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» indie, unaffiliated rp blog for a depiction of the "mc" of the game Degrees of Lewdity. selective, mutuals only, primarily longform paragraph rp. open to crossfandom and oc interactions - please be aware the source media is a sex sim with horror elements, with many themes and kinks that the general tumblr rpc would be sensitive to. look up or play the game at your own digression. mc is named eris montero, he/him transman. mun is over 30, he/him.

»» 21+ . MDNI . nsfw && horror themes present ! dead dove themes typical of the source media should be expected. mun will always respect rp partner's boundaries. neither pro/anti - just use your common sense and realize rp is fictional. if you need to block, please do so and move on - hate will not be tolerated.

muse info post . mainverse info . dark fantasy au . danmei au . nsfw notes .

#pinned. dni.#UPDATED : 4/3/26 #koy. he/him. 30+

theres-nothing-to-be-scared-of

❝つ ત บ บ ટ נ کィ . ৺ ጉ נ υ ਦ 々 ⊔ ⊔ તィ ત ટ д .❞

A smile found its way over the pale lips of the faint spirit at last.

❝৺ ጉ נ ㄷ८コㅗ ત ટ д . ☨ ک ८ ป д .❞

TRUST was immediately recognized AND FULLY APPRECIATED. It in the very least put the Yurei more at ease. Not enough to think for even a moment about leaving his post, of course—-but it brought a certain peace of mind you can only really have when you're sure.

No matter what happened tonight… if anything happened tonight... or what might happen tomorrow night, or the night beyond that... The Crawling Man would protect Eris, and Eris would be fine. No harm would come to pass.

The Crawling Man settled in that of a proper sit - with his hands resting over his legs and his legs neatly tucked. He watched Eris fall asleep.

And he waited to see what would happen.

. . .

Eris woke up almost four hours later to the sound of skull meeting wood.

He felt the impact through the framework of his bed.

vvindicated

the lull of slumber came to an abrupt conclusion. violence bloomed red inside his bedroom as two bodies forcefully made their final connection to the floor. sickening thud and weak whimper, cut off cries as death came for the intruders - its shape a tall, black wreathed ghost. eris could do little but watch, bolt upright, wide eyed and skin prickled.

an undercurrent of fear washed over him. after all, he was only human - even the stoic eris felt that hind brain itch of primal fear in the face of the grisly and macabre. to compound his shock was the fact that he had just woken up and needed a moment to gather his bearings. in that time, his would-be assailants had been dealt with. they only twitched post mortem. a testament to the crawling yurei's promise of protection.

the blankets were pushed aside and his legs placed over the edge of the bed. care was taken when deciding how to disembark from the mattress, his desire to keep his bare toes out of blood and whatever else stronger than it perhaps should've been. focused on the wrong problem, maybe. after sitting there for a time, simply staring in silence, a timid knock sounded at his door. dreamily, he side stepped gore to answer it. just a little crack, enough that his slender stature could block the view inside.

a few of the other orphans, faces tired but concerned, had come to check on him. it had been a rather loud, scary noise; less of a bump in the night, and moreso a bang. he assured them it was alright. nothing to worry about - to go back to bed. hesitation made a couple linger, but another reassurance coaxed them away. he shut the door, softly.

turning towards the ghost and his prey, eris leaned against the door. a hand ran through his bangs, pushing them back. for a minute longer, he just stared. then - a whisper.

"how the hell am i going to clean this up..."

#theresnothingtobescaredof #VERSE : main.

vvindicated

GIFT ART - ts.4 render by my friend :> [not tagging her here!]

#srb this so u can all see uwu

playing tnc bc i always get partway thru routes then just stop dnjkfhn i am determined to finally fucking finish this thing LOL,, but also 1) eris is so akira coded... and 2) there he is sweet stinky shiki <3 u ever notice how so many ppl use him as a fc. do you think they know where he comes from...

#ooc : koi talks #ooc : tbd later

miratenebrarum

"…mphf."

