tumblr dot com
Show & Tell
shark vs the universe
Andulka
⁂
taylor price
noise dept.
h
No title available
d e v o n
Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER
pixel skylines
hello vonnie
Sade Olutola
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Kaledo Art
macklin celebrini has autism
No title available
NASA
seen from United States
seen from Morocco
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Portugal
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@w-arlin
Loves
What is love, this image that I could think of.
For me, this is love. They are love. Nothing else matters for they're sent from up above.
Life was only black and white before them, it is colorful as I've always dreamt.
It's not always a beautiful rainbow. They make me yellow, even just when I think about them though.
My love, my priority, my jannah.
JC Chasez's From Down Here (cover)
Remember that time when JC made a cameo on an episode of a show called Las Vegas. He was performing this song with the piano. This is my version of the song. This is what it would be if I had a verse on the song.
Was trying to post the audio file but failed it said that the file isn't supported. It was an mp3 file. Didn't know what was wrong.
I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different if I weren't a mom. Would I be happy? I'd probably be happy in a different kind of way. I'd probably have different kind of happiness but since I've got these boys, I'm so grateful that I've got to feel this kind of happiness. The house we live in is not a home without them. These two human beings are the good things, the best things that have happened in my life. There's nothing I would trade for the life I have now cause I've got them. I have so many flaws as a mother. I may not be the perfect mama but I will never stop trying to be good and better as a mom and a person. Never thought before that being a parent means never ending learning. Learn a lot from the kids. They teach me so many life lessons I've never thought of before. I love learning. I love being their mom. I love having them as my kids. I love them more than my own life. I hope they always feel loved their whole lives.
Years After The World Got Shut Down
A lot to face, a lot to take in, A LOT, TOO MUCH. The first year of quarantine wasn't that bad. It was getting harder for the second year, year 2021. Most of us caught the virus with or without symptoms. Lost my dad-in-law due to this in July 2021. It was such a shocking moment for us. My dad also got it earlier that year. He had no symptoms but need to be quarantined just in time for Ramadan close to Eid, so that was the first time we didn't spend Eid together cause everyone was quarantined. Fast forward to the end of the year, my dad was diagnosed with stage V of chronical kidney disease. Honestly felt like stroke by a lightning hearing the news. I needed to take care of him, so he was staying with us. He needed to have hemodialysis twice a week. It was hard for us. I'm sure it was harder for him though. He had never been sick his entire life but his health suddenly jumped off the cliff like that. He went through hemodialysis for about three months. We went in and out of hospital cause his condition was unstable. I was always trying to look strong in front of him. It was really heartbreaking to see someone you love getting weaker each day. Allah took him on March 22nd, 2022. It was the hardest day of my life. Losing someone is something I'm most terrified of. My brother, sister, and I lost a father. My mom lost a husband. My kids lost their grandfather. They were really close to him. They also just lost their other grandfather the year before, so this was also hard for my kids to handle.
After we lost him, my mom's condition got worse. It seemed like it was impossible for her to live without her other half. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that my also went through hemodialysis once a week. So they actually had gone through that procedure together for like two months and after he left, she couldn't handle it well. The same thing happened like when we dealt with our father. We went in and out of hospital cause her condition was unstable. Fast forward again to three months after we lost our papa, mama passed away on June 29th, 2022.
So yeah, I lost two of my loved ones in the same year. It was hard of course. My heart still hurts up to this day whenever I think about this. But yeah, that's life. You can't avoid it. Allah's plan is always the best plan. This shall too overcome.
I'm not entirely sorry for 2020. Besides the pandemic situation, I've had a lot of things to be grateful for. I've never thought I could be in this kind of situation.
I've got to spend more time with my husband and kids.
I've been supervising my kid studying online.
I've been improving my cooking skill.
I've done more online shopping.
I got the *Nterview week.
I've got to listen to JC's singing voice again.
I've crossed path in the *NSYNC fandom virtual world to some nice fellas.
I've got recognized by three members of *NSYNC.
Can't wait for more exciting things to happen in the future!
I've known this man for my whole life, literally almost my whole life. We've known each other since like we were ten. We got close since we were teenagers. He's the only one who really knows my flaws and strengths. The one who knows how to deal with those. He makes me a better person I am today. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel loved. He makes me feel worthy. Yesterday was our seventh year as husband and wife. I've found my happiness with him. I love him with everything I have and anything I don't have. It's not always rainbow and cupcakes but we always try to turn lemons into lemonades. Here's to more seventeen, twenty seven, or even fifty seven years to come.
Last week, I just made a huge decision in my life. I quit the job I've been working for eight years. It was hard and I felt sad at the same time, but it feels right. I wrote it here just as a reminder that this was my decision. I remember the last three months before I called it off was really hard. Usually I only have to work four hours a day, five tops. Yet, those last three months I have to work eight hours a day and got home almost late every day. It was fine for me to do all the work, but it was hard for me to leave my kids that long. Besides, I had to leave my kids with my parents. They were not in a good condition in terms of health. They're old and have to take care of my two active children. Especially around those times, my kids frequently got sick and I couldn't be there 24/7. It hurt to see my kids got sick and I couldn't be by their sides, even that one time was the first time they visited a pediatrician without me. Heartbroken. That was the first time I thought "should I call it quit?". Then suddenly, there's this pandemic started so all the schools and works need to stop their routine and do it from home. That's when I spend my time 24/7 with my sons. Life is much easier and more comfortable for me. I feel happier. That's the moment I decided I don't want to waste another time away from my kids. They need their mom and I need to be with them.
