James Breakwell @xplodingunicorn - Tumblr Blog

My 15-year-old baked Christmas ornaments in the oven. They look like cookies, but they are NOT cookies. It was nice of her to realize I needed a written reminder.

We had our first trunk-or-treat of the season. My oldest was too cool to go with us but was willing to be in the group photo beforehand. She's not ashamed to be seen with us—as long as we're still at home.

The first day of 10th, 8th, 6th, and 4th grades. The amount of joy varies significantly by child.

At first glance, I thought this was a butterfly. Why is there a pair of scissors dangling in my bushes? Because children. I have no follow-up questions.

My 9-year-old and 10-year-old have started texting me in overly formal language. They think it's the best way to get what they want. They're right.

My kids shared 25 variations of this picture in the family group chat. I don't know what's happening here and I'm too scared to ask.

My kids got a pig to flop through the fence at a petting zoo. Their pig petting skills are unmatched.

Don't be jealous of my best feature.

Newsletter 2025-02-10

Newsletter 2025-01-12

Some doors are best left closed.

Newsletter 2025-01-06

Here's a full explanation of the questionable decision-making that led me to taking my family out in the worst weather of the year.

Pro tip: The best time to take your kids to their first NFL game is when tickets are super cheap because your team has already been eliminated from the playoffs and it's the middle of a blizzard.

Our New Year's Eve tradition is to play Rock Band together as a family. There are only two guitars but a room full of singers, especially when Journey comes on.

Our New Year's Eve tradition is to play Rock Band together as a family. There are only two guitars but a room full of signers, especially when Journey comes on.

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James Breakwell