No words coming from either side. That's good. Clearly, both understood that stating the obvious or getting lost in needless banther would amount to nothing but waste time, air and patience, and Enki knew they needed plenty of those. Even a word spoken too loudly would mean death in the Dungeons: the priests right behind the corner might still be focused on their sacrifice, but the torturer that cowardly nobleman they had the… 'pleasure' to run into a few minutes before talked about wouldn't be as polite.

His pale fingers reached out for the book, then, pressing the tip of the index on its cover: that alone was enough to make him feel a shiver go up his spine, reaching each bone and muscle in his body. A sensation of dread in the most sublime of forms, strong enough to make his stomach turn… and let a rare grin form on his face.

"The Necronomicon.", he couldn't stop himself from whispering, taking a deep breath as he reached out to take it and barely holding himself back from opening it and reading it. That would be foolish. But oh, so tempting…!

"Keep this in your bag.", he ordered, handing it to his companion "and do not even think about reading it… unless you wish to have your brain melt."

vvindicated

though he kept his attention outwards from his capricious companion, enki's whisper pricked the hunter's sensitive ears. he may not have known what specific contents the book boasted (a feat very few could attest to, anyway) but he was at least familiar with the tome's name. a book of dark magic, more or less.

... and enki was foisting it upon him, like a pack mule.

gawain sucked on his teeth, a clear noise of disapproval heard even from behind his mask; but he still accepted the heavy book, laden with both numerous pages and numerous secrets. "naturally..." came the rather sardonic reply, tome safely tucked away soon after. he could have asked if it was too heavy for the priest, he had the retort clearly in the corner of his mind's eye - but it would be a waste of breath and time. bickering had no place within these dreary, malice filled dungeons. the hunter instead cocked his head towards the door, arms crossing loosely over his chest.

he seemed to be prompting enki to lead on.

#miratenebrarum #VERSE : dark fantasy.

theres-nothing-to-be-scared-of

CLINGY – a word he understood by this point, but gave no answer to.

He was preoccupied. In fact, even with that hand in his hair - the Yurei was unchanged. Leaning his head into the other’s palm as to accept the affection - but without the usual SMILE that came attached. Almost completely devoid of reaction.

It might be a little jarring to see him like this, especially for an extended time — it was UNUSUAL, ABNORMAL, very unlike him.

What was even moreso—

❝৺ ጉ נ… д д ८ ኅ 々 ሰ π п.❞ (Me… not - rest.)

-was him not coming to bed. Especially after insisting he stay.

He’d been watching - STIFF AND UNMOVING - as Eris made room for him on the bed and invited him to sleep. A SILENCE HUNG IN THE AIR before he altogether declined. And, for whatever reason, he made it a point to even pull himself away, shuffling off to the door.

Maybe to avoid the temptation or maybe as a cold shoulder— though that would be very confusing... Eris had never done anything to garner the yurei's ire.

Nelly sat himself there beside the door to Eris’ room.

vvindicated

for a couple minutes after the refusal, eris still held the blanket aloft; as if the crawling ghost was going to change his mind. but with the way he pulled away, it was clear that he wouldn't. slowly, eris settled the blanket back over himself and curled his fist into the edge, pulling it near to his lips. he watched nelly as he crawled from the side of the bed to the far end of the room, positioning himself vigilantly at the door. in the darkness of his bedroom, over the tops of covers, eris' eyes gently glinted in the same way a cat's would.

whatever it was that had perturbed the yurei, eris didn't push for him to drop his concerns. he didn't plead for him to come back to bed and sleep beside him. whether he knew something or was simply feeling restless, eris was content to respect his decision. he had built up enough trust with the ghost to know that with him standing watch while he was in the vulnerable repose of slumber - no harm would come to pass.

