you know what the fuck is going on already (part 1)
allura, later, while lance and keith are in her room and lance is braiding her hair while keith is playing with her combs: it’s so weird…i’ve noticed a lot of stuff changing on this ship but i never noticed how soft hunk’s hair looks in the morning…and he looks at me sometimes you know…it’s like all the air on the ship was sucked out and i can’t catch my breath…what is this affliction? how do i cure it?
lance, a functional disaster gay but very observant and dedicated to the cause of seeing two of his best friends happy: oh……what are your other symptoms? ;)
allura: well…i feel lighter…like a great weight was lifted off my chest…i don’t know how to describe it. lance: >;))))
keith, useless lesbian passing at best: you should see coran you might have space asthma that sounds pretty serious
allura: pidge, please, i need advice. how do i…woo…a human
pidge, doing a handstand and cartwheeling backwards out of the room: i am the wrong gay to ask how to flirt with guys
hunk: keith dude you gotta help me out. lance just made fun of me but i need to know what to say to allura when -
keith, taking a deep sip out of an empty juice box and loudly slurping the air from the container: i am the wrong gay to ask how to flirt with girls
hunk: shiro, i need advice…what am i supposed to say to allura -
shiro: tell her you care about her deeply as a person and wish to be beside her, for all time
hunk: that was…surprisingly helpful. and meaningful.
shiro: and if she refuses start crying and threaten to leave your cry boogers all over her bedside table for breaking your heart
shiro: i am the only person on this ship to get successfully engaged so really i am the only advice you should be taking
allura: ah! hunk! may i speak with you for a moment? hunk, heart-rate immediately spiking to near cardiac arrest levels: of course, allura
allura, with all the grace of somebody who just took flirting tips from a fellow useless bi named lance: i just wanted to say you look absolutely handsome today, positively stunning. your suit looks very nice. very nice…on you.
hunk: [dial up AOL noise]
hunk, eyes watering: you look pretty today too, allura
allura blushing and her cheek marks glowing: thank you
hunk pressing his face into a pillow and screaming long and loud:
allura: so…i’ve been wondering…would you, by chance, be interested in attending a formal dinner with me? just the two of us.
allura: like a date. together. romantically.
hunk, picking up the nearest potted plant and holding it directly in front of his face: hunk isn’t here right now. please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP.
allura: i can clearly still see you standing there. hunk: no you can’t
allura kisses him first and hunk spends the next 10 minutes babbling incoherently about time dilation and the speed of light travelling through space in a straight line and finishes it with ‘and despite all the miles of space between us i’m sitting here next to you, which is pretty cool if you think about it’ and he takes her hand and kisses the palm and allura’s brain joins a european subway union and decides to go on full strike
allura: that is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me and i understood absolutely none of your strange inaccurate human theories about space travel so please kiss me
hunk, grinning so hard his face hurts: i would be honored, princess