warning for mainly #transphobia, #cissexism, and #homophobia. as well as usage of the #q slur by me.
update (7/8/16): hey it’s been a while. so yesterday tori came into my inbox on my new account ( the first time since i’ve or anyone i associate with interacted with her since last august ) and sent me a couple of asks because an anon (which i personally think it’s her because no one is that bored) and made claims that my friends and i were “harassing her” and running a “slander campaign.” whatever the hell that means. please add a definition ?
so after i responded and a day later i now have a callout post which all of you can read here (and you can see my response to her asks there) where my pronouns still aren’t right, by the way. anyways:
tl;dr. while being cisgender, suuima/konpcki has no sense of boundaries when it comes to trans people and continually voiced transphobic opinions on intracommunity issues, which she has no right to a voice on in the first place. after offering resources and advice, instead of admitting the things she said were indeed transphobic and making it a point to start changing her behavior with an apology to her followers, she instead downplayed the situation, tried to defend herself, and in the end completely ignored us after the fact.
the receipts here are screenshots/transcripts from her twitter as well as some recent posts from her blog. due to the nature of twitter replies, one receipt has been slightly edited for better reading and context. everything else has been untouched and has links, aside from the first post that was deleted. an indepth overview of the situation is under the cut, and i encourage you to reblog this for your trans/nb roleplayers who may have interacted with her or plan to.
hey just a little heads up: leave suuima alone now? ok you made your callout, everybody hates her and all and she's gone, stop fussing around with this drama! That's the reason people don't want to enter in the dr community, you all behave like kids. I'm not saying it was wrong to do the callout, but now she's apologized, she left her blog and literally 98% of the community hates her. Now stop it's annoying
have you seen donald trump’s wife omg she looks disgruntled and low-key angry in all of her pictures
you know what really irks me. is that she called out someone and thought it was a-ok, but when she gets called out herself, she moans and groans about call-out culture like. ?? it's only okay if you do it??
tbh yeah that's usually how it works lmao. people have been messaging me about her previously calling out people on her blog with no problemthat incited some of the same reactions but again, im really not surprised
is it honestly any surprise she whined about "callout culture" tho like i swear 99% of the problematic people who get called out whine about it it's just so. ok sweaty. :^)))
To be honest I'm definitely not surprised. I just hoped her final word to me would be the end of it and we could start moving on. I'm not even mad anymore yo I'm just disappointed.
I previously reblogged and acknowledged suuima’s apology to me just so everyone knew that she did, and she replied to me with some screenshots to prove that she was reading up on how to be a better ally/better understanding of gender identity.
Here’s her complaining that she got called out for her behavior, or as she’s putting it, a victim of ‘callout culture’ (wayback machine) ( screenshots 1. 2. )
Who asks for the other side of the story of a queerphobe ? :)
I’m surprised you didn’t @ me on my actual blog but I definitely appreciate you bringing it here instead. Sorry for getting back so late, I didn’t even notice this due to my notifs.
I don’t know what you want me to say because it’s not gonna be an “apology accepted” or anything along the lines of that because it took an entire callout of about 1.5k words to get some sort of apology to your followers or anyone who has stumbled upon your blog.
If someone offers you resources or an explanation and you become silent that’s ignoring them. If someone wishes to educate you and instead of taking the opportunity you stay silent that’s choosing to stay ignorant in the eyes of whoever is watching, no matter what your train of thought may have been.
There’s people telling me that you are just now deciding to accept resources which is great and I hope they’re telling the truth but that’s not going to get me to trust you. Like, for instance you didn’t even read the entire callout or maybe you just skimmed through it, I don’t know, because you still haven’t taken off they/them from your bio page. I won’t be responding again unless I need to for some reason. Just a heads up. Have a good night.
I recently sent Tori resources for learning about the trans community and learning about all people outside the gender binary. As someone who is trans male, I still feel comfortable around her, because she is willing to learn and is currently attempting to amend her wrongs. Please, amend your call out post because you're making her nervous. She is attempting to correct this and I am helping her. I know you might take this the wrong way or want to attack me, but I am here to help, not take sides.
I’m not “amending” the callout because the only reason why she’s finally taking those actions and apparently planning on apologizing is because of the callout lmao.
People need to know what she’s said before this post was made. She wasn’t nervous before someone decided to put her on blast. You may be comfortable around her, that’s all fine and good. I’m not. Others aren’t.
I appreciate your efforts and patience with dealing with her, but unless she makes a total 180 overnight, which is impossible to prove except through action, it’s staying the way it is.