" mn... ☨ ک ८ ป д ." goodnight, he responded softly into the still room. a gentle acceptance of the yurei's decision, and a confession of trust in the same breath. his eyes were already heavy with weariness so it wasn't too difficult for him to give into the siren call that was a fitful night's sleep. when he was sleeping, his cat ears and tail manifested alongside feline mannerisms; eris curling into himself and paw-like curled fingers nestled beside his cheek. his long, dark tail followed the curve of his posture, draping over his small form like another blanket.

#VERSE : main.#theresnothingtobescaredof

audaciious

Refreshing, the drink was sipped this time. The strong odor of liquor didn't waft off this one as it did from the others. While someone else might've complained, she silently appreciated him. If she wanted, she could still have her five drinks and possibly be able to walk home only buzzed. While short, her fast metabolism, thanks to her lycanthropy, allowed for only short periods of being inebriated. Her current drink at least had an enjoyable flavor she planned to savor as she patiently waited for Eris' response.

"A good showdown with a bear or boar would require quite a few more of these." Faye tapped the glass, her growing smile becoming less forced. It was no longer the one a wolf wore around a stray pack of dogs, aware it was outnumbered and ready to tear out as many throats as possible. Her grin did falter slightly at the mention of persistent wolves.

"Most tend to be that way. Especially if they really want somethin'." Her glass was emptied with a deep gulp. Setting it down on the paper napkin, she propped her head up with her hand. At the mention of dryads, she looked at him.

The name was familiar, but she couldn't quite picture what they looked like. Likely another nuisance she'd soon be forced to endure once the deal went through. Bad enough living in a cave.

"Sounds like you're pretty well acquainted with all the dangers around here." Faye lifted her head. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the counter. "Guess you probably know all the stuff that goes on in the city as well? Do you seek danger or does it just happen to find you?" If anything, hanging with him may prove to be fun. It'd at least be a way to live a little before the end of the week.

vvindicated

first a light snort at her smiling retort of bears and boars; he'd already had the displeasure of fending one or two off while sober. the idea of doing it tipsy wasn't as appealing to him, but to each their own. the conversation flowed and eris nodded along when faye agreed that tenacity was to be expected in those that gave chase. a statement that was surely broad enough to cover their talk of wolves & things beyond.

she turned the topic over to him and he managed a wry smile. the questions weren't especially shocking. it had only been a matter of time before she'd asked him how he'd come to acquire this strange plethora of knowledge.

"not everything." he answered tepidly. he would've liked to know more, honestly; but that unquenchable quality of his was the very thing that had gotten him to this odd crossroads he stood at today. knowing too much to turn away, but still not having a full enough picture to really take matters into his own hands and wrangle fate's divine neck like he wished to. a little shrug of one shoulder. one of the other patrons at the bar called for him to refill their drink, but he cooly brushed them off.

"a mix of both, probably. it's not like i set out to get involved in all the muck of this shitehole, but it's hard not to step in it when it's all over the bloody place." the same patron groused at the end of the bar, calling for eris once more. he got a beer out and tossed it at the guy, who fumbled to catch it; it clearly hadn't been what they wanted, but eris met the statement with a dismissive "you wanna come back here and make yourself a drink?" punctuated with a raised brow and a dangerous look in his red eyes. the guy seemed to want to argue further, but quickly decided it wasn't worth it.

"town's fulla shit, and i don't mind tellin' you about it all, but we might wanna focus on the current problem first." we, he said. at the very least, even if he was only acquaintances with faye, he had enough of a sense of comradery with her that he was willing to help her escape the fast approaching maws of her own miserable fate. "you got 'til the end of the week, yeah..? s'plenty of time to figure something out." he gestured with one hand, the other arm folded over his chest, and offered her a small smile.

#audaciious #VERSE : main.

gothbachira

getting kissed so deeply and passionately while they pump their fingers in n out of you

#cw : suggestive

macabrenexus

The 'no' is met with a single nod of acknowledgment before Lee steps back to let Eris head over to the scale and stand on it. He notes the weight, nods again, scribbles it down; does the same for the height. Then, he watches closely as Eris sits back down before asking what the reason for his visit is.

