“It’ll hit you. Wether it’s a week or a month or a couple of days or even seconds, the feeling of them really being gone will hit you so fucking hard you’ll be gasping for air. Them laughing to your stupid jokes becomes just another memory and it pains you because now you can’t reuse that joke without remembering the way their laugh sounded and their face looked when they first heard it. You’ll be left wondering what if’s and what could’ve happen if you stayed or held on just a little tighter, even if the relationship was bad for both of you. It’ll hit you when you’re outside with a friend or alone in your kitchen where missing them becomes too much to handle and you have to grab ahold of something because suddenly your lungs are caving in on you and you can’t breathe. It’ll hit you when you’re shopping for something and you suddenly spot their favorite cereal or their favorite color on a shirt and you’re hands will shake as you tell yourself that you shouldn’t buy it you shouldn’t buy it you shouldn’t buy it because they won’t ever get to eat that cereal and they won’t ever get to wear that shirt and it’ll go to waste. It’ll hit you when you’re up at four in the morning and the urge of hearing their voice suddenly becomes too much and too loud that you end up crying yourself to sleep that night because there won’t be anymore phone calls with them whispering I miss you and I love you. It’ll hit you that they are gone and they are never coming back and when it does, it’ll hurt so much that even drowning yourself in vodka won’t ever take the pain away.”
— A.M.// it’ll hurt so much, but not forever. (via tullipsink)