Also suuima mocks people with uncommon triggers calling them immature brats!
I saw a post she reblogged a while back making fun of triggers, but when going through her archive I couldn’t find the post in question. She also has a tendency to not tag blog content which–really doesn’t surprise me. (she posts nsfw a lot, and a while back there were several posts with #da/ddy kin/k untagged. )
I’ll look again and add it to the post later on if I find it, thank you for telling me !
warning for mainly #transphobia, #cissexism, and #homophobia. as well as usage of the #q slur by me.
update (7/8/16): hey it’s been a while. so yesterday tori came into my inbox on my new account ( the first time since i’ve or anyone i associate with interacted with her since last august ) and sent me a couple of asks because an anon (which i personally think it’s her because no one is that bored) and made claims that my friends and i were “harassing her” and running a “slander campaign.” whatever the hell that means. please add a definition ?
so after i responded and a day later i now have a callout post which all of you can read here (and you can see my response to her asks there) where my pronouns still aren’t right, by the way. anyways:
tl;dr. while being cisgender, suuima/konpcki has no sense of boundaries when it comes to trans people and continually voiced transphobic opinions on intracommunity issues, which she has no right to a voice on in the first place. after offering resources and advice, instead of admitting the things she said were indeed transphobic and making it a point to start changing her behavior with an apology to her followers, she instead downplayed the situation, tried to defend herself, and in the end completely ignored us after the fact.
the receipts here are screenshots/transcripts from her twitter as well as some recent posts from her blog. due to the nature of twitter replies, one receipt has been slightly edited for better reading and context. everything else has been untouched and has links, aside from the first post that was deleted. an indepth overview of the situation is under the cut, and i encourage you to reblog this for your trans/nb roleplayers who may have interacted with her or plan to.
i’ll be speaking both as someone who is a part of the trans community as well as the non-straight community, since she is both cisgender and heterosexual ( i’m agender as well as queer )
explanation: people outside of a minority group, be it a race minority or a sexuality + gender identity minority, don’t have any say in intracommunity issues due to the multitude of opinions centering around that topic, and inability to possibly understand being in that minority, which has led to the majority trying to police different people in that minority.. way outside of their lane. in this case, it was about nonbinary identities, gender dysphoria, and what is considered to be and not to be transphobic, which are common topics for debate within the community. suuima/konpcki has voiced opinion on all of these when speaking to me, and on her blog.
if she is able to understand the concept of who has a right to discussion about racism being a person of color, she should be able to understand who has a right to discussion concerning gender identity.
10 June
i namedropped tori in june on twitter about a post she made on her blog, the one in question has since been deleted, but with no explanation or apology to the followers that she lost.
text: i’m fine for now. i made a post of how tran/str/ender/s are stating that they’re trans but 99% of them aren’t diagnosed with dysphoria and i lost -4 followers
plus got some anon hate. looks like cis people aren’t allowed to open their mouths and voice their opinions.
to any cis people who may be reading this, you cannot be “diagnosed with dysphoria.” some people are lucky enough to receive services and counselling that lead to someone getting paid saying that you have gender dysphoria ( which is required in most cases for transitioning ), however not every trans person is able to get a “”doctor’s note””, not every trans person is looking to transition or wants to transition, not every trans person experiences gender dysphoria– and i’m speaking as someone who does experience dysphoria, that doesn’t make them any less trans. requiring this is an invalidation of identity, a fight we’ve been at for years.
calling the people who are currently exploring their gender identity ‘tra/nstrend/ers’ ( a term mainly used by tr/usc/um and cis anti-sj/w/s ) is discouraging young people. it invalidates very real feelings. quote; “it implies that a person’s gender identity is for others to decide” (full article here for a better explanation), but more imporantly as i explained above, as a cis person her opinion on this are definitely not welcome. it’s one thing for another trans person to try and gatekeep the community, but for a cis person to do the same is not okay.