Dissociation is the answer.

"I see. There could be a number of reasons for dissociation: surviving or witnessing severe events, anxiety, emotional conflict, PTSD, ADHD...even just exhaustion can make someone disconnect."

"How frequently do you dissociate?"

vvindicated

he can't help the laugh that puffs out from betwixt sardonically smiling lips. he could basically check off that entire list save for the mention of adhd. the lapse in his neutral expression is pointed and cold, not at all holding any true humor. finally, he leans back in the seat; slumped, arms aloft on either side. like the plastic arm rests of the chair was atlas and he the world.

the smile left him and his face settled back into something more tepid.

"...often enough for it to be a problem." he didn't like the disjointed feeling. it messed with his reaction time, his depth perception, his balance... it knocked him off center in a way that was dangerous for somebody who relied so wholly upon themselves; if he couldn't protect himself because his mind was too busy reeling from whatever, he was as good as useless. at that point he'd be better off holed up in his room, yet he didn't have the luxury of breaks. there was no stopping for eris - only the rapid go go go of his routine survival.

"look, i don't need a full diagnosis of what's wrong with me, mr. smith." his words were blunt, but still bordered upon polite. lee had done nothing (yet) to earn any ire. "that'd frankly take much too long and be a trouble for you moreso me. i'm used to things as they are..." or maybe not, given his current state. still, he pushed on. "i only need the most pressing symptoms to subside, and then i can carry on. do you have anything like that? that could do that? preferably something non addictive, but i realize i can't very well beg and choose."

#VERSE : main.#macabrenexus

What does your soul refuse to admit ?

The Hollow Mirror

You are everything to everyone. The perfect reflection. The adaptable friend. The listener. The one who bends until you nearly snap. But when the room goes quiet and you are left alone, the question hisses at you: Who am I, when no one is watching ? You fear the answer is nothing. A hollow mirror that only shines when someone else is standing in front of it. That's why you avoid silence. Why you keep moving, keep giving, keep twisting yourself into shapes you don't recognize. But the cracks are showing. You can't reflect forever. Sooner or later, you'll look in the mirror and realize- there's no one left to copy.

stole it from @audaciious :3c steal it from me too!

#OOC : prompts.#ISMS.#i can see this for him... & it would definitely be a facet he wouldnt want to admit! eris does have a sort of emptiness inside him.

thinking of the clairmonts and love + romance, i think its an ingrained & taught thing for them to be very one partner focused. overall a family of romantics who dote upon their chosen lover, bc they know that life is fleeting and they wish to cherish the limited time they have with them. likewise, it isn't easy to love somebody of their family - with it comes the peril of their lifestyle, but also the chance that at any time they may die during a hunt. their love is a passionate but tragic one, wherein i don't think many clairmonts and their lovers have ever had a very happy ending. but even so, for the brief time that they're with somebody, they willingly give all of their devotion and heart to them. maybe in a way, this is how they keep up the strength to keep fighting. they're only human after all, and the hunter's path is a lonely one otherwise. it's easy to become disenchanted by the humans they meet just the same as the monsters; but with love fueling them, they persevere. if not to make the world better for all, then at least to keep their lover safe.

i imagine eduard used to tease gawain about finding a nice girl (or a man! he was always supportive of his son) when he'd come of age. but he never pushed it seriously, knowing that it was better to wait for his son to come around to the idea of his own volition. anwen fretted a bit more about it, thinking gawain may be missing out on something and wishing he could find the levity that came with courting a partner; she'd always be reassured and calmed down by her husband though. even given their parental concern though, there was absolutely no way either of them would ever force anything upon gawain that he himself did not want. this became a very big point of contention when it came to the bishop who became the arbiter of their downfall; eduard and anwen would not entertain the idea of this self important snob, who refused to respect their son as a man, being in any way compatible with him. gawain himself had spurned his attempts. his parents had always been gawain's biggest supporters and fiercest defenders.

