a Minnesota Native American reservation, told starving natives to eat grass if they were hungry. He was found dead on the first day of the Dakota War of 1862, with grass stuffed in his mouth.

edgymexican-blog

rue-by-another-name

the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it

for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don’t really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don’t like peanut butter they’d get all defensive like “peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!” and then i’d have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds.

but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i’m just allergic to peanuts because that way it’s not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it’s now like i’m a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me.

but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i’m at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn’t eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret.

and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, “i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.”

and if that isn’t love then i don’t know what is.

rue-by-another-name

the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it

for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don’t really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don’t like peanut butter they’d get all defensive like “peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!” and then i’d have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds.

but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i’m just allergic to peanuts because that way it’s not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it’s now like i’m a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me.

but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i’m at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn’t eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret.

and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, “i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.”

and if that isn’t love then i don’t know what is.

xbunnyclawsx

Credit: IG-@mattwmurray

carlschandler

Alden in every episode - Dead or Alive Or

What do you want? Time outside the pen for good behavior. You know, one at a time, a couple minutes a day, some shade, exercise. You can have all the guns on us you like. What do you say?