As the crow flys

Daily shenanigans and ramblings. Photo manipulations. Random insanity.

[volatilefox]

I'm not okay. "Tell me what I can do for you?" Wake me up and tell me it's all a bad dream and everything is okay. *Walks away*

[volatilefox]

My dear late muse

I know, I told you that I would write a story about your life; When you were everything to me, my muse. I wish I could have kept that promise, because your story is a beautifully sad one. The kind of poetic deterioration of humanity. You parted from me in a way that left a hole. Not a burn mark, bleeding or aortic spraying wound, but a hole, an absence. One I feel every day, like the weathered rub in a worry stone, I touch your place daily, and dream of when I had the swelling fullness from our friendship. Please don't worry, I'm perfectly okay. I am managing, and the gifts you gave me, I use every day. We grew a lot together and I am so glad for that. I can't finish your story, because you do not finish it with me. I'll end your prose suddenly, as our time ended. My story continues after you, my dear late muse.

[girlbehindthisblog-deactivated2]

You came without a warning sign. I wasn’t prepared, i didn’t expect it but you came. My mornings became so alive because i am looking for the day to see you. You were like a stars at night that never failed to make me smile. You became an addiction to me just like my favorite cup of coffee. My eyes wants to see you, my ears always wants to hear you, my body finds your presence, your name is magic in my ears. I didn’t notice that i am slowly falling for you without you and me knowing it. Without you doing nothing. Without my permission, my heart just fell for you. I woke up one day feeling this weird feeling for you. And i knew then that i am in love.

And i am so happy that i am in love with you (via girlbehindthisblog)

[volatilefox]

I won't claim this is the most in love I have ever been. It's not. It's not that bleeding out, exalted, passionate, inspiring, madness. I will tell you though, this is the most sure I have ever been. The most solidly committed, the safest, I have ever felt. A huge part of me waits to be wrong, for it to all crash down around me. Except, the further things go, the more I can't imagine life without him intertwined so deeply. He's been part of my everyday for years prior to crossing into the romantic escapades we find ourselves in. It's not that I feel I couldn't be okay without him. I don't NEED him, but I'm unsure what a future without him would be like. I find myself wondering if this solidarity is a flag of something else?

[wordsnquotes]

Don’t believe the voices in your head. They come from the people you’re learning to forget.

E. B. Matthews (via wordsnquotes)

[suspend]

boys who like kids are extremely adorable

[volatilefox]

Jared Fogle

[cuddlyclarke-deactivated2016050]

The Expanse Character Portraits for the LA Times

[trilllions]

[volatilefox]

I'm working on making grown up choices by talking to the people involved instead of all the outside people. Please someone just tell me how to live my life.

[chibird]

You have the power to plant and nurture the good thoughts! Sometimes it’s hard if you are around people sending you negative thoughts, but hold onto the good ones, and a beautiful confident person will grow.

[volatilefox]

I will never make excuses for you, But I'll protect us from the judgement of those outside us. I will do this by cleaning our dirty laundry inside our own home. I'm counting on you to do the same. We have already been through a lot, and I'm just hoping you keep hanging on, keep thinking I'm worth it.

[h-aon]

[ercuillium-blog]

[thoughts-memories]

[volatilefox]

[volatilefox]

Valentine's Day is a sham

I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day since I was in school and they made us. The year after this, I caught my fiancé cheating on Valentine's Day. I married him still, and the day became trite and forced. My first serious relationship after my marriage(yes I married this manipulative, abusive asshole even after he cheated.) we celebrated Christmas a second time rather than Valentine's Day. I was happy. The next year I was with someone new, and it was trite and forced still and ended with him asking me to bed and then leaving, saying he wanted to go on a bike ride alone. I called my best friend and cursed him and cried because it was just a reminder no matter what, there was no "safe" place in a relationship. This year feels like home. He took me on a hike, said he was going to show me his favorite place there. I was walking ahead and saw a tree, gasped, declared its branches home, and he told me it was the place he wanted to show me. This happens frequently with him. We say the same things with different words at the same time. We do things the same way, without knowing the other saw every other way as "wrong". My whole life Valentine's Day was a sham. I'm here to tell you is still is. Love, however, is no sham. It's the rawness of humanity, it's something, that once fits; could bring you to a place of such rawness you may bleed out, or it can become home.

[patientlights]

1.25.16

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