gawain himself has always been reserved when its come to the prospect of finding and courting a lover. its never been his top priority & a lot of it does have to be with his status as a transman (not that he has this word for his situation). he doesn't have the best relationship with his gender and instead of thinking too deeply on it he just pushes it aside and ignores it for the most part; but the idea of being with anyone means that inevitably, he would have to bear this uncomfortable part of himself. he doesn't know how to unpack it to himself so he's doubly uncertain of how to present it to a lover. the idea of a love that transcends the physical, of somebody that sees past his body and gender, is a deep desire and wish of his; but it's also something that even after his thirty odd years of life, he hasn't really entertained too deeply. then with the fall of his house and death of nearly all his family, becoming the 'sole heir' of the clairmont bloodline - gawain bitterly thinks that he would rather it end with him, than to ever even consider the possibility of personally carrying it on himself. with or without that true love his parents and his uncle and aunt dreamily spoke of, gawain has more or less resigned himself to a lonely death.

#ooc : koi talks #VERSE : dark fantasy.#im just yapping out loud as i think of mr gawain <3

dating values !

"trust is hard to restore once broken" is so eris. "obsessive all black" seems pretty on the nose for eris and his line of potential suitors & is very concerning haha.

TAGGED : i stole it >:3c | TAGGING : steal it from me too~

#OOC : prompts.

vicarlunares

Striding one way into the cult-heart of his totems, he kneels to the snow, snatching up the small gift he had worked tirelessly on ( no real effort has been spent on this other than a sliver of precious focus ). A woman's arms joined at the wrist, hands cupping its prize pinned through with iron nails between the gaps of her phalanges: thinner borrowed male skin layered into a posy of poppies. Frost bit through the skin marking it blue before red, but Konrad was careful in the construction to ensure unmistakable details.

He shoves it against Gawain's breast, inciting him to take it with a pushing force that suggests he won't allow refusal as an answer.

The descent from a living world into a dreary underworld was unnoticeable to naked eye. Transient cages ripple out upon Curze's entry and soon the forest, plain && aimless, would devolve into a stack of labyrinths. Nature was soon hostile, jagged, in display as it furls in awkward twists and ruts into the soil, purposeful in its disorientation. A stray trap or two. A deer might leap along the fringes, yet the fair visage of benign prey was too haggard with the rest —— antlers winding around and puncturing into its own neck. It runs from a wilding pack of coyotes packed with muscle their hides could not hold, bulging and engorged while in ferocious pursuit.

Whilst the path seems to extend with each step, eventually there would be a lonesome castle tucked into a comfortable alcove within a nest of seedy limbs. Night Haunter ascends up weathered stone steps, muttering beneath his breath with a Noachian tongue until the chiseled stone doors groaned from their slumber and yawned wide open to accept new company.

" I won't welcome you, that much is implied, but I will help you to the feasting of my home, " said Curze, skirting past niceties and allowing the choice statement pieces of morbid taxidermy to speak for themselves.

" I have red, as I do white. If your preferences are so singular that you demand a lager, then you must have me mistaken. "

vvindicated

such a peculiar beast, this night haunter was. to take the purposeful steps towards his earlier artistry and foist it upon the good hunter without a word; but in that silence, in that gesture, many words seem to wash unspoken over gawain. they'd rarely ever met in such a way during previous encounters, but with this (their last?) meeting gawain saw more of konrad than he ever had before. it was in this fleeting moment that he began to doubt the man's words.

perhaps he would mourn the loss of his adversary, even if he claimed he wouldn't. funny, that the very creature of the night gawain had sought to slay for nigh a decade would perhaps be one of the only people in the world that would note his absence, when the time came. wouldn't it thus be poetic if he were to be the one to take that honor? would konrad enjoy playing executioner to his hunter, or would it be a bittersweet affair?