💡"Boleh gak sih kita khawatirin masa depan?"
❤️ "Boleh dong. Harus malah."
💡"Nah, aku khawatir. Kita gak tau di depan kayak gimana. Kalo aku yang pergi duluan sih Alhamdulillah. Kalo aku yang ditinggal duluan gimana? Aku kan pengen mandiri."
❤️ "Urusan dunia? Maksudnya itu yang harus dikhawatirin itu urusan akhirat. Masa depan yang udah pasti. Lebih penting mana dunia atau akhirat?"
Then, it hit me hard. That's the moment.
It's a personal account, but this man deserves a post here. Because first, look at the hair. It might be what they call a "beautiful mess". Second, because... the smiles. Third, because... Yes!
Wish I also could hear the golden voice through the pictures.
I was at school. My friends were in confusion of what happened that could make me cry that hard. I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried so hard.
I was a big fan of Westlife back then. That day, they made an announcement that one of the members chose to leave for good. If I look back at the time now, I don't get it why I was somber. Yet at the time, I felt so heartbroken. I was crying all day that day. I even didn't want to watch or hear any news about them for a few days later. Looking back now, it's mortifying yet so funny. Lol.
I realize now, we can't underestimate someone's problem. It might be nothing for us, but huge for others. Also, sadness shall overcome. We will laugh at it in the future.
Dear Alfaeza and Bazla,
a haiku for you:
The shine of my sun
You're the apple(s) of my eye
The fondest loved ones
Once in a while, being cheesy
Makin' it worthwhile, not that easy
Insecurity A Step to Maturity?
Do I always feel happy? No. Do I always feel confident? No. Do I always do the right things? Of course not. Do I feel insecured? Yes, sometimes. Rarely happens. What do I do when I feel insecured? First, I think of all what I have now instead of what I don't have. Second, I think of what I have that might be a dream for some people. Things that other people can't have it but I have it blessfully. Third, I pray. I don't know why, but this often be the last thing comes across my mind. However, this one is the best medicine of the insecurities. I know some people think that insecurities or sadness can't be cured by "talking" to Allah, yes, it's for those who don't believe it. But, for me, I believe 100%, all the problems, insecurities, sadness, all the negativity (you name it) gone just like that after you pour your heart into the talking. I said what I said cause I experience it multiple times. When I feel sad, I just go to Allah. It works best if I do it in the middle of the night. Just say what you want. InsyaAllah, it works. Trust no one but Allah. So, is it one step closer for maturity? I'm not sure. But, after I feel all insecured and sad, I appreciate life more. Is it mature enough?
Six years (almost) of marriage, twelve years of relationship. Don't let it go out!
I thought it's something you imagine could happen to you. I thought it's the goals for the future you. I thought it's some fairytales coming true. It's something unimaginable. It's the goals that's amazingly unbelievable. It's more than you've got the coming true fairytale. It's astonishing as what it seems. They're my dreams.
Yesterday was one of those trickiest days I've had as a parent. Jadi, waktu ayah dan embun lagi sarapan sambil ngobrol seperti biasa (abang sudah sarapan duluan) dan anak sholeh ini nonton kartun kesukaannya seperti biasa, tiba-tiba dia berdiri dan "nampol" piring yang lagi saya pegang. Gak sampe pecah, tapi makanan berserakan. Kaget. Ayah dan embun gak bilang apapun, kita langsung simpan piringnya dan ambil peralatan untuk beresin. Waktu kita lagi sibuk ambil peralatan untuk bersihkan makanan yang berserakan itu, dia tiba-tiba ambil kursi plastiknya dan sengaja ngejatuhin piring yang tadi dia "tampol" sampe pecah. Padahal kondisi mood sebelumnya baik-baik aja. Reflek, I yelled at him so loud. Maybe, that's the first time I yelled at him that loud and that angry. Supaya gak terjadi hal-hal yang gak diinginkan, I chose to stay silent. Abang juga diam, tapi belum merasa bersalah. Dimarahin lah dia sama ayahnya. Akhirnya dia ngerasa bersalah dan minta maaf. Untuk kasih efek jera, I didn't accept his apology that easy. I stayed silent, didn't answer him nor looked at him a bit. Based on my experience, that was the best treatment for him so he could understand him being wrong. That happened for about an hour. Abang nangis sambil minta maaf terus-terusan. Lama-lama mbun nya gak tahan antara masih kesel, sedih dan lucu juga waktu dia mohon "mbun jawab abang dong, abangnya minta maaf, mbun jangan diem aja." 😂 Akhirnya dimaafkan tapi dia tetap dapat hukuman, gak boleh main pasir-pasiran untuk sehari itu. Dia emang senang banget main pasir sintesis sampe mbun bikin jadwal khusus sehari dua kali dia boleh main pasir, kalo gak dijadwal gitu capek beberes sisa pasirnya 😂. Setelahnya, dia emang jadi dengerin banget apa yang dibilang embun nya sih. Entah kenapa kemarin abang tiba-tiba bersikap kayak gitu. Padahal mood lagi bagus. Mungkin efek keseringan nonton film robot? Akhir-akhir ini dia emang lagi suka sama hal yang berhubungan dengan robot. Padahal setiap nonton apapun selalu didampingin. Gak pernah ngebiarin dia nonton sendiri. Ah, embun nya kudu lebih selektif lagi sama tontonannya. Being a parent should be ready to face some kind of surprises and know how to handle that kind of situation. It's not always easy but it's worth it at the end of the day when you can see his smile and get his hugs or kisses.
Balloons! 🎈🎈🎈