14 August
suuima found that i namedropped her through the twitter search, rt’d my tweet at first, and promptly replied to me upon finding it. when responding i referenced the screenshot above. the full conversation can be found through the link, screenshots below:
- part one ( unedited )
- part one ( edited, tweet added for context )
- part two
- part three
- part four
- part five
in part 6, she admitted that she (clearly) didn’t know too much about the trans community and i responded by offering to link her to some resources for being a cis ally, repeating myself that although she didn’t have a voice on intracommunity issues, it would be in her best interests to at least take a look at whatever is available for cis people who wish to be allies. by that point i calmed down a bit as i was really hoping that i could at least try and educate her so that she wouldn’t make these mistakes again.
i was more than willing to provide her with these since the only place she was getting information was ‘from a friend’, if she at least returned the favor and apologized to her followers for that post in particular and others she’s made in the past as i was not the only one offended by that. however, she never replied and instead made these tweets, insisting that she wasn’t transphobic, and that trans people can’t possibly have transphobic views.
tweet: queen victoria @viickytv Aug 14 there are far more worst transphobes out there. why are people so blind to that. ( link ) ( screenshot) ( wbm )
tweet: queen victoria @viickytv Aug 14 i’m not transphobic in the slightest. what the fuck. ( link ) ( screenshot )
i responded pretty negatively upon finding out she ignored everything that i said to her, implying that microaggressions shouldn’t be taken as seriously, and that i was overreacting.
- part 1 (edit: aug. 17, wrong screenshot.)
- part 2
- part 3
the shittiest thing she asked me to tell her is whether or not i experienced gender dysphoria. i’m not exactly open about my dysphoria as it’s not something that’s easily relatable being agender and being asked by a cis person makes me extremely fucking uncomfortable. the way she asked implied that having it would be the only way my gender identity and my voice and opinions as a trans person would be legitimate. and then proceeded to tell me that because she isn’t the only person that asks me this question, i have no reason to be upset. i won’t apologize for being rude since she actually expected an answer to an extremely invasive and personal question. after her final tweet to me i stopped responding.
- a few hours later after seeing this conversation, my boyfriend decided to go ahead and step in and he tried to settle the air with a more precise explanation as to why her words and actions were transphobic. his tweets to her are here, screenshots below:
- part 1
- part 2
this was almost. literally a crashcourse, and should’ve opened the conversation as to how she should improve. instead, she ignored both of us and continued tweeting and posting on her rp blog as if nothing happened. to which, i’m not exactly surprised. since the whole not owning up to her actions thing is a trend for her, instead of listening and trying to correct her behavior, has instead tried to narrate that being called homphobic/transphobic by lgbtq users is an insult rather than a sign you’re doing something that should be corrected. ( wbm ) and when you’re saying scary shit like this (#homophobia, #violence) to insist that you’re not either of these things, there’s no wonder there’s lots of people who believe that you are.
just because you’re not going around shouting slurs, murdering lgbq+ people and trans people for being who they are, doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of being homophobic, of being transphobic and discriminatory. prime examples of microaggressions are here
- ( cissexism )
- and here ( on having a heterosexual muse )
- and here ( on “heterophobia” . which doesn’t actually exist, along with other reverse-isms. (wbm) )
- and here ( ridiculing others for getting upset when being misgendered while flipping their shit over someone accidentally using he/him pronouns )
downplaying this is the exact reason why homophobia stays persistent in our society.
this callout wasn’t going to be made had she made the right choice and apologize to her followers and acknowledge that her actions were wrong, but as far as i know that’s probably not going to happen due to how she responded to me asking for one;
( source here )
i don’t want any hate sent to her. i really don’t. this post is for any trans/nb or non-straight people who have interacted with her in the past or are planning to.
she needs to apologize, not to me, but to the followers she’s hurt due to what she’s said in the past and the posts she’s reblogged.
as a sidenote, she also needs to take off they/them pronouns from her about because ? unless you’re questioning your identity, you can’t indicate you use they pronouns lmao.
21 August (Update)
i previously reblogged and acknowledged suuima’s apology just so everyone knew that she did, and she replied to me with some screenshots to prove that she was reading up on how to be a better ally/better understanding of gender identity. as of now she’s taken off they/them pronouns from her blog.
this was so predictable though. here’s her complaining that she got called out for her behavior, or as she’s putting it, a victim of ‘callout culture’ (wayback machine) ( screenshots 1. 2. ) a term often used to paint the person calling someone out for problematic behavior.
while there is a problem with people going ages back into someone’s archive when their behavior has changed since then, for the purpose of ruining someone’s reputation. there was no indication she was ever going to change, and most importantly chances were given for this not to be made. it wasn’t as if i came out of scenic nowhere and decided that the first thing i’d do was put her on blast--we offered her resources, she didn’t take them, and just continued and now she’s narrating everyone to be immature. ( and who asks for the other side of the story of a homophobe/transphobe ? )
this doesn’t deserve to be swept under the rug just because what’s been said here is ‘not as bad.’ those who think like that are a part of the very problem.
thanks for reading this far if you have.
reblog if you can or just take note if you’re able.