the limbs cradled in one arm gloved arm, gawain could not deny the care that curze must have put into plying the flesh into delicate petals. it was a morbid display, yet too did it hold a kind of beauty. his mother had been fond of flowers; she had tried once, when he was but a bud himself, to teach him her joys. he hadn't been as enthusiastic, a child itching to finish her lessons in favor of his fathers, but he could still recall the gardens that she showed him. her personal favorite had been Iasomie, dainty white jasmines, and the dignified magnolie - magnolia flowers. she had imparted the meaning of flowers upon a young gawain and while most of those lessons had been forgotten, he could still recall the vivid red of poppy flowers; their soft, wide petals and their lone, melancholy black eyes.

it was said that the poppy was created first by the goddess demeter, in her winter sorrow, as a means of bringing peaceful slumber in the absence of her beloved persephone. so too did the chthonic gods of sleep, night, and gentle death make the poppy known as their symbol. the craftsmanship konrad had poured into his gruesome mimicry was too neat, too reverent in keeping as close to that godly flower, for gawain to mistake his choice as mere whim. had this been his earlier days, he may have assumed curze was mocking him... but now, as he followed him through the bitter night, he too felt like demeter with her grief-soothing poppies.

he was not welcomed but neither was he turned away. curze's castle was much of what could be expected - but outside from a stray glance, gawain did not make comment. he felt no need to balk at the installations; it was no different to him than the cold stone walls or the grimy floor beneath his heels. it was curze, and gawain had already allowed him to leave his flowers in his arms. was this not acceptance already?

"host's choice." he finally spoke, seemingly differential. he had a preference for red wine and the depths of spices over the tang of florals, but his gracious host would know best what he did or didn't have. or maybe he didn't - how long had it been since konrad had last drank from those aged caskets; let alone with company? "i've no taste for lagers and the like." he frankly detested the smell, let alone the taste.

#VERSE : dark fantasy.#vicarlunares

alucardcore

Boys and their toys

#ISMS.

judith with the head of holofernes by cristofano allori .

#MISC : music.#ISMS.

small yappy think-aloud post. i think eris does a really good job of making ppl think that he's a well adjusted and normal person + character (ic and ooc). but i do often think about his capacity for violence and deranged thinking. for whatever reason, fandom has more or less agreed & portrayed angel pcs as some of the most unhinged motherfuckers, and eris is not an exception. he may not be as overt about his beliefs and feelings, but being put on the pedestal of being angelic is something that has warped his perception. he just isn't the (outwardly) megalomaniac cult-leader type like a majority of the other angelic pcs. instead of seeing himself as a leader eris very much views himself as an arbiter of righteous judgement. he is not a merciful angel, he is not the angel preaching and leading; he is the warrior angel whos hands will soak in the blood of the vile. and if its dims his radiance, then so be it, bc he knows his is a just and righteous cause. if it wasn't, surely he'd be struck down. his halo and wings would be taken from him. but they havent been, and he doubts they will be.

as much as eris is a rational thinker and may come off as a mild person, he has absolutely no issue with hurting or killing somebody. should their crimes be irredeemable in his eyes, he has no pity for their suffering; he would welcome being blind if it meant blinding his enemies too. an eye for an eye does not deter him. the biggest thing he'd worry about in killing somebody wouldnt be the panic of taking a life, but the logistics of disposal.

eris is also not an impartial judge. you may expect him to be given his personality but one of his worst traits is that will rationalize and excuse the behavior of those he's close to, even if they also do things that he would otherwise find deplorable in strangers. it's extremely hypocritical of him but unless he personally is betrayed by those closest to him, he will always take their side. he's ride and die to a fault. but hey - if he was doing something wrong wouldn't he fall from the grace that's been given to him? he can excuse his own actions just as easily as he can excuse his loved ones.

#ooc : koi talks #eris technically isnt a “good” person. he just does many good things bc it benefits him & his goals.

xraventhegreatx

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#MISC : music.

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